把妹大作战（2014）

So, figured out what everybody names mean.
我知道大家的名字是什么意思了
To Leslie is to guzzle an entire bottle of wine in one sitting.
"莱丝莉"就是一下干掉一瓶红酒
And to Candace is to overuse the phrase
"坎迪斯"就是不断地说
"Leslie, you have a problem"
"莱丝莉 你有问题了"
So what about Bretting? What's Bretting?
那"布雷特"呢 "布雷特"是什么
Maybe Bretting is to be in worse shape than most gay guys?
"布雷特"意思可能就是指比大部分基佬的身材都差
I don't love it. Come on, guys.
我不喜欢 拜托 各位
Think of something. I don't understand
好好想想 我不明白
why is this such a big deal to you?
你为什么这么在意这件事
Because you should know me by now!
因为你们现在都该了解我了
Do you guys think I'm just a random gay British dude
你们觉得我就是个一般的英国基佬
who is randomly tending bar in Detroit
在底特律的酒吧工作
randomly for some reason that no-one's ever explained?
从来没解释过原因吗
It's like, it's like you guys can't even see me!
就像是 就像是你们都看不见我
Guys Shel's coming! Come on!
各位 小谢来了 不是吧
Okay, now. Would you fix Candace's old bedroom upstairs?
你能修好楼上坎迪斯那间旧卧室吗
Yeah, but how are we going to trick him to go upstairs to see it?
是的 可是我们怎么才能把他骗上去看啊
You boozy clown. Let me handle it.
你这个酒鬼小丑 这事我来搞定
Hey, Shelly! Can you do me a favor
谢利 能帮我个忙吗
and help me clear up old trash upstairs?
帮我清理一下楼上的垃圾
It shouldn't take long.
不会花太长时间的
It's just lots of candy and magazines about butts.
只是有很多糖和美女杂♥志♥
You called the right man for the job.
你找对人了
Why is Shelly going up there?
谢利为什么上去了
Because we tricked him into seeing his new room.
因为我们骗他去看他的新卧室
What the hell? Hold on, you told everyone?
搞什么 等一下 你跟所有人都说了吗
No. I became a completely different person
不 我完全变了一个样
and kept it to myself. Come on, Daniel.
谁都没告诉 拜托 丹尼尔
Let's keep this thing moving. Relax, we have a plan.
我们继续吧 别紧张 我们有计划
You see, you see, when Shelly comes down
等谢利下来的时候
I will casually mention that last night the bar was robbed.
我会不经意地提起昨晚酒吧被抢劫了
And then Leslie and Brett are in charge of ad-libbing shock.
然后莱丝莉和布雷特就会表现得非常吃惊
Oh, my God! I just feel so vulnerable now.
天哪 我感到好无助
I don't know what to do. I thought this was such a good neighbood.
我不知道该怎么做 我以为这里治安很好
And then my line is: if somebody was staying upstairs
然后我的台词是 如果有人住在楼上
none of this would have ever happened.
这种事就不会发生了
Alright, but we're not going to do it like that, right?
是的 可我们不会这么做 对吧
We talked about the arms? Anyway, doesn't matter.
我们讨论过手臂了 无所谓了
Point is, I'll say what a great idea,
关键是 我会说这主意真棒
honey, someone should live upstairs and we will do a quick kiss.
亲爱的 有人该住楼上 我俩快速亲一下
And then Leslie and I will kiss. Except we won't.
然后我和莱丝莉会亲嘴 并不会
And I'll say: Can anybody stay at the bar and protect it
然后我会说 有谁能待在酒吧住一阵子
by crashing here for a while? And what does everyone say?
从而保护它吗 然后大家说什么
No...
不
And then Leslie and I will kiss.
然后我和莱丝莉会亲嘴
See, that prompts, Shelly volunteers,
那能提示谢利 他自愿留下
he has a home and he's none the wiser!
他有了家 而他还是蒙在鼓里
Okay well, uh, unfortunately,
好吧 但不幸的是
you forgot about the little monkey wrench in your plan.
你忽视了计划中可能的失误[猴子扳手]
Danny, do you think a monkey wrench
丹尼 你以为可能的失误
is just a monkey holding a wrench?
就是猴子拿着扳手吗
Yeah. He just goes around and unscrews everybody's plans.
没错 他到处跑 破坏人们的计划
Anyway, look, Shelly doesn't want charity, okay?
总之 谢利不想被施舍
You're not doing this.
你别这么做
Fine. We won't offer the room.
行 我们不提供房♥间
Because you're going to do it.
因为交给你了
Okay and why the hell would I do that, huh?
好吧 凭什么交给我了
Because I've changed you.
因为我改变了你
You see, you care about the people in your life now.
你现在会在意你生命中的人了
Go ahead and make that shocked face.
继续做你那震惊的表情
Just know this, Daniel, Radcliffe, Burton.
