把妹大作战（2014）

It's a compliment! I'd be great at being birth control alright?
是表扬 我很擅长让人避孕
If my woman, that I was protecting
如果我保护的女人
wanted to not have kids, I would protect her,
不想要孩子 我就会保护她
against any one of those little buggers, dude.
赶走所有精♥子♥ 伙计
Hey? Well, they wouldn't get into the forbidden zone at all!
它们根本进不来禁区
Get out of the forbidden zone!
滚出禁区
None shall pass!
谁都不许通过
That's not something you see every day.
这可不是每天都能看到的
A shirtless man-horse fighting off imaginary sperm.
赤膊人马对战虚拟精♥子♥
Oh no! Oh my God!
不 天啊
There's 5 million more!
还有五百万个
That's enough, Danny!
够了 丹尼
Justin, you can't just be mad at him.
贾斯丁 你别生他气
We all did this.
我们都参与了
Who the hell are you supposed to be?
你扮的到底是谁
I'm sexy Steve Jobs.
我是性感版史蒂夫·乔布斯
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
别垂头丧气了
This is a huge opportunity.
这是个大好机会
Yes, Candace is going to comment
没错 坎迪斯要进行评论
tell you that she doesn't love all the romance,
告诉你她不喜欢这么浪漫
but do any of you guys know what women think
但你们男人又有谁了解
is the sexiest thing on earth?
女人认为最性感的事
I'm just being optimistic here,
我就乐观地猜一猜吧
but is it grown men who are really good at Halo Five?
是不是很会玩《光环5》的成年男人
Nice try but you're actually dead wrong!
你尽力了 但根本不沾边
It's half man, half centaur horsey guy that can do this move.
是会做这个动作的半人马
So.
就这样
No, okay?
不是这样的
It's being able to communicate openly with your partner
是能开诚布公地和伴侣谈
without them getting all sulky and insecure.
但又不让她们生气或没安全感
Right so when Candace comes to you,
坎迪斯来找你时
whatever she says, you just say:
不管她说什么你就说
"No problem, I'll work on that."
"没问题 我会改进"
Honestly, if any man ever said that to me,
其实只要男人这么跟我说
my pants would immediately be on the floor.
我裤子立马就脱好了
No problem, I'll work on that.
没问题 我会改进
I just don't know if I can face her.
我只是不知道能不能面对她
I don't want my feelings to get hurt.
我不想让自己受伤
That was me just hanging up
我刚刚是在
missing persons flyers for your testicles.
给你睾丸贴寻蛋启示
Dude, it's actually so easy, okay?
伙计 其实挺简单 对吧
All you got to do is put on your armor
你只要全副武装
and nothing comes through, dude.
就坚不可摧了
Man up, man. Watch. Here.
男人点儿 看我的
Shelly, let's practice.
谢利 排练一下
Pretend your my girlfriend
当我的女友
and try to say something that's going to hurt my feelings.
试着说些挫伤我感情的话
At the Justin Bieber roast,
在《丁日吐槽大会》上
Martha Stewart was funnier than you.
玛莎·斯图尔特都比你有趣
She didn't write her stuff.
词儿不是她自己写的
Guys, I can't help it.
我忍♥不住
When I'm in a relationship I go in guns a blazing.
我谈恋爱就想完全投入其中
You know, Roses! Poems! Intimacy! Reload.
玫瑰 诗歌♥ 做♥爱♥ 再做♥爱♥
Compassion! Pillow talk!
同情 枕边细语
I know who I am and I know it can be much to handle.
我知道真实的自己 我也知道对方应付不来
I thought I met someone who liked me for exactly who I am.
我觉得我遇到了喜欢我最真实一面的人
But I guess I was wrong.
但我想错了
I guess I'm in love with another girl
我觉得我爱上了另一个
who wants me to be different.
想让我改变的姑娘
Wait, did you say just say you're in love with her?
慢着 你刚说你爱上了她
Justin... I...
贾斯丁 我
I got to go. What?
我得走了 什么
Candace...
坎迪斯
Did you at least think I was funnier
你觉得我至少比《丁日吐槽大会》的
than Ludicrous on the Bieber roast?
荒谬克里斯要搞笑吧
Just a second little ghouls.
等一下 捣蛋鬼们
Trick or treat!
不给糖就捣蛋
Apples and toothbrushes?
苹果和牙刷[代表健康]
I will burn this place to the ground!
我要把这地方烧个精光
What do you guys want?
