老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E13
Part 2
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:09 p.m.
No child should have to see a parent go through that.
孩子不该看到家长变成那个样子
Well, it probably took some of the pressure
这样的话 巴尼对见家长这件事的
off the Barney of it all.
压力应该减轻不少吧
Sir, hi.
您好 先生
My name is Barney Stinson.
我叫巴尼·斯丁森
This is Barney?
这是巴尼吗
This man is blond.
这货居然是金发
Grown men are not blond.
成熟男人才不会留金发呢
Dad.
爸爸
Pleased to meet you.
很高兴见到你
That's a very...
你的头发...
fun hair color.
颜色真搞笑
That's nothing-- when he met me, his first words were,
那不算什么 他和我见面时第一句话是
"Nice blouse" You were wearing a blouse.
女衬衫不错 你穿的就是女衬衫
It was not a blouse!
才不是女衬衫呢
Oh, great. You're all here.
太好了 你们都在
Let's talk about our wedding band.
商讨一下婚礼乐队的事吧
How much do you guys think they should rock?
你们觉得他们应该有多嗨
'Cause I vote, a million.
我觉得应该嗨翻天
Yeah, yeah, I think we already settled on a DJ, so...
是啊 我们早就定好DJ了啊
Lily, do you remember the band you guys
莉莉 你还记得你们结婚时
almost hired for your wedding?
差点请的乐队吗
Remember them?
何止记得
I'll call them up and book them for you.
我可以帮你打电♥话♥预定
Just say the word.
只要你一句话
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like we keep coming back
是啊 是啊 我觉得我们又绕回来
to this DJ thing.
说DJ的事了
What do you think, baby?
你觉得呢 宝贝
Yeah, I don't think anyone should book anything right now.
我觉得现在决定 还为时尚早
Why not?
为什么
Well, I am going to go the room marked "Spaghettis,"
我要去标有"意大利面"的洗手间了
which I'm hoping is the ladies room.
但愿那是女厕
"Meatballs" Has to be men's, right?
"肉球"什么的应该是指男厕 对吧
I don't know what the hell "Calamaris" Is.
虽然我搞不懂"鱿鱼"代表的是什么鬼东西
Sir, I-I-I...
先生 我...
Permission denied.
我不准
And it turns out, "Spaghettis" are men.
结果 "意大利面"是男厕
I saw a noodle.
我还看见了一根"面条"
He said no? Yeah, I don't know what we're gonna do.
他不同意吗 对啊 我不知道该如何是好
Relax, baby. I got this.
别紧张 宝贝 交给我
I know how to be persuasive.
我知道如何说服他人
The next day, Uncle Barney met Robin's dad
第二天 巴尼叔叔约罗宾的爸爸
for lunch at the same restaurant.
在同一家餐厅吃午饭
This time, with a plan.
这次 他制定了计划
Hello, Mr. Scherbatsky.
您好 特布罗斯基先生
I think we got off on the wrong foot.
我想我第一次没给您留下好印象
You have my attention.
你现在吸引到我的注意了
I left the meatball at home
我让"肉球"待在家里
so I could talk to you spaghetti to spaghetti.
这样我们就能"面"对"面"谈谈
Sir...
先生
I'm very serious about marrying your daughter.
我是诚心诚意想娶您的女儿
Barney, when I wanted to marry Robin's mother,
巴尼 我想和罗宾的妈妈结婚时
I slaughtered a whole family of bears
我赤手空拳屠♥杀♥了
with my bare hands.
一窝熊
I gave the pelts
我把熊皮
and the bear meat to her father as tribute.
和熊肉给她爸爸作为聘礼
You know what we call that in Canada?
你知道这在加拿大叫什么吗
Manners.
规矩
Would either of you like a mudslide?
你们想来一杯"山崩"饮料吗
I just had one. Thank you.
我刚"崩"过了 谢谢
I'll have a Jazzy Pizzazzy Razzleberry Rainbow Milkshake
我要一杯浮彩绚丽彩虹奶昔
with a swirly straw?
上面插一根弯吸管
You didn't say the magic word.
你忘了说那个神奇的[请]字哦
I'll go get your drink.
小的这就去拿您的饮料
Still crying, huh?
还哭着呢
Yeah. We've tried everything short
对 我们试尽了一切办法
of a pack of smokes and a cup of coffee.
