公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S07E05
Part 3
Feb. 20, 2024, 1:47 p.m.
所以实际上就是个咖啡销♥售♥app
So it's really just a coffee sales app.
是啊 - 是啊
Yeah. - Yeah.
是啊 我们和星巴克一起开♥发♥的 - 是啊
Yeah, we're developing with Starbucks. - Yeah.
所以 Roscoe Gryzzl是怎么知道一个人想要的所有东西呢
So, Roscoe, how does Gryzzl know all the things that someone wants?
你们是在...
Are you guys...
我不懂啊 无所谓了--数据挖掘吗
I don't know, whatever--data-mining?
哦 当了个然了 神探狗狗
Oh, hells yeah, dog-man.
我们超级棒的算法搜索你们所有的短♥信♥ 电♥话♥ 银行记录
Our super rad algorithm searches all your texts, calls, banking,
医疗记录 之类之类之类 学习你真正想要的东西
medical records, blah, blah, blah, to learn what you really want.
你知道 从零食到新书新电影
You know, from snacks to new books and movies
到你们女士们何时需要搞到新棉条
to when you ladies need to score some new 'pons.
我是说 我们可能比你自己更要了解你呢 Leslie
I mean, we might know you better than you know yourself, Leslie.
你是怎么知道是我的
How did you know it was me?
哦 有大概40种不同的方法吧
Oh, there's about 40 different ways.
我是说 你们各种Gryzzl设备上的地理地图
I mean, geo-maps on your different Gryzzl devices,
还有 当然 你们进来的时候我们面部扫描了
and, of course, we face-scanned you when you came in.
真的高兴你在这里 - 好吧 很好
Really glad you're here. - Okay, good.
就因为我们在为Newport土地竞争
Just 'cause we're competing for the Newport land
不代表我们不能做朋友
doesn't mean that we can't be friends.
是的 - 那不是你们的口号♥吗
No. - Isn't that your motto?
"所有人互相放松不是会很酷吗"
"Wouldn't it be tight if everyone was chill to each other?"
完全的
Totes.
而我希望你现在能看出Gryzzl没什么可怕的
And I hope that you can see now that there's nothing scary about Gryzzl.
我是说 我们只是想了解关于所有人的所有事
I mean, we just wanna learn everything about everyone
而且随地跟踪他们 预测他们想要做什么
and track them wherever they go and anticipate what they're about to do.
这些是真的很有意思的议题 Roscoe
These are really interesting issues, Roscoe.
我觉得或许我们可以辩论 你知道吗
I think maybe we could debate them, you know?
在电视上 - 电视 复古哦
On TV. - TV. Retro.
我爱了 好了
I love it. All right.
我要Gryzzl平板出门了
I'm gonna GryzzlPad out of here.
滑板模式启动
Skate mode activated.
回见 放松人们
Later, chillerz.
这是《Perdples法庭》
This is The Perdples Court,
一档关于南印第安纳居民面临问题的法律辩论节目
a legal debate show about issues facing residents of Southern Indiana.
与你们的主持人 Perd Hapley法官
With your host, Judge Perd Hapley.
免责声明: Perd法官不是真正的法官
今晚 在《Perdples法庭》上
Tonight, on The Perdples Court,
我们有预订了今晚节目的客人--
we will have the guests that have been booked for tonight's show--
起诉人 Leslie Knope 对Gryzzl有一些重大的指控
the plaintiff, Leslie Knope, who has some big allegations against Gryzzl.
被告人 Gryzzl副总裁Roscoe Santangelo
The defendant, Gryzzl Vice President Roscoe Santangelo.
谁会赢呢 我还不知道
Who will win? I don't know yet.
而让这成为了一档法庭节目
Which is what makes this a court show.
公众意见站在我们这边
We have public opinion on our side,
而我们也有Gryzzl做过数据挖掘的证据
and we have proof that Gryzzl has been data-mining.
但我们还需要一件事
But there's one more thing we need.
一件美国人比其他任何事情更尊重的事
The one thing that Americans respect more than anything else:
电视直播上的公开羞辱
Public humiliation on live television.
Leslie 别在电视上羞辱你自己了
Leslie, don't humiliate yourself on television.
Swanson 你来这里干什么啊
Swanson, what are you doing here?
这是Pawnee-Gryzzl免费无线东西协议的第27版
This is the 27th version of the Pawnee-Gryzzl free wireless internet thing agreement.
看看我标出的几页
Check out the page I marked.
是啊 "Gryzzl不允许以任何目的收集和使用用户数据"
Yeah, "Gryzzl is not allowed to collect and use customer data for any purpose."
挺清楚的啊 你看
It's pretty clear. See?
仔细看看 修订"C" 附录14
Look closer, amendment "C," addendum 14.
它指向到这个附录 然后转到这个
It directs you to this appendix, which reroutes you to this one
在其中的一个次脚注里写着
which says, in a sub-footnote:
这里说他们能以任何方式收集和使用信息
It says here they can gather and use any information they want.
我怎么就没看到这个
How did I miss this?
看看修订日期
Look at the revision date.
2015年12月18日
December 18, 2015.
那是《星球大战第七部》上映的日子啊
That was the opening day of Star Wars: Episode VII.
你在睡梦里嘟囔那个日子好几个月了
You were muttering that date in your sleep for months.
他们知道你肯定会分心 所以他们才能溜进来
They knew you'd be distracted. That's how they slipped it in.