你们想干嘛
Excuse me. We want you to put on a costume
抱歉 我们想让你穿上套装
and come back to the bar and see Candace.
回到酒吧见坎迪斯
Okay, Not happening.
行了 不可能的
Alright, you guys heard him.
好吧 你们听到了
We tried. Let's leave. Thank you.
我们尽力了 走吧 谢谢
See you later, Justin. Goodbye, Justin.
一会儿见 贾斯丁 再见 贾斯丁
Why are you guys moving closer to me?
你们几个为什么离我越来越近
Seize him!
抓住他
What...?
什么...
What the hell was that about?!
这到底是怎么回事
Congratulations. You're a hero now.
恭喜 你现在是英雄了
You're a relationship hero. Okay? Do you understand?
你是一个情感英雄 明白吗
So now, just come back to the bar and talk to Candace
现在 回酒吧和坎迪斯谈谈
although you should, maybe do some pushups first. I don't know...
但你或许该先做几个俯卧撑什么的
What? Go back and talk about what?
回去和她谈什么
More of the things I do wrong? No thanks.
还有哪些事我做错了 算了吧
You're being such an idiot.
你真是个傻瓜
No problem, I'll work on that
没问题 我会改的
Why aren't you taking your pants off? Oh god!
你为什么不脱裤子 天啊
So one thing that you do annoys her. Big deal, okay?
就算你的一个行为让她很烦 有什么大不了
Good couples change for each other.
好的情侣会为彼此改变
Take it to church.
去教堂吧
Look, she's right, mate.
听着 她说的没错 伙计
Leslie is crazy about her boyfriend
莱丝莉喜欢惨了她的男朋友
but she still spent hours yesterday
但昨天她还是花了好长时间
crushing him about the stuff she doesn't like.
和他抱怨他的一些自己不喜欢的行为
It wasn't a big deal. I just said: "Mike,
这不是什么大事 我只是说 "麦克
don't call me from the car just because you're bored."
不要因为无聊就在车里打电♥话♥给我"
If you snore, you need to fix that.
如果你打呼 那你要改
If I snore, it's adorable.
如果我打呼 那挺可爱的
Yes, I want takeout. No, I won't pick the place
是的 我要吃外卖♥♥ 不 我不选餐厅
and no, I won't make the call.
我也不会打电♥话♥订餐
And, it's up to you to make the first move in the bedroom,
在床上你要不要主动都随便你
but, I'm never gonna tell you when that is.
但我可不会告诉你我什么时候有兴致
God, it is really amazing he hasn't proposed to you yet.
天啊 他居然还没向你求婚真是太神奇了
Are you coming or what? Come on...
你到底来不来 快点
Look, I appreciate it okay, the effort...but...
听着 你们这么努力 我心领了 但是
this is my problem with relationships.
这就是我谈恋爱的问题所在
I go too fast and fall in love way too early
我总是进展太快 深陷得太早
and then it crumbles.
事情就变得很糟糕
I just don't... I don't think I have it in me tonight. So...
我不觉得今晚我有这闲情逸致 所以
I'm not, I'm not your hero.
我做不了...我做不了你们的英雄
Mate, for what it's worth,
伙计 不管怎样
if your relationship is sinking then I'll be your mate,
如果你这爱之船沉了 那我来做你的另一半[大副]
and I'll go down with the ship!
和你同舟共济 不撞冰山不回头
No, no, probably not the right time. Okay...
不 现在好像不是说这个的时候 好吧
Come on, guys. Let's go.
来吧 大伙儿 我们走
Why do you care so much?
你们为什么这么在乎这件事
Hey man, don't you get it?
伙计 你还不明白吗
We want your relationship to work because...
我们希望你的恋情能顺利 因为...
Shelly, can you say the thing
谢利 你帮我说那句
that my body won't allow me to say please?
我的身体不允许我说出来的话吗
You're the best guy we know, Justin.
你是我们认识的最好的男人 贾斯丁
Yeah, if you can't make a relationship work then...
是啊 如果连你的恋情都无法走下去
what are the chances do the rest of us have?
那我们剩下这些人成功的几率能有多大
Hey Brett, can I get another beer?
布雷特 我能再要杯啤酒吗
Sure.
当然可以
What's up, Pooh-Bear?
小熊维尼 你好
You got any honey for me?
你有蜂蜜给我吗
Oh, that sounds like a sexual come-on.
这好像是在引诱我嘛