公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S07E01
Part 3
Feb. 20, 2024, 1:47 p.m.
So. It's just a fun group.
晚上好 欢迎来到Pawnee两百年庆典
Good evening, and welcome to the Pawnee Bicentennial Gala.
不久之前 这个镇在地图上还没什么存在感
Not long ago, this town was barely on the map.
除非你说的是最肥胖宠物城市的地图
Unless you were talking about a map of the cities with the most obese pets.
但然后 一个伟大的男人的出现 鼓舞了我们所有人
But then, one great man came along and he lifted all of us up.
而那个男人就是我 Tom Haverford
And that man was me. Tom Haverford.
轻松时尚的 装满名人的意大利餐厅 Tom小酒馆的店主和所有人
Owner and proprietor of the effortlessly chic, celebrity-packed Italian restaurant, Tom's Bistro.
以及其他几家机构 - Ron 你怎么能啊
And several other establishments. - Ron? How could you?
我不过是拿了一根虾串 然后在上面加了更多的虾
I simply took a skewer for one shrimp and added many shrimp to it.
长度够串下五只或者六只
They're long enough for five or six.
你先是想偷走我的公园 然后现在你偷走我的团队
First you try to steal my park and now you steal my team?
我没偷走他们
I didn't steal them.
他们是独♥立♥的人 只是转向了更好的事情 就像你一样
They're independent people who have moved onto better things, just like you did.
培根包虾 我在这根上挤进了七只
Bacon-wrapped shrimp. I fit seven on this one.
这是个杰作
It's a masterpiece.
你为啥不把它们都塞进你的蠢嘴
Why don't you shove them all in your dumb mouth
然后当我转过身 你就能把签子戳我背上了
and then when I turn around, you can stab me in the back with the skewer?
人们找上我然后会说
People come up to me and they say things like,
Tom 在你成就了这么多之后
Tom, given all that you've accomplished,
要保持谦逊很难吗
is it hard to stay humble?
而我会说...我不是这样
And I say... not for me.
我保持谦逊的能力还是挺厉害的
I'm pretty amazing at being humble.
但 说够我自己了
But, enough about me.
女士们先生们 有请
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
Pawnee 2017年度人物 Ben Wyatt先生
Pawnee's man of the year 2017, Mr. Ben Wyatt.
谢谢你 谢谢
Thank you. Thanks.
感谢Tom发表这么感动的颂词 对你自己
And thank you to Tom for that moving tribute to you.
也感谢男孩女孩俱乐部做了栩栩如生的纸糊塑像
And thank you to the boys and girls club for the incredibly lifelike paper-mache statue.
你们知道 当我最初搬到这里--
You know, when I first moved here--
哦 呃 我猜吃蛋糕的时候到了
Oh, uh. I guess it's time for cake?
好吧 太好了 时机 完美
Okay. Great. Perfect. Timing.
哦 要不这样
Oh, how about this?
我们把灯关掉 重新打开 所有人的高档珠宝都没了
We shut off the lights, turn 'em back on, everybody's fancy jewelry is missing.
同时 你跟我已经上了去机场的船
Meanwhile, you and I are already on a boat to the airport.
我们在所有通风口放臭气弹
Let's put stink bombs in all the vents.
好 - 等等 不行
Yes. - Wait, no.
我忘了 你照顾Leslie的孩子之前我扔掉了所有的臭气弹
I forgot. I got rid of all the stink bombs before you babysat Leslie's kids.
当负责成年人真是狗屁
Being responsible adults sucks butts.
屁 就是这个了 我裸奔穿过舞台
Butts, that's it. I'll streak across the stage.
好 我爱了
Yes, I love it.
我要脱♥光♥ 我要到上面去
I'm gonna get naked. I'm gonna get up there.
所有人会看到我的香肠
Everyone is gonna see my weiner.
我是说 你看到过啊 你知道它看起来有多蠢
I mean, you've seen it. You know how dumb it looks.
嗯哼 - 计划完美
Uh-huh. - Perfect plan.
你为啥要来这啊
Why are you even here?
你为这个城市做过什么了
What have you ever done for this city?
我的公♥司♥刺♥激♥了Pawnee的经济
My company has stimulated Pawnee's economy.
你只是依旧因为晨星而不开心
You're just still upset about Morning Star.
我说过永远别对我说那两个字的
I told you to never say that word to me.
没人应该把那个词大声说出来
No one should ever say that word out loud.
就像伏地魔 或者Ron
It's like Voldemort. Or Ron.
你猜怎么着 你不配拿那根蜡烛
You know what? You don't deserve that candle.
蜡烛给我 - 放手 放手
Gimme that candle! - Let go. Let go.
蜡烛是我的 - 不 蜡烛给我
This candle's mine. - No, give me this candle.
你偷我队伍 我偷你蜡烛
You steal my team, I steal your candle.
我什么都没偷
I stole nothing.
伙计们 - 我要了 - Leslie
Guys? - I want it! - Leslie.
停下
Stop!
没事的 一切都好
It's okay. Everything's fine.
把备用蛋糕推出来就行
Just wheel out the backup cake.
