小镇滋味

多么美妙的一天啊
What a beautiful day!
我喜欢和你们一起慢走
I love walking with you guys.
朋友 新鲜空气 阳光
Friends, fresh air, sunshine.
看你骑得多起劲 我们都为你加油
Look how hard you're working. Everyone's rooting for you!
你为什么这么开心
You're so happy. Why?
为什么会有人不开心
Why would anybody not be happy?
如果有人有个宝宝 他们很爱他或她
What if someone has a baby, and while they love him, or her,
或他们 如果是双胞胎的话
or them, if it's twins--
我们知道你说的是你自己
We know you mean you.
我只是怀念出去玩 有自己生活的日子
I just miss going out, having a life.
约翰·传奇的巡回演出 我想看四次
John Legend's touring, and I wanna see him four times.
-那就去啊 -我不行
- So do it. - I can't.
每次我出去 RJ的表情就像是在说
Every time I go out, RJ makes this face like,
"妈咪 有我还不够吗"
"Mommy, aren't I enough?"
婴儿最烦了
Babies are the worst.
窍门就是别和他们说再见
The trick is to not say goodbye to them.
阿朗德拉 你得穿露脐上衣去演唱会
Alondra, you need to put on a crop top, go to a concert
甩动你的奶♥子♥ 给一个
and shake those boobs for someone
不会把它视作晚餐的人
who doesn't just see them as dinner.
恭喜你 有一对棒呆了的奶♥子♥
Congratulations on your boobs, by the way. They are amazing.
我停止母乳喂养之后
When I stopped breastfeeding,
我的就变成俄♥罗♥斯♥套娃了
mine turned into Russian nesting dolls.
这个可以套进那个里
This one could fit in that one.
得了吧 你穿着紧身裤
Oh, come on, your body is ridiculous
身材不要太火 还有那迷人的丰臀
in those tight leggings and that sweet ass.
丹真是有幸能操那翘臀
Dan is lucky to hit that shit.
但要看他是怎么操的 他人太紧绷了
Yeah, but it's how he hits it. The man is tense.
上次我们做♥爱♥ 我对天发誓他都没眨眼
The last time we had sex, I swear to God, he didn't blink.
我在他面前拍掌 毫无反应
I clapped right in his face, nothing.
就像在和英国警卫做♥爱♥一样
It's like fucking a British guard.
你们俩应该找更多乐子
You two should be having more fun.
活出精彩
Live your best lives.
纵情享受一切
Give it the full Oprah!
希拉 这几天你真的变了好多
Sheila, you have really changed in the last few days.
你以前有点乏味 无意冒犯
You used to be kind of bland, no offense.
还有点刻板 无意冒犯
And kinda uptight, no offense.
-我们聚会从不叫你 -无意冒犯
- We did stuff without you all the time. - No offense.
艾瑞克学校今晚有个科学会 你来吗
Hey, Eric has a science thing at school tonight. Will you come?
光和阿朗德拉去会少了很多乐趣呢
It'll be so much less boring than going with just Alondra.
无意冒犯
No offense?
我当然会来 我还会带上乔和艾比
Of course I'll come. And I'll bring Joel and Abby.
我们爱艾瑞克 我想收养他但乔不同意
We love Eric. I wanted to adopt Eric, but Joel said no.
讲真 你怎么回事
Seriously, what's going on with you?
可能是我的新饮食吧 摄入大量蛋白质
It's probably my new diet. I've been eating a lot of protein.
-真的吗 -多少
- Really? - How many grams?
全部
All of them.
快来啊
Come on!
要我帮忙吗
May I help you?
是的 早上好
Yes. Good morning.
我受雇于国家地理频道
I've been hired to do a documentary
要给他们拍一个纪录片
for the National Geographic Channel.
回顾历史上的活死人
It's an historical look at the undead
一个很正规的项目
and a very legitimate project.
想要做到准确无误
Eager to make it accurate,
所以我一直在走访灵异书店
I've been visiting paranormal bookstores
找寻关于疫情爆发的史料以及可能的治疗方法
looking for materials on outbreaks and possible remedies.
你可以在我们的生活区内找到僵尸文学
You'll find the zombie literature in our lifestyle section,
就在求子水晶球旁边
next to the fertility crystals.
如果你撞到驱邪水晶球 就是走太远了
If you hit witch balls, you've gone too far.
不总是这样吗
Isn't that always the case?
有什么你可以用上的吗
Anything you can use?
好像没有
I don't think so.
我要找的是更真实的 不是给小孩看的
I'm looking for something more real, less for kids.
我在后面有这样的
I do have one thing in the back,
但我很少给人看
but I don't show it to a lot of people.
是吗 是什么
Yeah? What is it?
僵尸色情文学
Zombie porn.
