老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E16
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:09 p.m.
Kids, early in this story,
孩子们 你们可能还记得
you may recall me saying something along the lines of...
我曾在故事开头说过类似这种话
Okay, no more dating.
好了 再也不谈恋爱了
I am ready to settle down.
我已经准备好安定下来
And at the time, I probably thought I meant it.
当时 还真以为自己是发自肺腑的
But, kids, I'll be honest.
不过 孩子们 说实话
Being single's fun.
单身真是太欢乐了
As a young unattached man in New York City,
做为一名纽约的年轻单身汉
I had a great time.
我过得精彩极了
A great time.
真心精彩啊
What was I saying?
说到哪了
Oh, yeah.
对哦
I had such a great time that it took someone very special
我过得精彩极了 直到出现一个很特别的人
to make me want to settle down.
才让我有了安定下来的想法
And that someone...
而那个特别的人
was Jeanette.
就是珍妮特
What made Jeanette so special? Well...
珍妮特特别在哪里
That was a foul!
那是犯规啊
Jeanette was the last girl I dated
珍妮特是我遇见你们妈妈之前
before I met your mother.
最后一个女友
The girl who finally got me to say...
那女孩最终让我决定
>No more dating.
不再恋爱了
I'm ready to settle down.
我准备好安定下来了
...and really mean it.
发自肺腑的
But let's back up a little bit.
不过时间先往前倒一点
She broke your TV with a beer bottle?
她拿酒瓶砸坏了你的电视机
In her defense, she was aiming for the window.
拿她的话说 她本想砸窗户的
Dude, you gotta get rid of this girl.
老兄 你得甩了这女的
Agreed. Cray-cray gotta go bye-bye
同意 你得在这疯妹妹
before you get stab-stabbed.
拿刀刀捅你前 跟她说拜拜
Oh, really?
是吗
And are you guys saying this
你们这么说
because you don't want me to be with Jeanette,
是不希望我和珍妮特在一起
or because you want me to stay single
还是不希望我恢复单身
so you guys can keep your clubhouse?
好让你们继续塞东西过来啊
J'accuse!
我控诉[法语]
I had a point, and they knew it.
我不是无的放矢 他们也心知肚明
You see, in early 2013,
2013年初
I was the only single guy in the group.
那时就我一人还单着
Which meant whenever Marshall or Barney bought something
这就意味着只要马修和巴尼买♥♥了
they weren't allowed to keep in their apartments...
伴侣不准他们放家里的东西...
You know what, Ted? That reminds me.
话说 泰德 这让我想起来
I just bought this antique Swiss clock,
我刚买♥♥了个瑞士古董钟
but Robin won't let us put it in the apartment,
不过罗宾不让放家里
so I was gonna leave it at your place.
于是我就打算放你这了
Only problem? It's broken.
不过有个问题是 它坏了
So I was just gonna sit here and try to fix it
所以我会坐这 试着修好它
while maybe you tell us what you and Jeanette did last night?
你也可以顺便说昨晚和珍妮特做了什么
Okay. Well, uh, Jeanette is a big Marilyn Monroe fan.
好吧 珍妮特是玛丽莲·梦露的脑残粉
There you go! Now it's working!
可以了[听到了吧] 能叫唤了
Sorry. Sorry. Go on. Go on. She's a Marilyn Monroe fan
抱歉 继续说 她是玛丽莲·梦露的粉丝
so I guess you watched one of her movies?
我猜你俩一起看了她的电影吗
Uh, No, we had a seance.
没有 我们召唤了她的亡灵
Look at that! Good as new.
瞧[听他说的] 跟新的一样
Anyway, were you able to contact Marilyn
然后呢 你们跟异度空间的玛丽莲
in the spirit world?
通上话了吗
No. We talked to her cat.
没 我们跟她的猫通上话了
Screw loose! That's the problem.
螺丝松了[脑子坏了] 问题找到了
Looks like somebody's hungry.
貌似有人肚子饿了
I'm gonna get his food ready.
我去给他弄吃的
Robin, can you grab him?
罗宾 你能把他抱起来吗
Can I? Try and stop me!
