成功镇凶案（2015）

这和你们的闺蜜之夜不一样 好不好 你个蠢娘们
It's different when it's a girl's night, innit, you silly skank!
话里全是怨气 是吧
You get nothing but grief from these, don't you?
嗯 我知道 这么跟她说
Well, I'm sure, talking to her like that.
现在又不是1972年 你要学着怎么沟通
It's not 1972! It sounds like you need to learn to communicate.
把电♥话♥给我
Gie's that phone!
听着 娘们
Listen, hen,
我刚正跟咱们神奇队长说呢
I was just saying to Captain Fantastic here
你需要学着怎么沟通
that yous need to learn to communicate.
我意思是 这其实不关我的事
I mean, it's none of my business,
但是你没发现你一直在争论吗
but do you find you argue all the time?
嗯 这其实也不算争论 Frank
Well, I wouldn't say it's really arguing, Frank.
说实话 他总是对我耍流氓态度
To be honest, he's always downright nasty to me.
之前有一天 我为了他生日精心打扮
Just the other day, I got dressed up all nice for his birthday
然后他说我的腿
and he said me legs
就像是把香肠肉塞进避孕套里
looked like sausage meat stuffed into a condom.
这很常见 但你也可以把话说开啊 - 是吗
That's very common, but you can talk through all that. - Yeah?
还有当我们做♥爱♥的时候
Well, when we're making sex
你知道吗 有时候他都不等我高♥潮♥
you know, sometimes he doesn't even wait for me to enjoy myself.
他就直接杵着个鸡♥巴♥插♥进♥来
He just sticks his winkie right in me
然后他就完事了
and then he bloody finishes off
之后 他妈的他就去看电视了
and then, oh, bloody goes and watches TV
我他妈就得自己做接下来的事
and I have to bloody do everything else on me own!
她
She's...
她在撒谎
She's just lying.
她 - 我不是骗子 你个卑鄙小人
She's... - I ain't a liar, you filthy scumbag!
我简直不敢相信你竟然那么说
Oh, I can't believe you'd say such a thing!
跟她解释你是怎么感觉的 伙计
Explain to her how you feel about her, man.
抽出点时间给她
Make some time for her.
我爱你 宝贝 你让我每一天都很开心
I love you, baby, and you make me happy every day
你的技术那么好
and you're such a good shagger and...
我们的性生活那么和谐
our sex life's amazing.
这话太贴心了 Mark
What a sweet thing to say, Mark.
你也 你的技术也很好
And you're... You're good at sex as well.
我知道我不错 - 好的 我们有进展了
I know I am. - Well, now we're getting somewhere...
你说是不是
Wouldn't you say...
Sleet
Sleet?
五 四 三 二 一
Five, four, three, two, one...
我来了 Mark
I'm coming, Mark!
天哪 啊
God, huh?
噢 这是 - 嘿 Sleet 你怎么这么久才来
Oh, it's, uh... - Oh, hey, Sleet, what took you so long?
把钢琴推上台亮相都比你快
I've seen pianos make a quicker entrance than you.
嘿 Mark 你还好吧 孩子
Hey, Mark, you OK, kid?
好的 - 太可爱了 Sleet
Good. - That's adorable, Sleet.
你是什么 他的伴侣还是他的保姆啊
What are you, his partner or his baby-sitter?
嘿 我是他的搭档
Hey, I'm his partner!
但是我跟你说 Boyle 如果我是他的保姆
But let me tell you something, Boyle. If I was his baby-sitter,
我就会允许他熬夜看所有他喜欢的电影
I'd let him stay up late and watch all his favourite films
吃冰淇凌 果冻和蛋糕
and eat ice cream and jelly and trifle
还有煎培根和其他好吃的零食
and bacon Frazzles and other nice snacks.
知道为什么吗 - 因为你是恋童癖吗
And you know why? - Because you're a paedophile?
不 不
No, no.
不 不是那样 不
No, that's not... No.
因为他是个好孩子
Because he's a good kid.
他的好比你多的不止一点点
He's got more good in him than you've got in your little finger.
嘿 说点霸气的话
Hey, say something cool.
你手下都好矮
Your boys are tiny.
比这个再霸气点
Cooler than that.
我何不现在就把你们全扔装尸袋里头
Well, why don't I wheel you lot out in body bags?
类似这种的
Say something like that.
