老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E02
Part 2
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:06 p.m.
I'll cross it out.
我会划掉的
I didn't really cross it out.
我才不会真划掉
Hey, guys, what's up?
伙计们 怎么了
Oh, Quinn's pissed
昆茵生气了
because Barney wants her to sign a crazy prenup.
巴尼想让她签一份疯狂的婚前协议
But is it really crazy?
真有那么疯狂吗
Yes. Well, I'm new to this but guessing yes. Yes.
对 虽然我刚到 但我猜也是
Okay, look. Did I go...
听着 那我有没有...
a speck of sand, a fairy eyelash,
做出像一粒沙 一根仙女的睫毛
a unicorn whisper too far?
一声独角兽的耳语那么过分的要求呢
Perhaps.
或许吧
But can you tell me there's nothing
但是难道你们就敢说
in any of your relationships you'd want to change?
在你们的感情中 没有一点需要改变的地方吗
No behavior you'd want to outlaw?
没有想摒弃的行为吗
No terms you'd want to renegotiate?
没有想重新协商的地位吗
Look me in the eye and tell me I'm crazy.
想清楚再看着我的眼睛 说我疯了
You're crazy.
你疯了
But a funny thing happened that night.
可当晚 有意思的事发生了
Look, I'm not saying he's right, but
我没说他说是对的 可...
Barney does have a little bit of a point.
巴尼的话的确有点道理
But on this one, he may have a point.
在这一点上 他可能说得道理
I mean, look...
我是说
the idea of renegotiating the terms of the relationship,
重新协商感情中两人地位的想法
that's valid.
是正确的
No.
才不是
There isn't anything about you that I'd want to change.
你没有任何我想改变的地方
Well, okay, maybe a couple of things.
或许是有那么一两个地方
Like what?
比如什么
And just like that...
就这样
one of these four couples would break up the very next day.
这四对情侣中 有一对会在第二天分手
Okay, it wasn't Lily and Marshall.
当然不是莉莉和马修
One of these three couples would break up
这三对中 有一对会在第二天分手
What happened?
怎么了
So last night Nick was all like,
昨晚尼克一直在说
"Barney has a point "About renegotiating the terms
巴尼在"协商关系"这点上说得有道理
of the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
然后说了一堆有的没的废话
Yeah, and Marshall was all like,
对啊 马修也这样
"Uh, I want to blah, of the blah,
说什么"我想干嘛干嘛"
uh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."
废话一堆
If I shut my eyes it's like they're here.
如果我闭上眼睛 仿佛能感觉到他们的存在
They're just using Barney's prenup
他们在借巴尼的婚前协议
as a way to complain about us.
来抱怨我们的不是
I'm just saying, you've forbidden certain things
我只是说 你禁止了一些
that I might like to revisit.
我可能还会想去做的事
Marshall, you're not going on a Sasquatch hunt
马修 你不许再跟一群疯子
in Oregon with a bunch of loonies.
去俄勒冈州追寻大脚野人了
Loonies?
疯子
Those brave, bearded men and women are crypto-zoologists,
那些勇敢的大胡子男女都是神秘生物学家
and they deserve the respect that title commands.
你起码该对他们的职称有所尊重
But that's not what I was thinking of.
但那不是我想说的重点
You're too precious with the baby.
我想说的是 你太宝贝孩子了
Okay, when we first came home with Marvin,
好吧 我们第一次带马文回家
there was a bad moment.
发生了点不愉快
Welcome home, buddy.
欢迎回家 孩子
Was it really that high?
真有抛那么高吗
I don't know. I was hormonal.
我不知道 我当时荷尔蒙作祟
And suddenly, this primal,
突然间 这个压抑已久
protective mother voice came out of me.
充满保护欲的母亲的声音嚷了出来
Actually, it was two voices.
事实上 是两个声音
I seriously think one was coming from my vagina.
我严重觉得有一个是我阴♥道♥的声音
Never do that again!
以后再也别这样了
What is the big deal?
