老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S08E22
Part 4
Oct. 22, 2020, 2:10 p.m.
But make it great, okay?
但记得让我失望得高兴点 好吗
Oh, it'll be great, all right!
肯定会让你高兴的 放心吧
Okay, after two weeks of brainstorming,
经过两周的集思广益
all I have on my list so far is Purell.
现在我只想到免冲洗手液
Marshall, what do you got?
马修 你想到什么
Well, nothing now.
现在没有了
This is impossible!
这是不可能的
How do you make something memorable for a guy
怎样才能给一个每晚过得精彩又难忘的人
who makes every night the best night of his life?
一个难忘的精彩之夜
Give him the worst night of his life.
让他过一个永生难忘的糟糕之夜
We'll give him the worst hotel room
给他最糟糕的酒店房♥间
with the worst entertainment,
最糟糕的娱乐节目
the wrong Karate Kid,
错误的空手道小子
and the absolute last stripper he would want to see.
当然还有他这世上最不想见到的脱衣舞♥女♥
Hold on.
慢着
You want me to pretend my life's gone to crap
你要我假装自己的生活一塌糊涂
and I'm back to stripping just screw with my ex-fianc?
重操脱衣舞旧业 就为了整蛊我的前未婚夫吗
I love it!
我喜欢
That party will be so terrible, he'll have to leave it.
这个派对如此糟糕 他肯定会离开
Then I'll instruct his arch-nemesis to say...
然后我会教他的死对头说
I mean, what kind of loser has his bachelor party
什么样的孬种会在离大西洋城
ten yards from A.C. and doesn't even gamble?
十码远的地方开单身派对 却不赌上两把
Barney will take the envelope of cash I gave him
巴尼会拿着我给他的现金
and head straight into our trap.
直奔我们设下的圈套
Hold on.
慢着
You want us to rig a casino game
你要我们开假赌局
to trick one of our former high rollers?
来整蛊我们的前豪赌客
I love it.
我喜欢
Well, then you get Barney
然后你让巴尼
to use one of these guys as collateral.
用他们之中的一个做抵押
He'll probably choose me. What?
他可能会选我 什么
Well, I'd be worth more. Yeah. Perfect teeth.
我更值钱 牙口好更值钱
Yeah, it's just, uh,
只是
just I'm way more athletic than you.
我看起来比你健壮多了
Yeah, this coming from the guy who's never beaten me at skee-ball.
你滚球游戏从没赢过我 你也好意思这样说
The only reason a mobster might choose you is because
黑帮会选择你的唯一原因可能就是
they'd be afraid I'd go all "Marshall Unchained" on them,
他们害怕我会上演"猛马修出笼"戏码
which obviously isn't a risk with you.
选你就没这风险
Oh, you want to see some "Ted Unchained," Huh?
你要见识下"狠泰德出闸"吗
I'll show you Ted Unchained!
我就让你见识下"狠泰德出闸"
Marshall, would you mind standing over there for good luck?
马修 为了好运 站那边去吧
Oh, yeah, sure.
没问题
Meanwhile, I'll make sure he's abandoned me
与此同时 我会确保他把我遗弃在
in my nightmare scenario.
我的噩梦剧本中
Hold on. You want me to help you trick my own son?
慢着 你要我帮你整蛊我的亲生儿子吗
I love it.
我喜欢
Barney deserves it.
巴尼活该被整蛊下
You know, he told me you were a virgin.
知道吗 他告诉我说你是处♥女♥
Ridiculous! I know.
荒唐 我知道
You are a dirty ho-bag just like me.
你是个人尽可夫的贱女人 和我一样
But he loves you so much.
但他好爱你
And so do I.
我也一样
Wait, hold on. Is there any chance
慢着 有没有可能
this is all too mean to Barney?
这样整蛊巴尼太过分了
Just kidding.
开玩笑的
Okay, we just need the finale.
现在只差大结局了
Oh! The Chinese mobsters chop off my hand
中国黑帮在巴尼面前
right in front of Barney!
砍下了我的手
Yes, we're all equally enthused!
太好了 我们大家都一样来劲
Okay, here's the plan. After I storm off...
这样安排 我摔戒指走人后
Barney!
巴尼
Barney, hurry! Give them the money!
巴尼 快 把钱给他们
Please, hurry! Oh, no!
快点 求你了 不
The Chinese mobster is giving Marshall back
中国黑帮放了马修
and taking me hostage instead,
将我作为人♥质♥
because he says I'm obviously more valuable!
因为显然我更值钱
Can you, can you unlock the door?
可以把车门打开吗
Barney, please!
巴尼 救命啊
They're gonna chop off my hand!
他们会砍下我的手
No, they're not!
不 他们不会
They said you're free, and I think
他们说你自♥由♥了
we agreed that's not something mobsters would do.
而且我们之前说过了 黑帮不会这样做
Ted, come on! This is my thing!
泰德 少啰嗦 这不管你的事
Don't hurt him.
别伤害他
I've got the money.
我有钱
Too late!
太迟了
Not my skee-ball hand!
不要砍我黄金滚球手啊
No...! No...!
不要 不要
No!
不要
Please, just don't shoot me in the face...
求你们了 不要开枪打脸
or the crotch! Surprise!
胯下也不行 惊喜吧
What's going on?
出什么事了
Well, we decided to give you
我们决定在你
everything you wanted for your bachelor party
完全不自觉到的情况下
without you even realizing it.
满足你单身派对的所有要求
Wait, so that's why you made me think Marshall might die?
慢着 所以你让我觉得马修可能会死吗
And I'd lost all that money and my friends hated me
我输了那么多钱 我的朋友恨我
and my wedding was off?
婚礼也取消了吗
You just decided to-to check off
你决定用可以想象到的
everything on this list in the most twisted way imaginable?
最变♥态♥的方式 完成这单上的每一项吗
That is awesome!
真是太赞了
And it was all planned by a girl.
而且都是本姑娘我一个人策划的哦
So, Lily...
莉莉
later on tonight, you want to, um...?
等一下 你想不想...
That was all just part of the act.
那些只是演戏
Y-You knew that, right?
你知道的 对吗
Yeah! Totally.
对 当然了
We pulled it off, right?
我们的演技真出色
Platonic shake!
柏拉图式握手
Everyone, everyone, thank you
各位 各位 谢谢大家
for an incredible bro mitzvah.
给我一个大吃一惊的婚前兄弟礼
Mazel brov!
兄弟万岁
Mazel brov!
兄弟万岁
Mm, oh, you didn't really get everything on the list.
单子上的每一项并不是都完成了
N-No offense to Ralph Macchio,
拉尔夫·马奇奥 无意冒犯你
but he ain't the Karate Kid.
但他不是空手道小子
I couldn't agree with you more.
我完全同意
You know, they almost didn't get me.
他们差点没请到我
But after 18 voice mails...
但在18通语♥音♥邮件后
I returned Robin's call.
我回复了罗宾的电♥话♥
And she told me
她告诉我
how you're one of the few people in the world
你是这世上为数不多的人中
who truly gets The Karate Kid movie.
能真正看懂《空手道小子》的人
So when she asked if I'd help,
她问我是否能帮忙时
well, my answer just had to be...
我的答案只能是
William Zabka!
威廉·泽布卡
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
剧集 | 老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005） | 导航列表