要知道 丹尼尔 莱德克里夫 伯顿
None of us are going to help Shelly.
我们都不会帮谢利
His happiness is all on you.
他的幸福全靠你了
Well, it looks like my evening's presented itself.
看来我美好的夜晚自己出现了
You guys all have a good night. But, uh...
各位晚安 但是...
Something on your mind, Danny?
有心事吗 丹尼
Uh, no, I just...
不 我只是...
Justin's bar got robbed and
贾斯丁的酒吧被盗了
he wants someone to stay upstairs
他想让人待在楼上
and we can look over the place so it won't happen again.
我们才能看住这房♥子 以防再发生盗窃
Can anyone do it?
其他人行吗
No. Oh, that's too bad. Shelly, can you do it?
不能 真糟糕 谢利 你可以吗
I mean I guess I could. As a favor to you, of course.
我想可以 当作帮你忙嘛
All right. I'll get settled in.
行 那我上去安顿了
Look, you helped a friend in need.
瞧 你帮助了一个有需要的朋友
You know what that makes you? A friend, indeed.
这让你成为了真正的朋友
You know what? I'm actually tired of all this monkey business...
知道吗 我真的烦演猴子[欺骗]了
What the hell is he doing?
他到底在干什么
I believe that is a monkey conducting business.
那是猴子在谈生意吧
People of Detroit! It is bed-time.
底特律的人们 该睡觉了
I'm about to consume this edible
我把这东西吃了
and have some crazy dreams.
做些疯狂的梦
Please finish your drink and
请喝完饮料
decide if you're going to
决定要不要
have hot sex with the person you're talking to.
和你正在谈话的人热辣性♥爱♥
Always use condoms.
一定要戴套
Go Lions.
雄狮队加油
See, it's all working out, Danny.
看 挺好的吧 丹尼
Hey, boys, before I go to bed
伙计们 我上♥床♥前
I have a couple of questions about the robbery,
关于盗窃还有些疑问
if you don't mind. Oh, ha! He knows. Ha!
不介意吧 他知道了
He doesn't know the truth!
他不知道事实
The truth about what? What, uh.
什么事实 什么
Oh, uh, Danny! The truth about teen pregnancy.
丹尼 青少年怀孕的事实
Isn't that right? It's a big deal.
是吧 这可是大事
Yeah, uh, it's a huge deal. That's right.
这事很严重 没错
Yeah. Babies born to adolescents has dropped
青少年生孩子的数量自1990年
since reaching an all-time high in 1990,
达到最高值以来就一直在下降
but it's still a complex issue that
但这仍然是
everybody is kind of alarmed about. You know?
大家非常紧张的问题
Research shows knowledge-based programs help decrease teen pregnancy rate,
研究显示知识教育项目可以降低青少年怀孕率
but abstinence only education without information about birth control does not. So...
但不谈计划生育的禁欲教育不会 所以...
Follow my lead, all right? Okay.
听我指挥 行吗 行
That's what we're going to do.
我们就要这么做
You take the lead and I'm gonna say
你来指挥 我来说
whatever you say. We've got this.
你要说的 我们能搞定
I'm amazing at this.
这方面我很擅长
So, boys... Yeah, sitting down.
伙计们... 坐吧
So, yeah. Tell me how this whole robbery went down.
好吧 告诉我盗窃到底是怎么回事
It's very kind of simple. Simple yeah.
其实非常简单 很简单 没错
Closed up, the robber broke in. Closed up.
打烊了 盗贼闯进来 打烊了
He closed up and the robber came in.
他打烊了 盗贼闯进来
A robber came in. And everything was gone.
盗贼闯进来 东西都不见了
And he was like what? Where is it you know?
他就一副东西哪儿去了的样子
Then I filed the police report and called the police.
然后我填写了报告 报了警
Called the police. The police were like hey we're the police!
报♥警♥了 警♥察♥说他们是警♥察♥
And they said there was a slim chance of catching this guy.
他们说抓到罪犯的机会很小
A guy named Slim. Whoops, wasn't a guy named Slim, sorry.
那个人叫"很小" 不是叫"很小"的人 抱歉
That's funny and just a slim chance of catching him,
太可笑了 是抓到罪犯的机会很小
but they did say if we had somebody living upstairs...
但他们确实说如果有人住楼上
And the cops were, like...
警♥察♥就那副样子
If there were someone up - there
如果有人在上面
it probably wouldn't happen again. So anyway...
就不会再发生这种事 总之就是...
So that's what happened. Yeah.
就是这样 没错
I don't know.
我说不好
You guys are acting a little weird.
你们两个怪怪的
I want to ask you all one question, and I want you all to answer.
我要问你们所有人一个问题 你们都要回答
This policeman.
这个警♥察♥
What did he look like?
他长什么样
He was Jewish. Bright eyes.
他是犹太人 眼睛很亮