除了让他抽烟和喝咖啡
Still nothing but clean dipeys.
他尿布还是干干净净 没有粑粑
There's only one explanation for this.
只剩下一个解释了
Marvin has potty-trained himself.
马文自己学会了上厕所
He sneaks into the bathroom while we're sleeping.
他趁我们睡觉时去厕所
I'll ask Barney to check the tapes.
我去让巴尼看监控录像
Barney has cameras in our bathroom?!
巴尼在咱家厕所装了摄像头吗
Well, I mean, don't you think?
你难道觉得他没有吗
Hey, guys. Robin, good.
你们好 罗宾 真好
You're here. Bad news.
你来了 坏消息
That wedding band you wanted is booked for May 25.
你想要的那婚礼乐队5月25日已经被预定了
Oh, no. What are you gonna do?
不是吧 你打算怎么办
Oh! Oh, hey! Here's an idea.
对了 我有个主意
Oh, God, Ted, if you suggest a DJ...
天啊 泰德 如果你提议请DJ
Far from it.
才不是
I was going to suggest a band.
我是想推荐一支乐队
A band called... Kool and the Gang.
名字叫库尔伙伴
Robin,
罗宾
would you like for me
你愿意让我
to get Kool and the Gang to play at your wedding?
预定库尔伙伴在你的婚礼上表演吗
Uh... I... yeah, guess so.
应该 可以吧
And would it be okay if they invited their friends,
他们邀请朋友来可以吗
Beyonce and-and ABBA,
碧昂斯 阿巴乐队
and the Bee Gees,
比吉斯乐队
and Journey,
旅途乐队
and Queen?
皇后乐队
What? You're...? What are you say...?
什么 你说什么
How... how is that even possible?
这一切怎么可能办到
I'll tell you how.
我告诉你怎么办到
You hire a DJ.
请个DJ
Wicka-wicka-wicka-burn.
小手一转 万事俱备
Ugh! God, this is, like,
天啊 这大概是
the fifteenth time my dad has sent me a friend request.
我爸第十五次给我发送好友申请了
I'm just gonna hit "Accept."
我♥干♥脆点"接受"算了
No, no, no. No, no, no, no, don't do it, Robin.
千万不行 别这样 罗宾
You don't want to see what's behind that door.
你不会想看见那扇门背后都藏着什么
What are you talking about?
你在说什么呢
He's talking about
他说的是
my mom's 2,000-word review of Fifty Shades of Grey.
我妈为《五十度灰》写的两千字书评
And 14 of those words were "Vulva."
其中有十四个词都是"阴♥部♥"
You're gonna get endless requests to play some game
你会收到无数多的邀请
that has something to do with gangsters and farming.
邀你去玩黑帮游戏或者开心农场
Never mind the embarrassing cheerleading photos
还有令人尴尬的高中时代
from high school.
参加拉拉队的照片
Begged my mom to burn those. Robin,
我都跪求我我妈烧掉那些照片了 罗宾
trust me,
相信我
no good can come from accepting that friend request.
接受父母的好友申请 绝对没有好下场
Yeah, I-I think I may have given you guys the wrong impression.
我大概是误导了你们大家
Okay, my dad is actually not that bad of a guy.
我爸他其实不是个坏人
Do it, Barney. Squeeze that trigger.
下手吧 巴尼 果断扣下扳机
I don't want to do this.
人家不想做嘛
Well, you think I wanted to kill that bear?
你以为我当年想杀掉那只熊吗
Yeah, kind of. Oh, yeah, you're right.
我觉得你是想的 你说得对
I can't do this.
我下不了手
What... what the hell is this?!
你们在搞什么呢
Your dad is crazy!
你♥爸♥是个疯子
He wanted me to kill Fluffernutter!
他非逼我杀了棉花酱不可
I told you not to give him a name!
告诉你不要给他取名字
Well, I did!
我就取了
I gave him a name and a backstory!
我不但取了名 还帮他编了个来历
He comes from a magical rabbit warren
他来自一个魔法小兔窝
underneath the old rusty tractor.
一家老小住在老锈的拖拉机下
He was the runt of the litter, but he persevered.
他出生时先天不足 但却坚韧地活了下来
He... Oh, give me this. Give it to me!
他... 把枪给我 还给我
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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