前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes
第四季
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前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes S04E04
Part 1
March 18, 2021, 1:49 p.m.
你们觉得怎么样?
So what do you think?
看看谁来了 特种部队搞笑版
Look who's here... G.I. Joke.
你穿成这样干吗?
What's with the getup?
你们难道不记得了吗?
Don't you remember?
我自愿做预备役军官的牙医
I volunteer for the dental reserve corps.
多长时间去一次?
How long's your hitch?
每个月一个周六下午
One Saturday afternoon a month,
不过下个月我要参加婚礼
although next month I have a wedding.
斯图尔特 不觉得这制♥服♥有点过了吗?
Stuart, don't you think that outfit's a bit much?
这套军装是美国陆军上尉
This outfit happens to be the uniform of captain
制♥服♥ 我去汉密尔顿军事基地训练时
in the United States army, which I'm required to wear
必须穿着的
when I work on the soldiers at fort Hamilton.
必须?
"Required"?
我才不会穿这套衣服招摇过市呢
I'd wear that thing all over town.
我看到穿这样的都是些想泡妞的花♥花♥公♥子♥
That's a panty-dropper if ever I saw one.
是的 这就是我和你不同的地方 哈斯凯尔
Yes. Well, that's where you and I differ, Haskell.
我绝不会用这套衣服
I would never disgrace this uniform
去干这么龌龊让人不齿的事情
by using it for such tawdry and salacious purposes.
别担心 你就这么说下去
Don't worry... You keep talking like that,
没有女孩儿会让你泡
and nobody's panties are going anywhere.
嘿 伙计们
Hey, guy...
哦 看看你啊 制♥服♥诱惑啊
Oh, look at you, officer sexy.
抱歉
If you'll excuse me,
我要去打击
I'm off to the war...
牙龈炎了
On gingivitis.
- 嘿 哈斯凯尔 - 嘿 嘿
- Hey, Haskell. - Hey, hey.
周六了
So it's Saturday.
今晚有什么计划吗?
You got any big plans for tonight?
当然
I certainly do.
有一个写着我名字的特大三明治
There's a hoagie with my name on it
正风驰电掣的穿过第三大街朝这驶来
bicycling up 3rd Avenue as we speak.
亲爱的 我知道尼基伤透了你的心
Honey, I know Nicki broke your heart,
但是你总要出去 遇见其他的女人
but you got to get out there and meet other women.
不 谢谢了 我遭受的屈辱这辈子都无法康复了
No, thanks. I've had enough humiliation to last a lifetime.
哈斯凯尔 美好的周六之夜 你不能就这么
Haskell, you cannot spend another Saturday night
一个人坐在沙发上
alone on the couch.
我不是一个人
I'm not alone.
我正和我最喜欢的人在一起 那人就是我
I'm simply spending time with my favorite person... me.
我喜欢我的故事 我明白我的幽默
I love my stories. I get all my jokes.
如果来了兴致
And if the mood should so strike,
这么说吧 我也许还能自己爽一下
let's just say that I have yet to, uh, turn myself down.
我们得帮帮那个可怜的混♥蛋♥
We've got to help that poor bastard.
- 谁? - 哈斯凯尔
- Who? - Haskell.
自从尼基之后 好像他完全放弃了希望
Ever since Nicki, it's like he's given up hope.
如果我们不做点什么
If we don't do something,
他可能就要孤独终老了
he could end up alone for the rest of his life.
这倒有意思了
That's funny.
我们通常都是这么说你的
That's what we usually say about you.
好吧 好吧 我们今晚带他去酒吧
All right, fine. We'll take him out to the bar tonight
帮他认识个女人
and hook him up with a lady.
好的 说是我们 其实就是你
All right, and by "we," I mean "you."
我有安排了
I-I have plans.
难道你忘了五个月之后姐是要结婚的?
Or have you forgotten that I'm getting married in five months?
没错 你老公找的怎么样了?
That's right. How's the husband search coming?
今晚等我走遍所有的警员酒吧
Well, ask me later tonight after I've hit all the cop bars
逛完家得宝之后再问我吧
and trolled home depot.
但是关键不是我
But it's not about me.
哈斯凯尔才是最需要帮助的那个
Haskell's the desperate one.
前夫总动员 第四季 第四集 警官和牙医
嘿 大兵 给女生买♥♥杯喝的怎么样?
Hey, soldier. Buy a gal a drink?
哦 要是在二战我一定是个浪荡♥女♥
Ah, I would have been such a slut in World War II.
不管怎么样 你在基地的第一天怎么样?
Anyway, how was your first day on the base?
如同地狱
It was hell.
烤瓷 牙洞 洗牙
The crowns, the cavities, the cleanings...
一直不停 伊顿 一刻都不停
They just kept coming, Eden. They just kept coming.
