小镇滋味

I get that.
那我们找到我爸的摩托车然后离开
Okay. Let's grab my dad's bike and get out of here.
在哪里
Where is it?
我觉得到处都是
I think it's everywhere.
他收了我们的钱还把摩托车大卸八块
He took our money and chopped it up for parts?
吃一堑长一智 咱们走吧
Wow. What a valuable learning experience. Shall we go?
我爸妈要是发现我爸的摩托车不见了
When my parents see my dad's bike is missing
会暴走的
they're gonna freak out.
什么
What?
我只是在想 我妈吃人 而这是个人
I'm just thinking, my mom eats people, and this is a person.
两句都是真命题
Those are both true statements,
但是我不喜欢你把它们联♥系♥起来的方式
but I don't like the way you're connecting them.
反正他们都会怪我乱动家里的摩托车
They're gonna be mad about the bike, anyway.
如果把他留下 我妈还能饱餐几顿
If we keep him, my mom gets a few meals out of it
也能让他们知道 我能接受他们的世界
and I get to show them I can handle their world.
再说 我觉得崔维斯应该很享受被女人吃掉
Plus, something tells me Travis would enjoy a woman eating him.
我可以修好你的脚趾 4点见
洛基
嗨 你好吗
Oh, hi. How are you?
-挺好的 那是什么 -一条短♥信♥而已
- I'm fine. What's that? - Just a text.
-洛基发来的吗 -我不能告诉你
- Is it Loki? - I can't tell you that.
因为这样的话
That would be a violation
就侵犯了我宪法第四修正案规定的隐私权
of my Fourth Amendment right to privacy.
有意思 你之前可没引用过第四修正案
That's interesting. You haven't cited that amendment before.
我现在引用因为
Well, I'm citing it now because,
我要行使第五修正案赋予我的权利
well, I take the Fifth on that.
看你跟别人这么亲近我很难过
It's just hard to see you connecting with someone
我们最近都没有在床上激♥情♥似火
when you and I haven't exactly been burning up the bed sheets,
上周烛光Play失控 真的起了火
we literally did last week when our candle play got out of hand.
能不能给我看下那条短♥信♥ 让我心安一点
So can I please see the text to put my mind at ease?
-你这是不信任我吗 -我当然信任你
- Are you saying you don't trust me? - Of course I trust you.
算了 我下楼 做个三明治 然后...
You know what, I'mma go downstairs, make a sandwich, and...
看比赛
watch the game.
他体型太大了 而且掰不弯 因为有尸僵
He's too big. Plus, he won't bend, he's got rigor mortis.
妈的 好不容易想为家里人做点事
Damn it. You try to do something nice for your family.
我有个怪主意 如果把他手肘和膝盖打断
Okay. Weird idea? If we break his elbows and kneecaps,
就可以反向对折他的四肢
we can bend his limbs the wrong way
也许就能把他塞进去了
and maybe Tetris the whole thing in.
好吧
Okay.
行 我小时候学过空手道 你抓腿
Sure, I took karate as a kid. Yeah, grab his leg.
好
Okay.
开始了
Okay. Here we go.
准备好了吗 看我把这死人的腿打断
Ready? I'm gonna-- I'm gonna snap this dead guy's leg.
不必非这样做 艾比
You don't have to do this, Abby.
如果他是完整的 我们还能送回去
If he's still in one piece, we can put him back.
-一旦碎尸 他就是我们的了 -我爸妈杀人
- But once we break him, we own him. - My parents kill people.
我妈还把尸体扔进榨汁机吃掉 我没问题
My mom puts them in blenders and eats them. I can do this.
数三下 准备好了吗
On three. Ready?
一 二
One... two...
-我能看了吗 -还不行
- Can I look? - Not yet.
-不许偷看 -好
- No peeking. - Okay.
可以了
Now.
一箱子脚
A box full of feet.
我只需要一根脚趾 但你居然搞来了一整箱
I only needed the one toe but you got me a literal foot locker.
可以供你挑选完美的肤色和尺寸
We can match the perfect color and size,
我还认识一个医生能把脚趾剪下来再给你缝上去
and I know a doctor who can clip off the toe and sew it on you.
只要给他一点可♥卡♥因♥和手写感谢信就行
All he'll want is some cocaine and a handwritten thank you note.
真好 可这些脚是怎么来的
Well, that's great, but where did you get all these?
来自一群不再需要脚的小坏蛋们
From small, bad men who were no longer using them.
如果他们不需要的话...
Well, if they were just going to waste...
希拉
Sheila.
你的皮肤好冰凉好柔软
Your skin is so soft and cold.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
希拉 据我所知
Sheila, as far as we know,
我们是世界上仅存的同类
we're the only people like us in the world.
