公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S07E12

Part 3 Feb. 20, 2024, 1:47 p.m.

What are you guys dressed as?
哦我是Sandra Dee... O'Connor
Oh, I'm Sandra Dee... O'Connor.
懂了吗 Sandra Dee加上Sandra Day O'Connor
Get it? Sandra Dee plus Sandra Day O'Connor?
谁是Sandra Dee
Who's Sandra Dee?
60年代著名青春女影星
谁是Sandra Day O'Connor
Who's Sandra Day O'Connor?
美国最高院首位女性大♥法♥官
算了
Forget it.
而我是点灯人
And I am the Lamplighter,
一个新角色来自我全新的桌游续集
a character from my new board-game sequel
"邓夏尔之锥: 特莫拉的寒风"
"Cones of Dunshire: Winds of Tremorrah."
Gameplay杂♥志♥称之为"惩罚性的复杂"
Gameplay Magazine called it "punishingly intricate."
哇 Ben 那也太酷了吧
Wow, Ben. That is so cool.
那就是像好酷的一个打扮成的角色啊
That is, like, such a cool thing to dress up as.
你知道 April 我理解你觉得锥子很没劲
ou know, April, I know you think "Cones" is lame,
但如果你就玩一次我向你保证你会爱上的
but if you play just once, I promise you that you would love it.
好啊我们来玩啊
All right. Let's play.
真的吗 - 才不
Really? - No.
嘿孩子们在哪儿呢
Hey, where are the kids at?
我想打个招呼然后和他们三个同时摔跤
I want to say hi and wrestle all three of them at once.
哦他们在乔治镇和一些朋友讨糖吃呢
Oh, they're trick-or-treating in Georgetown with some friends.
今晚只有我们大人们了
It's just us grown-ups tonight.
完全没有孩子
No kids at all.
嘿 Andy
Hey, Andy.
要不你来厨房♥帮我点忙呢
Why don't you give me a hand in the kitchen?
所以...你需要帮啥
So... what do you need a hand with?
哦不我就是觉得你想聊聊
Oh, no. I just thought you might want to talk.
哇
Whoa!
哥们这也太厉害了吧
Dude, that's really slick.
哈哦天那可是秘密特工级别的能力啊
Ha! Oh, man. That's some secret-agent stuff right there.
所以 April还是对孩子的事情犹豫不决吗
So, April's still on the fence about kids, huh?
是啊而我已经抓狂了大哥我太想要孩子了啊
eah. And I'm freaking out, man. I want kids so bad.
你知道昨天我在公园我看到这群八岁的孩子们笑着
ou know, yesterday I was at the park, and I saw this group of 8-year-olds laughing,
玩着享受着
playing, having a good time.
我几乎开始哭了
I almost started crying.
确实我刚刚滑旱冰摔了狗啃泥
Granted, I'd just face-planted on my rollerblades.
所以他们才在笑的
That's what they were laughing at.
当然了
Sure.
真的很情绪化
It was emotional.
你了解April的她必须以自己的节奏想清楚
ou know April. She has to come to it in her own time.
她会到那一步的
She'll get there.
如果她不会了呢
What if she doesn't?
带走我们孩子中的一个我们不需要全部三个
Take one of our kids. We don't need all three.
哦天啊 Ben 谢谢你
Oh, my God, Ben. Thank you.
哦不不我开玩笑的
Oh. No, no. I was kidding.
哦是啊
Oh, yeah.
好吧继续讲啊
All right. Go ahead.
什么
What?
你要教育我说Andy和我怎么需要生孩子
ou're gonna lecture me about how Andy and I should have kids.
你会是那种 "他们好棒啊他们改变你的生活
ou're gonna be like, "They're so great. They change your life.
"然后是的他们会把你逼疯
"And, yes, they drive you nuts,
"但是全都值了为了那些美妙和伟大
"but it's all worth it for the beauty and the majesty
"以及他们清早小脸上的感激之类之类之类狗叫"
"and the glory of their little faces in the morning and blah, blah, blah, and bark."
你知道为什么这事不公平吗因为你们太幸运了
ou know why it's so unfair? Because you guys got so lucky.
你们就做了一次爱然后就生了三个孩子
ou had sex one time, and you had three kids,
而他们都就聪明优秀又健康
and they're all, like, smart and great and healthy.
你觉得那是我们唯一一次做♥爱♥啊 - 是啊
You think that's the only time we had sex? - Yes!
而现在你们的生活完美了而我们的生活已经很完美了
And now your lives are perfect, but our life is pretty perfect already.
而且你猜怎么着
And you know what?
孩子和父母的表现完全相反所以你们的孩子才那么酷的
Kids act the opposite of their parents, so that's why your kids are so cool.
但Andy和我已经很酷了所以我们的孩子就会就真的没劲而奇怪
But Andy and I are cool already, so our kids will be, like, really lame and weird.
对不起我就是不知道该怎么做了
I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do.
请告诉我怎么做啊我要怎么做啊
Please tell me what to do. What do I do?
不是为了试着让你的生活变完美
It's not about trying to make your life perfect.