不管怎样 重要的是
Anyway, the important thing is,
你已经从地狱回来了 安全到家
you're out of that hellhole, and you made it home safe.
- 上帝保佑你 - 是啊
- God bless you, soldier. - Yeah.
不好意思 我忍♥不住听到你们的谈话
Excuse me. I couldn't help but overhear.
非常感谢你为国效劳
I'd like to thank you for your service.
哦你看 我真的没做什么
Look, I really haven't done anything.
别谦虚
Don't be modest.
在你的脸上我看到了痛苦和苦难
I can see the pain and suffering in your face.
我叫凯蒂
I'm Katie.
哦 我是斯图 斯图尔特·加德纳上尉
Ah, I'm Stu... Uh, captain Stuart Gardner.
加德纳上尉 能请你吃晚餐吗?
Captain Gardner, could I buy you dinner?
为我们英勇的战士 让我略表心意
It's the least I can do for one of our fighting men.
这样的话 我想我也正好可以休息一下
Well, I suppose I could use some R&R.
好了 哈斯凯尔 这里有各种美女
All right, Haskell. This bar is packed with honeys.
我希望你能把这当成一个装龙虾的水箱
I want you to think of it as a lobster tank.
挑一个你喜欢的
Pick the one you like,
我会把她带到你的桌上
and I'll bring her over to your table.
鉴于你这么说对女士 对我 对龙虾都很无礼
Considering that was demeaning to women, me, and lobsters,
我想我还是不要了
I think I'll pass.
哦 不 不 不不 你不能不要
Oh, no, no, no. You can't pass.
作为你的朋友 你的好基友
As your friend and wingman,
你没找到女友之前 我们是不会离开这里的
we ain't leaving here till you find yourself a lady.
你看 菲尔 你不需要这么做的
Look, Phil, you don't have to do this.
我知道是霍利让你这么做的
I know Holly put you up to it.
霍利?
Holly?
她没告诉我要做什么
She don't tell me what to do.
我是个独♥立♥的人 我做我喜欢的事
I'm my own man. I run my own show.
不如这样 我坐那边
Why don't I sit over there
然后我们一起告诉霍利你帮我找到女朋友了?
and we'll tell Holly you hooked me up?
谢谢 哥们 我欠你一次
Thanks, buddy. I owe you one.
哦
Uh...
嘿 宝贝
Hey, baby.
让我给这里最漂亮的女士买♥♥杯喝的怎么样?
How about I buy the sexiest woman in the bar a drink?
哦 该死的
Oh, crap.
嘿 你刚刚跟我说该死的?
Hey, did you just "oh, crap" me?
不 你不该跟我说该死的
No, I'm not the "oh, crap" guy.
你应该跟我说 我们走吧 亲
I'm the "let's get out of here" guy.
不是针对你 我只是实在没心情
Nothing personal. I'm just not in the mood.
看到我你会没心情?
You're not in the mood for this?
真的? 出什么事了吗?
Really? Did something happen?
家里有人死了?
Was it a death in the family?
嘿 这地方人太多了
Hey, this place is really packed.
介意 介意我坐下吗?
Mind if I... If I sit down?
随便
Knock yourself out.
哇喔 你在读老爹海明威
Wow. You're reading Papa Hemingway.
听着 我不想无礼 哦 嗨
Look, I don't mean to be ru... Ho... hi.
你看了多少了?
So how far have you gotten in the book?
我刚看到他在巴黎喝醉了
I just finished the part where he's drunk in Paris,
马上就要读到他在西班牙喝醉的那部分了
and I'm getting to the part where he's drunk in Spain.
哦 那得等到他在
Oh, wait till you get to the part
- 古巴喝醉了之后 - 哦
- where he's drunk in Cuba. - Oh.
你知道吗 我开始在想这本书真正的
You know, I'm beginning to think that the true hero
主角是他的肝
of this story is his liver.
你太有趣了
That's funny.
- 嗨 我是丹妮 - 哈斯凯尔·吕策
- Hi. I'm Dani. - Haskell Lutz.
那个海明威 他很懂得如何生活 哈?
That Hemingway guy... He knew how to live, huh?
我是说 斗牛 打猎 拳击
I mean, bullfighting, big-game hunting, boxing.
是的 他还很喜欢烈酒
Yeah, he also loved a straight bourbon
和上好的雪茄
and a fine cigar.
谁不喜欢呢?
Who doesn't?
让你说的我也想来支雪茄了
Now you've got me in the mood for a cigar.
你知道吗 我碰巧知道曼哈顿西部
You know, I know this great cigar club
有个很好的雪茄俱乐部
on the West Side.
哇喔 很少有女人
Wow. You don't meet too many women
喜欢雪茄的
who are into stogies.
我不是一个普通的女人
前夫总动员（2011）
The Exes
剧集 | 前夫总动员（2011） | 导航列表