老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E10
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:07 p.m.
Lily, I just saw the worst thing ever!
莉莉 我刚看到了史上不堪入目的事情
Kind of busy right now, Marshall.
我现在不方便说话 马修
Quiet. He can hear you.
安静 他能听见你
Who's "He"?!
"他"是谁
He's coming! Everyone shut up!
他来了 都闭嘴
Okay, kids, you're probably wondering how we all got here.
孩子们 你们一定很好奇事情的来龙去脉吧
Oh, hey, buddy, can we borrow your air mattress?
哥们 能借用你的充气床吗
My mom's coming into town for a few days.
我妈要来纽约住几天
Absolutely not.
当然不行
Bummer, I guess she can't stay with us.
太扫兴了 那她就不能和我们一起住了
Hey, look, what I just found.
看 我找到了什么
A list of hotels and other creative housing options.
宾馆和其它富有创意的住房♥选择清单
Baby, my mom is not staying at a hotel.
宝贝 我不会让我妈住宾馆的
Or our storage unit.
更不会住我们的储藏室
Why can't we borrow your air mattress?
为什么不借我们充气床呢
Because when you animals borrow things,
因为你们这帮禽兽借东西
you never return them.
从来不还
That's ridiculous.
真是扯淡
No, my Cleveland, Ohio, Chamber of Commerce
不 我的俄州克利夫兰商会
mini-cooler is ridiculous.
迷你冷藏袋才是扯淡
Ridiculous at keeping stuff cold
扯淡之处在于它在冷藏东西的同时
while also promoting Ohio's second-largest rubber producer.
还替俄州第二大橡胶产地做宣传
Watch your back, Akron.
当心了 艾克伦市[俄州另一城市]
I totally gave that back.
我绝对还你了
And what about that "Vote For Ted" hoodie
那我高中竞选校财务主管时
from when I ran for treasurer in high school?
上面写有"投票给泰德"的那件卫衣呢
Mrs. Gooding said
古丁老师说
my concession speech was quote, "Full of grace."
我的败选演讲"优雅无比" 这是原话哦
I don't recall borrowing that.
我不记得有借过那件衣服了
And whatever happened to my limited edition DVD
还有我的限♥量♥版DVD呢
of the classic 1989 Silverman-McCarthy romp,
1989年西尔弗曼与麦卡锡的经典恶搞电影
Weekend at Bernie's,
《老板度假去》
"Borrowed" well over six months ago?
都被人"借走"半年了
Yeah, I'm keeping that.
没错 还在我这里
Those extra features are awesome.
额外附送片段真是太棒了
I mean, that making-of documentary?
我是指那个制♥作♥特辑
"How Bernie Avoided The Gurney: A Cinematic Journey."
《翻身的死咸鱼伯尼 一场电影之旅》
Look, I'm just tired of people borrowing things
听着 我受够了我借出去的东西
and never returning them.
有去无回
If you don't believe me, ask my ex-friend Stuart.
不信的话 去问我已绝交的朋友斯图尔特
Ted, I gave your red cowboy boots back
泰德 万圣节第二天
the day after Halloween.
我就把红色牛仔靴还你了
How could you lie to me right to my face, Stuart?
你怎么可以当着我的面骗我呢 斯图尔特
You are a horrible human being.
你真是太无♥耻♥了
Congrats on your daughter's christening.
恭喜你女儿受洗
And where's the worst abuser of my generosity, Barney?
把我的大方用到淋漓尽致的巴尼呢
Or should I say, "Borrow-ney"?
或者我该称之为"把你借"
You should never say that.
你不该这么说他
And I think he's out with Patrice.
我想他跟帕特里斯出去了
Uch, Patrice? That's still happening?
帕特里斯 他们还好着呢
Kids, you remember Patrice.
孩子们 还记得帕特里斯吧
She worked with your Aunt Robin.
她是罗宾阿姨的同事
Robin! You left your purse at the vending machine,
罗宾 你把包落在贩卖♥♥机上了
and some guy tried to steal it!
有人想偷走
I fought him off, but I think I dislocated my shoulder.
我把他打跑了 可我好像肩膀脱臼了
You scratched the leather!
你把皮给抓坏了
Can't you do anything right, Patrice?!
你有什么事能做对的吗 帕特里斯
That Barney-and-Patrice thing is so bogus.
巴尼和帕特里斯交往真是太假了
He's clearly trying to get back at me
他显然是因为我拒绝了他
for rejecting him.