这是我对这个镇做的 是我的错
I did this to the town. It's my fault.
又是"冰城"重演了
It's Ice Town all over again.
《星球大战》是有巫师小男孩的那个吗
Is Star Wars the one with the little wizard boy?
《哈利波特》
好吧 这是我能开出的条件
Okay, this is what I can give you.
不用再当门卫 更好的停车位
No more janitorial duties, better parking spot,
自动售货机里不限♥量♥的Mike and Ikes糖
unlimited Mike and Ikes from the vending machine,
而工资的话 我们是500一周
and for salary, we're at 500 a week.
500什么
500 whats?
美元啊 大哥
Dollars, man.
那Johnny Karate的版权呢
What about the rights to Johnny Karate?
我们拥有Johnny Karate的版权 这个我不能妥协
We own the rights to Johnny Karate. I can't bend on that one.
但是那个角色是我创造的啊 - 嗯 那就再创造一个角色
But I invented the character. - Well, invent another character.
呃 这样 功夫Billy
Uh, here you go: Kung-Fu Billy.
Jeremy拳男
Jeremy Punch-Guy.
Ed踢
Ed Kick.
那些还真的挺棒的
Those are actually pretty great.
但Johnny Karate对我很特别
But Johnny Karate is special to me.
如果我们拿不到版权 我就走人
If we can't get the rights, I'm gonna walk.
他在犯他人生中最大的错误
He's making the biggest mistake of his life.
他要从Hank Muntak这里走人了吗
He's walking out on Hank Muntak?
我有六座小湖艾美奖
I have six Lower Great Lakes Emmy Awards.
五大湖地区艾美奖Great Lakes Emmy Awards的山寨版
我曾经在原版蝙蝠车里坐过
I once sat in the original Batmobile.
演员James Woods在推特上关注了我的侄女
James Woods follows my niece on Twitter.
他会后悔的
He's gonna regret this.
所有这些工作 所有我为这个城市做的一切 现在都白费了
All this work, everything I've done for this city, it's all a wash now.
所有人又要开始讨厌我了
Everyone's gonna hate me again.
有些人已经开始了 Wyatt
Some of us are already there, Wyatt.
这不是你的错 Ron 劝他理智一点
This is not your fault. Ron, talk some sense into him.
Ben是对的 这就是冰城重演
Ben's right. This is Ice Town all over again.
我-- - Ron
I-- - Ron!
如果你要签署一份有法律约束力的文件
If you're gonna sign a legally binding document,
你需要仔细地读完
you need to read it thoroughly.
因此我唯一签过的合同
That's why the only contract I've ever signed
是我在Mulligan's牛排馆的会员卡
is my Mulligan's Steakhouse club card.
而甚至那时 我都用了假名
And even then, I used a fake name.
Les
Les.
Les蔬菜
Les Vegetables.
别担心 好吗
Don't worry, okay?
你不会为这件事背锅的
You're not gonna take the fall for this.
Ron 保证Donna不要伤害他
Ron, make sure that Donna doesn't hurt him.
你想见我吗
You wanted to see me?
是的 能告诉我Jennifer在哪吗
Yes, can you tell me where Jennifer is?
我说服她辞职了
I convinced her to quit.
Martha Stewarts的围裙边 我的番茄苗-- 哦 天啊 我用完了
Martha Stewarts' apron line, my tomato plants-- oh, God, I'm out!
我的应急列表呢
Where is my emergency list?
最近 我一直感觉我浪费了过去十年的人生
Recently, I've been feeling like I've wasted the last ten years of my life,
而这都是从这份实习开始的
and it all started with this internship,
我不想让那些孩子重复我的错误 好吗
and I don't want those kids to make the same mistake, okay?
April 你过去十年在和这个公园部做很棒的事情
April, you spent the last ten years doing amazing things with this Parks department,
而且是在这一行以及任何行业最伟大的老师手下学习
and learning from the greatest teacher in this or any business,
Leslie他妈的Knope啊
Leslie Freaking Knope!
如果没有那份实习 你现在只能在加油站当收银小妹
You'd be a checkout girl at a gas station if it wasn't for that internship.
红薯派 难以想象的动物友谊 Jennifer Love Hewitt
Sweet potato pie, unlikely animal friend pairings, Jennifer Love Hewitt.
能在这里工作是你走运
You're lucky to have worked here,
不管你余生想做什么事情
no matter what you want to do with the rest of your life.
而我觉得你知道这一点的
And I think you know that.
现在失陪了 我得去找新的实习生了
And now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a new intern.
现在 Leslie 我了解到你带来这个节目的
Now Leslie, I understand that what you've brought to the show
不是一盒子的物体 而更是一个象征性盒子的指控
isn't a box of objects but rather a symbolic box of allegations.
Perd法官不是真正的法官
嗯 Perd-- - 是"Perd法官"
Well, Perd-- - It's "Judge Perd."
好吧 呃 我觉得有某些问题
Okay, uh, I think there are certain questions
关于这个情况某些部分的某些方面
about certain aspects of certain parts of this situation
需要一些评估 关于这是或者不是一项有效论据
that require an evaluation about whether or not this is or is not a valid argument.
表达得极其的好
Extremely well-put.
不是真法官
抱歉 Perd法官
Excuse me, Judge Perd?
我是Ben Wyatt 市政经理
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