成功镇凶案（2015）

我们就是这么恨它们
That's how much we hate them!
爱它也好 恨它也罢
Love them or hate them,
屠宰海豚并且当做食物出♥售♥依旧是违法的
it's still illegal to slaughter them and sell them as food.
我们知道你一直在给Katy Perry的餐馆供货
We know that you've been doing that down at Katy Perry's diner.
这你怎么解释
What have you got to say about that?
拿住我的枪 拿着枪然后来威胁他
Hold my gun. Hold my gun and threaten him with it.
没错 没错
That's it, that's it.
那我抓着你蛋蛋怎么样
How about I hold you by your nuts?
你喜欢这种感觉吗
You like that?
放过 放过小Ian吧
Leave Little... Leave Little Ian alone.
求求你了
Please.
现在你有什么要说的吗
Now what have you got to say?
好吧 我卖♥♥海豚肉
All right, I sold the dolphins.
我卖♥♥的 前几天我给餐馆运了一些
I sold them, I took some round the diner the other day.
我投降了
Hands up to it.
但是我不是一个杀人犯
But I'm not a murderer...
我只是一个渔夫
..Just a fisherman.
不是他 对吗 - 你在哪
He's not, is he? - Where were you...
你什么意思 你就这么相信了他的话吗
What do you mean? You're just going to take his word for it?!
抱歉 - 把枪顶在他脸上
Sorry. - Put that gun in his face!
顶在他脸上
Put it in his face!
*小海鸥啦啦啦瞎飞*
*With a yo-ho piddly piddly pom-pom...*
滚蛋吧 跟我来 Bunton
Get out of here! Come on, Bunton.
记住现在我们来了 McKellen 别碍事 - 没错
Remember we're in town now, McKellen. Stay out of our way. - Yeah.
风暴就要来了 探长
Storm's coming, Detective.
最好还是回到安全的大♥陆♥
Better get back to the mainland where it's safe.
所以McKellen是把海豚肉运给了Katy Perry
So, McKellen was passing on the dolphin meat to Katy Perry.
我们去她家餐厅吃晚餐
We headed over to her diner for our evening supper
并且做一些卧底工作
and some undercover work.
这里好多了 这儿挺好 嗯
That's better, that's good, OK.
哦 天呐 这是
Oh, God, this is...
这儿真不错 - 没错
This is nice. - Yeah.
听着 我打算去厨房♥溜达一圈
Listen...I'm going to have a little look around the kitchen,
看看能发现什么
see what I can find out,
看看那里会不会有什么证据 - 好的
see if there's any evidence in there. - OK.
我需要你做的是 把她在这儿稳住
What I need you to do, you keep her here.
好的 - 你可以的吧
OK. - Are you all right with that?
嗯 我知道 她就在那儿 - 她来了 她来了
Yes. I know, she's right there. - She's coming, she's coming.
你好 - 你好
Hi. - Hi.
这是你们的菜单
Here's y'all menus.
谢谢 - 嘿
Thank you. - Hey!
你们是从镇外面来的吗
Y'all boys from out of town?
我以前没见过你们 但我可是认识镇上所有人
I ain't seen you round here before and I know everybody.
我想我得认识一下
I guess it's my business to know.
真是细心
How very observant!
没错 我们是
Yeah, we are...
我是打算在我的美食评论家的笔记上记一下来着
I'll actually make a note of that in my restaurant critic's notebook.
你们是美食评论家吗
Y'all are restaurant critics?
没错 - 真是的 我说漏嘴了
Yes. - Dang it, that's the cat out of the bag.
好吧
Well...
真可爱 嘿 我给你们拿点喝的吧
That's so lovely. Hey, I'd better get you a drink.
我请客
On the house, but of course!
我想要一杯白色俄♥罗♥斯♥
I'd love a White Russian.
好的 那你呢
OK. And for you?
一杯水 一杯水就行 她是
Glass of water, just a glass of water, she's...
这是她第一次 - 不 我想要烈一点的
It's her first... - No, I want something stronger.
就点一杯水就好
Just have a glass of water.
好吧 水就行 水 谢谢
OK, wat... Water's fine. Water, please.
直饮水还是气泡水
Tap or sparkling?
哦 气泡水 谢谢
Oh, sparkling, please.
我这儿也只有直饮水 - 直饮水就好 直饮水就好
I've only got tap. - Tap's fine. Tap's fine.
这是你点的直饮水(踢踏舞)
That's the tap.
这儿每个人都那么的活泼可爱 是吧
Everyone up here is so jolly and lovely, aren't they?
没错 这太棒了 对吧
Yeah, it's great, isn't it?
你知道 在我们成功镇北部这儿有很多小丑
Well, you know, we have a lot of clowns in Northern Successville.