没有人的生活是完美的
Nobody's lives are perfect.
你们生孩子是因为你和Andy是一队的
ou have kids because you and Andy are a team,
而你想带来一些新的团队成员
and you want to bring in some new team members.
所以你觉得我们应该吗
So you think we should?
我不知道你们应不应该生我真不知道
I don't know if you should have kids. I really don't.
但我确实喜欢你们这支队伍
But I do like your team.
万圣节一年后
好了 Ludgate女士我们很接近了
All right, Ms. Ludgate. We're getting close.
宝你现在比我见过的样子都要美
Babe, you look more beautiful right now than I have ever seen you.
哇
Wow.
能在万圣节分娩真是你运气好
Just your luck that you're going into labor on Halloween.
我能来个温毛巾把妆洗掉吗
Can I get a warm towel to get that makeup off?
不我想要妆
No! I want it on!
这就是重点啊我是分娩之后才上的妆
That's the whole point. I put the makeup on after I went into labor.
只要能炸开你的裙子就行
Whatever blows your skirt up.
好了准备好用力了吗
Okay. You ready to push?
等等不宝我的出生混音 - 哦
Wait. No. Babe, my birth mix. - Oh.
宫缩要来了你准备好了吗
Here comes a contraction. Are you ready?
好了我准备好了我们来吧
Okay, I'm ready. Let's do this.
Bobby Boris Pickett - Monster Mash
他做了土豆泥 (他做了怪物土豆泥)
He did the mash He did the monster mash
怪物土豆泥 (那可是墓地的大成功)
The monster mash It was a graveyard smash
他做了土豆泥 (它马上就大受欢迎)
He did the mash It caught on in a flash
他做了土豆泥 (他做了怪物土豆泥)
He did the mash He did the monster mash
从我东边城♥堡♥的实验室里...
From my laboratory in the castle east...
小Burt Macklin
Burt Macklin Jr.?
嗯我们需要一个万圣节角度
Mm. We need a Halloween angle.
那恶魔孩子宝宝撒旦Dwyer
How about Demon Spawn Baby Satan Dwyer?
哦我喜欢是啊
Oh, I like that. Yeah.
或者呃...
Or, uh...
可能Burt 蛇洞 Ludgate
Maybe Burt Snakehole Ludgate...
空手道德古拉 Macklin 恶魔南瓜灯 Dwyer
Karate Dracula Macklin Demon Jack-o'-Lantern Dwyer?
我们简称叫Jack
We call him Jack for short?
真是个美丽的宝宝啊
What a beautiful baby.
他名叫Jack
His name is Jack.
挺强壮的名字啊
Strong name.
听着如果有机会的话能帮我签下这些文件吗
Listen, when you get a chance, would you sign these documents for me?
我马上回
I'll be back.
哦嘿稍等一下
Oh. Hey. Hold on a second.
S医生 - 怎么 - 嘿嗯...
Dr. S. - Yes? - Hey. Um...
这上面写着宝宝出生于11月1号♥早上12:06 - 嗯哼
It says on here that the baby was born November 1st, 12:06 a.m. - Mm-hmm.
我在想你能不能改成万圣节晚上11:59呢
I was wondering if you could change that to 11:59 on Halloween?
不能做到
No can do.
我是个医生我有特定的道德责任的
I'm a doctor. I have certain ethical responsibilities.
是啊是啊我-我理解的
eah, yeah. I-I get it.
只是万圣节对我老婆非常的重要
It's just that Halloween is very important to my wife.
所以能拜托你就记下那个宝宝是万圣节出生的吗
So could you please just mark down that the baby was born on Halloween?
我在点评网上给你个好评啊
I'll give you a good review on Yelp.
我不行
I can't.
医生
Doctor.
非常仔细地听我说
Listen to me very carefully.
我不知道你是谁或者你想要什么
I don't know who you are or what you want,
但我有一系列的特定技能...
but I have a particular set of skills...
从一段非常长的职业生涯中获得的技能...
Skills that I have acquired over a very long career...
让我对你这样的人成为噩梦的技能
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
那是《飓风营救》里的独白吗
Is that the monologue from "Taken"?
我的儿子是在万圣节出生的你听懂了吗
My son was born on Halloween. Do you understand?
是的懂了
es, I do.
那也太棒了谢谢
That's awesome. Thank you.
是啊祝贺 - 行
Yeah. Congratulations. - Yeah.
嘿吼哦
Hey! Ho! Oh.
嗨哦我想尖叫但我不想吵醒我的教子
Hi. Oh, I want to scream. But I don't want to wake up my godchild.
我假设他是我的教子对吧我们可以后面再聊
I'm assuming it's my godchild, right? We can talk about it later.
祝贺啊你们
Congrats, guys.
我知道他出生意外的早但他能在Pawnee出生挺酷的
I know it came unexpectedly early, but pretty cool he was born in Pawnee.
这些我放哪儿
Where do I put these?
我礼物太多了太奇怪了
I have so many presents, it's weird.
好耶
es!
哦给宝宝的吗