老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E15
Part 1
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:09 p.m.
Kids, sometimes when you're about to give up
孩子们 有时当你第17次产生
on your love life forever for the 17th time,
想彻底放弃爱情的念头时
destiny intervenes.
缘分来了
Instead of rushing in,
我没有急于求成
I took my time to think up the perfect opening line.
而是细斟慢酌最佳开场白
Wait, no, damn it, come back!
等等 不要 靠 回来啊
You're really...
你真的很...
You're pretty!
妹子 你真俊
And before I could call out after her,
我来不及极尽各种窘态
in any kind of embarrassing way
追着她后面大声喊
that a bunch of teenagers made fun of for the next five stops
地铁那群小毛孩在后面那五站地一直笑我
while I stared straight ahead and pretended not to hear them,
我双眼紧盯前方 假装什么都没听见
she was gone.
她就这样走掉了
But here's the thing about Ted Mosby:
但是泰德·莫斯比了不起的地方就在于
he doesn't give up.
他永不言弃
Stalker Ted alert.
警惕跟踪狂泰德
Repeat, Stalker Ted alert.
重复 警惕跟踪狂泰德
Already has a yellow legal pad going.
已具备标准黄色便笺簿
Repeat, already has a yellow legal pad going.
重复 已具备标准黄色便笺簿
I'm not stalking.
我不是跟踪
I just jotted down a few details to help me find her.
只是随手记下一些方便找到她的细节
Llike the fact that her smile was cute,
例如 她笑容甜美
but a bit crooked,
但是嘴歪
which can be a sign of teeth grinding.
可能有磨牙的症状
So I called up the city's top five TMJ specialists,
因此我打电♥话♥给市里五位顶尖的颞下颌专家
and here's where it gets interesting.
有意思的地方来了哦
Not interesting, Ted, creepy.
不是有意思 泰德 是吓人
Let her go.
放过人家吧
No, this is destiny.
不 这可是缘分
No, Ted, this is forcing it.
不 泰德 这是刻意为之
When Lily and I met, I mean, that was destiny.
莉莉和我的相遇 才叫缘分
She could've knocked on any door
大学有那么多宿舍
to find someone to fix her stereo,
宿舍里有那么多人可以帮她修音响
but she knocked on mine.
但她偏偏敲了我的门
Now hand over the pad.
把便笺簿给我
Ted...
泰德
And the backup pad.
还有备用便笺簿
They were right.
他们说得对
You can't force destiny.
缘分不能刻意为之
If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen.
命里有时终需有 命里无时莫强求
And funny story, kids...
有趣的是 孩子们
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
It's you.
是你
...it happened.
我命里还真的有
Subway Girl's name is Jeanette,
地铁女孩名叫珍妮特
and she does grind her teeth.
她确实磨牙
I assume that started the moment she met you?
是遇见你之后才开始的吧
Uh, well, the fact is
事实是
she wanted to find me.
是她想找到我
The first thing I did was list out all the details
我做的第一件事 就是把印象中关于你的细节
I remembered about you.
都列出来
Is... is that a yellow legal pad?
那 那是标准黄色便笺簿吗
Yeah.
正是
I've even got a backup. Oh, my God.
我还有备用的呢 不是吧
You had a tweed blazer
你穿着花呢外套
and chalk all over your hands,
手上都是粉笔灰
so I figured you were either a professor
我猜你要么是个教授
or a British gymnast.
要么是英国的体操运动员
I'm bloody good on the pommel 'orse.
我超级擅长鞍马哦
Regrettin' this accent.
后悔说英音了
Can't seem to stop.
似乎停不下来了啊
So then I asked the lady at the student center
所以我问学生中心的女士
where I could find the youngest, cutest professor on staff.
哪里能找到最年轻 最迷人的教授
And...?
然后呢
She sent me to a physics class.
她让我去听物理课
Professor Leyborne?
