非理性（2023）

无论我多么努力，
And no matter how hard I worked,
这永远不够好。
it was never good enough.
所以我停止了尝试。
So I stopped trying.
我不再给她打电♥话♥了。
I stopped calling her.
我不再和她说话了。
I stopped talking to her more than I needed to.
我在放假期间留在学校。
I stayed at school during holiday breaks.
我只是一直想，嗯，
I just always thought, um,
以后还会有更多的时间，
there'd be more time later,
你知道，要解决我们的分歧。
you know, to sort out our differences.
然后她死了。
And then she died.
我很抱歉。
I am so sorry.
我想我还在努力向她证明一些事情。
I guess I'm still trying to prove something to her.
我可能永远都是。
I probably always will be.
那个手镯，是妈的，不是吗？
That bracelet, it's your mom's, isn't it?
我的意思是，每次我们提到她，你都会触摸它。
I mean, every time we mention her, you touch it.
我不能告诉你该怎么做。
I can't tell you what to do.
但我可以告诉你我希望我做了什么。
But I can tell you what I wish I had done.
去看她吧。
Go visit her.
嘿，进来吧。
Hey, come on in.
你想喝点什么吗？
You want something to drink?
对不起，我没想到会有公♥司♥。
Sorry, I wasn't expecting company.
我有啤酒和苏打水。
I got beer and sparkling water.
一、冰茶？
Um, iced tea?
为什么不呢？
Why not?
CJ怎么样？-我。。。
How's CJ? - I...
我今天下午没有和她说话。
I haven't talked to her this afternoon.
其实不太好。
Not so well actually.
她... - 她还活著。
Is she... - She's alive.
但我有一种感觉，现在不会太久了。
But I have a feeling it won't be long now.
我很遗憾听到这个消息。
I'm sorry to hear that.
我也是。
So am I.
事实是，
The truth is,
我。。。我不知道没有她我该怎么办。
I... I don't know what I'm gonna do without her.
你知道，说出来可能很可怕，
You know, it may be terrible to say it,
但也许现在世界终于会见到你了
but maybe now the world will finally see you
因为你是谁，
for who you are,
你所做的一切。
everything you do.
你知道的
You know,
我最担心的是，它只会证明这一点，
kind of my biggest fear that it'll only prove that,
你知道，没有她，我什么都不是。
you know, without her I'm nothing.
味道还好吗？
Taste okay?
一，坐下。
Um, sit down.
你知道，无论谁对CJ这样做，都非常非常聪明。
You know, whoever did this to CJ was really, really smart.
你觉得呢？-是的。
You think? - Yeah.
看看他掩盖自己的踪迹有多好。
Look how well he covered his tracks.
嗯，钋通常会留下一个漂亮的小痕迹。
Um, polonium usually leaves a nice little trail.
无论谁这样做，都是某种犯罪策划者。
Whoever did this was some kind of criminal mastermind.
嗯，我的意思是，不是太多的策划者。
Well, I mean, not too much of a mastermind.
我的意思是，他......他让受害者活著。
I mean, he... He left his victim alive.
真。
True.
但我认为这是故意的。
But I think that was intentional.
我认为他在和CJ一起玩。
I think he was playing with CJ.
他想看看他能不能在她自己的比赛中打败她。
He wanted to see if he could beat her at her own game.
我。。。我不认识太多人
I... I don't know too many people
谁在...在任何游戏中。
who'd beat CJ at... at any game.
我不认为这会像他想像的那么激动人心。
I don't think it's gonna be as thrilling as he imagines.
是的？W-这是为什么？
Yeah? W-why is that?
复雠的杀手想要
The killer out for revenge wants
直视受害者的眼睛
to look his victim in the eye
那一刻，她意识到他赢了。
at the moment she realizes he's won.
无论谁对CJ这样做，都不会得到这种满足感。
Whoever did this to CJ will never get that satisfaction.
那是一种什么样的胜利？
What kind of victory is that?