而报复我
Um, Robin, after you rejected Barney,
罗宾 你拒绝巴尼后
didn't he reject you?
他不是也拒绝了你吗
And didn't you go over to his place
你难道没有穿着黑紫相间的内衣
and try to sleep with him in your purple-and-black underwear?
跑去他家投怀送抱吗
Hey, uh, Lil, feel free to disregard that
莉莉 "绝不许告诉别人"这种约定
"Don't tell anyone about this ever" thing.
你就尽管无视吧
She has your mini-cooler.
你的迷你冷藏袋在她那里
I knew it!
我就知道
But seriously, what other reason would
可说真的 巴尼还有什么理由
Barney have to date Patrice?
要和帕特里斯交往
It's an over-correction.
这是矫枉过正
How dare you?! What is that?!
亏你有胆说 这词什么意思啊
Barney was engaged to Quinn,
巴尼和昆茵订婚了
a stripper he never really trusted.
一个他从没真正信任过的脱衣舞娘
So he overcorrects by dating her opposite:
所以他矫枉过正 和与她完全相反的人好上了
warm and nurturing Patrice.
暖人心扉又会照顾人的帕特里斯
That does happen, like Ted.
确实如此 就像泰德
After you broke up with sweet innocent Victoria.
在你和天真可爱的维多利亚分手后
No, you hang up first.
不 你先挂
No, you hang up first.
不 你先挂
No, you hang up first.
不 你先挂
Hang up, you little bitch!
挂电♥话♥ 你个小贱♥人♥
Over-correction.
矫枉过正
Yeah. And it's not just relationships.
对 而且不止适用于恋人之间
Remember when that comedy club owner told Marshall
记得那家喜剧俱乐部的老板告诉马修
that his "Funny fish names" stand-up act
他的"爆笑鱼名"单口相声
didn't have enough edge?
没什么优势吗
Flounder? I barely know her! Oh!
比目鱼[慌乱] 我不太认识她
Over-correction.
矫枉过正
Although it was better than his Chris Rock rip-off.
不过比他剽窃克里斯·洛克要强[黑人谐星]
A trout with a daughter has one job.
带着女儿的鲑鱼有份差事
One job!
一份差事
To keep her off the fishing pole!
保护她远离鱼竿
You suck!
弱爆了
Lily!
莉莉
I'm a little worried about Ted.
我有点担心泰德
I mean, we're parents now,
我们现在有了孩子
and even Barney is moving on.
连巴尼也向前看了
I just wish he had someone to talk to.
我只希望他能有个人说说话
Even for a week.
哪怕只是一周
Or you know, four days, three nights.
或是四天三晚
My mom is not staying with Ted!
我不会让我妈住泰德那里
He'd love her bacon-gummy bear pancakes.
他会喜欢她做的培根小熊软糖煎饼
I'm her special boy, I get her special pancakes.
我才是她的专宠 她的煎饼只给我做
But my dad is here nannying all the time.
可我爸总在这里当保姆
Then add your mom in?
还要加个你妈
This place is crowded enough already.
这地方已经够挤了
Hey, Lil,
莉莉
let me know how the pump's working.
吸奶器能用吗
I cleaned it for you.
我帮你清洗过了
It's fine, Dad.
能用 爸
Yeah, I had to check the suction,
好 我得检查吸嘴
so I tested it on myself.
所以我自己试了试
Oh, no.
不是吧
Don't worry, the suction's fine,
别担心 吸头是好的
actually kind of nice.
其实挺舒服的
Okay, Barney is so not for real about Patrice.
巴尼对帕特里斯不是真心的
Today he did the craziest,
今天巴尼做了一件超级疯狂
most clearly staged for my benefit thing ever.
超级正中我下怀的事了
Hey, Patrice, you ready for lunch?
帕特里斯 去吃午餐吗
Sure.
好的
Right, right?
是吧 是吧
I mean,
我是说
what's next, birthday gifts?
下一个是什么 生日礼物
Wake up, people, this is not an overcorrection,
别做梦了同志们 这不算是矫枉过正
it's fraud, and we need to keep trying to stop this.
这是一个骗局 我们得继续阻止下去
What do you mean, "Keep trying"?
你说"继续阻止"是什么意思
Barney is not who you think he is.
巴尼不是你想象中的那种人
What do you mean?
你这是什么意思
Well, he has a book of plays he uses
他有一本秘笈
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
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