-我们应该在一起 -什么 我结婚了
- We should be together. - What? I'm married.
我只见过你两次 而两次我都是为了杀你
I've only met you twice and both times I was trying to kill you.
说明我们的感情始于激♥情♥
So our relationship starts from a place of passion.
不可能 太扯了 我很爱我老公
No, this is crazy. I love my husband.
真是 令人失望
It's just... really disappointing.
就算是死了 男女之间也没有纯洁友谊
Even dead men and women can't be friends.
妈的
Fuck.
我决不放弃 我的晚霞玫瑰
I will never give up, my evening rose.
"我决不放弃 我的晚霞玫瑰"
"I will never give up, my evening rose."
以及
Also...
杀掉乔
murder Joel.
我擦掉我的指纹
I'll wipe off my fingerprints.
我好蠢
I'm such an idiot.
害你白花了钱
I lost your money,
还让这个变♥态♥拆了我爸的摩托
I let some creep chop my dad's bike up into a million pieces.
我爸妈说得对 我根本没准备好
My parents are right. I'm not ready for anything.
真的吗
Seriously?
艾比 你是我认识的人里最有能力的
Abby, you are the most awesome, capable person I've ever met.
你用催泪瓦斯喷倒了一个毒贩
You tear-gassed a drug dealer.
你给了我与继父对抗的信心
You gave me the confidence to stand up to my stepdad.
你只用了一把手电筒
You saved your parents from a murder charge
就帮你♥爸♥妈逃脱了谋杀指控 简直像百战天龙
with just a flashlight like you're freakin' MacGyver.
我是不是说得太实诚了 还是只是奇怪
Was that too honest? Was it just weird?
你知道百战天龙吗
Do you know who MacGyver is?
知道
Yes.
你总是很奇怪
And you're always weird.
好 针头是在右臂还是左臂
All right, so was the needle in his right arm, or his left?
我不记得了 应该是在左臂
I don't remember, uh, but I think it was in his left.
-好 -小心点
- Okay. - Careful.
好 那就开始了 准备好了吗
All right, here we go. You ready?
一 二...
One, two...
还是直接放这儿吧 挺好的
and I'll just put it right here, that's good.
这是什么
What's that?
你什么时候学会骑摩托的
When'd you learn how to drive a motorcycle?
现在
Now.
太他妈爽了
Motherfuckers!
乔
Joel?
乔
Joel?
科比房♥地♥产♥
你好啊 圣克拉丽塔
Whassup, Santa Clarita?
2000年3月27日
March 27, 2000:
这个标志立在我们第一座挂牌房♥屋前
that sign stood in front of our first listing.
大家都说我们卖♥♥不出去
Everyone said we'd never sell it.
那套带有两居室一间无证车♥库♥的
The two-bedroom colonial.
-殖民风房♥子 -我们以房♥主的要价卖♥♥了出去
- With the unpermitted garage. - We closed at asking.
之后 为了纪念这次成功
Afterward, to mark the occasion,
我为你做了我唯一会做的一道菜
I made you the only meal I knew how to cook.
肉丸意大利面
Spaghetti and meatballs.
-太贴心了 可惜我吃不了 -你可以吃
- This is so sweet. I wish I could eat it. - You can.
这是用100%纯放养的丹肉做成的
It's made from 100 percent free-range Dan.
-真的吗 -面条是肱二头肌做的
- Really? - The noodles are striated biceps.
肉丸子是...
The meatballs are from...
说实话我也不知道是哪个部位
Honestly, I don't know where they're from.
当时很是混乱 大概是胸腔区域
It was a horrible mess. Somewhere in the chest cavity.
你居然为我准备了这一切
I can't believe you did all this.
并不容易 我吐了两次
It wasn't easy. I puked twice.
另外 我觉得意大利面机得扔了
Also, I think we're gonna have to throw out the pasta maker.
我已经泡着了 但是感觉希望不大
I left it to soak, but it's not looking good.
你有没有试过用醋和小苏打
Did you try vinegar and baking soda?
我就是这么把加里给清洗掉的
That's how I got Gary out of my shoes.
我不该对洛基的事大做文章
I shouldn't have made such a big deal about Loki.
只是看你们有这么多共同点 我有点害怕
It just freaked me out you two having so much in common.
可后来我意识到 我们半辈子都一起过了
But then I realized we've spent half our lives together.
没人能比我和你有更多的共同点
No one will ever have more in common with you than I do.
太好了 你说得对 洛基对你没有威胁
That's wonderful. And you're right, Loki is no threat to you.
希拉
Sheila!
你在干什么 我说过了我没兴趣
What are you doing? I told you I'm not interested.