外星也难民

在彼得经历了这么痛苦的一切之后
How could you say that about Peter
你怎么能这么说他
after everything he's been through?
说真的 特里 滚一边呆着去吧
Seriously, Terry, go fuck yourself.
如果不是甜心天使彼得干的 那么会是谁
If sweet angel Peter didn't do it, who did?
我们有冒犯过这个世界里的什么人吗
Is there someone in our world we offended in some way?
上周雅姆莱克和我
Um, last week Yumyulack and I
不想参加历史考试
didn't want to take a history test,
所以就用骨骼改造射线把弗朗基女士的骨骼变成了金属
so we used the Bone Changer Ray to turn Ms. Frankie's bones into metal
就好像漫威的金刚狼
like Marvel's Wolverine.
-我这是怎么了 -你好 亲爱的
- What's happening to me? Argh! - Hello, sweetie!
你是不是忘了把钥匙从口袋里掏出来了
Did you forget to take your keys out of your pocket again?
老天 这可真残忍♥ 那一定是弗朗基女士干的了
Jesus, that's grim. It must have been Ms. Frankie.
且慢 上周二罗兰那还发生了一件事
Well, hold on, there was also this thing with Roland last Tuesday...
我刚看完玩具总动员4
I just watched Toy Story 4,
觉得让别人的玩具活过来会有趣得很
and I thought it would be fun to make someone's toys come alive.
所以我用遥控把他的东西用复活射线改造了一下
So I zapped this guy's stuff with our Make-Alive Ray.
活过来吧 小混♥蛋♥们 活过来
Live , motherfuckers, live!
我的东西怎么活了 发生了什么
Why is my stuff alive? What's happening?
这太奇葩了 特里 但我们又多了个值得怀疑的对象
That's messed up, Terry. But another viable suspect.
-还可能是马修 -谁
- It could also be Matthew. - Who?
邻居家那个无缘无故讨厌我的小屁孩
He's the neighborhood fuckboi who hates me for no reason.
他就像是我的死敌
He's kind of my nemesis.
马修告诉我我不能穿"神蛋"节的毛衣
Matthew told me I wasn't allowed to wear Christ-mas sweaters
因为我对"神蛋"节一无所知
because I don't know anything about Christ-mas,
谁知道那是什么意思
whatever the fuck that is.
所以我就打算用高科技节日大炮轰他
So I decided to shoot him with the sci-fi holiday cannon.
老天 不
Oh god! No!
我感觉不到我的灵魂了
I can't feel my soul!
现在是谁不了解"神蛋"节了 你个混♥蛋♥
Who doesn't know about Christ-mas now, you fuck?
不错 我们刚回忆了三个很有可能
Okay, wow, we just flashed back to three really good options
陷害我们的人的选项
for who's framing us.
讲真 满足条件的可能还有数十上百人
Honestly, there could be dozens of hundreds more.
大家先停一下 仔细想想
Guys, stop. Think about it.
人类可做不出这种事
There's no way humans could do this.
-他们蠢爆了 -小雅说得对 他们不是一般的蠢
- They're dumb as fuck. - Yum's right, they hella dumb.
他们都是逊逼
They're so budget.
杰茜 不要把逊逼变成新的口癖
Jesse, stop trying to make budget the new basic.
但确实 就事论事 他们确实是逊逼
But yes, in this one instance, they are budget.
但有人在搞我们
But someone did this to us.
一个聪明的 强大的 帅气的
Someone who's smart, powerful, handsome,
热爱动物的 颧骨突出
loves animals, has cheek bones for days,
时间充裕的家伙
lots of time on their hands.
那会是谁呢
Who could it be?
-奥巴马 -爱探险的朵拉
- Obama! - Dora the Explorer!
没错 奥巴马 西方学院的骄傲
Yes, Obama! The pride of Occidental College.
自从我们在卡波的风帆冲浪中赢了他之后
Motherfucker's been on our shit
他就一直看我们不爽
ever since we out-windsurfed him in Cabo.
我们必须越狱 洗清罪名
We have to break out of prison and clear our names.
好耶 外星难民们要策划越狱了
Hooray! The Solar Opposites are staging a breakout!
-噗噗 起床了没 -起了
- Pupa, you up? - Yes!
噗噗万岁
Pupa!
-好极了 -好耶
- Yes! - Yes!
行了 警♥察♥来抓我们了 肖申克的环节到此结束
Alright, the cops are after us. That's enough Shawshank-ing.
等等 这些是什么鬼东西
Wait, what the hell are these?
天哪 不
Oh god. Oh no.
你们已经被包围了
We've got you surrounded!
举起手走出来
Come out with your hands up!
快点 科尔沃 我们拿上东西赶快逃
Come on , Korvo! Let's grab our stuff and get out of here!
不 不 不 看看这些缎带 这些证书
No, no, no! Look at the ribbons! And the certificates!
看看他妈的这些奖杯
Look at the fucking trophies!
我还以为你并没有赢过肋排大赛
But I thought you didn't win any rib contests?
