理发店的笑声（2015）

Okay, Rita. What do you think?
好啦 瑞塔 你觉得这个发型怎么样
Eh. Eh. Eh.
诶 诶 诶
I don't know, Danni. It's not one of your best. Am I wrong?
怎么说呢 丹妮 你还可以剪的更好 对吧
No, you're not wrong. It's all right
对 你说的太对了 完全正确
I like it. You look like Dad.
我特喜欢这个 你看起来像当爹的
What?! What's wrong with you?
你说什么 你怎么这么说话呀
Why would you say that to her?
你怎么这么和她说呀
No, no, no, no, no.
别吵了 别吵了
Thank you so much, Rhonda. See?
真谢谢你的赞美 朗达 看见没有
That's exactly what I want to look like...
这就是我想要的发型
a 70-year-old man who has to smoke through a hole in his neck.
就像一个得靠脖子上的洞来抽烟的70岁老头子
You see why that's not a compliment?
这回知道为啥说错话了吧
Okay, but aside from the hole,
好吧 但是那个洞除外
Dad's a very handsome man. You have to...
老爹是个帅气的男人 你得
He has to plug his hole to talk to people!
他还得堵上他的洞才能和别人讲话
Ladies, ladies, ladies, hold on!
女士们 听着 等一下
Let me just try something here.
让我再试试弄一下这个发型
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
噢 不错 不错
Well, I don't know. I think it's...
呃 我有点蒙 我觉得这个发型真是
Perfect.
堪称完美
Hey, A.J.!
嘿 阿吉
Oh, my god!
我滴个天哪
Rhonda, Rita, Robin, Rosalee.
朗达 瑞塔 罗宾 罗莎
You look good, A.J. You look good.
你看起来真是帅呀 阿吉 不错不错
You know what? I don't know what kind of beer
你知道吗 我不知道你妈在怀你的时候
your mom was drinking when she was pregnant with you,
喝了什么啤酒
but you Doyle sisters look more beautiful
但每次一看到你来剪发 都觉得你
every time I see you.
比上回更漂亮了
Knock it off, you charming son of a bitch!
闭嘴 你个磨人的小妖精
I would sleep with you so hard.
我太他妈想睡你了
It was Sam Adams. Thought so.
简直就是山姆 亚当斯 我也觉得
That's great. Hey, Danni, come here.
那真是太棒了 嘿 丹妮 过来一下
I got to talk to you.
我必须得和你唠唠
You're not gonna believe the phone call I just got.
你绝逼不会相信我刚刚接到了谁的电♥话♥
Why do you always have to tell them that they're beautiful?
为什么你总是说她们美的不行了呢
You just make my job harder.
你让我的工作难得一比
Listen. I won't do it again. Can we go up to the roof?
听着 我也后不会了 能跟我来一趟房♥顶之约吗
I got to tell you something.
我必须和你说点事
Does it affect me?
关于我的吗
If you like hearing good things about me.
如果你想听我的好消息 那就是了
Take a Doyle. It'll go faster.
你去帮我剪一个 我们就能快点走了
Hey, Rosalee, you mind if A.J. Cuts your hair?
嗨 罗莎 阿吉给你剪头发怎么样
Twist my arm!
我不是在做梦吧 快拧一下我胳膊
Yeah, you're gonna let him twist more than that.
嗯 他一会儿不只会拧你胳膊
Oh, yeah, right!
噢 是的 你说的太对了
I'm telling you, buddy，for the last time.
我跟你说 老大哥 真是最后一次说了
The Pats are not the same without Welker. Eh.
理发不能少了韦尔克 呃
Wes Welker made Brady better than he really is.
万斯韦尔克把布兰迪剪得比他本人漂亮多了
Oh, you didn't just say that,
噢 你光在这这么说 也没有卵用啊
Tommy. It's just my opinion, Buzzy.
汤米 这仅仅是我的看法 巴兹
I think Brady... You didn't just say that.
我觉得布兰迪 你不能光那么说啊
You didn't just say to a man
你不能总和一个人这么说
with scissors up your nose
而且这个人还拿着剪子在你面前准备开屠
that Welker made Brady better than he really is?
说韦尔克把布兰迪剪的比他自己本人漂亮多了
Maybe this is bothering you so much
也许这把你惹恼了吧
because you know it's true.
因为你知道这是事实
All right, get out of my chair. What?
好吧 从我凳子上起来 啥
Go on. Get out of my chair.
继续说呀 赶紧从我凳子上起来
You got a problem. You know that? Yeah. You're my problem.
你摊上大事了 你知道不 嗯 你就是大事
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
哦 我这么厉害吗 可不是
Well, don't be surprised
好啊 以后可别太惊讶
if a certain parking-violations officer
如果某个管违章停车的长官
tickets your ass.
