小镇滋味

你何不放下那本
Now why don't you put down
无价之书的唯一已知副本
the only known copy of that priceless book,
最好远离薯片和西夫韦牌鳄梨酱
ideally away from the chips and Safeway brand guacamole.
真是太棒了
This is amazing.
500年前写的东西将会帮到我
Something written 500 years ago is going to help me.
这里是治疗方法
And here... is the remedy.
我花了好些年的时间才找到相当于
It's taken me years to find the modern-day equivalent
这些中世纪塞尔维亚原料的现代药物
of these medieval Serbian ingredients.
商店里可买♥♥不到没药
You can't just run down to the store and get myrrh.
我已经检测过配方 而且奏效了
But I've tested the formula and it works.
谢天谢地这能奏效 都在这了
Thank god it works. It's all here.
这能改变我们的生活
This is gonna change our lives.
看 真是太美了
Look at it. It's so beautiful.
我开始觉得我永远都不会解冻我的卵子了
I'm beginning to think I'll never unfreeze my eggs.
我会在你家待几天
I'll stay here in your brown tract home for a few days
来调整我的配方
while I adapt the solution
把之前给老鼠注射的剂量改为人类剂量
I've used on rats into a human-grade injection.
注射完多久我就能被治愈
So, how soon after the injection will I be cured?
永远不能
Never.
但是你说它奏效了
But you said it works.
当然
Always.
你在生鳄梨酱的气
You're mad about the guacamole.
没错 但我想说的是 这不是解药
Yes. But my point is, it's not a cure.
你已经死了 之后也将维持现状
You're dead and you're gonna stay that way.
我们所能做的 只是停止你的退化
All we can do is halt your deterioration
这样你就能维持现状了
so you'll remain as you are now.
所以她永远也不能恢复到从前那样了吗
So she'll never be like the way she was before, ever?
恐怕不能
I'm afraid not.
太可惜了
Well, that's a shame.
我知道这不是你想要的结果
I know it's not exactly what you wanted to hear,
但这基本还算是好消息
but it's mostly good news.
我好不起来了 但也坏不下去
I'm not getting better but I'm not gonna get worse.
这确实是一个可喜可悲的结果
It's definitely a glass-half-full situation.
我们仍然需要杀人
We're still gonna have to kill people,
但我不用去想出一个浪漫的方式来杀死你了
but I'm not gonna have to find a lovely way to kill you,
我们之前为这事还吵了架
which was causing tension in the relationship.
的确
It was.
我把你最爱的那盒饼干的盖子打开了
I left open that box of crackers you love so much
就为了让它们受潮
just so they'd get stale.
我觉得作为活死人让你的报复心变强了
I feel like being undead has made you more vindictive.
它让我什么都变强了
It's made me more everything.
这正是我喜欢它的地方
That's what I like about it.
它让我更加自信 无畏
It's made me more confident, fearless.
上周我和苏珊说 "别这么婊了
Last week I told Susan, "Stop being such a little bitch.
"假如你想要那联排别♥墅♥
If you want that townhouse,
那就开个价吧"
then just make an offer."
我以前绝对不敢这样和市女议员说话
I'd have never been able to talk to a city councilwoman like that before.
而且我也更加享受爱爱了
And I enjoy sex more,
也不那么在乎前戏了
and don't care as much about foreplay.
那绝对...是件好事
That's certainly... a good thing.
我的嘴唇
My lip.
抱歉 你让我欲♥火♥焚身
Sorry. You just make me so fucking hot.
你把皮咬破了吗
Did you break the skin?
-没有 -那就好
- No. - Good.
之前在激♥情♥行为中她有伤过你吗
Has she ever hurt you before in the act of passion?
没有 我们不玩那个
No. We're not into that.
我们可是持证的房♥产经纪人
We're licensed real estate brokers.
这听上去绝对算是无端攻击了
It definitely sounds like unprovoked aggression.
你也许进入了更加野性的新阶段
You may be entering a new, more feral stage.
多久之后我会完全失控
How long before I completely lose control?
我不确定
I'm not sure.
我只知道这是个循序渐进的过程
All I know is it'll be a progression,
以"那样可有点粗暴了"开头
starting with "that was a little rude"
以"快跑"结尾
and ending with "Run!"
好吧 我们得加快进度
Okay. We need to move up the timeline.
你什么时候能准备好
When can you be ready?
该死的
Oh, damn it.
其他东西我都能在两天之内准备好
I can have everything here in two days,
除了胆汁
except for the bile.
胆汁
The bile?
