成功镇凶案（2015）

什么
What...?
我们得把你弄出去 所以我今天才过来
We've got to get you off, that is why I came here today.
我拿到了档案 或许你会想要
I got the file. You might want this.
你最好了 Pattison
Good, you are the best, Pattison.
上面说武器
It says about the weapon
只说了是标准配发的警用左轮
and it just says it was a standard police-issue revolver.
是的 格洛克17式
Yeah, a Glock 17
我有一把这个
I've got one of those, of course.
我知道 但这看上去可不太好
I know I know, but that doesn't look good, dear
但是每个人都有啊
Yeah, but everybody's got one
它们就跟狗屎一样烂大街了
and they're all over the streets like dog shits.
还有呢 - 这是一份法医报告
Anything else? - This is a forensic report.
上面说受害人是昨晚被杀的
It says that the victim was killed last night,
凶手是开着车的
that the killer drove the car
有监控拍到了它驶向树林
because the vehicle was caught on CCTV approaching the woods.
我不可能开车的 我当时喝得烂醉
I couldn't have driven, I was drunk out of my mind.
我只记得我最后喝下去了一夸脱香料红酒
The last thing I remember is I drank a quart of mulled wine
然后又干了几杯蜂蜜酒
and then I did a couple of shots of mead.
你♥他♥妈♥是在哪儿喝的酒 在修道院吗
Where the fuck where you drinking, a monastery?
对 那儿挺酷的
Yeah, it was a pretty cool place.
修道士们不行了
Those monks go OFF.
你和我想的一样吗
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
你被陷害了 Sleet
You're getting baited up, Sleet.
没错 我也这么想
Yeah, exactly, that's what I think. .
有人想让我进监狱
Someone wanted my sweet ass in jail.
洗脱罪名的唯一方法
The only way of clearing my name is
就是我们逃出这里 一起反叛
if we bust me out of here and me and you go renegade.
我们自己找到他们 - 嗯
We hunt them down. - Uh-huh.
我得把那个傻♥逼♥警卫搞过来
I need to get that big piece of shit guard over here
好让这个派上用场
so I can use this.
这他妈是啥
What the fuck is this?
氯仿 我偷带进来的
Chloroform, I snuck it in.
我们来这么干
Here's what we do.
我们装作吵架的样子
I'm going to start staging a small argument between us.
然后你反应夸张一点 开始哭
Then you overreact, start crying,
哭着说你很想我 - 嗯
sobbing, saying how much you miss me. - Yeah.
好吧 如果你妈过来的时候稍微尊重我一点
Yeah, well, maybe if your mother showed me a little bit of respect when she came round
而不是抱怨我做的菜
instead of complaining about my food,
因为某人在家从来不做饭
because someone else won't cook at home.
行吧 你又来了
Right, OK. So there you go,
又提我妈这茬是吧
bringing up me mother, eh?
至少她还会来看看我
Well, at least she comes round.
我才不管她来了以后讲了什么
I don't care what she says when she gets there,
至少她露面了 而你家里人呢
at least she shows her face, what about your family?
他们被你吓跑了 因为你一直这么暴脾气
They're intimidated by you because you're so nasty all the time!
我不是暴脾气 我只是有话直说好吗
I am not nasty, I'm sassy, all right?
这还是有区别的
There's a difference!
行 那你告诉我有什么区别
Yeah, well, you tell me the difference
我把它写在屁♥股♥上
and I'll write it on my ass
然后给律师看好吧
and send it to the lawyers!
我会把你每分钱都卷走的 Sleet
I will take you for every penny you've got, Sleet!
我一点钱也没有
I haven't got any MONEY!
哈 那傻的是你 因为我可是有很多钱
Well, the joke's on you cos I've got loads.
真的吗 - 真的啊
Well, REALLY? - Really!
给我点吧
Let me have some!
不
No!
我的天啊 你为什么要干这些事
Oh, my God, why have you done this?
我们一家人都很想你
Everyone in our household misses you.
思念总是无处不在
There's a lot of missing going on.
谢你了 兄弟
Hey, thanks, buddy,
你个臭肥猪
you're a great big stinky lump.
接招吧 大蠢蛋
Take this, you big clown.
就是这样 倒下吧
That's it, hit the ground.
给我倒下吧 大兄弟
Hit the deck, big fella.
