蛇蝎美人

Femme Fatales S02E01

Part 1 June 12, 2020, 8:40 a.m.

我们昨晚在屋里
We're in the house last night,
边喝酒边他妈像摇滚明星那样狂欢
Doing shooters, partying like fucking rock stars.
我可以说脏话吗?
Can I say "fuck"?
你们会把那词消音的对吧?
You guys bleep that shit, right?
噢别担心这是付费电视
Oh, no worries. We're premium cable.
噢很好
Oh, awesome.
总之我们都在那
Anyway, we're all there,
而派克斯表现得相当不可一世
and Pecs is there acting all high and mighty
就好像他和哈里王子干上了
like he's fucking Prince Harry or something.
所以我去叫他干自己
So I told him to go fuck himself.
然后他口水喷了我一脸
And then he gets all up in my face,
喊我"贱♥人♥ 婊♥子♥"
Screaming "skank" and "whore,"
我朝着他胸口就是一拳
So I just punch him in the sack.
嘣! 他就怒了大怒!
Boom! He went ape shit, ape shit!
然后整间屋子的人
And that's when the whole house
开始对我们大吼大叫
started screaming at us and yelling.
挨下来的事就记不清了
And then that's when everything kind of starts getting blurry.
只知道醒来后是他妈的早上九点
Next thing I know, it's fucking 9:00 a.m.,
那时我躺在床上边上有人光屁♥股♥
and I'm in my bed, and there's somebody butt-ass naked
从后面贴着我
spooning me from the back.
我祈祷祈祷再祈祷
And I'm hoping, I'm hoping, I'm hoping
那是范·迪塞尔
it's Vin Diesel.
你和派克斯勾搭上了
You hooked up with Pecs.
噢不不是吧
Oh, no, you didn't.
真的你♥他♥妈♥能相信吗?
Yeah. Can you fucking believe it?
噢我他妈居然记得
Oh, like I fucking remember.
然后还有一次...
But then again...
为什么我会记得?
why would I remember?
那头猩猩的鸡♥巴♥就和婴儿手指一样细
The gorilla's dick is the size of a baby's thumb.
嘘
Shh.
可能因为他滥用激素
Probably from all the steroids.
要知道他最后会看到录像的
You know, he's gonna eventually see this.
我才懒得鸟他
I don't give a rat's ass.
可以结束了吗?
Are we done here?
我得和日光浴机约会去了
I need to get some serious face time with that tanning bed.
欢迎来到激♥情♥小屋
Welcome to The Hot House,
六位名流...
Where six celebrities with...
他们有剪不断理还乱的过去
shall we say, complicated histories
却团结友爱地住在一起
live together in peace and harmony
像聪明人一样解决他们的纷争
and resolve their issues like intelligent adults.
噢这听起来没什么意思对吧?
Oh, that doesn't sound like much fun, does it?
或许沉船上的老鼠
Perhaps rats on a sinking ship
形容他们更恰当...
would be a much more accurate metaphor...
而且是没手♥机♥没网络的老鼠
rats without access to cell phones or the internet,
房♥里没窗所有的门也被封死
no windows, and all the doors sealed shut,
完全就是间密室了
under lock and key as it were.
而我们这群幸运观众能全天监视他们
And we, the lucky viewers, get to watch them interact 24-7,
等他们慢慢发现
as they try and figure out
他们那妙不可言的困境
their, oh, so fascinating dilemmas.
不像其他的电视真人秀
Unlike some other Reality-TV shows,
这屋里的人不会被投票淘汰
no one in this house was meant to get voted off.
但最终他们大部分会被除掉
However, in the end, most of them did get eliminated.
问题出在哪呢?
Where did it all go wrong?
或许我们该见见那些同居者了
Perhaps we should start by meeting our housemates.
蒂娜·亨德里克斯...
Tina Hendricks...
出了名的黑富美
famous for, well, being famous.
她父亲有一家电影工作室
Her father runs a movie studio,
所以她能去各种高级派对
so she has access to all the A-list parties.
她自创的面霜和身体磨砂膏....
Her line of face creams and body scrubs--
蒂娜香精...
Tina's Essence--
