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In the Dark
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In the Dark S01E03
Part 2
April 20, 2020, 1:29 p.m.
Jess? Jess, there's something
出大问题了
seriously wrong with Max's penis.
-什么 -他的鸡鸡
- What? - His penis.
出问题了
There's something wrong with it.
我知道他长得太完美了
Oh, I knew he was too perfect-looking.
不是 我♥干♥了点什么
No. I did something.
杰丝 我需要你去看看
Jess, I need you to look at it.
你想让我去看看他的那玩意
You want me to look at his junk?
我又没法看 而且你是个医生
Well, I can't, and you're a doctor.
还是个拉拉 求你了 他吓死了
And a lesbian. Please, he's freaking out.
这简直就是我梦想中第一次见到
This is exactly how I always dreamed
鸡鸡的场景一模一样
of seeing my first penis.
一喘气就疼
It hurts to breathe.
让我看一下下
Let me have a little look-see?
-非常紫啊 -我知道
- Um, it's very purple. - I know.
在学校时我见过一个这样的情况
I saw a case like this back in school.
一只猩猩从树上掉下来
Uh, an orangutan fell out of a tree
当时它正在勃起呢
with an erection.
看起来你把它弄折了
It looks like you broke it.
或者是扭伤了 不好确诊
Or sprained it. It's hard to diagnose.
-你把它弄折了 -或者是扭伤了
- You broke it. - Or sprained it.
接下来你要
You're going to want to stay off
卧床 冰敷几天
your feet and ice it for a few days.
你是什么医生啊
What kind of doctor are you?
她是兽医
She's a vet.
-太棒了 -告诉你一个有趣的现象
- Perfect. - Here's a fun fact.
章鱼也会出现同样的事
The same thing happens to octopuses.
做♥爱♥后母的会一下子把它给折断了
The female just breaks it right off after sex.
超级有趣的现象
Super fun fact, yeah.
杰丝 走吧
Read the room, Jess.
这是怎么搞的呢
How did that even happen?
他...
He...
他抚摸着我的头发 告诉我他喜欢我
He, like, caressed my hair and told me he likes me.
做♥爱♥时什么样的疯子才会这样呢
What kind of psycho does that during sex?
你迟到了
You're late.
你父母当家时这个可能就过去了
Now, this might fly when your parents are in charge,
不过这周 这里的情况会非常
but things are going to be a lot different
不一样了
around here this week, okay?
是吗 我父母呢
Oh, yeah? Where are my parents?
醒醒吧 引导之旅筹款会啊
Hello. The Ride for the Guide fund-raiser?
你到底有认真听这里的事吗
Do you listen to anything around here?
-我是说... -没有
- I mean... - No.
汉克和乔伊让我负责这里
Well, Hank and Joy left me in charge,
而在我负责的期间
and while I'm in charge,
我要做些重大改变
I'm making some big changes.
你终于要植发了
You finally looking into hair plugs?
我又不秃
I'm not bald.
真的 你的气场就表明了你是个秃子啊
Really? Your whole vibe screams bald.
我不是
Well, I'm not.
实际上我的毛发很密的
I have a very strong hairline, actually.
我们走吧 开个员工会
Let's go. We have a staff meeting.
员工会
Staff meeting?
你不吃饭
You're not eating?
这个就行了
I'm good with this.
我不想你这么担心 舅妈
I don't want you out here worrying so much, Auntie.
我的孩子有八天没回家了
My kid hasn't been home in eight days,
我不应该担心吗
and I'm not supposed to worry?
我知道这些男孩子的样子
You know how these young boys are.
四处乱跑 惹点什么事
Running around, getting into something.
但泰森总会露面的 你知道的
Tyson always turns up, though. You know that.
他的朋友 那个盲女...
That friend of his, the blind girl...
茉菲
Murphy?
她觉得他出事了
She thinks something happened to him.
她根本搞不清她知道什么
She don't know what she knows.
我让打听着呢 有消息就回报我
I got ears on the ground in case anybody hears something.
