和平使者（2022）

还不确定他们是不是蝴蝶
Well, we aren't sure yet if they're butterflies.
简单嘛
Okay, easy.
你现在就告诉我 蝴蝶到底是什么鬼
This is the part where you tell me what the fuck a butterfly is.
我们没有义务回答你 史密斯
We're not here to answer your questions, Smith.
难道我就听你一句 “相信我们 射死小孩”
So what is it, "Just trust us and shoot kids"?
拜托 瞧瞧那个小孩多可爱
Come on, man, look how adorable that one is.
另一个就没那么可爱了
The other one, not so much.
一脸“玉米田的小孩”样
He's got like a Children of the Corn vibe going on.
你确定两个小孩都是亲生的
Are you sure those two kids came out of those parents?
这对夫妻挺好看 一个小孩像亲生的
That's an attractive couple, and that one looks like it came out of them,
但另一个像“屁♥眼♥小孩” 屁♥眼♥小孩
but the other one looks like a butt baby. - A "butt baby"?
对 我哥说过世上有两种小孩
Yeah, my older brother told me there's two types of babies.
一种是女性阴♥道♥产出的正常小孩
One that comes out of a woman's vagina, normal,
另一种是屁♥眼♥小孩 各方面都比较弱
and then butt babies, worse in every way.
从女性屁♥眼♥出来的
They come out of a woman's butt.
我十四岁前
You know, I believed I was a butt baby
都相信自己是屁♥眼♥小孩 -这就说得通了
until I was like, 14. - That explains a lot.
这跟任务有何关系
What does this have to do with anything?
就算是个丑小孩
Just because that's an unattractive child
并不代表我想杀掉 我了解你的感受了
doesn't mean I wanna kill it. - Your feelings are noted.
他是高夫的保镖 柔道大♥师♥
This is Goff's bodyguard, goes by the name of Judomaster.
他要击退什么敌人
The fuck's that guy gonna protect him from,
粉色爱心跟酢浆草吗 就我们所知 他很危险
pink hearts and green clovers? - We understand he's dangerous.
他才两尺高
He... he's two feet tall!
再约十分钟就会抵达现场
We'll be on site in about ten minutes.
和平使者和哈考特负责做掉高夫
Peacemaker and Harcourt will take out Goff,
莉奥塔 约翰和我将远端支援
while Leota, John, and I work remotely.
在我们叫你动手前
Don't terminate the kids or the wife
不要解决小孩或妻子
until we tell you it's okay.
有问题吗 -有
Any questions? - Yes.
磨豆腐是真的吗 我总是得到两极的答案
Is scissoring real? I keep getting contradictory reports.
我最初就怀疑你是屁♥眼♥出来的
I suspected you were a butt baby from the beginning.
我完全赞成
Oh, I'm all for it.
我支持的原因之一 是两个小妞亲热
One thing I'm in favor of, it's two chicks going at it.
天啊 -干吗 我是盟友耶
Oh, geez. - What? I'm a fuckin' ally.
留个女同志发型 不代表你就是盟友
Having a lesbian haircut doesn't make you an ally.
你还没看过我的色情片资料夹 有四百部盟友之作
You haven't seen my porn folder, 400 gigs of alliance.
和平鸽在哪里
Hey, uh, where's the dove of peace?
你说什么 和平鸽
The what? - The dove of peace,
我的商标啊
my trademark.
刻在我所有的武器上 我的战斧 我的剑‥
It's engraved on all my weapons, my tomahawk, my sword,
我的飞镖和手♥枪♥上都有
my blowdarts, my pistol!
你要我们停止行动 将狙击步♥枪♥交给一位雕刻师
You wanted us to stop and take the sniper rifle to an engraver
然后在上头刻只和平鸽
and put a dove of peace on it?
是啊 这太烂了
Uh, yeah! This is fucked up!
我没办法用 上头没有和平鸽的武器杀人
I don't think I can kill someone with something that doesn't have the dove of peace on it.
可恶 我每次画和平鸽
Fuck. Every time I draw a dove of peace,
都画得跟鬼一样
it looks like a ghost.
可恶
Fuck!
你干吗不直接告诉他 什么是蝴蝶
So, why don't you just tell him what butterflies are?
我不信任他 你信吗
I don't trust him. Do you?
不信任吧
I guess not.
我们得让和平使者不再质疑我们
We need Peacemaker to stop questioning us.
他很固执 但也极度需要归属感
He's stubborn, but he also has a deep need to belong.
可以好好利用这一点
We can use that to our advantage.
好喔 -给我一个螺丝钉
Cool. - Toss me a screw.
所以‥
So, uh...
他们说你做过非常狠的事
they say you've done, like, some real hardcore shit.
我正在尽量弥补以往的过错
I'm trying to do what I can to make up for my past.
我过去的行为让我感到难过
Things I've done make me sad.
就是这样
There.
