和平使者（2022）

and he starts getting loose lips!
到处炫耀
You know, just showing off.
“我跟鼎鼎大名的 和平使者合作”
"I'm on a team with the famous Peacemaker,
“我们要消灭恶名昭彰的蝴蝶”
and we're taking down the notorious butterflies.
“我的胡子是天然的”
My beard's real."
你是不是脑袋破洞
Are you fucking stupid?
我也不愿意 但这故事有点合理
Sounds more plausible than I wish it did.
什么 我根本不喜欢 别人含我蛋蛋
What? I don't even like when my balls are in somebody's mouth, okay?
让我起鸡皮疙瘩
It gives me the wrong type of chills.
而且我现在只想到 我太久没去检查睾丸癌了
And all I can think about is how long it's been since I've gotten checked for testicular cancer.
太久了
Too long!
你好糟糕 太可爱了 染胡哥
You are so fucked up, it's adorable, Dye-beard.
别这样叫我 -好嘛 你干吗这么激动
Don't call me that! Okay, fuck! Come on, bro. What the fuck?
应该不是我们任何一人
I don't think it's any of us.
那史特豪森为何想杀和平使者
Well, then why did Sturphausen try to kill Peacemaker?
搞不好他们是两情相悦 才一起回她的公♥寓♥
Maybe she brought him back to her apartment for the purpose he thought she did.
那为何一夜春宵后 她决定要杀掉和平使者
But why would she decide after they hooked up that she needed to kill him?
该死
Oh, shit.
怎样
What?
“限官方使用 天眼局”
我要去刷牙
I gotta brush my teeth.
好 -你把要替政♥府♥杀人的资料档案
Cool. You left the dossier of the person
放在某个替你吹老二的 陌生人家里
you're supposed to contract kill for the government in the apartment of some rando who blew you?
不是只有吹老二 我们做完全套
She's not some rando who blew me, man. We fully fucked.
放在我身上 总比放在没人的车上好吧
I thought it'd be safer on me than in the car unattended.
不然你要我怎样 先拿回家放
What was I supposed to do? - Drop it off at home first?
没错
Yes!
你根本不知道我们 面临多危险的敌人 史密斯
You don't understand what we're up against here, Smith.
国家存亡就靠这次行动
The fate of the country depends on this mission!
根本没人告诉我这件事
And nobody told me that!
连蝴蝶是什么都没人说明
Nobody's even told me what a fucking butterfly is!
我是穆恩
Murn.
对
Yes.
那个辣妹不会传染 怪物性病给我吧
You don't think that chick left any monster STDs on my dick, do you?
蝴蝶该不是透过性行为传染的吧
Wait, is being a butterfly like a venereal disease of some type?
该死 我也是蝴蝶了吗 我是鸡鸡吸血鬼了吗
Fuck, am I gonna become one? Am I a fucking dick vampire now?
你何时才要说还有目击证人
When were you gonna tell us there were witnesses?
我的确短暂绑♥架♥了一对夫妻
I did kidnap a couple for a minute.
艾文与安珀卡克多 麻烦你处理一下
Evan and Amber Calcaterra. Can you take care of 'em?
你要我“处理”是指‥
You want me to "take care of 'em" like...
不是 说服他们 不要指认和平使者
No, just... Just convince them not to finger Peacemaker.
所以是‥
More like, um...
我完全看不懂 玩什么比手画脚
I have no clue what that is. Why are we playing charades?
我不想说出来
'Cause I don't want to say it out loud.
我还是看不懂
I still don't know what that is.
莉奥塔
Leota.
贿赂 -没错
Bribery? - Yes, please.
拜托你赶快去
Go do it. Now.
我要哈考特 跟伊克诺莫斯待着
I need Harcourt and Economos here.
不然就派他们去了
Otherwise, I'd send them.
你老实跟我说
Be straight with me, man.
我变成鸡鸡吸血鬼了吧
I'm a dick vampire, aren't I?
不会 你不是鸡鸡吸血鬼
No, you're not a dick vampire,
你只有鸡鸡烂掉
you're just a dick.
你口风紧一点 我就可以跟你说
If you keep your mouth shut, I can tell you!
闭嘴
Shut up!
♪ Oh, I never thought
You'd hurt me ♪
♪ I guess you live and learn ♪
♪ That when you're playin'
With fire ♪
♪ You're bound
To get burned... ♪
该死 我不要‥
Fuck. No
大家都讨厌你
Everybody fucking hates you!
本来可以跟染胡哥当朋友的
And Dye-beard could be your friend,
结果你正常发挥 自己去惹毛人家
but you pushed him away like you push everybody away,
因为你就是个王八蛋
'cause you're a fucking dick.
你还杀了瑞克佛莱格
You killed Rick Flag.
佛莱格说得对
Flag was right.
和平使者
Peacemaker...
真可笑
...what a joke.