我们何不现在就把你们全扔装尸袋里头
Why don't we wheel you lot out in body bags?
别抄我的 自己想点词
Don't copy me, say something of your own.
你要再这样
If you carry on,
我就把你脑袋拧下来 然后把屎拉到你脖子里
I'm going to rip your head off and shit down your neck.
对 这次不错
Yeah, that's better.
费了不少功夫
Hey, took him a while there,
但最后他还是做到了 是不是 Sleet
but he got there, didn't he, Sleet?
是啊 我们做到了 我们终归能做到
Yeah, we did, we got there eventually.
我们走吧 - 还是教了很多才做到啊
Let's get out of here. - There was a load of graft to get there.
起开 马屁精 没有Boyle你什么都不是
Back off, creep. You're nothing without Boyle.
最终 我们去了渣滓镇
Finally, we headed to Scumville
去和Tess Daly和Claudia Winkleman一决雌雄
to lock horns with Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman
她们是生活在底层的瘾君子就像带喷灯的螃蟹
local lowlife druggies who like a crab with a blowtorch,
又难搞又危险
were tricky and dangerous.
你准备好了么
Are you ready?
你知道我们在做什么吗
You know what we're doing now?
我们马上要跨入地狱之门了
We're about to roll into the gates of Hell.
你知道这里面是什么吗
You know what's in there?
这是个毒窝 小子
It's a crack den, kid.
你以前进过毒窝吗
You ever been in a crack den before?
没有
No.
我已经准备就绪了
I'm locked and loaded.
我给你一个胡椒喷雾 是我自己做的
I got you a pepper spray, it's my home-made stuff.
好的 - 好的 听着
OK. - OK, listen.
我们必须要进入隐秘模式了
We're going to have to go in stealth mode.
什么是隐秘 - 隐秘 啥
What's stealth? - Stealth...what?
认真的吗
Really?
隐秘
Stealth...
就是安静点
is quiet.
好的
Ok.
你喜欢我的发型 - 对
You like my hair? - Yeah.
害怕 别害怕
Scared. Don't be scared.
对不起 对不起
Sorry, sorry.
刚才没站稳
I lost my balance.
笨蛋 - 我错了
You idiot. - I'm sorry.
等下
Wait.
一会儿你喷他的时候
When you're going to spray,
让我看看你打算怎么做
show me what you're going to do.
不不不 你跟个松鼠一样
No, no, no, you're like a squirrel...
要去找坚果似的
Going for some nuts.
敲门 开门 喷他
Knock... open... SPRAY...
嘿 嘿
Hey, hey!
Wright Mark
Wright! Mark!
我们会被发现的
We are fucked!
你冷静一点
Pull yourself together.
不好意思 - 你要全搞砸了
Sorry. - You're ruining it.
好的 敲门
OK, knock.
谁啊
Yes?
是谁 啊啊啊 - 天啊
Who is it? Aaargh! - Jesus!
嗷 啊啊啊
Aaargh! Aaargh!
对不住 伙计
I'm sorry, mate!
你在干嘛 对不起 兄弟
What are you doing? I'm sorry, buddy.
他蛋蛋露出来了 - 我错了 兄弟
His bollocks are out. - I'm sorry, buddy.
来回到你的房♥间里去
Let's get you back in your house.
敲错门了
That was the wrong door.
我们是要找Tess Daly和Claudia Winkleman
We're looking for Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman.
是这家 在走廊这边
It's this one, down here.
所有人都别动
OK, everybody freeze.
都别轻举妄动
Everybody easy.
探长
Detective Inspector!
有你大驾光临真是开心
To what do I owe the pleasure?
看见你俩这小丑可不算开心
Seeing you pair of clowns is never a pleasure.
被我迷住了吧 肯定是
Charmed, I'm sure!
你不坐下吗
Will you not take seat?
我不想坐 我可不想染上什么东西
I don't want to take a seat. I don't want to catch anything.
他上次来这里时可不是这么说的 是吧 Tess-Tess
That's not what he said last time he was here, is it, Tess-Tess?
当然不是 - 知道他上次还住在这里的时候说什么了吗
No, it's not. - Know what he said last time when he lived here?
不知道
No.
我闭嘴 别管我 别管我 - 闭嘴
I'll shut up. Ignore me, ignore me. - Shut up!
过去的我和现在不一样
I was a different man back then.
听着 你要是什么都不准备买♥♥
Look, if you're not going to buy anything,