老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E23
Part 2
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:10 p.m.
Have you used this jump rope in the last year?
过去的一年中你用过这根跳绳吗
Are you kidding?
开什么玩笑
I hop threads every morning, son!
我每天早上都会跳两下 小子
Do three in a row and you can keep it.
你来个三连跳 就可以把它留下
Well-played, Mosby.
算你狠 莫斯比
Next!
下一个
Have you used it in the last year?
你在过去的一年有用过吗
Gee, I can't remember.
天啊 我不记得了
Are you trying to bribe me?
你是想贿赂我吗
I don't know what you're talking about.
我不懂你的意思
Take it.
拿着
Triangle!
扔去"三角洲"
Next!
下一个
Wow, you're a natural... Dad.
你真是天才 老爸
You know, I love Robin.
我爱罗宾
And her sister's okay, I guess.
连她妹妹 我也爱屋及乌了
But there's something nice about finally having...
不过最终能有个儿子
a son.
还是很好的
I...
我...
Cristalli twins, nine o'clock!
克里斯达利双胞胎 九点钟方向
Now make like your mommy's ovum and split!
你们这对同卵双生儿 可以退下了
Solid biology joke, B-dawg.
一流的生物笑话 巴弟
Woof, woof!
汪 汪
Now, I'll admit, to the untrained eye,
我现在承认 在外行人看来
a few of my packing rulings may have seemed arbitrary.
我的打包规则可能有些随意
Let's Go Italy? Triangle.
《去意大利》 扔去"三角洲"
Triangle...
三脚铁
let's go Italy.
去意大利
A gorilla suit and a blonde wig.
猩猩套装 金色假发
Have you used either of these in the last year?
你们在过去的一年用过吗
Please, Queen Kong...
女金刚 求求你了
be gentle.
温柔点
Nope, haven't used those.
没 没用过
I don't think those even belong to us.
这些东西好像不是我们的
Okay, here's an easy one.
这个好处理
A leaky, ten-year-old beanbag chair
一张用了十年 有洞的豆袋椅
covered in beer, bong water
上面洒有啤酒 烟筒的水
and fossilized Cool Ranch Dorito fingerprints.
还有已经沾有薯片油渍的旧手印
Italy.
拿去意大利
Guys, this chair has been here forever.
这椅子一直都在这里
You gotta take it with you.
你们得带上它
Italy. Ted...
拿去意大利 泰德
Italy doesn't need something that is wrinkled,
意大利不需要一个皱巴巴
red and leaky,
有洞的红色东西
and smells like booze and narcotics.
闻起来还有酒和迷幻药的味道
They've already got former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.
意大利已经有前总理西尔维奥·贝卢斯科尼了
I don't know who that is.
我不知道你说的是谁
All rulings are final.
一切按照规则办事
Okay, why are things that we like getting "Triangled"
为什么我们喜欢的东西要扔去"三角洲"
and crap you like sneaks through? Like what?
而你喜欢的东西却没事 什么东西
That old 50-pound karaoke machine.
五十磅的旧卡拉OK机
Come on!
拜托
We sang in the New Year in '02 on this thing, remember?
02年的元旦我们用它唱过歌♥ 还记得吗
We were Destiny's Child!
我们可是天命真女
And since I was Beyonce ,
我可是碧昂斯
I'm pretty sure I get final say here, so...
所以由我说了算 那...
Oh, we were not your backup singers, bitch,
我们可不是你的伴唱 贱♥人♥
we were a group.
我们是一个组合
I'm sorry, are you guys married to Jay-Z,
不好意思 是你们嫁给了杰斯
or am I married to Jay-Z?
还是我嫁给了杰斯
Italy.
拿去意大利
The way you used that kid having an asthma attack
你利用那个哮喘病发作的小孩
as a human shield?
做人肉盾牌
That took my breath away.
简直让我叹为观止
Yeah. Okay, next,
太厉害了 下一个
I'll be point guy and you lay down cover.
我来打头阵 你趴下掩护我
So I'm...
那我...
are you suggesting that I will not be point guy?
