公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S07E05
Part 1
Feb. 20, 2024, 1:47 p.m.
打败Gryzzl的方法
别想了 不可能的
Forget it. It's impossible.
一百万年都行不通的 没意义的 我放弃了
It's not gonna work in a million years. It's pointless. I give up.
态度不错啊 亲爱的
Good attitude, honey.
嗯 你知道 你想要我怎么做呢
Well, you know, what do you want from me?
我试着让一群人把他们的土地送给我
I'm trying to get a group of people to give me their land,
而不是以九千万美元的价格卖♥♥给Gryzzl
rather than sell it to Gryzzl for $90 million.
现在 我基本的论据就是
Right now, my basic argument is,
"拜托 把地给我们啊 会很好的"
"Please, give us the land. It would be so nice."
Gryzzl有上十亿美元 我没办法打败他们的
Gryzzl has billions of dollars. There's no way I beat them.
嘿 我见你打赢过更难的仗啊
Hey, I've seen you beat tougher odds than this.
但他们只是个公♥司♥ 他们没那么有能力
But they're just a company, they're not that powerful.
哇 "开门"吗
Whoa! "Open your door"?
啊 天啊 Ben 我们要死了
Ah! Oh, my God, Ben! We're about to die.
老天啊 - 哦我的--
Good lord! - Oh, my--
机器人打上门来了
The robots have come for us.
你说会发生的时候我开你玩笑 但你的小说要成真了
I made fun of you when you said it would happen but your novel has come true.
嘿 Leslie Knope
Hey, Leslie Knope!
请享用这份免费礼物吧 由Gryzzl赠送
Please enjoy this free gift, courtesy of Gryzzl.
好吧 所以他们还有一整个
Okay, so they also have a squadron
机器人飞行编队 给所有人送礼物
of flying robots giving presents to everyone.
回见 - 我们完蛋了
Later! - We're screwed.
公园
与
游憩
公园
与
游憩
第7季 第5集
第7季 第5集
我们正在研究的新菜 告诉我你的想法
New dish we're working on. Tell me what you think.
这是一份红与白祖传红豆意面
It's a red and white heirloom red bean pasta,
加上进口托斯卡纳核桃香草酱
with an imported Tuscan walnut herb sauce,
注入了历史遗产的绵羊奶酪
infused with shaved heritage Pecorino Romano.
啥 你已经吃完了 - 嗯
What? You're done? - Mmm.
真的好 你们为啥要发明新菜啊
Really good. Why are you doing new dishes?
Lucy在芝加哥见她的男友Conrad
Lucy is visiting her boyfriend Conrad in Chicago,
所以我就试着用工作分心
so I'm just trying to distract myself with work
所以不会想到他们可能的马拉松床上狂欢了
so I don't think about the marathon bone sesh they're probably having.
嘿 你猜怎么着 哥们 你得从他们身上分心 看看这个
Hey, you know what, dude? You gotta take your mind off of them. Check this out.
是份合同
It's a contract.
它来自我做那个Johnny Karate节目的电视台经理
It came from the station manager where I do my show, Johnny Karate.
他想让我签字 但这上面说他们会拥有Johnny Karate这个角色
He wants me to sign it, but is says that they'll own the character, "Johnny Karate."
而我想拥有Johnny Karate这个角色 因为那是我
And I want to own the character Johnny Karate, 'cause it's me.
等等 这上面说他们一周只给你付一百块吗
Wait, this says they only pay you a hundred bucks a week?
是啊 但我做的只是整天晃荡啊
Yeah, but all I really do is goof around all day.
编写 制♥作♥和导演一部电视节目
Write, produce, and direct a TV show.
此外 我还主演 而且我做布景 道具 服装
Plus, I act in it, and I do sets, props, wardrobe.
最后 我开车送所有人回家 所以我觉得
At the end, I drive everybody home, so I mean,
一周一百块--挺公平的了
a hundred bucks a week-- that's pretty fair.
这也太完美了 我会当你的代理人
This is perfect. I'll be your agent!
我把所有精力都用在跟你重新谈判合同上
I'll put all my energy into renegotiating your contract.
我甚至不会想Lucy和Conrad
I won't even think about Lucy and Conrad
还有他可能会做的愚蠢的仰卧起坐
and his stupid crunches that he probably does.
我可能应该做几个仰卧起坐了
I should probably do some crunches.
开始吧
Let's go!
嗷 Andy 我的肚肚
Ow! Andy, my tum tum!
Knope 我需要跟你聊聊 - 怎么了
Knope, I need to talk to you. - What's up?
我知道我实际上是给Gryzzl打工的 但这些蠢货已经越界了
I know I technically work for Gryzzl, but these fools have crossed a line.
你们收到这些Gryzzl盒子了吗
Have you gotten one of these GryzzlBoxes?
嗯 是啊 但我还没打开
Well, yeah, but I haven't opened it yet.
打算送回去 在我写一封严厉措辞 表示不能被免费礼物收买♥♥的信之后
Planning on sending it back after I wrote a sternly-worded letter about how I cannot be bought with free gifts.
这些是我的免费礼物
These are my free gifts.
两只蜂蜜熊...
Two honey bears...
还有一罐甜李子
and a canister of sugar plums.
"蜂蜜熊"和"甜李子"是Joe和我彼此称呼的特殊名字
"Honeybear" and "Sugar Plum" are the special names Joe and I call each other.
喔
Aww.
是啊 我们很可爱 但这有点怪异了
Yeah, we're adorable, but this is creepy.
