外星也难民

我需要更多转推 不然霍利斯特就不会要我
I need more retweets or I'll never get hired at Hollister.
你的简历第一条就要写上你的影响力
Your Klout goes at the top of your rezzie, brah.
你有看到我今天发了什么吗 "加菲猫做♥爱♥"
Did you see what I posted today? "Garfield fucks!"
但只有三个人转发
But I only got three fucking retwats.
你得给我找一批机器人水军
You gotta spot me for a bot army--
我知道你会说什么
I know what you're gonna say.
你不该再缩小人了
That you shouldn't be shrinking people down anymore?
他活该
He deserved it.
嗯 没错 他就是个傻子
Yeah, he did. He was a real yutz.
等等 你对墙的事没意见了吗
Wait, you aren't all freaked out about the Wall stuff anymore?
监督你就像是第二份工作
Eh, policing you is like a whole second job.
今年 我要专注于让我开心的事
This year, I'm focusing on what makes me happy.
我要考取我的房♥产经纪人执照
I'm getting my realtor's license.
你确定之后你不会抱怨吗
You're sure you're not gonna be on my ass about this later?
我只是不敢相信你还在缩小人
I just can't believe you're still shrinking people down.
-累不累啊 -我不觉得
- It's tired. - Not to me.
这是我最爱的一部分
It's my favorite part of our whole thing.
他们在里面打仗
They had an awesome little war in there.
-我要继续做下去 -随便了
- Ah, I'm gonna keep doing it. - Whatevs.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
直到被小行星撞上
Until the asteroid hit.
一百个成人以及他们的复♥制♥人分到了一只噗噗
One hundred adults and their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃往了太空
and escaped into, uh, the space,
在杳无人迹的世界里寻找新家
searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们坠落在地球上 困在了一个已经人口过密的星球
We crashed on Earth, stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
是的 一直是我在说话
That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
抱着噗噗的人是我 我叫科尔沃
I'm the one holding the Pupa. My name's Korvo.
这是我的节目 我的噗噗掉了 你看到我了吗
This is-this is my show. I just dropped the Pupa. Do you see me?
这太荒唐了
This is ridiculous.
我讨厌地球 这是个糟糕的家园
I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人类笨死了
People are stupid.
有的动物是宠物 但他们吃动物
Some animals are pets, but they-they eat animals,
他们不吃的动物 就被训练打篮球
and other animals they don't eat, they train them to play basketball.
就像飞狗巴迪
like Air Bud Dog.
为什么不能什么动物都吃
How come you can't just eat any animal.
外星也难民
第二季 第二集
特里 过来 你的薯条因为熵在丢失热量
Terry, get down here. Your fries are losing heat due to entropy.
你可以把那些薯条扔了
Man, you can throw those fries up a butt.
-我不需要 -你衬衣怎么不扎进去
- I don't need 'em. - What's with the untucked shirt?
你觉得你比我们高端吗
You think you're fancier than us?
是啊 所以我才要去参加一场华丽的晚宴
Yeah, man. That's why I'm going to a fabulous dinner party.
-怎么没人问我 -什么 我没被邀请
- Why wasn't I asked? - What? I didn't get invited.
也许是因为你们讨厌人 派对和出门
Uh, maybe because you guys hate people, parties, and going outside,
而且你们都没有带纽扣的衬衣
plus you don't even have button-down shirts.
还是希望有人邀请
Still nice to be asked.
你和我好久没出去玩过了
You and I haven't had a night out in a long time.
上次还是我们去露天剧场的星际传奇2歌♥唱聚会
Not since we went to that Chronicles of Riddick singalong at the Bowl.
什么鬼 你也要去
What the hell, you're going too?
我要去见一些有钱的老头
I'm going to meet some rich old guys
让他们离开他们老婆 去搞点"黑镜"那种情节
and get them to leave their wives for some hot Black Mirror action.
但我费了好大力才从Hulu烤野猪宴定到的这些
But I slaved away ordering all this from Hulu Luau.
你想要浪费掉一整只烤猪和这些喷火魔杖吗
You wanna waste a whole roasted pig and these fire wands?
抱歉 我和噗噗今晚要表演
Sorry. Me and the Pupa are performing tonight.
我们是音乐组合
We are a musical dyad.
作为团队领袖 我应该参与所有事
As team leader, I should be included in all things,
所以我要求邀请我们所有人去参加这次晚宴
which I why I demand that we all be invited to this dinnering party.
不行 这么晚了我不能再加个伴 更别说两个了
No! I-I can't add a plus one so late in the day, let alone a plus two.
那我就激活地球消灭仪
Then I will activate the Earth Eraser,
让我们都化成尘埃
and we can all get turned into dust.
一切物质都会成为微粒
All matter will be atomized
-5 4 3 -好 老天
- in five, four, three... - Okay. Jesus fucking Christ,
-我把你们加进名单了 -两秒半
- I added you to the RSVP. - two and a half...
-两秒 -你让我不能自♥由♥行事
- two-- - You've sufficiently cramped my style.
很好 我们要在一小时后出发
Good. We shall leave in an hour.