正在热卖♥♥ 但她出名是因为...
was selling well, but her true claim to fame was...
噢你猜对了...
Oh, you guessed it...
别掉下去了!
Don't fall!
- 噢! - 噢!
- Oh! - Oh!
不要死!
Don't die!
性♥爱♥录影带
A sex tape.
喜欢吃好时巧克力吗?
You like those Hershey's kisses?
- 噢是的 - 噢!
- Oh, yeah. - Oh!
- 它们真甜 - 噢是啊!
- They're so sweet. - Ooh, yeah!
它们真亮
They're so brown.
洛基·斯塔尔...
Lucky Starr...
我的视线已将你锁定
I've got my eye on you
小可爱对吧?
Cute, isn't he?
温柔的嗓音和漂亮的脸蛋
With a velvet voice to go with that adorable face.
<美国巨星>第四名
Third runner-up on Superstar USA.
洛基的首张专辑去年春天惨遭滑铁卢
Lucky's debut album dropped last spring...
然后一直掉到排行榜末尾
then kept on dropping to the bottom of the charts.
你四处调情让我的鞋沾满鲜血噢
your fooling around is getting blood on my shoes, oh
噢蒂娜! 噢蒂娜!
Oh, Tina! Oh, Tina!
有传言说洛基就是那个
Rumor has it Lucky was the one
在网上发布他和蒂娜一♥夜♥情♥的家伙
who leaked his one-night stand with Tina online.
一个不择手段想要
A guy's got to do what he can
吸引公众的家伙
to stay in the public eye.
- 你喜欢吗? - 噢是的!
- You like that? - Oh, yeah!
扯我头发!
Pull my hair!
天啊你真淫♥荡♥!好的!
God, you're so dirty! Yeah!
- 噢! - 喔!
- Oh! - Whoo!
噢天啊你个小荡♥妇♥!
Oh, god, you're so dirty!
罗杰·雷诺兹...
Roger Reynolds...
另一部真人秀<捕捉>的明星
star of another popular reality show called The Catch.
罗杰闹过不少丑闻在节目季终时
Roger caused quite a scandal when he proposed
他向女嘉宾求婚而且还求了俩
to not one but two women in the show's finale.
你真性感
You're so sexy.
嗯我都想和自己约会了
Mmm, I'd date me if I wasn't me.
他不追求一夫多妻优柔寡断而已
And, no, he's not Mormon, just indecisive.
罗杰三周后又求婚了...
Roger was engaged again three weeks later...
对象是蒂娜
to Tina.
但他们已经不在一起了
But they're no longer together.
比比...
Bebe--
没有姓就叫比比
No last name, just Bebe.
她是我们的派对女孩...
She's our resident party girl--
爱吹牛惹人厌宿醉不醒...
Mouthy, obnoxious, and rarely sober--
换句话说是个万人迷...
In other words, a hero to millions...
她的推特好友
with more Twitter followers
比查理·辛和艾什顿·库彻加起来还多
than Charlie Sheen and Ashton K combined.
她也是蒂娜和罗杰
And also the reason why Tina and Roger
不再合体的原因
are no longer an item.
嗨一起来啊
Hi. Come here.
什么?
What?
我们很好
It's all good.
派克斯...明星教练
Pecs...trainer to the stars
一边上演着世上最有激♥情♥的爱情故事
and half of the world's most passionate love story--
一边疯狂地自恋
The other half being himself.
让我们走出去成为第二个阿多尼斯
Let's go out there and be the Adonis God made you to be.
我写的书畅销一空
Book's already flying off the shelf.
下个目标运动视频
Workout video's coming next.
这场真人秀后就是世界提名
After this show, world domination.
就是你了派克斯
That's you, Pecs.
就是你了派克斯
That's you, Pecs.
是你的是你的
Own it. Own it.
有一大群人排队等着享受派克斯的服务
And there's a long waiting list for Pecs' services,
像名流训练营一样...
known as Celebrity Boot Camp...
耶!
Yeah!
因为他以魔鬼训练著称
Because he's known for his killer workout,
能让所有好莱坞菜鸟恢复身材
bound to get any Hollywood starlet back in shape.
是的就是那里
Yeah, right there.
保持这个姿势
Stay right there.
待着别动
Stay right there.
- 怎...怎么回事? - 待着别动
- Wha--what the fuck? - Stay right there.
噢宝贝没得选择必须得加快速度了
Oh, babe, no other choice. Gotta make it go quick.