成功镇凶案（2015）

喵呜
Meow!
你要去拉屎吗 - 我是一只漂亮的小猫咪 警长
Do you need to shit? - I'm a pretty pussy, Chief.
你肯定是 Sleet
I'm sure you are, Sleet.
忍♥一会就好了
Just hold it in for minute.
憋住了 好吗
Just hold it in, will you?
好 我会的
Yes, I will.
所以这个案子怎么样了 你们已经有线索了吗
What's going on in the case? I presume you've got some leads?
有 - 没有
Yes. - No...
有还是没有 - 有
You do? - Yes.
很好 - 没有
Good - No
好吧 也许你们能告诉我 下一步要干什么
Well, maybe you can tell me whether we're going to have...
哥们儿 说真的 我左边蛋蛋疼得厉害
Guys, seriously, I'm getting a serious pain in my left bollock.
我的鸡鸡和屁♥股♥ 我的鸡鸡和屁♥股♥疼
My willy bum, my willy bum hurts.
我才不管你的鸡鸡和屁♥股♥疼不疼
Well, I don't care if your willy bum hurts!
这不好笑 Sleet
It's not funny, Sleet.
头儿 头儿 我能说句话吗
Chief, Chief, can I say something?
不能 好吧 说吧 什么
No! Right, go on. What?
我爱你
I love you.
我爱你
I love you.
谢谢你
Well, I appreciate that,
但我觉得现在不是说这个的好时机
but I don't think this is the time to tell me that.
我爱你 - 上头已经在惩罚我了
I love you. - I am getting my arse caned upstairs,
所以我需要一个回答 快点
so I need some answers here, fast.
帅哥 帅气的牛仔男孩
Pretty boy. Pretty, pretty horsey boy.
多漂亮的蛋蛋啊
What a pretty bollo.
蛋蛋 蛋蛋
Bollo, bollo.
他吸了什么药吗
Is he on something?
没有
No...
Mark 我是认真的 你给他吃了什么吗
Mark, I'm serious, have you given him something?
没有 我保证 - 我瞎了
No, I promise, so. - I'm blind!
我瞎了 我瞎了
I'm blind! I'm blind!
我看不见了
I can't see.
啊 啊
Ah! Ah!
噢 刚刚我的眼
Oh! It was just my ey...
我闭上眼 我只是闭上眼了
I closed them, I just closed them.
刚刚就是这样 我把眼睛闭上了
That's what it was. I just closed them.
长官 我发誓 我什么都没给他 他要拉便便
Sir, I promise, I've given him nothing. He needs a poo.
所以 他到底怎么了 - 你个傻♥逼♥长颈鹿
Well, what's wrong with him? - You're a stupid giraffe!
你竟然敢这么跟我说话 你♥他♥妈♥好大的胆子
How dare you talk to me like that? How fucking dare you!
至于你 两次了 我的朋友
And you? Two strikes, my friend.
再有一次 你就三振出局了
Third strike and you're out.
你♥他♥妈♥最好把这里解决了
You'd better fucking solve this.
我什么都没做 长官 我只是
I haven't done anything, Sir, I just...
怎么了 - 第一天上岗
What? - First day on the job
你就做了这种事 我就被记过一次
and you've done this and I've lost a strike!
我都不知道发生了什么
I don't even know what happened then.
你不应该用它的 我告诉过你不要吸
You shouldn't have took it. I told you not to take it.
你之前根本没用过 你不知道用过之后会怎么样
You've never tried it before, you didn't know what it was going to do to you.
我真的断片了
I literally blacked out.
后来发生了什么 - Sleet 我知道你是我老大
What even happened then? - Sleet, I know you're my boss,
但你是个傻蛋 我要回家了
but you're an idiot. I'm going home.
Mark 别这样 嘿 只是一点点毒品而已啊
Mark, come on... Hey! It was just a bit of drugs.
你要干什么
What do you want?
怎么的 你♥他♥妈♥是能吸子弹吗
What are you? Some kind of fucking bullet magnet?
还有很多工作要做
There's work to be done.
我哪儿都不去 直到我的奶头长回来
I ain't going nowhere till my nipple grows back.
扯淡
Bollocks.