有什么大不了的
My brothers and my dad used to roughhouse with me all the time.
我爸和我哥哥以前总把我扔来扔去的
Welcome home, Marshall.
欢迎回家 马修
Hi. Boys...
孩子们
go long.
接好
Stop! Not in the house.
住手 不许在屋里玩
That's how lamps break.
灯就是被你这么打碎的
Now go pass that baby around outside.
想玩宝宝 到外面去
Oh, fumble!
哎呀 没接住
And I turned out perfectly fine.
我还不是茁壮成长了吗
Marshall, this morning you thought
马修 今天早上你还以为
a ghost made your toast.
你的烤面包是鬼做的呢
I didn't put the bread in.
我没把面包放进去
You didn't put the bread in.
你也没把面包放进去
You know what? I will play with my son
我要跟我的儿子玩
however I see fit. And you know what else?
我自有分寸 还有就是
You can honka-honka yourself tonight.
今晚你得"自娱自乐"了
Barney's prenup ruined my night, too.
巴尼的婚前协议也毁了我的夜晚
Okay, uh, what behavior of mine don't you like?
我哪种行为你不喜欢了
I'm talking about the TV thing.
我是说看电视那个
Okay, the TV thing is an argument
我们因为看电视吵架
from, like, three weeks ago.
是从三周前就开始了
Oh, I'm sorry.
抱歉
Didn't realize it takes 42 inches
没想到要42英寸
to keep you satisfied.
才能让你满足
The TV happened to be on.
电视正好开着
I happened to glance at it.
我正好瞥到一眼
Does that make me so weird? No.
那样会很怪吗 不会啊
Not at all. Thank you.
一点也不 谢谢
I may be a little weird.
我可能是有点怪
Oh, yeah.
真舒服
I get... turned on watching myself
做♥爱♥时 我看着自己播新闻的样子
do the news during sex.
变得无比性奋
Yeah, that's a little weird.
对 是有点奇怪
Look, seeing myself on TV makes me
听着 看着电视上的自己
feel confident and sexy.
让我觉得自信又性感
And that is nothing to be ashamed of, right, sisters?
没什么好丢人的 是吧 姐♥妹♥们♥
Never speak of this. Ever.
这事别再提了 永远别提
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
好 那是当然
There's more.
其实还有
Wait.
等等
So when you're doing the news live at 7:00,
你在直播早上七点新闻的时候
you wink to future you watching the rebroadcast at 11:00?
对晚上看十一点重播的自己抛媚眼
Maybe.
可能吧
Never speak of this. Ever
这事别再提了 永远别提
You won't believe
你们不会相信
what Ted did last night.
泰德昨晚干了什么好事
You said you were happy to help him out.
你说你很乐意帮他
Well, now I'm changing my mind.
现在我改主意了
Sorry to interrupt, roomie,
抱歉打扰了 室友
but I am trying to make sausage.
我想做香肠
Where do you keep your pig intestines?
你家猪肠子放在哪里
What's your ex-fiance doing at Ted's?
你的前未婚夫在泰德家干嘛
Klaus came to me a few weeks ago.
克劳斯几周前来找我
Since we broke up,
我们分手后
he lost his job, he got evicted.
他失业了 又被房♥东赶了出来
He's miserable.
他太惨了
I'm so sorry.
不好意思
If I could just take a quick whore's bath
如果你能让我在你家厨房♥水槽
in your kitchen sink, then I will skedaddle.
洗洗腋下和胯下 然后我立马走人
Oh, Klaus, I wish that there was something I could do to help.
克劳斯 真希望我能帮你做点什么
There is, little lady.
你能 小姑娘
I've got a guest room.
我这儿有客房♥
You'll stay here till you're back on your feet.
你在回到正轨前 就住在这里好了
Are you sure?
你确定吗
This is your apartment.
这是你的公♥寓♥
Think of this as our apartment.
把这里当作是我们的公♥寓♥吧
Hero Ted.
扮英雄的泰德
He loves that move.
他好喜欢这样
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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