我们肯定都清除了记忆
We all must have erased our minds.
我们确实对彼得做过那些可怕的事情
We did do all that horrible stuff to Pete.
天哪 我们是怪物
Oh god. We're monsters!
不可能 我们总是用高科技的东西来帮助别人
No way, we're always using sci-fi stuff to help people!
不 我们不是 我们是卑鄙的懦夫
No, we don't. We're cowards and sneaky shits
只知道用高科技来让我们的生活变得舒适
who use sci-fi to make our lives easier.
没有人陷害我们 我们真的是可怕的人类
No one was setting us up, we really just are horrible people,
我是说 外星人
I mean, aliens.
里面的人听好了 这是最后的警告
Guys, this is your final warning
再不出来就要突突突了
before things get all pew-pew-pew.
等等 什么 人们不会理解
Wait, what? People don't get tha--
好吧 阐明一下
Okay, just to be clear,
突突突是指我们要用枪向你们发射子弹
pew-pew-pew means we're gonna be shooting bullets out of guns,
而不是星战激光枪
not Star Wars lasers.
你们听懂了 对吧
You guys got that, right?
听着 我们确实有罪
Look, we're guilty of a lot,
但我们可以为对彼得的行为付出代价
but we can pay the price for Peter.
我们得出去接受逮捕 回到监狱里去
We have to let ourselves get arrested and go back to prison.
好耶 外星难民们要承担责任了
Hooray! The Solar Opposites are taking responsibility!
不要开枪 我们出来了
Don't shoot, we-we-we-we're coming out.
不要开枪枪
Hold your pew-pews!
雪莉日快乐
市场
-蒂姆 -搞什么
- Tim! - What the hell?
浩克·侯根姆 你来这里干什么
Halk Hogam, what are you doing here?
我们需要谈谈
We need to talk!
没问题 为墙国一战英雄 我什么都愿意
Of course, anything for a hero of Wall War I.
别听他的 蒂姆 他疯了
Don't listen to him, Tim. He's gone crazy.
他想毁了雪莉日
He's trying to ruin Cherie Day!
我抓住了真正的杀人犯
I've caught the real murderer.
他声称他是什么跑腿的 会跑到墙外去
He claims he's some kind of runner who goes outside the Wall
找芹菜棒和口香糖
for celery sticks and gum.
他说你和守墙人会保护他
He says you and the Walldermen protect him.
什么 你们告诉我是只蟋蟀干的
What the hell? You told me it was a cricket.
他们也是这么骗我的
That's the line they were trying to feed me, too.
所以是这个人在恐袭我的乌托邦
So this is the man who's been terrorizing my utopia?
没错 你们两个混♥蛋♥
Yes. You assholes,
告诉过你们蒂姆想要公平正义了
I told you Tim would want justice!
我亲爱的伊森 你本该协助我的
My sweet Ethan. You're supposed to help me.
-你干了什么 蠢货 -等等 什么
- What did you do, you stupid boy? - Wait, what?
我一直在尽力让墙国更美好
I've been making the Wall a better place for all of us!
你早就知道
You knew?
我认识伊森很久了
I've known Ethan for a long time.
没错 是有一个洞
And yes, there is a hole in the Wall.
一个通往外界的洞
There is a way out.
-老天 -伊森帮我跑腿
- My god. - Ethan does runs for me.
他通过公爵建立的系统找来药品和食物
He gets medicine, food, using a system the Duke set up.
但我不知道他在杀人
But I didn't know he was killing people.
我只是在行使我作为神的意愿
I was just exerting my will as a god!
你们能告诉他吗 我是神
Hey, would you tell him, you guys, that I'm a god?
你们知道他在做这种事
You guys knew this was happening?
我们以为你会希望我们这样做
We were just doing what we thought you would want.
我们不想让你知道真♥相♥
We wanted to shield you from the truth
这样你就能专注于领导大家
so you could focus on leading us all.
你们做的事与我们抗争的一切相悖
What you've done goes against everything we've fought for!
但我知道你们的心都是善良的
But I know your hearts are in the right place.
-我不会惩罚你们 -什么
- I won't punish you. - What?
墙国的规矩不是这样的
That's not the way of the Wall.
不行 不能放过他们
Fuck no! They can't just walk away!
-谢谢您 蒂姆 -谢谢您的慈悲
- Thank you, Tim. - Thank you for your mercy, Tim.
但是 伊森 我们要把你关起来
But, Ethan, we have to lock you up.
这是为了你好 孩子
It's for your own good, my son.
你不能把我关起来
You can't lock me up!
因为我只会逃走 然后杀了你们所有人
'Cause I'll just escape and I'll kill all of you!
因为我是神
Because I am a god.
浩克 拜托 让守墙人带走伊森吧
Halk, please let Ethan go with the Walldermen.
我向你保证 他不会再伤害其他人了
You have my word: he won't hurt anyone else.
带他去监狱
Take him to the holding chamber.
我能从任何地方逃走
I can get out of anything.
我命令你释放我
I command you to release me!