外星也难民

我不知道这他妈是谁
I don't know who the fuck this is.
跳过 下一个
Pass and go to the next one.
好 这个人的名字听起来像个恶魔
Okay, uh, this person's name sounds like a demon.
他们重新在DVD上刻电视剧了吗
Did they reinvent TV on DVD?
你没听说过道格·赫尔佐格吗
You didn't know Doug Herzog?
蝙蝠侠
Batman
听着 我们得到了许多掌声
Look, we got a lot of applause out there,
但那全是无偿的
but it was 100 percent gratuitous.
我不想对我们俩中的薄弱一环指指点点
I don't wanna point fingers at the weak link here,
但你的水平实在是差远了
but you were way off.
争气一点 小噗噗
Get your shit together, Pupes!
我们他妈怎么会知道黛比·莉布林这个人
How the fuck were we supposed to know Debbie Liebling?
不如来玩点我们母星的名人竞猜怎么样
How about we play Celebrities from the home world, huh?
我先来一个 发明了加热粘液的什洛普人
Here's one. This Shlorpian invented heated goo?
-泽尔加 -好极了 我们得一分
- Uh, uh-- Zelgar. - Yes! Point for us.
这场派对两秒钟前开始变得逊爆了
Uh, this party just got real lame about two seconds ago.
没错 我觉得就是从克雷格开始解释
Yeah, I think it was when Craig started to
大卫·西蒙·南瓜的梗那一刻开始的
explain the David S. Pumpkins sketch.
汤姆·汉克斯在周六夜现场的短剧中人物
科尔沃 你们还是离开这儿比较好
Korvo, man, uh, how about you guys just go on and get out of here.
你们有点毁了这里的气氛
You're, uh, kinda ruining the vibe.
你确定是我们毁了气氛
We're ruining the vibe?
你没听到杰米想要模仿火车的声音吗
Did you not hear Jamie try to do his impression of a train?
听好了 你赶快给他道歉
Look, you apologize to him right now!
你们都滚去地狱里闻黑皮诺葡萄酒吧
You can all go smell peen in hell!
你怎么敢这么说话
How dare you!
好的黑皮诺葡萄可不能在那种温度下生长
A good peen would never survive in that heat anyway.
欢迎来到墙国
Hey, welcome to the Wall.
我是史蒂夫 营养学家
I'm Steve, the nutritionist.
这里是你今日份的农产品
Here's your produce for the day.
新鲜的蓝莓和圣女果
Fresh blueberries and cherry tomatoes.
这些棒极了
Wow, these are gorgeous.
这些是我自己用谷物棒上拔♥出♥来♥的种子种的
Well, I grew them myself from seeds we pulled out of a KIND bar.
慢慢享用
Enjoy.
你好 浩克 这是你的营养品
Heya, Halk. Here are you "nutes."
史蒂夫 这些看起来棒极了
Wow, Steve. These look great.
-你真是个园艺高手 -得了吧
- You've really got a green thumb. - Oh, come on.
跟你这样的战争英雄比起来我可不算什么
I'm nothing compared to a war hero like you.
我不喜欢沉湎于那些日子
Oh, well, I don't like to dwell on those days.
我永远不会忘记你从那些彩虹糖下面
Well, I'll never forget how many people
救出了多少人
you pulled out from under those Nerds.
好多我的朋友要不是因为你
So many of my friends who could have died that day
本会在那天死去
are around because of you.
我给你带了些特别的东西
I brought you something special.
史蒂夫用那些谷物棒里的种子真是种出了些好东西
Aw, Steve is really growing the hell out of those KIND bar seeds.
这
This...
这真是墙国内最好的东西了
This is the best thing in the Wall.
那个草莓是这里最好的东西
That strawberry is the best thing in here?
没错 找不到更好的了
Yep. Nothing better.
你的生活中没有比浆果更好的东西吗
Nothing in your life is better than a berry?
我想不出什么别的
Mm. I can't think of anything.
太遗憾了 因为我本来可是想给你这个
Such a shame, 'cause I was gonna give you this.
浩克
Oh, Halk!
我准备了一整段我想如何与世界上最好的女人
I had this whole speech about how I wanna spend the rest of my tiny life
共度余生的演讲
with the woman with the biggest heart.
我愿意 我愿意 我愿意
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
不过我确实挺爱那个草莓的
Although I do love that strawberry.
我讨厌晚宴
I hate dinner parties.
就不能是个大家都觉得我古怪的
Why couldn't that have just been a regular party
常规派对吗
where people think I'm eccentric?
咱们回家把飞船上的DNA熔化器拿来
Let's go home and get that DNA melter from the ship
把他们都熔化成鲜肉布丁
and melt them all into flesh pudding.
