小镇滋味

但我还是会报复你们
doesn't mean I'm not gonna get back at you
我妈妈都生病了 你们还派我去买♥♥零食...
for sending me to get snacks when it's my mom who's sick and--
以及...
And--
-沃尔夫医生 怎么回事 -艾瑞克 去拿我的医药包
- Dr. Wolf, what's happening? - Eric, grab my medical bag.
-还是在逗你们 完全没事 -该死 艾比
- Again, kidding. Totally fine. - God, Abby.
你要把我吓出心脏病吗
You trying to give me a heart attack?
我就怀疑你刚是装出来的
I suspected that one was fake.
我不像你们这么天才
I'm not a genius like you guys,
但是药剂要到达大脑
but wouldn't it take a second
难道不是需要一点时间吗...
for my blood to get to my brain and--
-怎么了 -怎么回事...
- What's wrong? - What is this, seriously?
-我这是怎么了 -艾比 艾比
- Seriously, what's happening? - Abby! Abby!
-毒素已经到达了她的大脑 -并没有
- The toxins have reached her brain. - Uh, no. No, they haven't.
我勒个大操
Motherfucker!
-天啊 -艾比 艾比 你听得到吗
- Oh, my God. - Abby? Abby, can you hear me?
-嗯 什么事 -我好恨你
- Yeah, what? - I hate you so much right now.
你也太投入了吧
Your commitment is outstanding.
我们真是无所不用其极
What won't we do?
我不♥穿♥皮草 也不会吃人的菊花
I don't wear fur, and I won't eat people's buttholes.
我们真是好人 应该以我们的名字命名一条街
Yeah, we're great. They should name a street after us.
换方向
Switch.
克莱默家嘉年华泳池派对是今晚吗
Is the Kramers' fiesta pool party tonight?
对 温蒂说他们准备了玛格丽特喷泉
Yes, Wendy said they were getting a margarita fountain.
好开心我们没去而是在干这个
I'm so glad we're doing this instead.
亲爱的
Honey?
你恨不恨我
Do you resent me?
什么
What?
你之前说要用棒球棍打烂我的头
It's just with the whole bashing-my-brains-in-with-a-bat thing,
还说我带她去魔术山是个馊主意
and then calling my excellent Magic Mountain idea stupid,
现在我又害你错过派对...
and now missing the fiesta...
我觉得你恨我
I think you resent me.
我不恨你
I don't resent you.
我只想赶紧拿到塞尔维亚呕吐物然后回家
I just want to get a bucket of Serbian vomit and go home.
也许她得醒来才能吐
Maybe she has to be awake to throw up.
好 那我去倒咖啡
Fine. I'll go make some coffee.
承认吧 你恨我毁了这个家
Admit it! You resent me because I ruined our lives!
希拉 你下来
Sheila, get off of me!
没能去参加派对你很生气 承认吧
You're mad that you're not at the Kramers' party. Admit it.
宝贝 别这样 你开始发狂了
Honey, stop. You're starting to go feral.
我们再去夏威夷毛伊岛还得杀人
We're never gonna get to go to Maui again without killing someone,
也就是说度假还得工作
which means it's gonna be a working vacation.
现如今电子科技这么发达 什么度假都得工作
With technology, every vacation's a working vacation these days.
布拉格古堡 又是一个去不了的地方
Prague Castle! Another place we'll never go!
承认吧 我们无法出去约会
Come on, I've ruined date night
因为去餐厅吃饭的时候
because when we go to a restaurant
我能吃的只有主厨
the only thing I can eat is the chef.
这样我们可以省很多钱
We're saving a lot of money not eating out.
该死
Shit!
你好啊 送盒子的男人
Hello, man with nice box.
你醒了啊 救我
Oh, look who's up. Help me.
我只是不希望你把怨气憋在心里
Look, I just don't want your resentment to build up
到时候以错误的方式发泄出来
and come out in an inappropriate way.
你知道你这话有多讽刺吗
You see the irony in that, right?
好吧 我很生气
All right. I am angry.
我不喜欢杀人 还把尸体塞进冷藏柜
I don't like killing people and stuffing them into freezers,
不喜欢把刚穿合脚的彪马鞋扔掉
and throwing away my Pumas I just broke in
因为上面沾了脑花
because they got brain on them.
我坚持下去的唯一动力
The thing that kept me going
是希望有朝一日生活能恢复正常
was that one day our lives would get back to normal.
可现在没机会了 我不知道自己能否坚持下去
But now that's gone! And I don't know if I can keep doing this.
但我会努力
But I'm gonna try.
因为我永远不会这样做
'Cause I know I'll never do this.
对不起我攻击了你
I'm so sorry I attacked you.