对不起。
Excuse me.
嘿。运气好吗？
Hey. Any luck?
答案是肯定的。
Of course.
我会让他知道的。
I'll let him know.
看起来CJ的病情发生了转机。
It looks like CJ's condition has taken a turn.
她陷入了昏迷，
She's fallen into a coma,
他们不指望她能走出来。
and they don't expect her to come out of it.
很难想像
It's hard to imagine
没有她的世界。
the world without her.
嗯，如果你不介意的话，我能独处一段时间吗？
Um, could I get some time alone i-if you don't mind?
答案是肯定的。
Of course.
CJ？
CJ?
这一次，你无话可说？
For once, you got nothing to say?
对不起，它不得不以这种方式结束。
I'm sorry it had to end this way.
但别担心。
But don't worry.
一切都会很快结束。
It'll all be over soon.
但在你走之前......
But before you go...
我想让你知道一些事情。
I wanted you to know something.
是我。
It was me.
惊讶？
Surprised?
是的，我敢打赌你是。
Yeah, I bet you are.
你永远不会猜到我能成功
You never would've guessed that I could pull off
完美的犯罪。
the perfect crime.
我玩得很公平。
I played fair.
我给了你一个解决它的机会。
I gave you a chance to solve it.
但我打败了你，不是吗？
But I beat you, didn't I?
世界永远不会知道。
The world will never know.
但我会知道的。
But I'll know.
现在
And now,
在你死前的那一刻，
in the moments before you die,
你会知道我打败了你。
you will know that I beat you.
我想我比你想像的要聪明得多。
I guess I'm a lot smarter than you thought I was.
没那么聪明。
Not that smart.
我不会那样做。
I wouldn't do that.
给他戴上手铐。
Cuff him.
你真的那么讨厌我吗？
Did you really hate me so much?
谢谢。
Thank you.
你来晚了。
You're here late.
我猜忘记了时间。
Lost track of time, I guess.
妮可告诉我CJ会接受治疗。
Nicole told me CJ's gonna get the treatment.
至少他们会有第二次机会，对吧？
At least they'll get a second chance, right?
谢谢你。
Thanks to you.
里兹万告诉我你做了什么。
Rizwan told me what you did.
CJ和Nicole的整个情况，
This whole situation with CJ and Nicole,
它让你想起了你的妈妈，不是吗？
it reminded you of your mom, didn't it?
你从来没有告诉我她是怎么死的。
You never told me how she died.
开会迟到了，
She was late for a meeting,
逆著光交叉，
crossed against the light,
而且，被车撞了。
and, got hit by a car.
像这样的意外损失需要更长的时间才能愈合。
An unexpected loss like that takes longer to heal from.
看起来是这样。
So it seems.
你还在玩「如果」游戏，对吧？
You're still playing the "what if" game, right?
如果她早五分钟离开呢？
What if she had left five minutes sooner?
五分钟后？
Five minutes later?
或者，如果她只是在等待光明呢？
Or what if she'd just waited for the light?
如果我们没有在她死的那天晚上战斗怎么办？
What if we hadn't fought the night that she died?
你知道，每当失落感开始时，
You know, whenever feelings of loss start,
有一种诱惑，想更深入地研究它。
there's a temptation to go deeper into it.
我们认为它尊重死者。
We think that it respects the dead.
但更好的思考方式是
But a better way to think of it would be
让自己想起美好的时光。
to remind yourself of the good times.
如果它不起作用怎么办？
What if it doesn't work?
如果我不记得美好的时光怎么办？
What if I can't remember the good times?
然后你打电♥话♥给我。
Then you call me.
我们会谈论她并找到他们。
And we'll talk about her and find them.
吉恩认为他犯下了完美的罪行。
Gene thought that he'd committed the perfect crime.
它拥有完美谋杀故事的所有元素......
It had all the elements of a perfect murder story...
骄傲，复雠，
Pride, revenge,