泰森会回来的
Tyson will be back.
把东西吃了
Eat your food.
下一项议题
Okay, next on the agenda.
如我们所知 引导希望需要
As we all know, Guiding Hope could use
多点知名度
a little PR boost.
我们在图享上只有七十五个粉丝
We only have 75 Instagram followers.
那我们应该怎么提升呢
How can we up our game?
怎么样啊 菲韦尔
What up, Fievel?
这个会要有意思了
This meeting's about to suck a whole lot less.
送水的来了
Water guy is here.
我叫菲力克斯
It's, uh, Felix.
你还记得他叫了他两个星期的菲利斯吗
Remember when he called him Phyllis for, like, two weeks? u202d
你好像忘记给饮水机换水了
I think you forgot to put the new bottle in the dispenser.
抱歉 我以为你是想自己换
Sorry, I just assumed you wanted to do it yourself.
大多数人都是自己换的
Most men do.
不是这个问题
No, no, no, that's not it.
这算是你工作的一部分
Just that it's, uh, part of your job.
-把这个签了 -好的
- Sign this. - u202dOkay.
这支笔应该不会重的让你拿不起
Unless the pen is too heavy for you.
靠 这就是我梦寐以求的时刻啊
Damn. These are the moments where I really wish I could see.
好了
Uh, right.
我刚刚讲到哪了
Where was I?
被送水工嘲讽了
Uh, getting owned by the water guy.
谢谢啊 茉菲
Thank you, Murphy.
我们刚刚说到 要让"引导希望"
We were talking about getting Guiding Hope
获取一些知名度
some name recognition.
我们可以制♥作♥一份日历
We could do a calendar
在上面印上那些训练中的可爱狗狗
of all our cutest puppies in training.
我们应该到一所高中去
Wait, we should go to a high school.
你的阿德拉忘记吃了吗
You running low on Adderall?
一种治疗注意力缺失的药物
是的 菲力克斯 我服用阿德拉
Yes, Felix. I take Adderall.
所以我无法集中注意 而且每天迟到
That's why I have zero focus and I'm late every day.
说真的 上高中的孩子
No, seriously, you know, high school kids
对盲人充满了恶意
are total jerks to blind people.
你不是经常做那些宣传的...
And don't you always do those outreach...
活动吗
things, you know?
我们需要到高中
We need to do one at a high school.
上高中的孩子最坏了
Yeah, high school kids are the worst, so...
本·菲尔兹告诉了我高中里的所有人
Ben Fields told everyone at my high school
他在午餐的时候抓到我
he caught me masturbating to the Blink-182 album cover
对着《眨眼182》的专辑封面打飞机
during lunch.
哪个专辑
Which album?
根本就没那张专辑 那是个谎
No, none. It was a lie.
当然了 在我高中毕业之前
Obviously, but it haunted me
那件事都阴魂不散
until the day I graduated.
当我拿到毕业证的时候
The entire school sang
全校的人一起唱了《那些微小的东西》
"All the Small Things" when I got my diploma.
我想说的是
My point is,
上高中的孩子都很坏
is that, uh, high school kids are awful.
没错 正是这样
Right. Exactly.
我可以联♥系♥一下当地的学校
So I can call some local schools and see
看看有没有人感兴趣
if anyone's interested.
也许可以招到一些志愿者 至少
We might get some volunteers and, at the very least,
能吸一波图享的粉丝
Instagram followers.
好吧 但你知道
Okay, but you do realize
你这是在要求做实际的工作 对吧
you're offering to do actual work, right?
是的 菲力克斯 我知道
Yes, Felix, I realize.
可以 我批准了
Okay. I'll allow it.
好了 我想和你们聊一聊
All right, I want to talk to you guys about
狗的行为模式 好吗
telltale dog behavior, all right?
你就是个大笨蛋
You are a transparent idiot.
管它呢
Whatever.
我刚刚得到了寻找凯拉的机会
I just got my pass to find Keira.
你想见我
You wanted to see me?
什么
What?
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In the Dark
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