剧集 | 成长不容易(2018) | 导航列表
然后确定了这不适合我
and decided it wasn't for me.
真的 我要是喜欢
And, honestly, had I liked it,
肯定会更进一步
I'd have taken things further.
但我没有
But I didn't.
我认为这是一个男人能做的最直的事了
I'd argue that is the straightest thing a man could do.
我认为一个男人还能做出很多件更直的事
I'd argue there's a million straighter things that a man could do.
烧烤 - 记恨你的父亲
Barbecuing. - Hating your father.
烧烤啊 什么都行 烤龙虾 烤肋排 烤牛排
Barbecuing! Anything... shrimps, ribs, steaks.
知道吗 什么都行 除了亲一个男人
Okay? Anything other than kissing another man.
所以呢 你们现在觉得我是同了
So, what? You guys think I'm gay now?
我是说
I mean...
我都不知道该怎么想了 老兄
I don't know what to think, bro.
那是因为没什么好想的
Well, because there's nothing to think about.
都说了我不是同
I'm telling you I'm not gay.
出自一个留着古铜色挑染发型
Says the dude with the sunkissed highlights,
优雅地用吸管嘬那瓶矿-泉-水的男人之口
delicately sipping on that H-2-O through a straw?
唔 不不
Mm. Mnh-mnh.
不能说是不弯
It's not not gay.
哇哦 - 嗯嗯
Wow! - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
大开眼界啊
This is fascinating.
既然你们很明显是"直男之王"
Since you guys are clearly the "Sultans of straight,"
那为什么不教教我
why don't you school me?
你们直男还会做什么事
What else can't straight men do?
行 既然你问了 - 那开始吧 老兄
Okay. Since you're asking... - Set it off, my man.
看这位兄弟 三点钟方向 瞧见没
Look at my man, 3:00. You see him?
看看他
Look at him.
他在吃香蕉
Okay, he's eating a banana.
除非他是弯的
Unless he's gay,
不然他应该用刀叉吃
he should be using a fork and a knife to eat that.
没错 - 有点过了
Mm-hmm. - It's a little too much.
不 你知道不 算了 好吧
Nah, you know what? Forget it. Okay?
这是我听过的最恐同的鬼话
This is some of the most homophobic trash I have ever heard.
不玩了
I'm out.
什么
What?
突然就气鼓鼓地要走了
Dramatic storm-off?
还有他的肩膀
The shoulders.
绝对是弯的
Definitely gay.
嗨
Hey.
我们找Vivek
We looking for Vivek.
我跟你们没什么话好说
Well, I've got nothing to say to you.
哟 - 喔哦
Yo. - Whoa!
怎么了 一切都还好吗
What's going on? Is everything okay?
Vivek说我们恐同 - 呃 因为你们就是
Vivek called us homophobic. - Well, because you are.
而且显而易见 我是同
And apparently I'm gay
因为我玩了一次"不对劲"的3P 还亲了一个男人
because I had the "Wrong" kind of threesome and kissed a dude.
哇哦 我错过了太多
Wow! I've missed a lot.
等等 你亲了男人啊 - 是啊
Wait, you kissed a guy? - Yes.
好吧 完全不了解这件事
Okay, having absolutely zero knowledge of this event,
我就直接跳到结案陈词了
I would like to jump to a conclusion...
这听起绝对离同不远
this definitely sounds gay-adjacent.
好吧 但是并非如此 好吗
Okay, only it's not, okay?
因为我不喜欢
Because I wasn't into it.
但是 这当然不是重点
But, apparently, it doesn't matter
因为我还用吸管喝水 还吃香蕉
because I also drink out of straws and eat bananas.
Vivek
Vivek.
香蕉 光天化日之下 - 说了吧
Bananas? In public? - Told you.
哇哦 我被恐同包围了
Wow. I'm just surrounded by homophobia.
伙计 我们不是恐同
Dude, we are not homophobic.
只是 你看 定义上
It's just, look, by definition,
两个同性别的人
two people of the same gender
共享一段性♥爱♥就是
sharing a sexual moment is...
就是同性恋啊
...it's gay!
事实如此
That's the facts.
出自一个大一时
Says the girl who, uh,
祈求我施舍一个吻的女生之口
begged me for a kiss freshman year.
唔
Mm.
