成功镇凶案（2015）

懂了吗
Ok?
第二天早上 我接到了Nigella Lawson打来的电♥话♥
Next morning, I got a call from Nigella Lawson
那时候我正通过口袋里的洞偷偷玩我的蛋蛋
and whilst I discreetly played with my plonker through a hole in my pocket,
她告诉我们Clarkson被杀了
she told us Clarkson had been killed.
跟你讲 如果我要一直住在这
You know what, if I'm going to live here,
我肯定得买♥♥辆更大的车
I'm going to have to get a bigger car
不然穿着这些厚衣服大帽子根本挤不进去
with all these big hats and coats, that's for sure.
你小心点好吧
OK, tread careful, all right?
看看那是谁 好了Bunton 我要换个潇洒点的走路姿势
Look who it is over there. OK, Bunton, I'll try a cooler walk.
别那样走路 你看上去很蠢 - 什么
Don't walk like that, then. You look stupid. - What?
谢天谢地你们终于来了
Oh, thank God you're here!
嘿 小妞 小甜妞
Hey, girl! Hey,sweet girl.
嘿 宝贝儿 嘿 亲爱的 - 哦天啊
Hey, baby. Hey, darling. - Oh, no!
子弹正中他的心脏
He was shot straight through the heart!
你不要哭嘛
Hey, don't you dare cry!
抱歉 这对整个警局来说是很大的损失
No, I'm sorry. It's just a huge loss to my whole department
对成功镇北部的所有人来说也是
and all of Northern Successville.
你猜怎么着 亲爱的
Well, guess what, honeybee?
是我和凶悍Bunton来管这个案子 所以
Me and Badass Bunton are on this case, so...
你知道吧 我也也不想"操"之过急
You know, I don't want to jump the gun
射的你满脸都是
and throw my load all over your face...
我觉得挺好
I'd like that.
哦是吗 - 是啊
Oh, would you? - Yes.
可别再来这套
Oh, not this again!
再来什么 - 别再互相调情了 怪恶心人的
What again? - Stop flirting with each other, it's revolting.
好吧 Emma 如果你觉得这很恶心
OK, Emma, if you find it so revolting,
那你就去干点活吧
maybe you'd like another little task.
去把他的裤子拉起来 他碍着我了
Pull his trousers up, he's putting me off my stride.
我不要
I'm not...
Emma 我是不会干这个的 我可是个高级警官
Emma, I'm not doing it, I'm a senior officer.
你去把他的裤子拉起来吧
You pull his trousers up.
我不能 - 她可是个警长
I can't... - She is a chief officer!
Bunton 我的天啊
Bunton, for Christ's sake!
不好意思
Sorry, sorry.
哦 没事的 - 你过来 到这儿来
Oh, it's fine. - Come, come, come here.
Bunton 我很想和Nigella上♥床♥ - 我知道啊
Bunton, I'm trying to have sex with Nigella. - I know.
我要是还得帮别的男人穿内♥裤♥ 该有多丢人啊
How undignifying is it if I've got to pull up another man's underpants?
你们还好吗 - 哦没事 我应该
Is everything OK? - Yeah, oh, I should probably...
你可能觉得我们在讲
You might have thought that we were talking about...
他想和你上♥床♥ - 噢
He wants to have sex with you. - Oh!
真的吗 - 带着你就像是带着我九岁的小孩出去
Really? - It's like taking my nine-year-old kid out, with you,
你这个没羞没躁的小淘气
you cheeky little scamp.
听着
Listen...
我想亲你的小嘴儿
I want to kiss you on the mouth.
哦天哪 - 我也想
Oh, God. - I'd like that.
我想要抚摸你的秀发
And I want to stroke your hair.
这会让我觉得自己非常非常重要
It would make me feel very, very important.
你本来就很重要
You are important.
嘿 记好了
Hey, chalk it up.
在我这该死的人生中还有一件重要的事
One more thing in my friggin' life.
我想和你生小孩
I want to have kids with you.
哦别这样 Sleet
Sleet, no.
瞧 我就是那种小混混们都想成为的大哥
See, I'm the kind of G the little homies want to be like.
这就是我 我会每天给你买♥♥花(音似面粉)
That's just me. I'm going to buy you flowers every day.
别说了 你不用这样的
Stop it, you don't need to do that.
各种面粉 全麦的 无麸质的
Different flours - wholegrain, gluten-free
这样你就可以做不同的蛋糕
so you can make different cakes.
这就是女人该干的事 而我负责把它们吃掉
That's what women do. And I'll eat those cakes.
我得 我得回去交报告了
I need to... I need to get back and file the report.
你回去工作吧 小甜心
You get back to work, sweet lady.
我想要你为我画一幅画
I want you to draw a picture of me.
我会的
I will.
说到做到哦
You'd better.
那你 多穿点吧 探长
And you, you wrap up warm, Detective.
风暴就要来了
There's a storm coming.
死了两个警♥察♥ 还有一个嫌疑人要查
Two cops down and one more suspect to go.
Louis Walsh
Louis Walsh.