你的意思是 我不能打头阵吗
Look, if Michael Jordan's healthy,
如果乔丹身体健康
you don't let Scottie Pippen run the offense.
谁会让斯科蒂·皮彭控制进攻
Oh, you're from Canada, right.
我忘了 你是加拿大人
If... how do I put this?
如果... 我该怎么说呢
If Wayne Gretzky's healthy, you don't let...
如果韦恩·格雷茨基身体健康 你不会...
Francois...
弗朗索瓦...
What I'm saying is:
我的意思是
hockey is stupid and I'm point guy.
冰球太逊了 老子就要打头阵
Well, I'm point guy or I'm off the team.
我要打头阵 不然我就走人
Gah! You are the most stubborn human being I have ever met!
靠 你是我见过最固执己见的人
You better get used to it...
那你最好习惯...
you're marrying a Scherbatsky.
你娶的是特布罗斯基
Your daughter is not even a fraction
你女儿一点都不像你那样
as obstinate, stubborn and... insane as you are!
冥顽不灵 固执己见 荒唐愚蠢
Where are you, you son of a bitch?!
你♥他♥妈♥在哪里啊 破吊坠
Look away, kids, she's about to pee.
别看 孩子 她要嘘嘘
What...?
什么
I am not some animal.
我又不是动物
I peed 20 minutes ago
20分前我就尿过了
and I buried it neatly because I am a lady!
还把坑埋好了 因为我是一个淑女
Ted, we haven't used this chair in the last year.
泰德 在过去一年里我们都没坐过这椅子
Ergo, Triangle.
因此 应该扔去三角洲
Yeah, I guess I see your point.
我懂你们的意思
I mean, if you haven't used it in the last year...
如果过去一年都没拿出来坐过...
Using it!
现在坐过了吧
Italy! Triangle!
拿去意大利 扔去三角洲
Italy.
拿去意大利
Triangle! Triangle!
三角洲 三角洲
Italy. Okay, stop!
拿去意大利 住手
Every time he lands,
每次他坐下去
that chair farts out ten-year-old Dorito dust.
那椅子都飘出一股陈年臭薯片味
Yeah, it's the chair.
没错 就是椅子的味道
Guys, trust me: you're gonna want this chair in Italy.
相信我 这椅子在意大利会有用的
I... it'll feel like home.
它会让你们有家的感觉
All right, buddy.
好吧 老弟
You win. Italy.
你赢了 它跟我们去意大利
Really?
真的吗
We asked you to be the judge here
既然请你来帮忙做决定
and we gotta trust your opinion.
我们就要相信你的判断
She's right.
她说得对
And with all the traveling that we'll be doing...
而且考虑到我们之后的漫漫旅途
we could probably use a couple of your...
我们或许能用上你所谓的
hands-free belt satchels.
免手提式皮带型书包
You said they were lame.
你们刚说它弱爆了
I hate to admit it,
虽然我很不想承认
but they actually sound useful.
但它们听起来还挺有用的
Could you buy us a couple?
你能帮我们去买♥♥两个吗
Two hands-free belt satchels, coming right up.
两个免手提式皮带型书包 立马就来
Oh, and don't worry, I'll get cool colors
别担心 我会帮你们挑个新潮颜色
so you guys don't look like whatever
你们看起来就不会像
the Spanish term really is for "Fanny Pack Dork."
西班牙语里"挎腰包的二货"一样了
Men, it's us... versus them.
各位 这是我们与他们之间的决战
Our actions here today
我们今天的壮举
will echo through eternity...
将会流芳百世 万古不朽
Stand up straight, Kaden!
给我站直了 凯登
I only have one rule, you worthless maggots:
我的原则只有一个 你们这些小屁虫
We all respect each other.
同袍之间 互爱互尊
I only have one rule:
我的原则只有一个
For every three tens you bang,
每搞到三个极品美女
throw a bone to a five.
就要和一个平庸姑娘搞一次
They're grateful and hard-working and let's face it,
平庸的妹子懂得感恩又勤劳苦干 更何况
sometimes you just want to lay there.
男人有时在床上也懒得动
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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