公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S07E02
Part 4
Feb. 20, 2024, 1:47 p.m.
Tammy happened to him!
让你想到谁了吗 Ron
Remind you of anyone, Ron?
你认识这张浮肿的脸吗
Do you recognize the puffy face?
这弓着背的惨状
The hunched-over misery?
这死了的 但不知怎么 还是很疯的眼神
The dead, yes somehow, still crazy eyes?
我们需要搁置我们的问题 保护这个悲惨的人类
We need to put our issues aside and defend this miserable person.
Jeremy 这是根金条
Jeremy, this is a gold bar.
你把那放在你桌子里啊
You keep that in your desk?
如果你不奉承地说一件关于Tammy的事 我就把金条给你
I will give you this gold bar if you say one unflattering thing about Tammy.
如果我这么做...
If I do...
Tammy能留下金条吗
does Tammy get to keep the gold?
哦天啊
Oh, my God.
当面临Tammy的时候 准则和战场上的一样
When it comes to Tammy, the code is the same as that of the battlefield:
首先是不让任何人掉队
First, you leave no man behind.
第二 你必须保护自己免受化学战袭击
Second, you must protect yourself against chemical warfare.
Tammy可不会遵守《日内瓦公约》
Tammy does not abide by the Geneva convention.
我做了这套Tammy解毒装备
I made this Tammy de-programming kit
以防我再次成为她的受害者
in case I ever fell victim to her again.
首先 这是我亲手制♥作♥的一条贞操带
First, this is a chastity belt that I made by hand.
它可能对你来说大了几个尺码 但你可以垫上
It might be a couple sizes too big for you, but you can just pad it.
第一步是停止一切性生活
The first step is to cut out all sex.
那就没必要了 我们还没干那事呢
That won't be necessary. We haven't done the deed yet.
她偶尔让我摩擦她的腿
She lets me rub up against her leg sometimes.
嗯 那就更有理由戴这个了
Well, all the more reason to wear it.
她知道她还有这张牌可以打
She knows she has that card left to play,
而你最好相信她会打的
and you best believe she will.
我们还要尝试一种巴甫洛夫方法
We're also gonna try a Pavlovian technique.
Ron拿着的是Tammy的香水 "腰围"
Ron is holding Tammy's perfume, Girth.
哦
Oh.
哦 闻起来不错 哦
Oh, smells good. Oh!
再来
Again.
Tammy 哦
Tammy. Oh!
我们要做多少次啊
How many times are we gonna do this?
直到这个瓶子空掉 再来
Until the bottle is empty. Again.
Tammy...
Tammy...
Tammy现在救不了你了
Tammy can't save you now!
她在哪啊 我想要她
Where is she? I want her!
再来
Again.
两次
Twice.
Tam--啊
Tam-- Ahh!
啊
Ahh!
目前情况不错 但判断还为时尚早
It's going well so far, but it's too early to tell.
哦 - 他已经陷得太深了
Oh. - He was pretty far gone.
希望我们今天能有尸体进来
Hopefully we get a body in today,
我就能给你们展示真正好玩的部分
so I can show you guys the really fun part:
排水 - 哦 天 我太讨厌这些了
Draining. - Oh, God. I hate this so much.
酷哦 我能摸尸体吗
Cool. Can I touch a dead body?
哇哇哇 慢点 着急的海狸
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, eager beaver.
至少一年之后才能发生呢
That doesn't happen for at least a year.
为啥啊 你是怎么成为殡仪从业者的
Why? How did you become a mortician?
我不能就报个名吗 - 哦 天 不行
Can't I just sign up? - Oh, gosh, no.
你需要上两年的学和一年的实习经验
You need two years of school and a year-long apprenticeship.
前几年基本上是文书和归档
First few years are mostly paperwork and filing.
恶 为啥每个工作都只是文书啊
Ugh! Why is every job just paperwork?
嘿 是为了生活嘛
Hey, it's a living.
懂了吗 - 对哦 因为我们被死亡围绕 这也太好玩了
Get it? - Right. 'Cause we're surrounded by death. This is fun.
是啊 我觉得我们就要走了 Dan
Yeah, I think we're just gonna go, Dan.
呃 你生活的现实极其令人沮丧
Um, the reality of your life is incredibly depressing.
我就呆在我现在的工作
I'm just gonna stay at my current job
直到我老了死了然后到这来被什么怪人做防腐
until I get old and die and then end up here being embalmed by some weirdo
那人还需要上三年的学只为把我的内脏切开
who had to go to school for three years just to cut my guts open.
我们走 - 哦 谢天谢地
Let's go. - Oh, thank God.
好 再见了
Okay. Have a good one.
我得说 和Lucy相处也太有趣了
I gotta say, hanging out with Lucy's been so fun.
她是最棒的 - 我爱她给我们买♥♥这么多东西啊
She's the best. - And I love that she's buying us stuff!
大哥 行动吧 约她出来
Dude, make your move. Ask her out.
我不知道啊 她住在这呢 怎么能行得通啊
I dunno, she lives here. How would it even work?
生活就是要冒险啊 看看我 Tom
Life is about taking risks. Look at me, Tom.
我要搬来芝加哥了
I'm moving to Chicago!