哈哈
Ha-ha.
好了 Pattison
Right, Pattison,
我们上路吧 看看是谁在陷害我
let's hit the streets and find out who fitted me up.
走吧 快来
Let's go! Come on.
来吧
Let's do this.
我们现在正在逃亡
We were now on the run.
我们绑♥架♥了第一个嫌疑人
We'd kidnapped our first suspect
是个肮脏的政客 Len Goodman
sleazy politician, Len Goodman.
他讨厌我
He loathed me.
是时候我和Pattison变成伪装大♥师♥了
Time for me and Pattison to become masters of disguise.
你会说什么口音
What accents can you do?
你会伦敦腔吗
Can you do Cockney?
这样可以吧 老兄
All right, mate?
太棒了
That's brilliant.
我简直就是个爷们儿 是吧
I'm a fucking geezer, ain't I?
我要来个苏格兰口音 - 好啊 听听你的苏格兰腔
I'm going to be Scottish. - OK. Let's hear your Scottish.
来让你尝尝这个的滋味
Eh, you're going to get yourself one of these.
哇我觉得 很不错
Right, I think...yeah, brilliant.
刚刚有一瞬间 我真的觉得你是个苏格兰人
For a minute there, I fucking thought you were Scottish.
你戴上这个
Put this on.
我打算戴这个头罩 这样他才认不出我
I'm going to wear this balaclava so he doesn't know it's me.
你觉得我直接这么戴
Do you want me to put this straight on me head,like?
对 就这样戴着
Yeah, put it on your head like that.
现在呢 我看上去真的像个男的吗
How about now? Do I look really like a man?
我的天 你看上去强硬又冷酷
Oh, my God, you look so tough and cool.
哈哈太好了
Ha-ha, yes!
好了 Pattison
Right. Pattison...
你准备好进入严刑拷打的世界了吗
are you ready to slip into the world of torture?
来吧
Let's do it.
咱们去折磨Len Goodman吧
Let's go torture Len Goodman.
哦哟 得嘞
Och, aye, the noo!
出来 你个垃圾
Get oot of here, you piece of crap!
给我过来 你个狗东西
Get here, you fucking mug.
等着受死吧
You're going to get it.
好了 摘下头套吧
Right, take off this hood.
放开我
Get off me!
准备接受折磨吧
Eh, you're going to get it
因为我们可是格拉斯哥人 准备受死吧
cos we are from Glesgae and you're going to get it.
你想干什么 要钱吗
What are you on about? What you after - money?
给你个忠告 蠢蛋
Word to the wise, Sunny Jim,
还有你 小矮子
and you, half pint.
你们不会想和我结仇的
You don't want to make an enemy out of me.
还有你到底在说什么
And anyway, what are you talking about?
听不懂了吧 我们可是格拉斯哥人
See noo, we're from Glesgae,
我们要把你的头埋进地里
and we're going to dig your head in
把你整个塞到篮子里
and we're going bury you in a basket.
格拉斯哥在哪 尼日利亚吗
Glasgow, where, Nigeria?
格拉斯哥在苏格兰
Glasgow in Scotland.
还是在乌兹别克斯坦
Uzbekistan?
哈哈哈哈
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
我要把你 把你
I'm going to take your...
他为什么一直在笑
Why's he laughing?
帮帮忙 他到底在干什么
Do me a favour, what's he on about?
这 - 闭嘴吧
Right, this is... - Shut up!
你个白♥痴♥
You mug.
你又是哪里人
Where are you from?
我可是个伦敦佬好吧
I'm a Cockney geezer, ain't I?
别逗我笑了
Don't make me laugh!
你们这两个白♥痴♥
The pair of you, bleeding muppets!
诶 你观察过他的眉毛吗
Ere, have you seen his eyebrows?
快看
Look at that!
你这是什么意思
Whit's that supposed to mean?
瞧瞧它们有多粗 你可真是个怪胎
Look at the size of them. You're some kind of freak, you are!
相信我 脱掉衣服他就是个毛茸茸的大猩猩 - 啥玩意儿
Believe me, under there, a hirsute gorilla! - What?
他刚刚看到了
He just saw...
够了 我受够了 我要出去 - 哦 是你啊 Sleet
That's it, that's it! I'm getting out... - Oh, it is you, Sleet!