我会超级努力避免刚才的事重演
I'm gonna try super hard to never let that happen again.
好
I'd like that.
我永远会不惜一切维系我们的关系
I'll always do whatever I can to make us work.
我们是县警局的
Sheriff's department.
完了 诺瓦克肯定是报了警
Shit! Novak must've called the police.
天啊 赶紧走吧
Oh, God. Let's get out of here.
我要吐了
I going to be sick.
你先走吧 就差一点了
You go. We're so close.
一切可好 女士
Everything all right in there, ma'am?
-我不想丢下你 -没办法
- I don't wanna leave you. - You have to.
我只是没空关心你 你就攻击我
You attacked me for not being emotionally available.
待会儿警♥察♥来了你会怎样
Imagine what you'd do to a cop.
女士 请开门
Ma'am, open the door.
我们家里见 快走
I'll meet you at home. Go.
女士
Ma'am.
呕吐吧 求你了 我只想要你的呕吐物
Vomit. Please. I just want your vomit.
先生 请离这位女士远一点
Sir, I need you to step away from the woman.
给我两分钟 沃尔夫医生说这是必须的
Just give me two minutes. Dr. Wolf says it's critical!
她的胆汁小哥去度假了
Her bile guy's on vacation!
老天
Jesus!
-你拿到胆汁了吗 -还没有
- Did you get the bile? - Not yet.
你的衣服撕裂了 怎么回事
Your shirt's torn. What happened?
宝贝 我需要你帮我做件事
Honey, I need you to do something for me.
把我绑在地下室
Chain Mommy in the basement.
每段婚姻都会面临挫折
Every marriage has its challenges.
我的也一样
Mine's no different.
我跟希拉结婚25年了
Sheila and I have been together 25 years.
生活变得很程序化
Things were getting a little... routine.
周一看电影 周五去贾婆婆餐厅吃饭
Monday movie night, Friday night date night at Japopo's.
食物不好吃 千万别点蚝
The food wasn't great-- stay away from the clams.
贾婆婆 公公婆婆那个婆婆
J-A-P-O-P-O apostrophe S.
话说回来 几周前 出了一点事
Anyway, a few weeks ago, things started getting a little crazy.
我就不跟你说细节了 总之非常疯狂
I won't bore you with the details, but trust me, really crazy.
很艰难 不只是我
And that was hard. Not just for me.
对全家人来说都很难
For the whole family.
-你不能就这么走掉 -抱歉
- You can't just leave. - I'm sorry.
没有胆汁 而且你父亲被拘捕了
There's no bile, we just got a call your father's been arrested,
如果警方来调查 我不能在这里
and I can't be here if the police come
因为我开了一家生物科技公♥司♥
because I'm the president of a biotech company
而你家冷藏柜里全是尸体
and there are chunks of people in your freezer.
我该怎么办
What am I supposed to do?
你很勇敢也很聪明 我今天看出来了
You're a brave, resourceful girl, Abby. I saw that today.
你会没事的
You'll be okay.
我已经把所有设备留给了你 还有这本书
I've left you all my equipment and the book.
回头要还给我 所以你不能再洒吃的上去
I want it back, so don't treat it like a placemat at Chili's.
我怀念以前的生活吗 有时候会
Do I miss the way things were? Sometimes.
但是现在我的婚姻跟以前不一样了
But there's so much more to my marriage now.
希拉让我不停挑战自己 拓宽了我的视野
Sheila pushes me to do things, to open up.
我觉得非常刺♥激♥
It's really exciting, man.
我回想自己三周前的生活
When I look back at my life just three weeks ago
也许我才是死气沉沉的那个
I think maybe I was the dead one.
哈哈 我死气沉沉
Ha! I was the dead one.
确实 有时候会刺♥激♥得过头了一点
Sure, sometimes the excitement gets a little out of hand.
我被电击过 不过没事
I got tased, that's cool.
但是其余时候 相信我
But the rest of the time, and believe me when I tell you...
你们好啊
Hey, guys.
我们就是圣克拉丽塔的一个普通家庭
...we're just like any other normal Santa Clarita family.
好吧 这样不对
Okay, that's wrong.
你好 我们希望
Hello, we are interested
可以请一位塞尔维亚留学生来寄宿
in hosting a pure Serbian exchange student.
有没有这周之内可以过来的人选呢
Do you have one we could get this week?
你好
Hello.
萨摩维尔那处房♥子吗
The listing on Summervale?
那里特别漂亮
Oh, it's a beautiful property.
地理位置优越 新厨房♥ 大理石厨房♥工作台
Great location, new kitchen, marble countertops,
还有独♥立♥备用房♥
detached bonus room.
不巧 明天我跟我老公都没空
Ooh. Tomorrow's not great for me or my husband.