好吧 那是另一回事
Okay, that was different
那是我 我喝醉了犯蠢
because I-I was drunk and being dumb.
这两种情况完全相同
That's literally the exact same situation.
不 你是个男的
No, it's not. You're a guy.
而且 无意冒犯
And, no offense,
我不觉得Heidi还能跟一个
but I don't see how Heidi can mess with a man
和男人瞎搞的男人混在一起
who's been messing around with other men.
哇哦
Wow.
但你就可以跟他妈一个飞毛腿土鳖瞎搞了吗
But you can mess with a cornball-ass [bleep] who can run real fast?
哈 - 他叫Ricky
Ha! - His name's Ricky,
而且他是队里跑得最慢的 - 可不
and he's the slowest one on the team. - Yeah.
听着 各位 不要吵了
Look, guys, relax.
原则就是
Bottom line is,
女生和另一个女生搞在一起
is that a girl hooking up with another girl
是必经之路 懂我的意思吗
is like a rite of passage, you know what I mean?
而且 老实说 那
And, honestly, it's...
那性感透了
it's hot as hell.
但是男生的话 就是弯透了吗
But for guys, it's just gay as hell?
没错
Yes!
Vivek 得了吧 规矩不是我们定的 朋友
Vivek, come on. We didn't make the rules, man.
没错 但你们在固化过时的社会观念
No, but you're just perpetuating outdated social constructs,
是非常有问题的
which is beyond problematic.
还有恐同倾向
And homophobic!
请你不要这么说了 好吗
Would you stop saying that, please?
这里没有人反对同性恋
Nobody here has anything against gay people.
我支持同性婚姻 真的
I support gay marriage. I do.
我还有 还有一堆同性恋的朋友
And... And I have tons of gay friends.
老兄 听听你自己说的话 - 我是双
Dude, do you even hear yourself? - I'm bi.
就像是 要是我发表了一堆种族歧视的言论
Like, what if I made some racist-ass comment
然后只要再加一句
but then I just followed it up with,
"但是我有很多黑人朋友"会怎样
"But I have tons of Black friends"?
那不是一回事 抱歉
It's very different. Sorry.
我觉得Vivek想说的是
I think what Vivek is trying to say is that
就像种族歧视一样
just like racism,
恐同有各种不同程度
there are varying degrees of homophobia,
但不好意思
and I'm sorry,
你们确实是在恐同边缘疯狂试探
but you're really treading some casually homophobic waters.
天呐
Oh, my God.
说得好 Nomi - 嗯呐
Thank you, Nomi! - Yeah.
再说了 你们是我的朋友
And, look, you guys are my friends, okay?
我知道你们完全是出于无知
I know this is just coming from a place of pure ignorance
而不是仇恨
and not hatred.
主要就是有毒的阳刚之气 - 怎么说
It's mainly just toxic masculinity. - In what way?
你♥他♥妈♥明知故问 王八蛋
You know in exactly what way, mother[bleep]!
哇 - 哦
Whoa! - Oh.
哇 呃 我就不明白了
Yo, uh, like, I-I don't get this shit.
我不明白为什么你睡了别的男人
Yo, I don't get how you smashing old boy
却说我有毒
makes me look toxic.
因为如果换成是你在我们分开时睡了别人
Because if it was you who had sex during the break,
这一切都不会成为问题
none of this would have been an issue.
抱歉 但凡是有自尊的男人
I'm sorry, but no self-respecting man...
任何一个 都不会原谅他们的女朋友
none... is gonna forgive their girl
在她们提出分开的那段时间里
once they asked for a break
去和别人上♥床♥
and went and smashed somebody else.
我说得对吗
Am I right?
我想说 你看
I mean, look,
我并不想掺和你们的事
I don't want to get in the middle of your guys' thing here,
但如果你问我怎么看的话
uh, but if you're asking me what you are,
我会说 我觉得任何有自尊的男人
I will say I don't think any self-respecting man
是不可能坚持六个月不做♥爱♥的
is going six months without smashing, period.
所以严格来说 这就是你挖坑给自己跳
So that's technically on you for agreeing to that.
难以置信 就因为Doug没有
Unbelievable! So, uh, just because Doug didn't, uh,
万花丛中过
run through a bunch of women,
他现在也跟我一样变基了吗 - 不 Vivek
is he gay now, too, just like me? - No, Vivek.
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