书里说需要一个土生土长的纯种塞尔维亚人的胆汁
The book calls for the bile of a native-born pure Serbian.
真的 那书里有没有说还需要爱尔兰人的络腮胡子
Really? Does it also call for the whisker of an Irishman?
这玩意能有效是因为中世纪的塞尔维亚人体内
It's effective because medieval Serbians
产生了一种能抵抗病毒的肠道菌丛
developed intestinal flora that resisted the virus.
不巧的是 我的胆汁小哥 瓦拉德
Unfortunately, my bile guy, Vladé,
去度假了
is on vacation.
你就不能告诉瓦拉德事出紧急吗
Couldn't you just tell Vladé it's an emergency?
他才不在乎呢
Ah, he won't care.
他比我上一个胆汁小哥要靠谱
He's more reliable than my last bile guy,
但这种消化液生意
but the digestive fluid business
招来的更多是爱好者而不是专业人士
attracts more hobbyists than professionals.
-那个巴卡 -巴卡
- The baka. - The baka?
那个巴卡
The baka!
艾比学校校长的奶奶
The grandmother of Abby's school principal.
她告诉我她的父母都是塞尔维亚人
She told me both her parents are Serbian
还说了他们的死因
and exactly how they died.
之后又给我摸他们的头发 漫长的一个下午
And then she made me touch locks of their hair. Long afternoon.
好极了 明天我准备配方
Great. Tomorrow I'll prep the formula
你们去取她的胆汁
while you two collect her bile.
希望能成功
Hopefully this will work.
等等 你说过百分之百有效的
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You said it always works.
对老鼠 我只在老鼠身上试过
On rats. I've only ever done it on rats.
即便这样 要想有效还必须
And even then, it's only effective
在它们彻底失控前就注射
if it's administered before they've gone completely feral.
所以并没有解药 而且不完全的解药有可能无效
So there's not a cure, and the partial cure might not even work
因为我们已经太晚了而且希拉不是老鼠
because we're too late, and Sheila's not a rat.
不过好消息是我有机会
But the good news is I get
让一个老太太吐在桶里
to make an elderly woman throw up in a bucket,
这可能会激发一些人的性♥欲♥ 但对我没用
which might be a turn-on for some people, but it's not my thing.
暂时没用 可谁知道呢 夜还长呢
Yet! Who knows? The night is young!
-他好像生气了 -是吧
- He seems angry. - I know, right?
他的备用方案是用球棒把我的脑子打烂
His plan B is to bash my brains in with a baseball bat.
我对老鼠都下不了这种狠手
I wouldn't even do that to the rats.
如果必须杀了它们 我就调暗灯光 放莫扎特
If I have to put them down, I dim the lights, play Mozart,
让它们嗑笑气
get them high on nitrous oxide,
然后把一根小小的薄荷味牙签插到脑子里
and then drive a tiny, mint-flavored toothpick into their brains.
看吧 我认识你才多久 五分钟
You see? I've known you, what, five minutes
我已经宁愿你来杀我了
and already I'd rather have you kill me.
谢谢
Thank you.
-你有没有... -消毒脑脊液吗
- Have you--? - Sterilized the cerebral spinal fluid?
-弄好了 -你最好也去...
- Yes. - Perhaps you should--
分馏粗反应混合物吗 也做完了
Fractionally distill the crude reaction mixture? Done.
-有没有... -形成结晶物吗 没有
- Have the-- - Crystals formed? No.
-那个... -九点三
- I wonder-- - Nine point three.
-可我... -蓝色
- But I-- - Blue.
-怎么... -七
- Why--? - Seven.
有意思
Interesting.
各位好 我准备好来帮忙了
Hey, guys. I'm ready to help.
你是想来把这张桌子劈成两半吗
Um, would you like to chop this table in half?
我没有实验服
I don't have a lab coat.
听着 我知道我们一开始
Look, I know we got off to
因为鳄梨酱的事可能闹得有点不愉快
a bad start with the whole guacamole thing,
可除我之外所有人都有很有意思的事做
but everyone has something cool to do except me.
我来问问你 艾比桑...[安倍桑]
Let me ask you this, Abby-san...
显然我不该穿这衣服出来
Obviously, this was a mistake.
你懂神经学吗
Do you have any knowledge of neuroscience?
除了科学其他学科我都是A
I get straight A's in everything except science.
-你会记笔记吗 -会
-Are you good at taking notes? -Yes.
把这个写下来 逐字记下
Take this down, verbatim.
我要份全麦面包火鸡三明治 不加蛋黄酱
I'd like a turkey sandwich on whole wheat, no mayo.