谢谢你的宝贵时间
Thank you for your time.
我的天啊
Oh, my God.
-里克 -乔
- Hey, Rick! - Hey, Joel.
你能开下你的后备箱吗
Can you pop your trunk for me?
这些话你永远不会想从一个警♥察♥口中听到
Those are words you never wanna hear from a cop.
拜托 我想看下载货空间
Come on, I want to check the cargo space.
我喜欢我的摩托车 但它只放得下屁♥股♥
See, I love my bike, but the only thing it holds is ass.
顺便说下 你得去试试那车
By the way, you gotta try that thing.
一秒多钟就能加速到60码
Zero to 60 in one-point-fuck seconds.
亲爱的 你今早去哪里了呀
Hi, honey! Where'd you go this morning?
包里是什么 礼物吗 给我的吗
What's in the bag? Is it a present? Is it for me? Is it for me?
本白色袋子
Plain white bag.
污哦
Nasty.
亲爱的 我刚换过尿布
Hey, babe. I changed his diaper,
给他穿上了袜子 好爸爸来咯
put on his socks. Great dad alert.
得了吧你 我们去听点约翰·传奇的歌♥
Come on, you. Let's go listen to some John Legend,
把你的袜子脱掉 因为现在38度
take your socks off, 'cause it's 100 degrees.
我要准备工作了 今天要开到里弗赛德
I gotta get ready for work. I gotta drive out to Riverside today.
还不如去火星 只是那里更热
Might as well be Mars, except it's hotter,
空气更稀薄 吃的又烂 没什么文化
there's less air, food's not as good, less culture,
还离我家很远 操蛋
and it's further from my house. Fuck me.
所以 让我看看吧
So... let's take a look.
对 我们来看下
Yes. Let's.
我的天
Oh, my.
很宽敞啊
That is roomy.
里克 看着我 看着我 看着我
Rick, look at me, look at me. Look at me.
什么
What?
我现在能让我的臀部扭来扭去
I can make my hips go side to side now.
-我以前从来都做不到 -你为什么想这样做
- I could never do this before. - Why would you want to?
因为这能提起性♥欲♥ 里克
Because it's a turn-on, Rick.
看出来了
Yeah, I see it.
所以这样的车得花多少钱
So what's a car like this set you back?
它不会让你破费[后退] 里克 它会推动你前进
It doesn't set you back, Rick. It launches you forward.
如果你想要一辆 你就应该买♥♥一辆
If you want one, you should get one.
不要想太多 想太多会扫兴
Don't overthink it. Overthinking is a boner killer.
卧倒 有枪手
Hit the deck, we got a shooter!
搞什么 丹
What the hell, Dan?
只是测一下你的反应 怂逼警官
Just testing your reflexes, Officer Puss.
不太好啊 当圣莫妮卡警♥察♥听到"枪手"
Not so bueno. When Santa Monica PD hears "Shooter,"
他们想到的是"生蚝酒吧"
They think "Oyster bar."
那是因为我们比一个副警长挣得多
That's 'cause we can afford oysters,
我们吃得起生蚝
since we make a shit-ton more money than a sheriff's deputy.
谢了
Thanks, guys.
我给你买♥♥了蚂蚁喷雾
Here, I got you ant spray.
不用了 我有蚂蚁喷雾了
That's okay, I have ant spray.
你不知道你有什么
You don't know what you have.
我要你赶紧把那些小混♥蛋♥灭了
I need you to kill those little bastards
趁它们还没攻占我家院子之前
before they start making their way into my yard.
今天早上我就在我家厨房♥发现一只
I found one in my kitchen this morning.
如果因为你家的蚂蚁问题让我家也遭殃的话
Now if I get an ant problem because you have an ant problem,
咱俩之间就有麻烦了
you and I are gonna have a problem.
-她在干什么 乔 -我不知道 丹
- What is she doing, Joel? - I don't know, Dan.
喷到你院子里
Just spray your yard.
看到了吗 他不认为是我们杀死了加里
See? He doesn't think we killed Gary,
他只是对蚂蚁着迷
he's just obsessed with ants.
真是松了口气 但是在某些方面却更让人烦恼了
Yeah, that's a relief, and in some ways even more troubling.
我想给你看点东西
Come on, I want to show you something.
他像我一样吐出了一个球形东西
He's throwing up a ball thing, like I did.
是啊 我去了所有的超自然书店
I know. I've been going to all these occult bookstores.
我找到这些画的那家书店女老板
The woman where I found these
说原版出自16世纪的塞尔维亚
said they're copies of prints from 16th century Serbia.
我们得找到一个会说塞尔维亚语的人
Then we need to find somebody who speaks Serbian.
在刚开了第一家印度餐馆的圣克拉丽塔
Yeah, in Santa Clarita, which just got its first Indian restaurant.