理发店的笑声（2015）

But she never even made the team.
可是她都没成功进队
That makes no sense.
这不合规矩
II know, but tonight no.
我知道啊 但是今晚 不行
Charmaine would ruin it. She never even smiles.
Charmaine会毁了这场表演的 她从来都不笑
And what kind of owl doesn't smile?
哪有不笑的猫头鹰啊
And that's when Mark came over,
然后Mark过来了
And I was like, "Where did Danni go?"
我就问 Danni去哪儿了
And he was like, "Bad news, C.J.
他就说 告诉你个坏消息啊 C.J
She left with A.J. To give him a b-- "
她和A.J走了 去给他口
Again, I do not know who that person was,
再说一遍 我不知道那个人是谁
And I am so sorry.
我也很抱歉
God, it must feel like ages ago
天啊 你通过破坏我的海报
That you beat me out for junior class president
在初中班长竞选中打败了我
By vandalizing my posters.
都过了这么多年了
You remember that?
你记得那件事吗
You know, I never congratulated you on your win.
我从来都没祝贺过你
What do you say you let me buy you a drink
让我给你买♥♥杯酒来庆贺下你的成功
So we can toast to your big success?
你觉得怎么样
You know, uh, how about I buy you a drink, man?
还是我给你买♥♥杯酒吧 兄弟
Really?
真的吗
You know they don't accept E-ZPass here, right?
你知道他们这儿不收E-ZPass的吧
Yeah, yeah. I bet they'll give it to me for free.
知道 不过他们一定会免费给我酒水的
Okay. And why is that, huh?
好吧 为什么呢
Because you're the former junior class president
因为你是前任初中班长吗
Or, you know, you're the best toll-booth operator
还是因为你是大♥波♥士顿地区
In the greater Boston area?
最优秀的收费站收费员
Or is it just because --
还是因为
Oh, shit.
我靠
Yep. They were free.
不出所料 酒水是免费的
Listen. Uh, buddy, listen. I am so, so sorry.
听着老兄 我非常非常抱歉
If I had kwn, you know...
如果我知道 呃
Known what?
知道什么
You know, that, uh...
就是 呃
That, uh...?
那个 什么
You know, the...
就是
Yeah, I don't --
我不
I just -- I don't know what you're trying to say.
我不知道你想说什么
we had some crazy times,
我们以前挺疯的哈
Didn't we, sally tomato?
是不 性感小番茄
Yeah, I don't know about crazy.
不能说疯狂吧
Mostly you were just a douche.
大多数时候你就是个混♥蛋♥
Oh, oh, I was a douche?
我是混♥蛋♥吗
I never understood,
我一直不懂
How did you get him away from her in the first place?
你最初是怎么把她从他身边带走的
I had someone tell him that his mom was on the phone,
我让人告诉他 他妈妈来电♥话♥找他
And then I told the DJ to play Danni's favorite song.
然后我让放DJ放了Danni最喜欢的歌♥
I went over to her, and we flirted.
我走到她身边 调着情
Then when C.J. Came back, we ran.
C.J回来了 我们跑了
I miss being the kind of guy that could pull that off.
我怀念那个能做出这种事的自己
Can I ask you a question as a friend?
作为朋友我能问你个问题吗
Of course. You're a moron.
当然 你是个蠢货
Not a question, but please go on.
这不是个问题 但是请继续
Danni didn't run off with you that night
Danni那晚跟你走 不是因为
Because you were the captain of the baseball team.
你是棒球队队长
And she didn't run off with you
她跟你走
Because of who you might become.
也不是因为你将来会成为谁
She did it 'cause she's Danni and you're A.J.,
她跟你走是因为她是Danni 而你是A.J
And nothing's changed since then.
之后也是如此
Huh.
啊哈
Mark came up to me and I was like where did Danni go
Mark过来了 我就问Danni去哪儿了
And he was like
然后他就说
Lonnie, has Jenny ever texted you?
Lonnie Jenny给你发过短♥信♥吗
Oh, sure. She texted me this morning
当然啦 她今天早上发短♥信♥给我
To say she'd meet me here at 9:00.
说她九点会在这里和我见面
And then she texted me to say
然后她又发短♥信♥说
She was looking forward to it.
