把妹大作战（2014）

好吧
Let's get to more mature stuff.
我们来谈点成熟的事
Welcome everybody to the 2015 friend draft.
欢迎大家来到2015年朋友选秀
Dude, hey man. Shhhh!
老兄 嘘
Candace will make the first selection.
坎迪斯选第一个人
Okay, I have to lay more truth on you. Okay?
好 但我得再告诉点真♥相♥ 好吗
Guess what? It's not going to achieve anything.
你猜怎么着 这什么用也没有
Nobody cares about your stupid friend draft
没人在乎你那愚蠢的朋友选秀
especially Candace.
尤其是坎迪斯
Leslie, I'll take Leslie. I'll take Brett!
莱丝莉 我选莱丝莉 我选布雷特
I'll take Shelly!
我选谢利
You guys probably figured since I was making fun of the friend draft
因为我刚在取笑朋友选秀
I was not going to be a part of the friend draft.
你们可能以为我不参与选秀
But. There's a surprise ending like the six sense. Okay?
但是 这像《第六感》一样有个大反转
Turns out I am going to be in the friend draft alright?
其实我是参与朋友选秀的
So, go ahead and pick me Justin.
所以选我吧 贾斯丁
I will take my best friend,
我选我最好的朋友
TV's Scott Foley. Great choice!
电视上的斯科特·弗莱 选得好
I'm great in an ensemble!
我适合演群戏
Yeah, yeah!
来吧 各位 好样的
Okay, okay!
好了 好了
Hey. You are not wrestling. Hey, hey, hey.
住手 我们在摔跤呢
Cute! Not wrestling.
老兄 你那不叫摔跤
And you didn't get any, you didn't accomplish anything. Okay?
你没做到任何事 好吗
The only thing you did accomplish
你唯一做到的事
is now Shelly knows you like Brett better than him
是让谢利知道了你更喜欢布雷特
No, no, I only picked Brett first and then I'd move on to Shelly.
不 我先选布雷特是因为我认识他更久
Shelly understands. Isn't that right Shelly?
谢利理解的 不是吗 谢利
I'm going to answer that by saying something
朋友 我会用一句我祖母每天早上
my grandma said to my grandfather every morning.
对我祖父说的话作为回答
I hope you die today.
我希望你今天死翘翘
Can you believe this crap?
你能相信吗
I was the first overall pick,
我是第一个被选的人
so you all can suck it.
所以你们都去死吧
Oh! Big words from the justin Bieber haircut over here.
留着贾斯汀·比伯发型的某人说大话了
You know, I was there when Felicity cut her hair,
费丽丝蒂剪发时我在场[出自《费丽丝蒂》]
so I know about mistakes.
所以我知道剪残了是什么样
You shut your mouth, Scott Foley!
闭上你的臭嘴 斯科特·弗莱
Hey! TV's Scott Foley!
是电视上的斯科特·弗莱
TV's Scott!
电视上的斯科特...
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
住手 住手 住手
I like her, I like her a lot.
我喜欢她 我太喜欢她了
That wasn't rehearsed.
这段彩排里没有
Okay, come here.
贾斯丁 过来
We're not even dating yet,
我们还没开始约会呢
and look what this is doing to us.
瞧瞧这对我们有多大影响
Let's go crazy.
我们来发疯吧
Okay, look
好了 听着
You guys obviously don't understand.
你们显然不明白
Look, I grew up on the streets. Okay? I was completely alone.
听着 我在街头长大 我孤身一人
I didn't have any friends.
我没有任何朋友
Didn't you have a street friend?
你难道没有街头朋友吗
Yes, but she tried to stab me!
我有 但她试图捅我
So I finally built this life for myself
所以我终于和你们这些好人
with all of you amazing people
建立起了自己的生活
and I don't want to risk losing that.
我不想冒险失去这个
And I don't want to lose you as a friend.
而且我真心不想失去你这个朋友
I'm not saying never
我不是说永远不可能
I'm sorry but I don't think I can date you right now.
我很抱歉 我觉得我现在不能和你约会
I'm so sorry. No, that's ok. You know...
我真抱歉 不 没事的
Just, when you're ready I will be here waiting for you
我会在原地静静等你准备好的
and... whether it is one day from now or two days from now.
无论要等上一天还是两天
You guys know when you're really bummed out
你们知道当你真的很烦躁的时候
and sometimes you have a sad song in your head?
有时脑海里会浮现一首悲伤的歌♥曲吧
Well, here's the thing:
事情是这样的
that song didn't work for me
现在这音乐不合我心意
'cause I'm sad. I'm really sad!