他因为非法捕猎 而被May调查
He was being investigated by May for illegally hunting.
Walsh曾是一个警♥察♥ 但因为腐♥败♥被解雇了
Walsh was a former cop that got sacked over corruption
从那以后 他就在森林里过着野蛮人的生活
and he'd been living feral in the woods ever since.
我的天啊
Oh, my...
快点 Bunton 快进来
Quick, Bunton, get in there.
我的天啊 这里真吓人
Oh, my goodness, this is horrible!
Bunton 四处看看
Bunton, have a little look around,
看能不能找到点线索
see if you can find some clues in this place.
我们就跟闯进了一个动物太平间一样
We might have just stumbled upon what looks like an animals' morgue.
你会想住在这儿吗
Would you want to live here?
不要 太恐怖了 我真的不喜欢这儿
No, it's horrible, I really don't like it.
天啊 - 你怎么这样啊Bunton 真是个势利眼
Oh, God! - What's wrong with you, Bunton? You are such a snob!
我才不是势利眼 我只是不喜欢填充动物玩具
I'm not a snob! I don't like stuffed animals!
好吧
All right! Jeez!
跟你说 我要出去转转
Listen, I'm going to have a look around outside,
看看能不能找到些什么
see if we've got anything out there.
你在这里找线索吧
You look for some clues in here.
你要把我一个人留在这吗 和这些玩意儿一起
You're going to leave me here, with these?
怎么 你害怕了吗 - 是啊 我不喜欢这儿
What, are you scared? - Yeah, I don't like it.
没事的 Bunton
You'll be fine, Bunton.
好吧 我知道不会有事的 你走
OK, yeah, I know I'll be fine. Go.
你什么意思啊 还你走 真没礼貌 - 出去
What do you mean, go?! That's very flippant! - Get out.
天啊 真吓人
Oh, God, that's horrible!
哦我的天啊 我不喜欢这样 真的不喜欢
Oh, my God, I don't like it! I really don't like it!
你好 嗯
Hi. Um...
哦我的天啊 - 嘘嘘嘘
Oh, my goodness! - Shush. Shh, shh, shh.
你别跟我说话 - 为什么
You don't talk to me. - Why?
你本来应该要好好看家的 Benjamin
You were meant to keep watch, Benjamin.
让你做事我怎么能放心呢
Can I not trust you to do anything?
没事的 - 别跟我说话
It's OK. - Don't talk to me.
为什么 - 别看我
Why? - You don't even look at me.
好吧
OK.
你只能和Benjamin讲话 明白了吗
You only speak to Benjamin. Do you understand?
告诉他你是谁 你想干什么
Tell him who you are and what you want from me.
我是和Sleet探长一起来的 他就在附近
I'm with DI Sleet, he's around somewhere.
你是警♥察♥
You're the police.
是 - 只有一个人比警♥察♥更令我讨厌
Yeah. - There's only one thing I hate more than a policeman
那就是警♥察♥的妈妈 因为是她把警♥察♥生下来的
that's a policeman's mummy for shitting him out of her fanny.
是警♥察♥把我嚼烂了又吐出来
The police chewed me up and spat me out.
我可以问你几个问题吗 - 嘘
Can I ask you a few questions? - Sh.
我能闻到一点你的尿的味道
I can smell a little bit of your wee-wee.
你闻到了吗 Benjamin
Can you smell it, Benjamin?
我们要让她留下来吗
Shall we let her stay?
我本来就想走了 - Benjamin说他喜欢你
I think I want to go anyway. - Benjamin says he likes you.
他说他觉得自己爱上你了
He says he thinks he's in love with you.
噢 - 坐下吧 你想不想
Oh... - Sit yourself down. You want...
想不想让我给你介绍几个Benjamin的朋友
You want me to introduce you to some of Benjamin's friends?
这个小家伙
This little fellow over here,
他是来自武当帮乐队的Ol' Dirty Bastard
he's called Ol' Dirty Bastard from the Wu-Tang Clan.
这是Wagner 是个臭傻♥逼♥
That's Wagner. Fucking idiot.
你知道这个小家伙是谁吗 - 不知道
Do you know who this little fellow is? - No.
你想知道我叫他什么吗 - 想
Do you want to know what I call him? - Yeah.
我管他叫 我的停鸡库
I call him my cock garage.
哦我的天
Oh, my God!
你留在这继续认识这些Benjamin的朋友们吧
I'll leave you to get to know the friends of Benjamin.
你饿了吗
Are you hungry?
不 算了吧 - 我弄了一点脆猪皮片
No, I'm fine... - I've got some pork scratchings.
我是说他们是脆猪皮片
Well, I say they're pork scratchings,
但其实要比猪皮更硬更角质化一些
they're a little bit more toenaily than that,
不过我切之前都有擦过 我他妈保证
but I scrubbed them before I cut them, I fucking promise.
我知道你肯定会喜欢的
I know you're going to like it.
我这还有一些其他的东西 不过我不觉得你真的
And I've got you some other stuff in here that I don't think
想知道它是什么 - 喔 好难闻
you'd really... - Oh, it smells!