兄弟 -什么鬼
Buddy? - What the fuck?
你干什么 当什么跟踪狂
Hey! What the fuck are you doing, you... fucking stalker?
兄弟 你没事吧 -该死
Dude, are you all right? - Fuck, dude.
你在干吗 看着我打手♥枪♥吗 该不会掏老二了吧
I... I... What are you doing? Are you looking at me and jerking off right now? Is your dick out?
什么 没有 你自己看
What? No! No, man, look.
我才不要看 你这招太老套了
I'm not gonna fucking look, oldest trick in the book.
我转头就会看到 你硬到不行的老二
I look and you're fucking rock-hard,
接着你会当我的面射出来 你休想
and you throw jizz at my face. No fucking way!
什么 没有 我没有露鸟
What? No, dude, my dick is not out.
你就喜欢这种的吗 让我看到你的老二吗
Is that what you get off on, me seeing your fucking dick?
不是 谁会说这种话
No! Who the fuck said that?
路易CK那个混帐
Louis C.K. piece of shit!
路易CK讲过这种话 我要去杀了他
Louis C.K. said that? I'll fucking kill that guy!
他没有这么说 是你很像他
No, he didn't say it. You, you're like Louis C.K.
因为我很幽默 -幽默个屁
Because I'm funny? - Fucking funny, dude? No.
你‥到处露鸟
You... You show people your dick.
这跟路易CK的喜剧专场 有什么关系
What does that have to do with Louis C.K.'s comedy specials?
我根本没提到他的喜剧专场 你说什么屁话
I didn't say shit about his comedy specials. What the fuck, man?
路易CK到处露鸟 他本人啦
Louis C.K., how he showed people his dick, he, himself.
因为他有红头发
Because he's a ginger?
鬼扯‥什么
A fucking... What?
我哪知道 我只是想找出关联性
Well, I don't fucking know! I'm just trying to figure out the connection.
路易CK本人四处露鸟 懂吗
Dude, Louis C.K. showed people his dick, all right?
真的吗 -老天喔 你都不看新闻吗
He did? Jesus, man! Do you read the news?
不看 看完心情好差 我何必
No. What for? It's depressing.
算我拜托你了 求你看看我的鼠蹊部 拜托
Look, hey, I'm begging you. Will you please just look at my crotch. Come on.
看到了吗 有没有
See? Can you see that?
你不能像正常人一样走大门吗
Why the fuck don't you use the front door like a normal person?
我看到房♥间开灯 怕有人鬼鬼祟祟在附近
Well, I saw a light on in here,and I thought someone was creeping around.
我真的很高兴你回来了
I'm really happy you're back.
你在哭什么 -我没有
Why are you crying? I'm not crying.
我在做脸部运动 训练脸部肌肉
I'm fucking doing face muscle exercises. I'm exercising the muscles in my face,
脸部肌肉会更有线条
making my face... more muscular.
你戴着面具我都看得出来 你的脸应该瘦巴巴的
I can tell... ...under your mask, your face is skinny as shit.
因为你都不做脸部运动
You don't do these exercises for your face.
有几条肌肉感觉都快哭了 它们哪有哭
Some of them look like crying. They're not crying.
那你可以教我吗
Well, can you maybe teach 'em to me?
好
Yes.
卡克多夫妇你们好 麻烦回答几个问题
Mr. and Mrs. Calcaterra, I'm gonna ask you some questions.
对 这是真的警徽
And yes, this is a real badge.
该死
Fuck.
艾文 我可以自己开门
Evan, I can open the door myself.
我这叫有礼貌 王八蛋
I'm being a gentleman, you fuckin' asshole.
烂人
Dick.
卡克多夫妇吗 -我们是
Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Calcaterra. - Yeah?
方不方便
Uh, I was just wondering if you would,
回答我几个问题
um, answer a few questions for me.
我们正要去局里指认
We're on the way to, uh, the station now to look at mugshots.
这正是我想跟你们讨论的事
Yeah, well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
首先 请问你们真的在公♥寓♥里
Firstly, I'm wondering whether you saw the guy
看到你们印象中的人吗
in your apartment that you think you saw,
还是你们自以为看到某个人
or did you maybe see another guy that you actually didn't see
但其实根本没有
but you think you did?
再来
And secondly,
你们对开销全免的
I'm wondering if you've ever had an all-expenses-paid trip
内华达州太浩湖之旅有兴趣吗
to the beautiful Lake Tahoe, Nevada?
你在贿赂我们吗
Are you trying to fucking bribe us?
不是
No.
我正希望你贿赂我们呢
Oh. I was hoping you were trying to bribe us.
对啦 我在贿赂你们
Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to bribe you.
警方逮捕我时 为了找证据把这里翻了个底朝天
When I was arrested, the cops turned this place upside down for evidence.
你需要人帮你打扫吗
You need some help cleaning up?
应该吧