外星也难民

也许他们会想来一次黄金大战
Hey, maybe they'll want to have a gold fight!
别给我丢脸 不准散发黄金
Guys, don't embarrass me! No giving out gold!
这太棒了 我们能吃一周的垃圾了
This is amazing! We're gonna be eating trash for a week!
我没看到任何塔拉士兵
I didn't see any Terran soldiers,
我们应该是避开了侦查
I think we avoided detection.
一个想法 也许他们没有在猎捕你们
Uh-uh-uh, just a thought, but maybe they aren't hunting you?
才怪 你这像是喜欢人类才会说的话
Yeah, right, that sounds like human lover talk.
科尔沃 要不在我们开始前
Hey, Korvo, why don't you
给我们背诵下神圣数字
recite the holy number before we dig in?
我的荣幸
Oh, it's an honor!
Eight, seven, five.
0 0然后是 4
Z-zero... uh... it's zero and then... f-four?
不对 3 抱歉
No, three. I'm sorry,
我好久没说过神圣数字了
I-I haven't said the holy number for a while.
你在家不说吗
What, you don't say it at home?
当然要 只是 让我想想
Of course I do, it's just-L-let me think.
Eight, seven, four--
不对 5 7
No, five, seven--
-你听上去像是幼儿 -4 4 4 4
- You sound like a sproutling! - "Fuh-fuh-fuh four?"
这是串不重复的数字
It's a non-repeating number.
你真的被同化了
Oh, you really have gone native.
不 我是这个团队里的特里吗 不 这不可能
Oh no. Am I the "Terry" Of this team? No, that's impossible.
你是在像电视剧主角一样自言自语吗
Are you narrating to yourself like you're the star of a TV show?
天 我真的成了特里了
Oh god, I am the Terry!
杰茜 我们的钱放哪了
Jesse! Where do we keep money?
我们因为买♥♥番茄酱有一堆外卖♥♥账单
We have a huge Postmates bill from ordering all those ketchup packets.
不能用黄金机吗
Can't we just use the gold machine?
你怎么了 中毒了吗
Whoa, whoa, what's, what's with you, are you poisoned?
那狗好费神 我完全没睡
Ugh, the dog is so high maintenance, I didn't sleep at all.
不
Noooo!
它觉得我是玩具
It thinks I'm a toy.
可我不是
But I'm not.
我只是看着像
I just look like one!
这东西成了黄金了
Aw, man, the whole thing just turned to gold!
我现在要怎么制♥造♥黄金
How am I supposed to make gold now?
破玩意
Stupid piece of crap.
我是Postmates[外卖♥♥公♥司♥]的安德鲁
Hey! This is Andrew from Postmates!
你欠我五万块
You owe me fifty thousand dollars!
他们什么时候开始对收费这么严的
When did they get so intense about billing?
现在很难搞副业
Turns out it's actually pretty hard to get your side hustle on.
没有科尔沃
Ugh, without Korvo here to
帮我们修黄金机或者抗争我们的债主
fix our gold machine or fight our creditors,
我可能必须得找个工作
I guess I gotta find a job.
顾客进来 挑选他们的饼干
The customer comes in, they pick their cookie,
挑选奶油酱 你称重 然后收钱
they pick their ookie, you weigh it, then you charge 'em.
我什么时候能拿到钱
Yeah, when do I get paid?
月底 但是在关门前你可以吃免费的奶油酱
End of the month, but, but you get free ookie after closing
因为如果不用的话就会变硬
'cause it gets crusty if we don't use it.
别拿饼干 你们得付钱
Hey, stop limping the biscuits! You have to pay for that!
卡布洛尼斯 我能跟你谈谈吗
K-Kabronius, c-can I talk to you for a second?
当然 科尔沃 怎么了
Well, of course, Korvo, what's up?
我想要这个团队承认我是一个专注的什洛普星人
I-I-I want this team to accept me as a dedicated Shlorpian.
有什么我可以干的活吗 需要飞船维修工吗
Is there any role I can fill? D-d-do you need a ship repair guy?
我们需要一个噗噗专家
What we need is a Pupa specialist.
你的噗噗呢 我可以试试 我能做到
Oh. Where's your Pupa? I-I-I could try that. I-I could do that.
我们没有
We don't have one.
它怎么了
W-what happened to it?
我们从一开始就没有
We never had one to begin with.
我们在它们被完全设计出来前就走了
We left before they were fully designed.
富人干什么都不用等
Rich people don't wait for anything.
你们逃离家园的时候没有被分配噗噗吗
You weren't assigned a Pupa when you escaped the home world?
是的 我们跟你们程序不太一样
No, it went a little differently for us.
什洛普星曾是个完美的乌托邦
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia.
一些什洛普星人是劳力 生来干活被奴役
Some Shlorpians were workers, bred for duty and servitude.
什么 是吗
What? We were?
另一些则是隐秘的统治阶级
Others were an unseen ruling class
全是有钱悠闲的瘾君子
of wealthy leisure addicts.