我得在我衣服下所有地方
I need to apply darker blue makeup
抹点深蓝色化妆品
to... everywhere under my robe.
我们得扔掉地球消灭仪
Man, we gotta throw out that Earth Eraser.
有种试试 贱♥人♥
Try and die, bitch.
我的衬衣看着还行吗 露出来的够多了吗
D-d-does my shirt look okay? Is-is-is it untucked enough?
嗯 淡定
Yeah, man. Relax.
不过记住 在里面别做自己
But remember, don't be yourself in there.
这些人想要你玩得开心
These people want you to have a good time.
闭嘴 我知道
Shut up! I know that.
闻闻我的皮诺
Smell my peen!
他们在布鲁克林的
They grow the grapes in Brooklyn
蒙台梭利幼儿园里面种葡萄
in the middle of a Montessori preschool.
嗯 闻起来像红酒
Uh, yes, smells like, uh, wine.
恭喜你们采购到瓶子
Uh, uh, congratulations on your procurement of-of the bottle.
红酒 谁会叫绿点皮诺"红酒"
Wine? Who calls a Greenpoint Pinot "wine"?
他说笑的
Oh, man, ah, he's just kidding.
科尔沃绝不会这么做
Korvo would never do that.
这是来自布鲁克林的 布鲁克林
It's from Brooklyn. Brooklyn!
-布鲁克林 -布鲁克林
- Brooklyn? - Brooklyn!
从没去过布鲁克林 但我曾在
Never been to Brooklyn, but I-I-I once chased
木星的卫星上追逐过一个机械人
a mechanoid around Jupiter's moons.
真奇葩 没人在乎
What a weird thing to say. Nobody cares about that.
我们在说布鲁克林
We're talking about Brooklyn.
是你要求来的
You're the one who demanded to come.
你能好歹努力社交点吗
Could you at least try to be social?
我在努力了
I am trying.
布鲁克林 布鲁克林
Brooklyn! Brooklyn!
你好 我叫米娅 欢迎来到墙国
Hi there. I'm Mia. Welcome to the Wall.
你好 我叫米娅
Hola, me llamo Mia.
欢迎来到墙国
Bienvenidos a la Pared.
-我说英语的 -好极了
- Um, I speak English. - Oh, goody!
我是墙国迎宾者 喝点新鲜的柠檬水吗
I'm the Wall Greeter. Fresh lemonade?
-这里什么情况 -没事的
- What is going on here? - Shh! It's okay.
我知道这看起来难以接受
I know it seems overwhelming,
但你一点都不用害怕
but you have nothing to be afraid of.
一个外星小男孩把你缩小后
An alien boy shrank you down
把你放到了他卧室墙里藏着的玻璃容器内
and put you in a terrarium he keeps hidden in his bedroom wall.
-什么鬼 -我们的世界曾经是个很糟糕的地方
- What the fuck! - Our world used to be a terrible place,
满是暴♥力♥与饥饿
full of violence and starvation.
墙内被划分为不同层级 皆由一个残酷的独♥裁♥者控制
The Wall was divided into levels, all run by a cruel dictator
公爵
The Duke.
然后蒂姆 一个英勇无畏的战士领导着抵抗军
But then, Tim, a brilliant, fearless warrior led a resistance
奋起反抗公爵的统治
that rose up against The Duke.
那是血腥残酷的一战
They fought a bloody war.
那晚我们失去了许多挚友
We lost many friends that evening.
但也涌现了一大批英雄
But we also gained heroes.
我们需要感谢许多人的牺牲
We have many to thank for their sacrifices,
但没有人的牺牲能重于雪莉
but none more than Cherie,
她在斩杀公爵的过程中献出了生命
who lost her life slaying The Duke.
很快 我们就会举办第一届雪莉日来纪念她
We're going to celebrate her with the first annual Cherie Day soon.
到时会有盛宴与游♥行♥ 而且每个人都能舔一口
There's a feast and a parade, and everyone gets one lick
我们巨大的方糖块
of our giant sugar cube.
你们在这儿有一整个世界吗
You people have a whole world in here?
没错 你也会有的
Yes. And you will too.
要把这想成是开始新生活的一次机会
Look at this as a chance for a brand-new life.
你一直梦想的工作是什么
What have you always dreamed of doing?
我想我一直都渴望设计服装
Um, I guess I've always wanted to design clothes.
天哪 我从来没有把它大声说出来过
Oh, my god, I've never said that out loud before.
完美 那我来给你下第一份订单吧
Perfect! Let me put in your first order.
我需要为雪莉日准备一条裙子
I need a dress for Cherie Day.
我大概有一个半软糖高
I'm about a jellybean and a half tall.
-唐娜·兰利 -特里 过来
- Donna Langley! - Hey, Terry, come here.
我们在玩内行人才懂的好莱坞管理层名人竞猜游戏
We're playing inside baseball Hollywood executive Celebrity.
太简单了
Too easy.
大卫·内文斯 得了吧 加大难度好吗
David Nevins. Come on. Let's take the bumpers off.【】
-雅姆莱克 轮到你了 -来吧
- Yumyulack, you're up. - And go.