她很期待和我见面
And then she texted me
之后她又发短♥信♥说
How soft and fluffy my dick looked.
我的鸡鸡看上去很柔软很毛茸茸
You know, you'd be doing me a real favor
你要是说仓鼠
If you just said "Hamster."
我会舒服很多的
Noted.
知道了
Lonnie, I have to tell you something.
Lonnie 我得告诉你一些事
I don't think Jenny's coming.
我觉得Jenny不会来了
But you know what? That's her loss.
但是你知道吗 这是她的损失
I mean, you're great guy.
你是个好人
I think there's gonna be a girl out there
我觉得一定会有一个女孩
Who's gonna think you're amazing.
懂得你的好
Oh, she's here. 9:00 on the dot.
她来了 正好九点
I must have thought A.M. and it was P.M.
我一定是把晚上九点当成早上九点了
Huh. That's a relief.
哈 真是松了一口气
I was just about to throw another pigeon at the window.
我正想着再往窗户上扔一只鸽子呢
Hey, there, Tutu. Hope you like food.
嘿 Tutu 带你去吃东西吧
Oh, are you stuck in a tree?
哦 你困在树上了吗
Well, tough shit. Save yourself.
自求多福吧 小子
I'm going to my reunion.
老娘要去参加聚会了
Wow, C.J.
哇哦 C.J.
You have a lot of stories about how wonderful you are.
你有好多体现自己优秀品行的故事
Thanks. Here's another one.
谢啦 还有呢
So, I'm having dinner with the president of harvard, right?
我正在和哈佛的校长吃饭
Hey, uh, are you C.J. Price?
嘿 你是C.J. Price吗
Yeah. Oh, there's a phone call for you at the bar.
对 哦 吧台有你的电♥话♥
Something happened to your mom?
好像是你妈妈出了点事
What? Oh, my god.
什么 我的天
I hope she wasn't driving the boat.
希望她不是去开船了
She's never supposed to drive the boat.
她不该碰那艘船的
Hey, Danni? This one's for you.
嘿 Danni 这首歌♥是给你点的
I waited till I saw the sun
我耐心等待 直到天已破晓
You've got to be kidding me.
你是在逗我玩吗
Hey.
嘿
You didn't.
不是吧你
I might have.
也许是哦
You know what I was thinking might be kind of funny?
你猜我在想什么好玩的事呢
What's that? If you, uh, stood C.J. up again.
什么事 如果你再放一次C.J.的鸽子
oh, really?
哦 是吗
Like if he came back from that fake phone call
就是说 等他发现那通电♥话♥是假的 然后回来
and we were in the backseat of your car
我们已经在你的车后座了
Just like prom?
像毕业舞会一样
Yeah. Just like prom.
对 像毕业舞会一样
Same car, even.
连车都是同一辆呢
That would be funny.
肯定很有趣
So funny.
超有趣
When I saw the break of day
当破晓时分来临
He's coming back.
他回来了
Run. Okay.
快跑 好
In just a couple minutes,
再过几分钟
we're gonna have a real treat for you.
我们有特别款待奉上哦
You're gonna stop talking?
是你终于要闭嘴了吗
The cheer squad is gonna lead us in a cheer.
拉拉队要给我们带来拉拉操了
And, by the way,
顺便说一下
Someone hurled in the ladies' room,
有人吐到女厕所了
and someone who's working tonight
而那个今晚该负责
needs to clean it up, Rita.
打扫卫生的人 是Rita
Now, once you get past the stairs down to the shop,
当你走下楼梯进到店铺
everything's handicap accessible.
就全都是残疾人可用设施了
Yeah, I wouldn't be able to enjoy my success
如果不为那些不幸的人做点什么
if I wasn't, uh, compassionate towards the less fortunate.
我怎能安享自己的成功呢
Yeah, what is this success you keep talking about?
你说的成功到底是什么玩意
Didn't you just buy a crappy old barber shop four blocks from your house
你不就是买♥♥了个离你家四个街区远的破烂理发店
with money that your grandma gave you,
用的还是你祖母给的钱吗
and it's not doing any better business now
而且那店的生意跟你