没有备用蛋糕啊
There is no backup cake.
谁会没有备用蛋糕啊
Who doesn't bake a backup cake?
好吧 那就明确了
Okay, well that seals it.
连Leslie都比我们更疯
Even Leslie is crazier than we are.
他们还是会招待那个蛋糕的 对吧
They're still gonna serve that cake, right?
然后我说 呃 你可能想要和企鹅商量一下
And then I said, uh, you might want to check with the penguin.
我听懂了
I get it.
你们Gryzzl人真是太幽默了
You Gryzzl guys are a real hoot.
而且你们还有那么多的钱 - 谢谢你 Jessie
And you have so much money. - Thanks, Jessie.
而且 嘿 享用那个新的Gryzzl平板原型吧 哈
And, hey, enjoy that new prototype Gryzzl tablet, huh?
我会的 我就是太爱它了
I will. I just love it.
谢谢你 Jessica 我也爱你
Thank you, Jessica. I love you too.
我爱你的皮肤 把你的皮肤给我
I love your skin. Give me your skin.
哦 - 人工智能软件还有几个小漏洞
Oh. - There's still a couple bugs with the A.I. software.
但 呃 或许睡前把它关掉就可以了
But, uh, maybe just turn it off before you go to sleep.
好了 Donna 我们出发
All right, Donna. Let's hit it.
准备搞点美趾甲 - 好
About to get some peddies. - Okay.
美甲加美甲加美甲
Peddies on peddies on peddies.
好了 你是下一个
Okay. You're next.
你好 Ron
Hello, Ron.
我只想让你知道我不为
I just want you to know that I am not sorry
把你推进巨型蛋糕的事情抱歉
that I pushed you into a giant cake.
嗯 我很抱歉
Well, I am sorry.
我参加了一场公共活动
That I attended a public event.
哟 Ron 来吧 哥们
Yo, Ron? Come on, bud.
我们要去玩点游戏 然后想让你静静地看着
We're gonna go play some video games and we want you to watch quietly.
竞标价格 320万美元
在我们送去租客保险表之后
After we drop off the renter's insurance forms,
我们需要去百货店停一下
we need to stop by the grocery store.
然后我们需要签一个自杀契约
And then we need to sign a suicide pact,
因为我们的生活毫无意义
because our lives are meaningless.
宝 我们可不是无聊的人
Babe, we are not boring people.
无聊的人会买♥♥租客保险吗
Would boring people get renter's insurance,
虽然它不是法律要求的
even though it's not legally required?
我们在哪啊
Where are we?
我从没来过Pawnee的这个部分
I have never once been to this part of Pawnee.
这是怪异仓库地区
It's the creepy warehouse district.
这里基本上就是浣熊和旧汽车电池
It's mostly just raccoons and old car batteries.
哇 等等 靠边停
Whoa, hang on. Pull over.
看看那个啊
Look at that.
这地方也太棒了 - 我们进去吧
This place is amazing. - Let's go in.
咋啦 玩家
What up, playa?
只想为我的介绍过长道个歉
Just wanted to apologize for my intro running long.
但是 呃 你知道 如果到了启发性的Will Smith台词
But, uh, you know. When it comes to inspirational Will Smith quotes,
怎么能在十条就停下呢
how are you gonna stop at ten?
你知道 商会一开始找你介绍我
You know, when the chamber of commerce asked you to introduce me,
我就有点担心你会用全部时间聊你自己
I was a little worried you would spend the entire time talking about yourself,
结果正是你做的
which is exactly what you did.
对不起
I'm sorry.
事实是 他们没找我介绍你
Truth is, they didn't ask me to introduce you.
是我问他们我能不能做的
I asked them if I could do it.
我本来要聊我欠你多少
I was gonna talk about how I owe you so much.
你陪伴支持我度过我所有的失败
How you stood by me through all my failures
而我陪伴支持你度过你所有的糟糕着装
and I stood by you through all your terrible outfits.
但等我上台的时候 我变得挺情绪化了
But when I got up there, I got pretty emotional.
为了补偿你 我现在想给你读这篇演讲稿
To make it up to you, I'd like to read you the speech now.
我一生中认识很多浪子
I've known a lot of ballers in my day.
但没人比我即将请上台的人浪得更尽力
But no man balls harder than the man I'm about to bring up.
他很善良 他很智慧
He's kind, he's intelligent.
他是我称为朋友并深以为傲的一个人
He's a person I'm deeply proud to call my friend.
挺好的演讲 我是说 它有点 呃....
Pretty good speech. I mean, it was, um...
有点伤感了 或许
a little sappy, maybe.
我觉得我很喜欢
I think I liked it.
Jessica Nelson先生
Jessica, Mr. Nelson.
你们今天会听到很多竞价
You are going to hear a lot of bids today.
但这是唯一一个真正重要的
But this is the only one that matters.
这是个圈吗
Is this a circle?
或者 是个"O"
Or, is it an "O"?
Oprah参与了你们的竞价吗
Is Oprah involved in your bid?
是零
It's a zero.
我出价0美元
I bid zero dollars.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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