我的远房♥表弟 他曾是一个小丑
My second-second-second cousin, he was a clown.
即便他开枪自杀的时候 他都没把小丑妆卸了
He never took his make-up off, even when he shot himself.
笑到生命最后一刻
Laughin' till the end.
哇哦 - 哇哦
Wow. - Wow.
那真是可怕 - 没错
That's a horrible fact. - Yes, it is.
很抱歉 Perry小姐
I'm sorry to say, Miss Perry,
这是职业美食评论家的工作
official restaurant critic business.
我需要看看你的厨房♥
I need to have a little look around your kitchen.
可以吗 - 当然可以 陌生人
Is that OK? - Why, of course, stranger.
你也要做你的工作 不是吗 - 非常感谢
You gots to do your job, ain't you? - Thank you very much.
嘿 Joe Joe
Hey, Joe! Joe!
你带着这位友善的先生好好参观厨房♥
Make sure you show this kind gentleman round the kitchen.
让他好好看看他想看的东西
Let him see everything he needs to see.
我能就问一个问题吗
Can I just ask one question?
行啊 - Joe会碰食物吗
Yes. - Does Joe touched the food?
没有
No.
我们什么都不让他碰
We don't let him touch anything.
那就好 - 那个酸奶罐 是他的安慰
OK. - That yoghurt pot, it's his comfort.
他是把舌头伸到那里了吗 - 对的
He's got his tongue right up in there. - Yeah.
这是唯一能阻止他尖叫的方法
It's the only way to stop him from screaming.
好吧 我们一会儿见
OK, well, I'll see you in a bit.
离Joe远一点哦
Stay away from Joe.
好吧 那么你要喝什么呢 亲爱的
OK, what are you going to have, sweetie?
我在想 也许我可以点
I was thinking, maybe I could get like...
一杯香甜咖啡酒之类的
like a Kahlua.
香甜咖啡酒 - 是啊
A Kahlua? - Yeah, does that...
你可真甜呀
Well, you're pretty fruity!
那什么 - 什么
Does that... - Whoa.
那什么 嗯 我要加很多冰 - 好的
Does that, um... Lots of ice. - Yeah.
我想要很多很多冰
I'd like lots of ice, please, yes.
今天挺冷的 但可以啊 - 我真的要很多冰 不好意思
It's pretty cold today, but OK. - I'd like lots of ice. Sorry...
什么
What?
不得不说
May I say,
你有个性感可人的厨房♥
you have a sexy and delightful kitchen.
哇谢谢你
Well, thank you.
我去把冰块拿来
I'll get that ice.
我咬的太多了 嚼都嚼不动
I've bitten off more than I can chew...
怎么了 - 她吓人得要命
What's up? - She is scary as hell.
猜猜我在厨房♥里找到了什么
Well, guess what I found when I was in the kitchen.
这个
This.
我还找到了块尿布 我觉得是Joe的
Also, I found a nappy that I am assuming is Big Joe's.
尿布里还是满的
It was full.
真恶心
Oh, disgusting!
是啊 还找到了这个
Yeah. Found this.
快拿开
Oh, piss off!
这是James May的恶心又皱巴巴脏兮兮的脚
Yeah. It's James May's disgusting, withered, dirty old foot.
喂
Hey!
那是什么 是什么
What...? What?
那是只脚吗
Is that a foot?
我这有个不知道哪来的脚
I know one from anywhere.
诶 我可没 它是在运来的货里夹带着的
Hey, I did not... It came in with the deliveries
跟我可没有半点关系
it ain't got nothing to do with me.
好吧 我相信你 谢谢
OK, I believe you. Thanks.
给你 - 你是给自己点了杯喝的吗
Here you go. - Did you order yourself a drink?
是啊
Yes.
这是杯很像白色俄♥罗♥斯♥的咖啡酒
It's a Kahlua in the disguise of a White Russian.
其实我们得走了 - 是啊我们该走了
We actually have to go, I'm afraid. - Yeah, we should go now.
什么 不行不行 别跟我说是那只脚倒了你们的胃口
What? No, no, no, please don't tell me that foot put you off our food.
恐怕 我不是想当事儿妈
I'm afraid... I don't want to be known as a fussy britches,
但是在食物里找到人体残肢 真的让我受不了
but finding human body parts in my food really throws me off.
抱歉 我就是这样的人 我们大概只能给你打一颗星了
I'm sorry. That's just me. We'll probably only give you one star.
一颗星
One star?
我接下来要说的话 我只说一遍
I'm just going to say this and I'm going to say it once.
我们成功镇北部这边有个说法
We've got a saying up in Northern Successville.
如果天气没有困住你 那森林就会困住你
If the weather doesn't take you, then woods will.