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我打得特别好
I'm getting really good at it
乔甚至都不能完成比赛
and Joel couldn't even finish the game.
你知道这听起来像什么吗
You know what it sounds like?
口♥活♥
Oral.
也许你应该继续做你的事
Well, maybe you should just keep doing your thing,
无论是什么
whatever it is.
也许是保龄球 我们也不知道
It might be bowling, we don't know.
但是自己单独去做
But do it by yourself and
鼓励乔去找到他擅长的事
encourage Joel to find something that he's good at.
听起来像手活
Yeah, like hand stuff.
乔在高中的时候吹小号♥
Joel played trumpet in high school,
所以他的嘴和手都很灵巧
so he's really good with his lips and his hands.
而且他还能保持节奏
Plus, he can keep a beat.
但是 阿朗德拉 谢谢你的建议
But thanks, Alondra, for your advice.
你可以不采纳我的建议 大多数人都不
You may not take it. Most people don't.
我妹就没听我的话 现在她要离婚了
My sister didn't listen to me and now she's getting divorced.
但是我们都很争强好胜 所以我无所谓
But we're super competitive, so I'm okay with it.
话说回来 她得把她的房♥子卖♥♥掉
Anyway, she needs to sell her house.
你有名片吗
Do you have a card?
没有 但是我有支笔
No, but I have a pen.
上面有我们所有的信息 所以...
It has all our information on it, so...
任何人都能找到我们
anyone can find us.
天啊 之前都在的 我找不到了 操
Oh, my god, it was in my purse. I can't find it. Oh, fuck!
该死 该死 该死 该死
Damn it, damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
-面包烤得不错 -打破尴尬的方法不错
- Nice buns. - Nice icebreaker.
这几天都没有见到你
I haven't seen you around in a couple days.
我有点忙
I've been kind of busy.
机器人还不能自己造自己 目前来说
Robots don't build themselves. Yet.
咱俩之间没事吧 在那天发生的事后
Are we cool? I mean, after what happened the other day?
那天
The other day?
是说我试着亲你被你推开吗 太可怕了
Oh, when I tried to kiss you and you pulled away, horrified.
我已经彻底忘了那事
No, I totally forgot about that.
我也是
Totally. Me too.
我只是不希望我们两个之间变得尴尬
I just don't want things to be awkward between us.
如果我们还记得那天的事
In case we ever do remember it.
我不会尴尬...
I won't be awkward...
-莉亚公主[《星球大战》人物] -对 像这样
- Princess Leia. - Yeah, like this.
他在这呢 我爱这个声音 真男人
There he is. Love that sound. All man.
我猜现在你真的想亲我了
So I guess now you really want to kiss me.
这个烧烤聚会很无聊
This barbecue's boring.
我们去做点有意思的事吧
Let's get out of here, do something fun.
我说不好
Oh, I don't know.
帮帮我 艾瑞克旺·肯诺比
Help me, Eric-wan Kenobi,
你是我唯一的希望
you're my only hope.
呆子
Nerd.
你还在 好样的
You stayed. Good boy.
我们已经做了48小时的好哥们
You know, we've been best friends for 48 hours,
所以我觉得我可以提个建议
so I feel like I can make a suggestion.
或许你不要对所有人都那么混♥蛋♥
Maybe you don't be a dick to everybody,
包括你继子
including your stepson.
引人深思 杀手
Food for thought. So, killer,
我又有一个人需要解决掉
I got another guy who needs to go.
-什么 -他是个性贩子
- What? - He's a sex trafficker.
你想让我再杀人
You want me to kill again?
我已经花了两年时间抓这个王八蛋了
I've spent two years chasing this scumbag.
每次快要成功的时候
Every time I get close,
他就贿赂人然后逃跑
he bribes someone, leaves town.
他这次回来几天卖♥♥他的东西
He's back for a few days to sell his product.
女孩 乔 他卖♥♥女孩
Girls, Joel. He sells girls.
什么混♥蛋♥会不把这样的人杀了
What kind of asshole doesn't kill a guy like that?
不杀了他的话你比他更坏
You're worse than he is.
首先 不 我没有他坏
First of all, no, I'm not.
而且我以为我们的交易结束了
And I thought we were done.
没结束 兄弟 你现在背负着两起命案
We're not done, buddy. I've got two murders on you.