莱伯恩教授吗
I wonder if she'd think Dr. Goodhair was so cute
她要知道帅发型博士一年多没发表论文了
if she knew he hasn't been published in over a year?
是否还会觉得他迷人
Then she sent me here,
然后她让我到这来
but the security guard wouldn't let me in without an ID.
但是我没有ID卡 保安不让进
I was about to give up
我都快放弃了
when the fire alarm just sent you out.
结果火警响了 你出来了
It was like...
就像
Destiny.
缘分
Right? Right?
对吧 对吧
It's a meet-cute.
真是美丽的邂逅
It's a stalk-crazy.
真是疯狂的跟踪
Look... there's a fine line between love and insanity.
听着 爱与疯狂之间有条分界线
It's... the Dobler-Dahmer theory.
也就是多布勒-达莫理论
Oh, no...
不是吧
Damn, I always forget the little one. All right.
该死 我总是忘记没收他的小本子 好啦
If both people are into each other,
如果双方都对彼此有好感
a big romantic gesture works.
声势浩大的浪漫攻势就很有效
Like Lloyd Dobler holding up the boom box
比如《情到深处》里劳埃德·多布勒
outside Diane Court's window in Say Anything.
在戴安·科特窗外举着大录音机
But if one person isn't into the other,
但只要有一方不感兴趣
the same gesture comes off serial-killer crazy,
同样的浪漫会演变成连环杀手的疯狂
or Dahmer.
换言之 像《杀人狂达莫》
Now, Marshall, the story of how you asked out Lily
马修 你约莉莉的故事情节
is super sweet.
超级甜蜜
** Lily, how you thrill me *
* 莉莉 你让我无比激动
** But it may just even kill me *
* 但我可能会无比难过
** If you do not say "I will-y" *
* 如果这个问题
** To this question *
* 你没回答"我愿莉"
** Will you go out with me *
* 你愿意和我约会吗
I will-y.
我愿莉
Dobler.
多布勒
But if Lily wasn't into you?
可如果莉莉对你没兴趣呢
** Lily, how you thrill me *
* 莉莉 你让我激动
** But it may just even kill me *
* 但我可能会无比难过
** If you do not say "I will-y" *
* 如果这个问题
** To this question *
* 你没回答"我愿莉"
** Will you go out with me *
* 你愿意和我约会吗
Dahmer.
达莫
Whether a gesture's charming or alarming
攻势是迷人还是吓人
depends on how it's received.
取决于受众的反应
And I was charmed by Jeanette finding me,
珍妮特找到了我这一举动迷倒了我
hence... she's a Dobler.
因此 她是多布勒
Don't you think it's a little convenient
你不觉得火警突然响起
how that fire alarm happened to randomly go off?
有点太过凑巧了吧
What are you saying?
你想说什么
Ted, does she have enormous cans? No.
泰德 她的咪♥咪♥超级大吗 不是
Then what we're saying is
那我们想说的是
she's a crazy stalker bitch who pulled that fire alarm
那贱♥人♥是个跟踪狂 是她拉的火警
and you should run screaming.
你应该尖叫着跑开
You know what? I-I don't think that we should be so cavalier
我觉得我们不该随便把"跟踪狂"
with the word "Stalker."
这个词套在别人身上
Why does that word bother you so much?
那个词有惹到你吗
Doesn't bother me.
没有惹到我啊
Wait... do you have a stalker?
等会 有人跟踪你吗
I don't want to talk about this.
我不想谈论这个话题
What do you mean? As your fiance,
什么意思 作为你未婚夫
if you have some psycho stalker out there,
如果有个变♥态♥跟踪狂跟踪你
I should know. It was me.
我应该知道啊 是我啦
I was a stalker.
我以前是个跟踪狂
It was back in Canada.
当年在加拿大时
I liked a guy
我喜欢一个男生
and he didn't like me, and...
他不喜欢我
well, I got a little obsessed.
我有点走火入魔
I'd fill up my journals all about him,
我日记里的每字每句都是他
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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