我能吗 真是求之不得啊
Now, kids, what Lily didn't realize--
孩子们 莉莉没有意识到
what none of us realized, in fact--
其实我们都没意识到
was that in the eight months since your cousin Marvin was born,
你们的堂兄马文出生了八个月之久
Robin had never once held him.
罗宾还一次都没抱过他呢
The truth was, the thought of holding him terrified her,
事实上 她想到抱他就怕
so she had always avoided it, ever so discreetly.
因此她一直在不着痕迹地回避
Can you hold... Oh, shoot! Look at that!
你能抱着... 该死 瞧啊
Oh, geez.
天哪
I got him.
我来抱
Come here, you little munchkin.
来啊 小乖乖
Aw, man...
老兄
Oh, well, I call next.
那下次我来
Well, I should go. It's time for Jeanette's... something.
我该走了 珍妮特的非常时间到了
Time for Jeanette's what, Ted?
珍妮特的什么非常时间 泰德
Uh, we're taking her dog to an exorcist.
我们要带她的狗狗去驱魔人那
Wow, Ted, that sounds...
泰德 那听起来...
Crap, it's really broken now.
该死[真扯淡] 这回是真坏了
Okay, fine. I admit it. She's crazy.
好吧 好吧 我承认 她疯疯癫癫的
Obviously.
这明摆着的
But I'm not in this for the long haul.
但我又不是要跟她过一辈子
It's just, you know, it's just fun.
现在只是好玩而已
Of course it's fun, at first.
一开始的确好玩
But then when she starts calling out the name of her
不过在翻云覆雨时 她开始喊她
high school science teacher in the throes of passion,
高中理科老师的名字时
it's really fun.
就更好玩了
But then when she starts bringing knives into bed
然后她把刀带到床上
and making you fear for your safety?
害你为自身安全担惊受怕是
It's really, really fun.
那更是好玩到不行啊
But then when she starts unbuttoning your pants
再后来她逼你在高速上蒙着眼睛开车时
while you're being forced to drive blindfolded
还一边要解开你的裤子
down the freeway with a gun pointed at your...
并拿枪指着你的...
I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
不好意思 我们在聊什么来着
Jeanette.
珍妮特
Oh, right. That girl's crazy.
对哦 那女孩是个疯子
You gotta break up with her.
你得跟她分手
I know. I know. You're right. I-I have to break up with her.
我知道 你们是对的 我应该跟她分手
I should do it in a public place, though,
不过我得在公共场合分手
so she doesn't flip out.
以免她失控
So the next night, I met her in a public place
于是第二天晚上 我和她约在公共场所
so she wouldn't flip out.
以免她失控
I will kill you, ref!
我要杀了你 裁判
I will kill you in front of all these people!
我要当着这么多人面把你碎尸万段
Oh, boy.
老天啊
What, you think I won't just 'cause I'm in a public place?!
怎么 你以为我在这么多人面前就不敢吗
I'll go to jail for the rest of my life if I have to!
老娘豁出去了 下半辈子坐牢也愿意
Listen, before the game starts, I think we need to talk.
比赛开始前 我想跟你谈谈
I can't believe Ted's dead.
真不敢相信泰德死了
I know.
就是啊
What a way to go.
死得真惨啊
Killed by a bazooka.
被火箭筒给爆了
All right, all right, so I'm not on my game today.
行了行了 我心情不好打得差嘛
I did just break up with someone last night.
我昨晚刚跟人分手嘛
Anyway...
总之
I gotta hop out for a bit.
我出去溜达一会
You guys stay here.
你们待在这
Oh, and, um, if Jeanette comes by,
如果珍妮特来了
do not let her into the apartment.
千万别让她进来
Don't let her in. Got it.
别让她进来 收到
Guys, this is serious. This girl is like bedbugs.
伙计们 我是认真的 这女的就跟臭虫一样
Once she's in the apartment, there's no getting her out.
一旦进来了 赶都赶不走啊
Ted, buddy,
泰德老兄
how long have we been dealing with
我们一起合力对付
Barney's insane girlfriends? Years.
巴尼的疯女友们多少年了 好多年了吧
Nigh on a decade!
历时近十年
I had to testify in five competency hearings.
我都五度出席听证会 指证被告精神失常
I think we can handle Jeanette.
我认为我们对付珍妮特绰绰有余
Okay, okay.
好吧 好吧
See you soon.
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老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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