不 他们只会再办场晚宴
No, they'll just throw another dinner party
笑话我们用的熔化器不产自布鲁克林
and make fun of us for using a melter that isn't from Brooklyn.
我希望我们能把所有的晚宴都消灭
I wish we could melt all dinner parties
这样就完事儿了
and just be done with it.
司机 带我们去见
Oh, driver, take us to
这个国家最穷最坏的参议员
the poorest, crookedest senator in the country.
如果你能在早上把我们送到那
There's an extra billion dollars in it for you
多给你10亿美元
if you get us there by morning.
明白 小兄弟
You got it, bub.
知道吗 这里曾是我们出租车的天下
You know, we cabbies used to run this city,
-但然后优步... -安静开车给你20亿
but then Uber - Two billion if we go in silence.
你看 优步的问题是他们不在乎自己的司机
See, the thing about Uber is that they don't care about their drivers.
-该死 -他们给司机的钱不够
- Damn it. - And they don't pay 'em enough.
他们得工作5次
They have to work five times...
华盛顿特区
晚宴
工作
法案
晚宴警官
什么
What the--
《真实新闻报》
宣布晚宴非法
鹰嘴豆泥销量暴跌
不
Nooooo!
既然晚宴是违法的
Now that dinner parties are against the law,
我们又是唯一能执法之人
we are the only people that can enforce it.
只有我们再次 要兴奋起来
Right here. Us. So get excited. Get pumped.
我们是精英中的精英
We're the best of the best.
我们要寻找聚会 花哨的摆设 乔迁喜宴
We're looking for get-togethers, white elephants, housewarmings.
如果不是狂欢派对 可能就是犯罪
If it's not a rager, it could be a crime.
看到喝酒水的就拷起来 兄弟们
Drinks and apps? Cuff 'em, boys.
迷你胡萝卜 判3到5年
Infant carrots, that will get you three to five.
再蘸点酱 那就是无期徒刑
Add a dip? You're looking at life.
出发吧
Let's ride.
他们只是在喝酒 似乎合法
They're just having a drink. Seems legit.
看来我们可以离开了
Looks like we can move on.
等下 主人刚从烤箱里拿出一份千层面
Wait! The host just pulled a lasagna from the oven.
冲 冲 冲
Move! Move! Move!
证据
登报纸用 笑一笑
Smile for the papers.
《真实新闻报》
晚宴遭严打
可♥卡♥因♥销量却飙升
《真实新闻报》
谋杀推理派对在宾客发现凶手之前遭搜查
购买♥♥数量可疑的羊奶酪后
犯罪分子遭追踪
看看这些网 我要用来捉人
Check out these nets I got to catch people.
这个大到足以抓两个正常体型的罪犯
This one's big enough to nab two regular-sized perps
或五个素食主义者
or five vegans.
你知道我刚在报纸上看到什么吗
Do you know what I just read in this spinning newspaper?
家庭马戏团还在进行 怎么可能呢
Family Circus is still going. How is that possible?
那些孩子都应该死
All of those kids should be dead.
不 你们两个真是混♥蛋♥
No. That you two are being dicks!
不 特里 我们在做我们的工作
No, Terry, we're doing our jobs.
我告诉过你不要来参加晚宴
I-I told you not to come to the dinner party.
你非要我带你去
You made me bring you.
现在我们只是在维护♥法♥律
And now we're just upholding the law.
很快我们就能滥用武力
And soon we'll get to use excessive force.
不 我们没有 别那样
No, we don't. Stop that.
特里 我建议你远离晚宴
Terry, I recommend you steer clear of dinner parties,
为了你自己好
for your own good.
你吓不到我
You don't intimidate me.
我绝不会考虑停止参加晚宴
I ain't never gonna even think about stop dinner partying.
说话当心 特里 我或许是你的队长
Careful, Terry. I might be your team leader,
但当我戴着这个警徽的时候
but when I'm wearing this badge,
你就是在跟法律说话
you're talking to the law.
好 那我想你还是舔我屁♥股♥吧
Okay. Well, then I guess you better suck my butt,
混♥蛋♥警官
Officer Asshole!
这贱♥人♥到底是谁啊
Who the hell is this slut?
你在背着我表演我们的节目
You're performing our routine behind my back.
派对资讯
外星人和小女孩
在非法派对上的精彩音乐表演
你好 杰茜
Hi, Jesse.
你知道吗 你就用我们无聊的老套路吧
You know what, you can have our boring old routine.
我在靠自己成为明星
I'm going to be a star without you.
再见 杰茜
Bye, Jesse.