我还有一堆谋杀案都堆成狗屎了
I've got a stack of murder cases building up like dog turds.
我需要你
I need you.
好吗 - 不好
Yes? - No.
你再说一遍
I beg your pardon?
我说不要
I said no.
我不干了 头儿 我退出
I'm done, Chief. I'm out.
我辞职
I quit.
什么
What?
成功镇北部已经改变了我 头儿
North Successville has changed me, Chief.
你♥他♥妈♥在说什么
What the fuck are you talking about?
Nigella Lawson 长官
Nigella Lawson, sir.
我爱她 她也爱我
I love her and she loves me.
噢 天啊 嗯
Oh, God... Erm...
嗯
Erm...
事情是这样的 Sleet
The thing is, Sleet...
Nigella并不爱你
Nigella doesn't love you.
她甚至都不喜欢你
She doesn't even like you.
她是拿你当诱饵想抓到那个警♥察♥杀手
She was using you as bait to catch the cop killer.
她只是在执行任务
She was just doing her job.
不 收回你说的话
NO! Take that back!
我们是灵魂伴侣
We are soul mates.
我看到了她的内在
I saw inside of her.
不是在肉体方面
And not in a sexual way,
而是通过她的眼睛看到了她的内心
but through her eyes into her heart.
她是那么善良
And she was good.
那么的纯净
She was pure.
我从没遇到过像她一样美好的人
She's the only good thing I've ever known.
那她他妈现在在哪呢 嗯
Well, where the fuck is she, then, eh?
难道她
Is she, um...
正在外面悄声跟医生谈话吗
outside talking to the doctors in hushed tones?
是吗
Yes?
没有
No!
那她是在咖啡厅里
Is she sitting in the cafe
正在给你写一张"早日康复"卡片
writing you a little "Get well soon" Card
还给你买♥♥了葡萄吗
and buying you grapes?
没有
No!
你个撒谎 欺负人的死蚊子
You lying, bullying mosquito.
我需要你回来 Sleet
I need you back, Sleet.
你是我手下最好的警♥察♥
You're the best cop I have.
我是你手下唯一的警♥察♥
I'm the only cop you have.
那不重要
That's beside the point.
滚出我的房♥间
Get out of my room.
让我静一静 思考一下
Let me alone with my thoughts.
好好休息吧
Get some rest.
不 我不要
No. I don't want to.
好吧 随便你
Well, whatever.
说真的 人生充满着惊喜
By heck, life is full of surprises.
比如那次我发现我有个从未谋面的儿子
Like the time I found out I had a son that I never knew I had.
George Shelly跟我一起第一次见了他
George Shelley came with me to meet him for the first time.
呃啊
Ooh.
哎呀 天气真冷啊
Ergh, look at that, that's some cold weather.
跟自己的孩子聊一聊天气
Talking about the weather with my boy.
我和我儿子
Me and my kid.
一个我都不知道自己有的儿子
The boy I never knew I had.
我都不记得他的母亲是谁了
I can't even remember his mother.
我记不得了
I can't.
根本想不起来
I can't even remember!
嘿 孩子 嘿 孩子
Hey, boy! Hey, boy.
嘿 孩子 你是小Bobby对吧
Hey, kid. So, you're little Bobby?
我的名字是Joseph - 再也不是了
My name's Joseph. - Not any more.
Joseph是个蠢名字 是给蠢蛋起的
Joseph's a stupid name for stupid idiots.
你现在叫Bobby了 以后也是
Your name's Bobby now. Do with it what you will,
不要再叫Joseph了
but throw Joseph away.
因为我们是猛♥男♥ Sleet一家
We're strong men, the Sleets.
勇猛 善良的人
Strong, good men.
你对你的继承权有什么疑问
You got any questions about your heritage,
关于你的血统
about your lineage?
没有 - 真的吗
No. - Really?
你什么都不想知道吗 你得知道一件事
You don't you want to know anything? Well, here's one for you.
你老爸是个很酷的人
Your dad's a pretty cool guy.
他拳头很厉害
Good with his fists.
酒吧里打架的一把好手
Handy in a bar fight.
打架是这样的 如果你要打架 就咬他
Here's a fighting fact - if you're in a fight, bite.