现在只有我俩了 你真觉得你要搬来这里吗
It's just us right now. Do you really think you're moving here?
一件加加大 一件童装加大
One XXL, one kid's XL.
嘿 你还记得我的尺码呢 - 是啊
Hey! You remembered my size! - Yeah.
谢谢你 - 不用谢
Thank you. - You're welcome.
嘿 Lucy 我能问你件事吗
Hey, Lucy, can I ask you something?
当然 怎么 - 我在想你可能愿不愿意...
Of course, what's up? - I was wondering would you wanna maybe...
来Pawnee为我工作呢
Come work for me in Pawnee?
我有个公♥司♥ 成长得很快 我没法自己全部搞定
I got the company and it's growing so fast, I can't do it all myself.
而我需要一个经理 你是个完美的候选人
And I need a manager, and you're a perfect candidate.
哇 真的吗
Wow, really?
那确实听起来挺棒的
That does sound kinda awesome.
而跟你工作肯定是超级有趣
And it'd be super fun to work with you.
我是说 我得先和我男朋友聊聊 但是...
I mean, I'd have to talk to my boyfriend about it first, but...
行啊 当然
Yeah, of course!
这都太完美了 所有事情正如我预料一样成了
This is all perfect, and everything's worked out just as I'd hoped.
嘿 因为这他们才叫做"豆镇"的 哈
Hey, this is why they call it Beantown, huh?
"豆镇"是波士顿
好吧 我们要来演几个场景
Okay, we're gonna do some scenes
来示范你能抵抗Tammy的方式
and demonstrate ways that you can resist Tammy.
我来演Tammy Ron来演你
I will play Tammy. Ron will play you.
你好啊 小马马
Hey there, horsey.
是时候骑上来前往勃起镇了
Time to mount up and ride on into Bonertown.
我们去那个宠物商店洗手间臭一下怎么样
What do you say we get stanky in that pet store bathroom?
哈 Jamm 嗯 哈 哈 - 做啊
Huh, Jamm? Hmm? Huh? Huh? - Do it.
今天没有性♥爱♥了 Tammy - 哦
There will be no sex today, Tammy. - Oh.
反而 你为啥不滚进那家宠物商店把自己喂给蛇呢
Instead, why don't you go into the pet store and feed yourself to the snakes?
下地狱吧 女人 再见
To hell with you, woman. Good-bye.
嘿 你这大块的香肠肉
Hey, you big hunk of wiener meat.
我有40块擦手巾 一些能量棒 和一个中式指套
I've got 40 handtowels, some energy bars, and a Chinese finger trap.
我们来犯恶心吧
Let's get gross.
这个策略失败了
This gambit has failed.
下地狱吧 女人 再见
To hell with you, woman. Good-bye.
你戴的是什么啊 - 是我自己设计的裆部障眼罩
What are you wearing? - It's a crotch-blinder of my own design.
这种场景下 她会不♥穿♥裤子向你冲来
In this scenario, she will be coming at you pants-less.
好吧
Okay.
门都锁上了 窗户安全了
Doors are locked. Window is secured.
Tammy是没办法进来的
There is no way Tammy's getting in here.
Jamm 脱♥光♥吧 你这只性♥爱♥蛆
Jamm. Strip down, you sex maggot.
暂停
And hold!
你犯了什么错误
What was your mistake?
你没检查衣柜
You didn't check the armoire.
Tammy曾经在我的阁楼扎营六天等我到来
Tammy once camped out in my attic for six days awaiting my arrival.
她靠老鼠和雨水活着
She survived on rats and rainwater.
我们再来一次
Let's run it again!
嗯 无意冒犯 但你今天有点搞砸了
Well, no offense, but you kind of pooched it today.
不 我没有
No, I didn't.
她有男朋友了 她反正也不会跟我出来的
She has a boyfriend, she wouldn't have gone out with me anyway.
我来这里是为了找到爱情伴侣 结果反而找到了工作搭档
I came here to find a love partner, and instead I found a business partner.
你知道还有谁一开始是工作搭档吗
You know who else started off as business partners?
Ben and Jerry
Ben and Jerry.
冰淇淋品牌
他们现在有超过一千种口味了
They now have over 1,000 flavors.
最棒的 我需要补充 就是矮胖猴子
The greatest of which, might I add, is Chunky Monkey.
香蕉冰淇淋加巧克力块和核桃碎
所以回答你的问题 是的
So to answer your question, yes.
是的 我们现在就该去买♥♥Ben & Jerry
Yes, we should go get Ben & Jerry's right now.
不 我们会错过航♥班♥的 出租
No, we're gonna miss our flight. Taxi!
你没看到其中联♥系♥吗
Don't you see the connection?
Lucy很棒 我们会一起工作 她有男友 故事结束
Lucy's great, we're gonna work together, she has a boyfriend, end of story.
故事还没结束呢
It's not end of story.
我今天看到你们就有火花的
I watched you guys today and there is a spark.
真正的魔法 就像核桃和巧克力在冰淇淋里遇上
A real magic like when walnuts meet chocolate inside of ice-cream.
Tom 我们走 - 不 进的士来
Tom, let's go! - No, get in the cab.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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