我跟你分享了我的感受
That's a feeling of mine I just shared with you.
酷喔 -的确很酷
Cool. It is cool,
因为我从未做过这种事
'cause I've never done it before.
从未做过什么事
Never done what before?
分享我的感受
Shared a feeling.
别闹了 你从未分享过任何感受
Come on. You've never shared any feeling?
没有 -连“我饿死了”都没说过
No. - Like, you've never even said "Oh, my God, I'm hungry"?
没有
No.
也从没说过“这里好冷”
You've never said, uh, "It's chilly in here"?
“好冷”是一种感受吗
Is "chilly" a feeling?
是吧
Yeah, I think so.
那没有 -拜托 你从未说过你很冷
No. Come on, you've never said you've felt chilly?
怎么 你以为我是柔弱的娘娘腔
Why? Think I'm some weak-ass girly-man who needs
需要穿蓬蓬夹克 和披小毯毯吗
a poofy jacket or a little blanky?
要在我的小毯毯上 顺便挂个奶嘴吗 约翰
You gonna bring me a baby pacifier for that wittle bwanky, John?
不要
No.
我以前就是这样想的
That's how I thought of it in the past.
现在我正成长为 更有深度 更全面的人
Now I'm becoming a deeper, more well-rounded individual.
老实说 我现在有点冷
In fact, I'm a little chilly right now.
真的吗 -假的
You are? - No.
但我认为这么说 会是个成长的机会
But I saw it as an opportunity for growth to say I was.
好吧 看起来一切都就绪了
Uh, okay. Looks like we're good to go.
那些都是无谓的热量
Those ones are empty calories.
他们来了‥
Here they come. Here they come.
“贝伊斯坦熊”一家在宾士车里
We got the Berenstein Bears in the Mercedes.
熊爸爸 熊妈妈 熊哥哥 熊妹妹全都在
Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Brother Bear, and Sister Bear all accounted for.
凯迪拉克上有一名保镖 和眼镜蛇道馆掌门人
We've got a bodyguard and Cobra Kai in a Cadillac Escalade.
收到
Copy.
是贝“安”斯坦熊
Uh, it's Berenstain Bears.
什么
What?
那套童书是《贝安斯坦熊》 不是贝“伊”斯坦熊
The children's books, it's Berenstain Bears, not Berenstein Bears.
朋友 我从小看那套书长大 是《贝伊斯坦熊》
Dude, I grew up on those books. It's Berenstein Bears.
绝对不是 这套书是以作者命名的
Mm, absolutely not. It's actually named after the creators,
史丹和珍贝安‥ -这重要吗
Stan and Jan Berens... - Does this fuckin' matter?
不重要
No, sir.
是贝伊斯坦
It's Berenstein.
我无意纠正你 但‥
I don't mean to correct you, sir, but it...
闭嘴
Shut up.
宾士车和凯迪拉克就位
Mercedes and Escalade have landed.
小淘气来啦
Oh, little rug rats are here.
你在这儿呀 通心粉小怪兽‥
There she is. The macaroni monster!
孩子本人没那么丑
The macaroni... - Kid's not as ugly in person.
还是长得很怪就是了
Still looks weird, though.
可瞄准目标了吗
Is your target in sight?
他在跟小孩玩 -孩子们 该上♥床♥睡觉了
He's playing with the kids. - Kids, it's time for bed now.
高夫进入瞄准范围了吗
Is Goff in sight?
没有
Nope.
现在呢 -没有
Now? - No.
无障碍时就开枪
Take your shot when he's clear.
我知道 闭嘴好吗
Yeah, I know, dude. Shut the fuck up, okay?
他们要进屋了
They're about to enter the house.
我知道 但还是瞄准不了
I know what he's about to do. I still don't have a goddamn shot!
现在不干掉他 就得等到早上了 史密斯
If you don't get him now, Smith, we'll probably have to wait till morning.
就算这么说 也无法让他前面的大混♥蛋♥滚蛋
Yeah, that's not helping me make the big motherfucker in front of him disappear, okay?
要我把他也干掉吗
You want me to take him out too?
不要
No.
可恶
Fuck.
帮兄弟一个忙吧
All right, hook a brother up.
不要 -好吧
No. - Okay.
反正我不需要碳水化合物
I don't need the carbs anyway.
我注意到了
I noticed.
你看 他们在窗边
Look, they're in the window.
什么鬼
What the fuck?
我觉得他们全家都是蝴蝶 -为什么
I think the whole family is butterflies. - Why?
一离开保镖视线 他们的神态就变了
The second they were out of the bodyguards' sight, their demeanor changed.
不再假装成嘻笑玩闹的一家人
They dropped the pretense of being a playful family.
他们是政客 对吧
They're politicians, right?
也许整个幸福家庭的形象 只限于公共场合
Maybe the whole happy family thing is just what they do in public.
我认为不是这样 你看见了吗
I don't think that's what it was. Did you see them?