我们这些有钱富外星人们早在小行星撞击一个月前
Us rich aliens were given a heads-up about the asteroid
就知道了这个消息
about a month before it hit.
我们先买♥♥好了昂贵的飞船 提前很早就跑了
We bought expensive ships and left way, way, way in advance.
我们降落到了一个已经人口稠密的星球
We landed on an already populated planet
等着噗噗组来改造星球
and have been waiting for one of the Pupa crews to terraform it
以便我们能重新过上富人的生活
so we can get back to being rich.
我从来没听说过富有又不用工作的什洛普星人
I've never heard of rich, non-working Shlorpians.
所以效果才那么好
That's why it worked so great.
既然你们没有噗噗 要噗噗专家干什么
If you don't have a Pupa, then why do you need a specialist?
我们需要一只噗噗
We need a Pupa.
特里被地球同化了 他不会是个好的监护者
Terry's clearly gone native, he can't be a good guardian.
噗噗能跟真正的什洛普星人一起改造新的星球
I mean, wouldn't the Pupa be happier with true Shlorpians,
它也会更开心的
terraforming a fresh planet?
听起来确实是这样
It does sound better.
我们希望你去救出你们的噗噗
We want you to rescue your Pupa,
把它带回来 这样我们就能迎接新生活了
bring it to us, so we can have a new life.
新的什洛普生活
A new Shlorpian life.
我同意 首先我们要给飞船做个噗噗防护
I-I'll do it. First, we must Pupa-proof the ship.
它喜欢用自己的肿块捅插座
He likes to stick his nub in sockets.
所有蓝色的东西它都吃
He will eat anything that's blue.
我讨厌在奶油酱饼干店上班
Man, I hate working at Ookie Cookie.
在那上班实在是有失身分
It is way more demeaning than the name implies.
这件波·达默龙睡衣都快臭了
And these Poe Dameron jammies are starting to stink.
我觉得这只巴塞特猎犬讨厌我
I think the basset hound hates me.
它逼着我戴这个项圈
It makes me wear this collar
还总是把我埋到后院里
and keeps burying me in the backyard.
我知道了
That's it!
如果我们穿着和行为都模仿科尔沃的话
Okay, look. If we dress and act like Korvo,
也许我们就能照顾好自己了
maybe we'll be better at taking care of ourselves.
就是说我们要修理飞船然后抱怨个不停吗
So we have to repair the ship and complain a lot?
你刚才为什么说 "我知道了"
Why did you say "That's it"?
我想到什么的时候都会说这句话
Oh, it's just always what I say when I think of something.
来干活吧
Let's get to work.
科尔沃这时候会说什么
Okay, what would Korvo say?
特里 别傻不拉几地嘬麦片了
"Terry! Stop sucking on cereal and having fun!"
不可能 你又不是我爹 照我说的去做
'No way, you're not my dad." "Do what I fuckin' say!"
-我回自己房♥间去了 -我讨厌这么做
- "I'll be in my room!" - I hate this.
没错 这句很像科尔沃会说的话
There you go, now you're sounding like Korvo.
我的酷朋友们都迟到三个小时了
All my cool friends are three hours late.
我好像给错他们地址了
I think I gave them the wrong address!
我要带上探酷器去找到他们
I'm taking the Yeet Detector and going out to find them.
特里本来就不喜欢照顾噗噗
Terry hates dealing with the Pupa anyway.
他也会很高兴的
He's going to be so happy.
特里
电♥话♥拨通中
特里 为什么我得用极速视频跟你联络
Terry? W-why did I have to BoostTime you?
你是转成了极速移♥动♥吗
Did you sign up with Boost Mobile?
是 这是你离开之后我们犯的众多错误之一
Yes, it's just one of many mistakes we've made since you left!
科尔沃 我们搞砸了 我们需要你 也很想你
Korvo, we messed up. We really need you and miss you,
我担心我就要被一条狗吃掉了
and I'm afraid I'm going to get eaten by a dog.
哪来的狗 我说过家里不让养狗的
What dog? I-I told you no dogs in the house
除非我摸索出怎么让它彻底服从我
until I figure out how to make them see me as the alpha!
你们都穿着礼服吗
Are you guys wearing ceremonial garb?
求求你回来吧 你之前说的都是对的
Please come home. You were right. You were right!
我们会好好表现的 科尔沃 我们想你
We'll be better, Korvo! We miss you!
你们真的想我吗
You really miss me?
如果我真的回去了 你们不会
And if I came home, you wouldn't shame me
因为我不知道神圣的不重复数字而取笑我
for not knowing the sacred non-repeating number?
不会 你说的那是什么东西
No. What the fuck are you talking about?
不会笑话你 我们需要你
No, we need your help.
没有你我们就是垃圾
We're pieces of shit without you!
你们能承认错误 恳求我帮助
Wow. Admitting you're wrong, begging me to help,
说自己是垃圾
calling yourselves pieces of shit,
这就是我一直以来想要的
this is what I've always wanted!
我马上回去 保持悲催的状态
I'll be home soon, stay miserable!