因为我难过 我真的很难过
Look, we were friends yesterday, and we're still friends today,
听着 我们昨天是朋友 今天还是朋友
so I just want to say that so we can squash any weirdness, alright?
我就想说一声 一扫我们之间的尴尬
Weirdness squashed.
尴尬解决了
Here you go. That's too intimate. Too intimate.
来吧 太亲密了 太亲密了
Handshake. There you go.
握手好了
That's too formal. What am I, running for office?
太正式了 搞得跟参加竞选一样
Fist bump? Here we go.
碰碰拳头 来吧
Wow. That is...
这真是...
It's body connection.
我们的身体紧密相连
Your fist is really warm. It's like a loaf of bread.
你的拳头很暖 跟新出炉的面包似的
I bet it smells good too.
它闻起来肯定也很香
I didn't need to smell your fist.
我没必要闻你的拳头[被打]
You normally only hear that in prison.
一般只有在监狱里才会听到这句话
You like that sigh, Daniel?
喜欢那声叹息吗 丹尼尔
That's your handy work.
这可是你的功劳
And there is nothing's sadder than a sighing bag of mayonnaise.
没什么比叹息的一袋蛋黄酱更让人难过的
Candace is just as bad.
坎迪斯也不好过
Have you ever seen a more depressing relationship?
你看到过比这更抑郁的情侣吗
Well yeah, all you got to do is pivot your chair and look that way.
当然 你只要转转椅子看那边就能看到了
Blue is my favorite color. Blue is my favorite.
蓝色是我最喜欢的颜色 我最喜欢蓝色
I wish you could see the color blue.
我真希望你能看到蓝色
Yeah, that's the color I feel like I've always missed.
这是我想念了很久的颜色
Listen Karli, um,
听着 卡莉
there's something I need to be honest with you about.
有件事我要和你说实话
Oh good, honesty is so important to me.
很好 诚实对我来说太重要了
Honesty from the start or I am outta here, y'know?
从始至终保持坦诚 不然我就走人 懂吗
Yeah, I do know.
是 我懂
For both of us actually, honesty from the start.
对我们都是 得从始至终保持坦诚
And that's actually what I want you to consider,
事实上我就是想让你好好考虑一下
from this moment on, as the start.
把这一刻当做我们的起点
Agreed? I think the start was when we met?
同意吗 我还以为我们的相遇才是开始
No, I mean call me a romantic,
不 当我浪漫主义者吧
but I look at that as the beginning.
我把我们的相遇视作开端
This is the start of us.
这才是我们的开始
Well then honesty from the beginning.
那就从开端起就要保持坦诚
That's not what you said.
你刚才可不是这么说的
I can't take this anymore.
我再也受不了了
Oh my god! Those are the greatest things I have...
天啊 我从没看到过这么美妙的...
ever seen.
东西
I mean those are the greatest things sensed.
我是说从没感知到这么美妙的东西
You're not blind? We're done.
你没瞎 我们结束了
Lose my number.
删掉我的电♥话♥
Why wolud you do that, Leslie?
莱丝莉 你干嘛要这么做
I was just about to tell her. I liked her.
我正要和她坦白 我很喜欢她
Can you believe him? What?
你能信吗 怎么了
I can't believe you used your boozems for evil.
我真不敢相信你用你傲人的双峰做了坏事
You know with a great rack comes great responsibility.
要知道 罩杯越大 责任越大
You only did that because you're jealous.
你只是出于嫉妒才这么做
Can you believe these two Shelly?
你能相信这两个人吗 谢利
They're like some weird brother sister team
他们就像一对诡异的兄妹拍档
that goes around ruining their friends' relationships.
四处破坏他们朋友的恋情
No, what are you talking about... We've been over this, okey?
你在说什么 我们已经讨论过了好吗
When it comes to Justin and Candace
贾斯丁和坎迪斯的事
it's not my fault. All I did was telling the truth.
可不是我的错 我只是说了实话
Oh, so you're still hiding behind the truth.
你还是不肯面对真♥相♥
Well, truth battle, Danny.
开实话战 丹尼
Okay, alright. No big deal. Truth battle accepted okay?
好 没什么大不了的 接受实话战
Well your voice, it sounds like you're an old southern lady.
你的声音听上去像个南方老淑女的声音
Well I never!
我才不是
Truth! You're my friend and I love you.
实话 你是我朋友 我爱你
Truth, you're playing the truth battle wrong.
实话 你打开实话战的方式不对
You're making me feel so bad.
让我好内疚
Look Danny! That's because you deserve it.
听着丹尼 因为你活该
Listen mate, any one of us could have told