老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E19
Part 2
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:10 p.m.
I need this place to go to someone worthy.
这房♥子得卖♥♥给一个值得拥有它的人
And I've made some inquiries.
我还做了些调查
Barney?
巴尼
My son.
我的孩儿
Barney, enough with the floating Jor-El head
巴尼 不要再玩《超人》"孤独城♥堡♥"里
from the Fortress of Solitude in Superman, okay?
乔·艾尔漂浮头的把戏了 好吗
It's getting old.
太老套了
I only use it to say really important stuff.
我用这种形式来表示事情很重要
Last time you used it to tell me
上一次你用这个形式是告诉我
Wendy's had introduced a spicy version of "The Baconator."
温蒂汉堡推出了辣味的"熏肉巨无霸"
Exactly.
正是
And now, my son...
我的孩儿...
it is time for me to bestow on you...
我有物相赠
Can we just talk face-to-face like normal people?
我们能不能像普通人一样面谈
Ted, just...
泰德 就...
just...
行行好...
okay?
可以吗
My son,
我的孩儿
it is time for me to bestow on you...
我有物相赠
Close the door.
关门
No. This is...
不 这...
Oh, my God, can you just be cool?
天啊 你能不能酷一点
Once? Please?
就一次 好吗
Just once?
就这一次
Can you just once be cool?
你这一次能酷点吗
Once?
就一次
Please?
拜托了
My son...
我的孩儿...
for many years
多年以来
this apartment has been my Fortress of Barnitude.
这个公♥寓♥就是我的"孤巴城♥堡♥"
But now the time has come
但是 是时候将此地
for me to pass it on.
传承下去了
Soon, this place will become
很快 这里就会成为
your "Fortress of Soli-Ted."
你的"孤泰城♥堡♥"了
Barney, I wouldn't live here even if
巴尼 就算你用洗手液 青霉素和圣水
you scrubbed every inch of this place
把这里的每一寸地方都刷遍了
with Purell, amoxicillin and holy water.
我也不会住进来的
Fine.
好吧
But I think we can both agree,
不过你肯定也不会否认
it would be totally awesome to see my deal
让我的老二通过乔·艾尔摄影机
floating around all huge-like on the big Jor-El cam.
也漂浮一把 肯定酷毙了
Hold on.
等等
Now, it's a little cold here in the Fortress,
城♥堡♥里有些冷
so don't judge... Ted, wait.
那就别评判大小... 泰德等等
What did you...
你...
That's... okay, that's not funny.
好吧... 这一点也不好玩
Ted, open the... Uh... walls closing in.
泰德 打开... 两边的墙在逼近
I can't... can't breathe.
我不能呼吸了
Must...
必须
show deal...
通过乔·艾尔摄影机
on Jor-El cam...
展示老二
I...
我
Oh, well, guess I'm keeping this place forever, good night.
我还是把这地方留着吧 晚安
Wait a... wait a minute, that's it?
等等 就这样
Ted wasn't interested in buying your apartment,
泰德不想买♥♥你的公♥寓♥
so you just gave up?
你就这么放弃了
Barney, I gave up
巴尼
my beautiful two-bedroom apartment
我放弃了我在上西区
on the Upper West Side that was rent-free
免租金的漂亮两居室公♥寓♥
and the landlord hand-washed all my delicates.
而且房♥东还会手洗我的贴身衣物
Which is probably why it was rent-free.
也许这就是免我房♥租的原因
The point is,
重点是
I need to buy all new underwear,
我得买♥♥全新的内♥裤♥
and you agreed that we would find a new place together.
你也同意我们一起找一个新地方
Oh, God, Barney,
天啊 巴尼
relationships are about trust and compromise.
爱情就是信任和妥协
You can't just... Oh, you are so dead.
你不能... 你死定了
If I ever figure a way out of here,
如果我能找到出路
I will make your life a living hell...
我会让你生不如死
Lily and I really need this night out.