给你这个傻屌♥开了罚单
And that's a big ticket.
而且还是个巨额罚单
Is that a threat, Meter Maid? Huh?
我是被你吓大的嘛 女长官 啊
Maybe it is, Shampoo Girl.
也许是吧 发廊妹
How'd you like one right on the mouth?
你光用嘴说 怎么不来试试
You just try it.
那就来一个吧
I'm making veggie lasagna for dinner.
我晚餐准备做千层素面
Don't be late.
别来晚了
I won't be. I rented "Magic Mike."
不会的 我租了神奇的麦克
That's right.
这就对了
Matthew McConaughey in chaps.
穿皮裤的马修麦康纳
All right, all right, all right!
好吧 好吧 解决了
Can I ask you a question?
我能问你个问题吗
They're a couple for 42 years.
他们已经搞了42年了
We call them "Broke Hip Mountain." No...
我们叫他们 断背山 我想问的不是这个
Is that A.J. Salerno over there? Yeah.
阿吉是这的吗 对
Oh. My dad said he was the best pitcher he'd ever seen.
哇 我爸说阿吉是他见过的最好的投手
He said, "Don't even try and play as good as A.J.,
他说 想都别想玩的像阿吉一样好
'cause you throw like a girl."
因为你扔球像个娘们一样
Your dad sounds like a wonderful man.
你♥爸♥爸听起来像个好男人
Hey, Joy. Hi.
嘿 乔伊 嗨
Hey, Mo. So, what'd you do last night?
嘿 莫 你昨晚干啥了
Uh, not much.
呃 没干啥
Uh, played with my Xbox a little bit,
呃 玩了一会儿我的游戏机
uh, baked some cookies,
呃 烤了点饼干
brought some in for you... veryone.
给你 和大家都带了点
How 'bout you, huh? What'd you do last night?
你呢 你昨晚干啥了
Oh, well, Bart and I started talking about having kids.
哦 好吧 我和巴特开始商量着要孩子
Kids? Yeah, well, we're Catholic, you know,
孩子 嗯 对 你知道 我们都是天主教♥徒♥
and Bart wants to start a big family.
而且巴特想要个有大家庭
He certainly tried all night. Ah.
他就努力了一晚上 呃
In a lot of different ways...
用了好多种姿势
and one way that never would have gotten me pregnant.
没有一种能让我怀孕的
So, A.J., how come you and Danni
呃 阿吉 你和丹妮进展如何
don't go out with each other?
一块出去吗
Well, we actually sort of did... once.
呃 我们其实 大概出去过 一次
We slept together on prom night.
我们在毕业舞会的时候一起睡了
Ooh. Oh, romantic!
喔 喔 浪漫
Yeah.
是啊
His prom date didn't think so.
他的舞伴可不那么想
Boom! That's right.
砰 那就对了
It was obviously, like, a one-time thing,
很明显 就像一次性物品
so I played it cool.
所以我可以很痛快地搞定它
Oh, yeah. Well, that is easy for you,
哦 是啊 好吧 那对你来说很简单
cause you're cool.
因为你有颜任性嘛
He was so freaked out,
他被吓坏了
he didn't speak to me until after graduation.
到毕业之前他一句话都没和我说过
Oh, you know what guys are like.
哦 你知道男人都喜欢那样的
Yeah. Yeah.
是啊 没错
I do because evidently I look like one,
我那样做因为明显我看起来就像那样的人
right, Rhonda?
是不是 朗达
Buzzy owned the place,
巴兹是这的老板
and then he sold it to another guy
然后他卖♥♥给了另一个人
we went to high school with...
和我们一起上高中和
Ben. Wow, the... the guy that owns this place
本 哇 那个拥有这个地方的人
is your age?
和你一样大
It's not Google, it's a barbershop.
这不是谷歌♥ 这只是一个理发店
Good morning, ladies and genitals.
早上好 女士们还有男人的那玩意们
All right, so, uh, just had a bad convo
好吧 所以 呃 刚才发生了一段不太好的谈话
with my accountant, Donny.
和我的会计 多尼
You remember him, right, from shop class?
你记得他是吗 是的 在手工课上
Had that "Zzt" Accident with the bandsaw.
用电锯制♥造♥出了"水晶头"事件
Now's got toes for thumbs.
现在喜欢动手动脚的
I never know if I'm supposed to shake
我不知道我是应该胖揍他一顿
or tickle his hand-foot, so I do both,
还是挠他的痒 所以我都干了
and then he just thinks I'm a perv.
然后他就认为我是个变♥态♥
Great story as usual, Mo, great story.
故事还是一如既往的精彩 莫 好故事
All right, anyway, here's the 911.
好吧 不管怎么样 这是911(紧急事件)