外星也难民

你确定我们没有陷得太深吗
Are you sure we aren't getting in over our head?
是的 我们绝对陷太深了
Oh yeah. We definitely are.
美国航♥空♥吗 麻烦订一张前往夏威夷区域赛的机票
American Airlines? One ticket to Regionals in Hawaii please.
您能接受经济舱吗
Are you okay with coach?
-我能接受啥 -经济舱[教练]
- Am I okay with what? - Coach?
是的 我是教练也是校长
Yes, I am the coach and the principal.
不是的 我是说经济舱[市场经济]
Uh, no, I mean economy.
我们都知道经济现在蓬勃发展
We all know the economy's great,
但你不能坑我买♥♥贵票
but you're not talking me into an expensive ticket.
我们重头来过 直达吗[一口气]
Let's start over. Nonstop?
好的
Wow, okay.
麻烦要一张前往区预赛的最好的座位
One ticket to regionals in your finest seat please.
用一张尾号♥7624信♥用♥卡♥支付
I'd like to pay with a credit card ending in 7624.
我就直接帮你升到头等舱 对话到此为止
I'm just going to put you in first class to end this conversation.
屡试不爽
Works every time.
那肿土豆肯定另有所图 我的土墩能感觉到
That swole tomato's up to something, I can feel it in my mound.
我们要防患于未然
We need to be ready for an attack.
我现在去吃下一半的自杀药片
I'm going to take half my suicide pills now
然后留下另一半等他折磨我们的时候吃
and save the other half for when he tortures us.
如果你是个女童子军 现在坦白
If you're a Girl Scout, say it now,
我还是会射杀你的
and I will still shoot you.
-我是珍 -请别杀我们
‐ It's Jen! ‐ Please don't kill us!
想都没想过 不好意思我不请自来
Not even! Sorry for dropping by unannounced,
我非常需要请你们帮个忙
I just really need to ask you guys for a favor.
让我猜猜 你想让我们互相射穿对方的喉咙
Let me guess, you want us to shoot ourselves through our throats?
你做梦
Well, fat chance!
不是的 我想知道你们愿不愿意参加我们的婚礼
Uh, no. I‐I was wondering if you two would come to our wedding?
是陷阱 特里 快跑
It's a trap, Terry, run!
别 等等 疙比不知道我在这
No, stop. Gooby doesn't know I'm here.
你们虽非他的亲人 却胜似亲人
You guys are the closest thing he has to family.
如果你们能来参加婚礼
If you came to our wedding,
可能能使他释怀过往
it might let him finally make peace with his past.
参加一个红色疙瘩小人的婚礼
Attend a Red Goobler wedding?
想都别想
Ha. No fucking way.
听着 只要那疙瘩小人
Listen, as long as that
生命中有其他东西
goobler's got something else in his life,
他就不会想挖出你的眼睛 拉在你的嘴里了
he won't be trying to cut out your eyes and shit in your mouth.
你说得有点道理 算是你一年一度的好主意
You might have a point. Your annual one good idea.
瞎说 上周我就有过一个好主意 记得吗
Nuh‐uh, I had a good idea last week! Remember?
为了我们的兄弟会筹集资金 我去卖♥♥派
I raised money for our frat by selling pies,
但在派的烤盘下面藏了一张
but the bottom of the pie tin had a naked picture
阿尔法·贝塔女朋友们的裸照
of the Alpha Beta's girlfriends?
那是我们派畅销的原因啊 卖♥♥派的事 还记得吗
That's why we sold so many pies? The whole pie thing? Remember?
我会参加你们的婚礼
I will attend your ceremony,
以此欺骗红色疙瘩小人让他开心
to trick the Red Goobler into being happy
这样他就不会伤害我了
so he won't hurt me anymore.
好吧 但你们俩在婚礼上能别这么奇怪吗
Fine, but can you also not be this weird at the wedding?
我妈妈会去而且
My mom's gonna there and‐‐
闭嘴 眼下只有一个问题
Shut up. There's only one problem:
你太平平无奇了 没法满足红色疙瘩小人
you're far too basic to keep Red Goobler satisfied.
如果你们俩分手
And if you break up,
他会比以前更危险
he'll become more dangerous than ever before.
我和一个疙瘩小人订婚了 你找不到更独特的了
I'm engaged to a goobler. I'm as not basic as they come.
你的名字叫珍 非常路人了
Your name is Jen, you're very forgettable.
你去哪购物 T·J·迷你吗[T·J·Maxx美国百货]
Where do you shop, T. J. Minimum?
没错他现在是爱着你 但万一他厌烦你了
Sure he loves you now, but once he's sick of you
我们现在对你的感觉这样 就又回到猎杀我的时候了
like we already are, it's back to hunting me!
我开始明白为什么红这么讨厌你了
I'm starting to understand why Red hates you.
-搞什么 -快点 特里
- What the hell? ‐ Quick, Terry,
快去拿那把狂拽炫酷的Rat镭射枪
go grab the Rat Awesome Terrific Ray!
这就去
On it!
鼠枪
特里 救我
Terry, help!