因为我们只在电♥话♥或者短♥信♥里彼此这么叫
Because we only call each other these things on the phone or in texts.
他们是怎么知道的呢
How do they even know?
Leslie 打开那个他们送给你的盒子
Leslie, open that box they sent you.
哦 乔拜登的书 《拜登轨道:
Ooh! Joe Biden's book, "Biden the Rails:
1001首我在美铁东北走廊启发而作的诗歌♥》
1001 Poems Inspired by My Travels Through Amtrak's Northeast Corridor."
一千首吗
A thousand?
一张最高法♥院♥法官啜饮《老友记》奶昔的海报
A poster of the Supreme Court Justices sipping the Friends milkshake!
这玩意儿对我太完美了
This stuff is perfect for me.
是啊 正是 他们肯定做了数据挖掘
Yeah, exactly. They must be data-mining.
在我们的短♥信♥和邮件里搜索 收集我们所有人的资料
Searching our texts and emails and gathering profiles on all of us.
这可是严重的隐私侵犯 更不用说是违法的了
This is a huge invasion of privacy, not to mention illegal.
当他们在镇上装免费WiFi的时候
When they installed their free Wi-Fi in town,
我确认了有条文避免这种事情的
I made sure that there was language preventing this.
我永远不会同意跟他们合作
I never would have agreed to work with them
如果我知道他们会窥视我的东西
if I had known they were gonna be snooping in my biz.
Gryzzl要完蛋了 你们想让我爆♥炸♥吗
Gryzzl is going down. You wanna put me on blast?
我会把你们放上前街的
I'ma put you on Front Street.
疑似Gorillaz / MF DOOM - 《November Has Come》歌♥词
我不理解那是什么意思
I don't understand what that means,
但我觉得我懂上下文了 我爱死了
but I think I get the context, and I love it.
April 公园部新实习今天开始
April, the new Parks interns start today,
而我在想你能不能发表欢迎演讲
and I was wondering if you would deliver a little welcome speech.
不行 走开
No, go away.
西瓜马丁尼 裸♥露♥砖墙 Keri Russell的头发
Watermelon martinis, exposed brick, Keri Russell's hair.
你为啥刚说了这些奇怪的东西啊
Why did you just say those weird things?
在我的咨♥询♥师Richard Nygard的建议下
On the advice of my therapist, Dr. Richard Nygard,
只要想大喊的时候 我就深呼吸
whenever I feel like yelling, I just take a deep breath
然后说三件活着的好事
and say three great things about being alive.
恶心 - 请跟我的实习生们聊聊
Gross. - Please talk to my interns.
好吧 无所谓了 我做
Fine. Whatever, I'll do it.
我20岁的时候从这里开始的 而现在我又老又恶心又没方向
I started here when I was 20, and now I'm old and gross and directionless.
那些孩子们是十年前的我
Those kids are me ten years ago,
而这个实习机会就是《午夜凶铃》里的录像带
and this internship is the videotape from The Ring.
对我来说太晚了 我已经见到太多了
It's too late for me. I've seen too much.
但可能我能拯救他们
But maybe I can save them.
你们都会死在这儿的
You're all gonna die in here!
大家好 我们今天在此是讨论Gryzzl
Hello, everyone. We are here today to discuss Gryzzl,
以及他们是不是侵犯了我们的隐私
and whether or not they are invading our privacy.
他们给我丈夫寄了三盒生殖器霜到他办公室
They sent my husband three boxes of genital cream to his office.
我丈夫有斑点的生殖器和任何人无关
My husband's splotchy genitals are no one's business,
除了他 我以及他的很多位生殖器医生
except for his, mine, and his many genital doctors.
他们给我送了一堆穿得像影星的玩具猪
They sent me a bunch of toy pigs dressed like movie stars.
那是我的私人爱好
That's my private hobby.
没人知道我收集像影星的玩具猪
No one knows I collect toy pigs dressed like movie stars,
除了现在的你们所有人
except now all of you people.
那只是谁呢
Which one is that?
这实际上是塞缪"耳"·L·杰克逊
This is actually Ham-uel L. Jackson
塞缪尔·L·杰克逊
在电影《低"猪"小说》里的形象 它非常的罕见 我会留着的
from the movie, Pork Fiction, it's extremely rare, and I am keeping it.
《低俗小说》
但还是 他们没有权利给我让我一生珍藏的东西
But still, they no right to give me something I will treasure the rest of my life.
我在我所有朋友面前打开了我的盒子
I opened my box in front of all of my friends,
里面是一堆佛吉尼亚伍尔芙的小说
and it was a bunch of Virginia Woolf novels.
现在Miley和Haley知道我喜欢看书了
Now Miley and Haley know I like to read.
要是她们告诉Evan怎么办
What if they tell Evan?
我喜欢他们的手♥机♥
I like their phones,
但他们把这些东西送上我们家已经太过分了
but they've gone too far sending this stuff to our houses.
Gryzzl没有权利搜索我们的隐私数据
Gryzzl has no right to search our private data.
所以等等
So wait,
你们在这事上不反对我们吗
you guys are not against us on this?
我们在这事上不反对你们
We're not against you on this.
我们在这事上不反对你们
We're not against you on this.
我们在这事上不反对你们
We're not against you on this.
终于 在搜寻打败Gryzzl方式的几个月之后
Finally, after months of searching for a way to defeat Gryzzl,
我们找到它的阿喀琉斯之踵了
we have found its Achilles' heel.
这个镇支持我们 Donna在我们这一边
The town is behind us, Donna is on our side,
而下一片落下的多米诺骨牌呢
and the next domino to fall?
Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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