小镇滋味

Santa Clarita Diet S01E05

Part 4 Oct. 15, 2019, 11:48 a.m.

Dan says he's gonna be at his apartment tonight after 11.
我讨厌这么晚吃饭
Oh, I hate eating so late.
是的这事有太多不理想的地方
Yeah. There's a lot about this that isn't ideal.
我们怎么把他的尸体
So how are we gonna get the body
从他公♥寓♥搬回我们的冷藏柜
from his apartment back to our freezer?
会有很多血
There's gonna be a lot of blood.
我们需要用密封性好的东西把他包起来
We need to wrap him up in something that doesn't leak.
我们需要用不引人起疑的东西
We're gonna have to get him to the car in something
把他搬到车上
that doesn't look suspicious.
里面放了具尸体箱子一定会很沉
With a body in it, that trunk is going to be heavy.
那我们就不用抬的
Then we won't carry it.
男人推着手推车最性感了
Oh, nothing sexier than a man and his dolly.
-你好手推车 -差不多行了
- Hello, dolly. - Well, that's over.
-东西带全了吗 -我们要带武器吗
- Is that everything? - Do we bring a weapon?
我就是武器
I'm the weapon.
某人又骄傲了
Somebody's cocky.
我可以出其不意
I have the element of surprise.
没人会想到一个小巧的女房♥产经纪人
No one expects a tiny realtor lady
会跳到他们背上撕破他们的喉咙
to jump on their back and rip out their throat.
除此之外我很享受杀人过程里的一种感觉
Besides, there's something I enjoy about the kill.
-真的吗 -是的就像是一次冲击
- Really? - Yeah. It's like a rush.
感觉我在用一种紧张有力的方式
It feels like I'm giving my body something it needs
向我身体提供它需要的东西
in an intense and powerful way.
-跟性♥欲♥有关吗 -当然了
- Is it sexual? - It's not not sexual.
我们该走了
We should go.
稍等一下马上回来
Wait here, I'll be right back.
别挡我的路
Hey, get out of my way!
这不正是那最该死的
Well, ain't that the darndest...
你好
Hi!
-洛基·海耶斯 -你们他妈要干嘛
- Loki Hayes? - The fuck you want?
今天是你的幸运日
This is your lucky day!
我们是科比房♥地♥产♥的乔和希拉
Joel, Sheila Hammond, Coby Real Estate.
你知道这房♥子最近已经被
Were you aware that your building was recently purchased
南加州最大的地♥产♥开♥发♥商收♥购♥了吗
by Southern California's largest condominium developer?
我的天
Oh, my god!
-关我什么卵事 -好问题
- The fuck I care? - Great question.
那地♥产♥开♥发♥商派我们过来
The fuck you care is we've been tasked by that very developer
给你一大笔现金以使你放弃当前租契
to offer you a large cash settlement to forgo your current lease.
我的天
Oh, my god!
这是个千载难逢的机会洛基
It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Loki.
你觉得呢
What do you think?
要来瓶香槟吗
Can we crack the champagne?
我有个住在皇后区的表妹也遇到过这类事
My cousin in Queens had the same shit happen to her.
她有了很多钱后就不和家里人来往了
She got so much cash, she don't even talk to our family no more.
当然正合我意
Yeah. I want that.
很好我们会拟好文书
Okay. We'll draw up the paperwork.
你去拿些杯子吧
While you grab some glasses.
-如果有的话拿些高脚杯 -高脚杯
- Champagne flutes if you have 'em. - Flutes?
好像有吧
I think I may.
这里只有我们仨吗
Is it, uh, just the three of us here?
-不我房♥间里有条蛇 -真酷
- No. I got a snake in my room. - That's neat.
好像没有高脚杯我以为我有的
I may not have flutes. I thought I did.
继续找找看
Oh, keep looking.
锥形杯也可以
Any tapered glass will do.
用好点的杯子喝味道会更好
It just tastes better in a fancy glass.
我觉得这是你的裤子
I think these are your pants.
你说对了
I think you're right.
我只找到霞多丽酒杯
All I could find was Chardonnay gla...
什么鬼
What the fuck?
你放心这是常规程序
Let me assure you, this is totally normal.
作为我们检查职务的一部分
As part of our inspectorial duties,
所有通风管都要检查...
all air ducts need to be checked...
反复不断检查有时候...
and re-checked and then, sometimes--
我卡住了见鬼
I'm stuck. Damn it!
你的押金要不回来了
There goes your security deposit.
你是哪门子的房♥产经纪人
What kind of realtor are you?
住♥宅♥房♥产有需要的话商用房♥产也行
Residential, but commercial on request.
-臭婊♥子♥ -快回来
- Son of a bitch! - Come back here!
见鬼
Shit!
不许动
Stay down!
怂逼
Pussy.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
我下不了手
I couldn't do it.
亲爱的没关系你还好吗
Honey, it's okay. Are you all right?
我没事只是...
I'm fine. I just...
我没事
I'm fine.
他看到我们的脸了所以我们得追他
Well, he saw our faces, so we're gonna have to go after him.
我可能咬到了他
I may have bit him.
我不确定因为他的项链特别粗
I mean, I don't know if I did. His chains were really thick.
如果咬到了他会变成我这样吗
But if I did bite him, will he become like me?
我们也说不清楚这玩意怎么传播也没人咬我啊
We don't know how this spreads. I never got bitten.
我没咬到他我没尝到血味儿
I didn't bite him. I didn't taste any blood.
我牙上沾了他的皮吗
Do I have skin in my teeth?
我带了一把匕♥首♥以防万一果然出了意外
I brought a knife in case something went wrong, and it did.
我有机会的只是...
I had him, I just...
我下不了手
I couldn't do it.
亲爱的没关系
Oh, honey, it's okay.
有关系有时候我觉得你是蝙蝠侠...
No, it's not. Sometimes I feel like you're Batman and--
罗宾也很重要
Robin is important.
我是想说你是蝙蝠侠和罗宾
I was gonna say I feel like you're Batman and Robin,
而我是管家阿福
and I'm... Alfred.
我们找不到他了回家吧
We're not gonna find him. Let's go home.
-我们该怎么跟丹说 -不知道
- What are we gonna tell Dan? - I don't know.
他为制♥造♥不在场证明的打猎之行
We have a couple of days
还有几天才结束
till he gets back from his hunting/alibi trip.
没事的我几乎确定没咬到他
It's all going to be fine. I'm almost sure I didn't bite him.
-我们不会有事的 -绝对的
- We're gonna be fine. - Totally.
应该吧
Mostly.
亲爱的我的手提箱是不是在厨房♥
Honey, is my briefcase in the kitchen?
对就在...
Yeah, it's right...
这里
here.
昨晚回家没吵醒你吧
I hope we didn't wake you last night when we got home.
没想到电影放了那么久
The movie ran longer than we thought.
出什么事了吗艾比
Is everything okay, Abby?
你有什么要跟我聊聊的吗
Is there something you wanna talk about?
没有没什么事
No. Everything's great.
那就好
Great.
-给 -谢谢你
- Here. - Well, thank you.
客气
No problem.
客房♥管理
Housekeeping.
客房♥管理我是做清洁的
Housekeeping, I clean?
我待会儿再来
I come back.