莉莉和我今晚必须出去
A big fancy dinner and the ballet.
好好吃一顿 好好看一场芭蕾舞剧
Thank you so much for babysitting.
谢谢你帮我照顾孩子
Hey, three bucks an hour, thank you.
一小时三元 谢谢
Oh, hey, baby.
亲爱的
Yeah, I'm just on my way out.
我马上就出来
If you get there before...
如果你早到...
Come on, really?
不是吧 真的
I'll see you later.
待会儿见
Captain?
船长吗
I'm sorry, dude. But, hey,
抱歉 兄弟
look at it this way:
换个角度想
now you don't have to go to the ballet.
你现在不用去看芭蕾舞剧了
Get your head out of your ass, Ted.
别老用你的屁♥股♥思考
There was no ballet.
根本就没啥芭蕾舞剧
We were gonna sneak into your apartment and bang.
我们本打算偷溜去你家 然后大"干"一场
Well, you know what might take both our minds off that?
你知道什么能让我们忘记烦恼吗
A little, uh...
看点
Woodworthy Manor.
《伍家屯庄园》
No, I-I-I can't. I-I promised Lily
不 我不能 我答应莉莉了
that I would wait and watch it with her.
我会等她有空了一起看
And I feel like I'd be cheating on her.
这样我觉得是在背叛她
Sure, sure, sure, sure, I get all that.
好了好了 我懂了
It's just, um...
只是...
You know, tonight they're gonna finally reveal
今晚他们就要揪出
who framed the chimney sweep
是谁陷害扫烟囱的工人
for stealing Lord Stoutshire's gooseberries.
还偷了斯道特夏尔老爷的醋栗
And reveal the winner of the local gardening competition.
还会公布园艺比赛的获胜者
I don't know how they're going to pack
我真不知道这些多内容
all that action into one episode.
要怎么揉进一集里面
No, Ted, you know i promised Lily, I...
泰德 你知道我答应了莉莉
Just let it happen.
顺其自然
Later that week, Barney came home to discover
那周晚些时候 巴尼回家后
that Robin had a little surprise waiting for him.
发现罗宾给他准备了一个小惊喜
Mimosas?
合欢鸡尾酒
Freshly-baked cookie smell?
满屋子刚出炉的饼干味
A middle-aged woman in a red blazer?
身着红色运动上衣的中年女人
I see what this is.
我明白了
You finally green-lit my orgy idea!
你终于同意我杂交派对的想法了
Okay. It's an open house, Barney.
这是房♥子开放参观日 巴尼
Say good-bye to your fortress.
向你的城♥堡♥说再见吧
If we weren't about to have an orgy,
如果不是等下要开始的杂交派对
I'd be so mad at you right now.
我现在一定会超不爽你的
If you'll follow me into the bedroom,
如果你们跟着我进卧室
I'll show you some beautiful woodwork.
我会给你们看一些精美的木制品
I am way too upset right now to point out
我现在怒气冲天 都不想说出
how many women have seen
有多少女人进去看过
some beautiful woodwork in there.
那些精美的木制品
Angry self five! Rah!
愤怒的自我击掌
Robin, i did not agree to this.
罗宾 我不同意这样做
Yes, you did.
不 你同意了
That is why I gave up my apartment.
所以我放弃了我的公♥寓♥
Not so I could live in a disease-riddled bang pad
不然我就是生活在一个充满病菌
haunted by the ghosts of your ex-skanks.
被你前任贱♥人♥们灵魂围绕的打炮房♥里
The bathrooms are Italian marble.
浴室铺的是意大利大理石
Hello, old bean. Jolly good evening, isn't it?
老伙计 今晚真不错 是吗
What are you doing here?
你们在这里干什么
And why do you sound like Madonna?
你说话怎么像麦当娜一样
Uh, Robin asked us all to come here and pretend
罗宾请我们一起来
that we are prospective buyers
假扮成非常喜欢这公♥寓♥的
who love this apartment.
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老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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