这个露露乐檬烂俗婊
This Lululemon basic ho is
在用最无聊的方式揍我
kicking my ass in the most boring way possible!
用那把炫酷镭射枪打她
Shoot her with the Rad Awesome Terrific Ray!
你说的是啥
What the hell is that!
别动
Hold still,
这个射线会让你不同凡响 可能还会有别的
this ray's gonna make you terrific and some other stuff.
你敢用那玩意儿射我试试看 我会告你
Don't you dare shoot me with that! I'll sue you!
随着时间推移她变得越来越俗
She's getting basic‐er by the second!
给我
Give me that.
你用错枪了 这是老鼠枪
You used the wrong ray! This is the Rat Ray!
我们需要的是RAT枪
We needed the R‐A‐T Ray.
就在那儿 你个傻子
It's right there, you idiot.
-不识字吗你 -我肯定识字啊
- Can't you read? ‐ Of course I can.
他不会
He can't.
你为什么要按首字母排列他们
Why would you put them in order of first letter?
-这是字母顺序啊 特里 -天啊 那是什么意思
- It's alphabetical, Terry! ‐ Oh my god. What does that mean?
糟了 快抓住她 抓住她
Ahh! ‐ Shit! Grab her, grab her!
我的天 特里
Oh my god, Terry,
如果我们不能及时让她变回来参加婚礼
if we don't get her back in time for the wedding,
红色疙瘩小人肯定会找我们算账的
the Red Goobler will hunt us for sure!
去你的 我会找到她然后让她从老鼠变回人的
Fuck! Okay, okay, okay, I'll find her and de‐rat her
同时 你得去分散红色疙瘩小人的注意力
while you keep the Red Goobler distracted.
出来吧 珍
Come out, Jen.
我们可以去咖啡厅
We can go to a coffee shop
是墙上画着翅膀的那种
that has a painting of wings on a wall,
你可以在那凹造型 很好玩的
you can pose in front of it, so fun.
给我滚出来
Get the fuck out here!
冰淇淋时间
Ice cream break.
我想要音速小子玩偶形状的冰淇淋
I want a Sonic pop.
不是推特逼他们做的最新款 是原先那款
Not the new design Twitter bullied them into. The original!
算了 那太复杂了
Oh no, that's too complicated.
给我第一部电影里第二个出现的忍♥者神龟形状的
Give me a Ninja Turtle pop from the second of the first movies
不是动画片里面的
but not from the cartoons!
该死该死 老鼠珍 别走
Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Rat Jen, no!
结账 快 要走了
Ring me up! Come on, let's go.
忍♥者神龟 快追 快
Go, ninja! Go, ninja, go!
欢迎来到拉斯维加斯 内华达州的极乐之地
欢迎参加你的单身派对
Welcome to your bachelor party!
红一个月之前已经参加过了
Red already had one of these a month ago.
我们在尼加拉瓜建了一所孤儿院
We built an orphanage in Nicaragua.
该死 坦纳 你老是"削价"竞争
Goddammit, Tanner! You're always undercutting me.
你算哪根葱
Who are you?
我就是花钱包下顶楼高级套房♥的土豪葱
I'm the guy who dropped mucho shekels on a penthouse suite.
这绝不是为了分散你们的注意力
And not to distract you from anything,
只是因为我热情好客
only because I love hospitality.
这太难以置信了 科尔沃 谢谢你
Oh, that's amazing, Korvo! Thank you!
这就像美梦成真一样
This is a dream come true.
自从我看过《婚礼傲客》之后
Ever since I saw Wedding Crashers,
我就想要一个宿醉主题的告别单身派对
I've wanted to have a Hangover‐themed bachelor party.
这是你的盛大之夜啊 宝贝
It's your big night, baby.
喝个痛快
Hangover stuff!
这是红色疙瘩小人把地♥产♥卖♥♥给珍一家
This is the last night before Red Goobler sells his land
用以交换珍许久未用的子♥宫♥前的最后一个夜晚
to Jen's family in exchange for her dusty womb.
我们要让今晚永远难忘
Let's make it one to remember!
好 让我先跟珍报备一下
Hell yeah! Let me just check in with Jen,
然后我们就可以开始打--
and then we can hit the fl‐‐
不准用电♥话♥ 兄弟 这是单身派对的规矩
No phones, bro! Bachelor party rules!
让我们参照《夺宝奇兵》系列的时间顺序来吧
Let's hit the strip Indiana Jones passage of time style!
人人都来吸一口可♥卡♥因♥
Cocaine for everyone!
真爽
Oh yeah.
区域赛跟我想的一模一样
Wow. Regionals is everything I thought it would be.
行了 你们两个猥琐的外星人 如果你们赢了
Alright, you filthy fucking aliens, if you guys win,
我们就能去享受夏威夷美女了
we're gonna be drowning in Hawaiian pussy.
给我好好比赛
Do this for me.
我的天 这里人也太多了
Oh no, oh man. There are so many people here.
我们肯定会被识破的
We're gonna get caught for sure.
我会把作弊装置往回拨
Okay, look, I'll dial back the Cheater device.
这样的话 我们就能输掉比赛
That way, we can compete but still lose.