你知道你需要什么吗
You know what you need?
丽莎做的凉拌卷心菜 很美味
Some of Lisa's coleslaw. It's wonderful.
乔 我给你带了瓶我最近一直在喝的啤酒
Hey, Joel, I brought you one of these beers I've been drinking.
里面有蜂蜜
It's got honey in it.
蜂蜜 天 艾德 这真♥他♥妈♥是好消息
Honey? Jesus Christ, Ed, that's such fucking good news.
我们借用你继父催泪瓦斯的时候
When we borrowed your stepdad's tear gas,
我还看到了一些很好玩的东西
I saw these other things that looked kind of fun.
在这
Here they are.
这些会爆♥炸♥ 对吗
These explode, right?
差不多吧 那是闪光手榴弹
Uh, kind of. They're flash bang grenades.
声音超响而且超级亮
They're super loud and super bright.
你知道怎么做会很酷吗
You know what'd be cool?
带几个去荒漠 然后引爆
Taking a bunch to the desert and setting 'em off.
你知道怎么做更酷吗
Oh, you know what'd be even cooler?
把它们放回去 不让丹发现我拿了他的东西
Putting them back and then not having Dan find out I took his stuff.
那会超级疯狂的 对吗
That'd be crazy, right?
-我又尖叫了 对吧 -算不上尖叫
- I yipped again, huh? - Barely.
-在哪儿去了 -那里
- Where'd it go? - There.
滚到架子下面了
I think it rolled under those shelves.
我看见了
Oh, I see it.
能拿到吗
Can you get it?
什么...
What the...
墙上开了一扇门
Part of the wall just opened.
什么 你在说什么
What? What are you talking about?
帮我一下 来
Help me. Come on.
我靠
Fuck.
-看看这些东西 -嗯
- Look at all this stuff. - Yeah.
肯定是丹的 他是个黑警
It's gotta be Dan's. He's a crooked cop.
他存了一柜子的非法物品
He's got a closet full of illegal shit,
却训斥我在人行道上骑自行车
but he chews me out for riding my bike on the sidewalk.
要不我们不管闪光手榴弹
What do you say we forget the flash bangs
去找点真正的乐子怎么样
and have some real fun today?
我不会吸可♥卡♥因♥的 艾比
I'm not doing cocaine, Abby.
我感觉我会受不了
I just have a feeling I would be unbearable.
我不是在讲毒品
I'm not talking about drugs.
好吧 这个主意更糟
Okay, that's an even worse idea.
要是我偷了丹两万美元他绝对会发现的
Dan is definitely gonna notice if I steal $20,000 from him.
他会杀了我的
He'll kill me.
说得没错 太疯狂了
You're right, it's insane.
那就先拿上一千美元吧
Let's start with a thousand.
我们有麻烦了
We have a problem.
我知道 我找不到我的笔了
I know. I can't find my pen.
我觉得我的麻烦更大
I'm gonna say my problem's bigger.
比印着我俩名字的笔
Bigger than I left my pen with our names on it
落在洛基公♥寓♥还大吗
at Loki's apartment?
该死
Damn it.
为什么就没有一天能轻轻松松的呢
Why can't we ever have one easy fucking day?
就是啊
I know!
丹还想要我杀人
Dan wants me to kill again.
真的吗 他这次要我们杀谁
Oh, really? Who does he want us to kill this time?
性贩子
Sex trafficker.
好又不好
Nice and bad.
不 我们不能一直帮他杀人
No. We can't keep doing this for him.
冷藏柜里的家伙快吃完了
Well, I'm almost finished with the guy in the freezer.
只剩大腿和内脏了
It's just thighs and giblets.
况且还有什么比性贩子更可恶的呢
And what's worse than a sex trafficker?
也许我们该换个角度看这事
Maybe we need to change our perspective on this.
也许丹在为我们工作
Maybe Dan is working for us.
他就像我们的松露猪
And he's like our little truffle pig
带我们找好吃的
just leading us to tasty morsels.
这可能是丹有过的
That may be the most beautiful thing
最高评价
anyone's ever said about Dan,
但是抱歉 亲爱的 我不要这么做
but I'm sorry, honey, I'm just not doing it.
好的
Okay.
我是认真的
I'm serious.
我想了想你在车上说过的话
I thought about what you said in the car,
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