老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E16
Part 4
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:09 p.m.
Oh, hon, you're shaking.
亲爱的 你浑身发抖
Let's get out of the cold.
咱们找个暖和的地方
Is there anything open near here?
这附近有什么店吗
Hey, I need to go to the ladies' room--
我得去下洗手间
can you watch him for me?
你能帮我照看他一下吗
Of course. I could just eat you up.
当然没问题 真想把你一口吞下去
Look at you, yum, yum, yum, yum.
瞧你 怎么这样可耐 好可耐
You waited 17 years to tell me
你隐瞒了17年才告诉我
that you met the greatest boxer of all time?
你曾经碰到了史上最伟大的拳击手
My son was rocked to sleep by Senator Mike Tyson?
我的儿子曾经被参议员迈克·泰森哄睡着
I wanted to tell you, believe me. How could you...?
我想告诉你的 相信我 你怎么能这样
Okay, this is the right thing to do.
正确的做法是
You got to go up there and break up with her for real.
你上楼去 真正和她分手
And don't worry, if anything happens,
别担心 如果有事
just scream, we'll come rescue you.
尖叫就行 我们会去救你的
Okay.
好的
Did you guys not hear me screaming up there?
你们没听到我在上面尖叫吗
Aw, I feel so awful.
我觉得好内疚
We went to get subs.
我们去买♥♥赛百味三明治了
We got you one though.
不过给你也买♥♥了一个
We didn't get you one.
我们没有给你买♥♥
So, Jeanette's squatting in your room?
这么说你的房♥间被珍妮特霸占了
What are you guys doing here?
你们怎么来了
We heard you screaming from three blocks away.
我们在三条街外听到你尖叫
Why is she in there?
她为什么在房♥间里
Lily, there is no reason why.
莉莉 没有什么"为什么"
That's like asking why is the earth round?
这就像问地球为什么是圆的
Why does the sun come up in the morning?
为什么早上会出太阳
What do I do for a living?
我为什么要工作
There are some questions we're not meant to know the answer to.
有些问题就是注定不该知道答案的
Crazy girls are crazy because they're crazy.
疯妹子是疯子 是因为她们本来就疯
I-I don't think it's quite that simple.
我不认为这么简单
I was talking to a friend of mine about Ted and Jeanette.
我跟一个朋友说了泰德和珍妮特的事
Oh, great, what friend is this?
有没搞错 什么朋友
Uh, just this wise old lady that I know.
我认识的一个充满智慧的老太太
Here's the thing about crazy.
疯狂其实是因为
When a guy sends mixed signals to a girl,
当一个男的发送模棱两可的信♥号♥♥给妹子时
it takes a toll on her psychological well-being.
会给她的心理健康造成伤害
You want to know why a girl acts crazy,
想知道妹子为什么会发疯
look at the guy she's dating.
瞧她的男朋友就明白了
Then you really see some crazy.
你会看到什么叫真正的疯狂
Trust me.
相信我
Are you Mike Tyson?
你是迈克·泰森吗
Now, hold on.
慢着
I've dated tons of crazy girls in my life,
我这辈子约会过数不清的疯妹子
and not once have I ever treated them with anything other than...
我每一次对待她们的方式是...
Oh, right, I'm a monster.
对 我禽兽不如
Maybe the old lady with the face tattoo is right.
也许脸上有纹身的老太太是对的
Maybe the reason Jeanette's acting this way
也许珍妮特会这样的原因
is Ted.
就是泰德
Me? How is this my fault?
我 怎么成了我的错了
Yeah, come on, this is Ted we're talking about.
就是 这可是泰德
I'm sure he didn't do anything to lead her on
我相信他没有做什么事误导她
or send mixed signals, right, Ted?
或是发送模棱两可的信♥号♥♥ 对吧 泰德
Don't talk to me, don't look at me.
别跟我说话 别看我
I hate you and I never want to see you again!
我恨你 我再也不想看到你了
And we got thrown out of the Barclays Center.
然后我们被赶出了巴克利中心
Okay, that's disappointing.
好吧 我失望了
So disappointing.
太失望了
Seriously.
对啊
But that was last night. I mean, it's not like...
但那是昨晚的事了 又不是说...
Listen, Jeanette, we really need to
听着 珍妮特 我们得
have a serious talk about our...
认真谈谈我们的事
So, did Lily leave these boots here
这双靴子是莉莉留在这里的吗
or was it some other bitch?
还是其他贱女人啊
Marshall, Barney, help me!
马修 巴尼 救命
I don't think they're coming.
我想他们不会上来了
I guess not.
我想也是
It's those red boots.
都怪那双红靴子
They just look sexy on everyone.
谁穿上都是那么性感撩人
Okay, Ted, what is with the red boots?
泰德 你对这双红靴子有什么情结啊
You're a smart guy, you've got some taste,
你是个聪明人 你有品味
you got a visual sense, I mean,
你长了眼睛
you're an architect for Pete's sakes.
你可是个建筑师啊
How can you look at those boots and think...
你怎么能看着那双靴子然后觉得...
Oh, my God, I'm holding it, I'm holding the baby.
我的天 我抱着他 我抱着宝宝
What, you've never held him before?
你从来没抱过他吗
Uh, tons of times.
抱过无数次了好吧
This-this is not a big moment for me.
这对我来说可不是什么重大时刻
This is exhilarating.
太令人激动了
Look, yes, I know what you're gonna say.
好了 我知道你要说什么
I have to break up with her.
我必须和她分手
No, I was actually gonna say the opposite.
不 我准备说相反的话
I think you need to be with Jeanette right now.
我认为你现在应该和珍妮特在一起
Because she's the one.
因为她就是我的真命天女
No. What? No.
不 怎么会 绝对不是
She's insane.
她是个疯子
But I think you are also a little insane right now.
但我认为现在你也有点疯
So I think you need to go be with your crazy girl for a while
你应该和你的疯妹子约会一段时间
and when it all goes down in flames--
然后等到一切热情燃烧殆尽时
and I don't mean that figuratively,
我不是在打比方
I expect there to be actual flames...
我盼望着能真的有一场熊熊大火
And there were.
还真被她说中了
...we'll be here for you because we love you.
我们会陪着你的 因为我们爱你
Jeanette I just want to say that, uh,
珍妮特 我想说
you going through my stuff like that...
你这样乱翻乱砸我的东西
You are really something special.
你真的很特别
I'm gonna send Lily a dead animal in the mail.
我会给莉莉寄一只死动物
I think I'm falling for you.
我想我真的喜欢上你了
I think we should have a three-way with my therapist.
我认为我们应该和我的心理医生玩3P
He's 70.
他70岁了
What is your ring size?
你戴几号♥的戒指
Robin.
罗宾
It's 3:00 in the morning.
已经凌晨三点了
Really?
真的吗
Yeah, you sure you don't want to just
对 你要不要把他
put him in the crib and, you know, go home?
放进婴儿床 然后回家休息
No, I'm good.
不用 我没事
Okay.
好吧
Good night.
晚安
Good night.
晚安
What's that smell?
那是什么味道
Lily! Lily!
莉莉 莉莉
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
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