理发店的笑声（2015）

This is what Buzzy really wants.
这是Buzzy真正想要的
I know him better than any of you.
我比你们都了解他
Oh, really?
是吗
Why do you think Buzzy and I have always been so close?
你知道为啥我和Buzzy一直那么亲密吗
Because you both say mean things
因为你俩都爱口出恶言
And I hope you're joking but I never really know?
我希望你是在说笑 但是我永远都不知道
Because we're family. We get each other.
因为我们是一家人 我们理解彼此
We're both outsiders. Gay is the new black.
我们都是边缘人 同性恋就是新的黑人哪
Now trans is the new gay,
现在变性人又是新的同性恋
And pretty soon, ugly's gonna be the new trans,
估计很快 丑鬼们就是新的变性人了
But that's down the road a piece.
不过这倒是一脉相承
Sorry to disturb you ladies, but there's been a complaint.
不好意思打扰各位女士了 但是有人投诉
Joy, the stripper's here!
Joy 脱衣舞男来了
Don't --
别
I'm not a stripper. I'm a real cop.
我不是脱衣舞男 我是真的警♥察♥
Uh, you're a stripper, those are tear-away pants,
呃 你就是个脱衣舞男 你那是易撕裤子
And that nightstick is a bluetooth speaker.
你的警棍是蓝牙音箱吧
Can't you just play along?
你们就不能配合点吗
I've got a whole thing I do before I tear the pants away.
在我撕开裤子之前我有一套程序的
Look, the bachelor party got canceled.
听着 单身派对取消了
Great. I waxed for nothing.
真棒 我白白除毛了
Do you ladies want me to --
你们需要我
Oh, no, no, no, no. No, we're good.
不 不 不 不 我们不用
How much for one dance?
一支舞多少钱
Oh, I've already been paid for the hour.
我已经收过报酬了
I got a credit-card number from...Ben Grossman?
我有一个署名是Ben Grossman的信♥用♥卡♥
Danni, give me some $1s from the register.
Dannni 从收银机里给我拿点一元钞票
Well, I better go home
我最好还是回家
And have this conversation with Tommy.
跟Tommy好好谈谈吧
Oh, no, no. You can't leave.
别 别 你不能走啊
Why not?
为啥
Because...
因为
I am having a personal crisis
我有个只有你能解决的
that only you can help me with.
个人危机
About what?
什么危机
How do you know...
怎么判断
...if -- if...
自己是不是
If you're gay?
同性恋
Well, can you name every winner of "American idol"?
你能说出每季"美国偶像"的冠军吗
No.
不能
Do you enjoy bloomingdale's at christmas?
你喜欢圣诞节时候的布鲁明戴尔百货店吗
No.
不喜欢
How do you feel about a penis hitting you in the face?
假设你的脸被"小♥弟♥弟♥"抽打是什么感觉
Yeah, I-I do not like that.
呃 我不喜欢那样
Okay. You're not gay.
好吧 你不是同性恋
No, no, but, Buzz, I'm -- I'm having thoughts --
不 不 但是 Buzz 我对于男人间的
thoughts and feelings about dudes doing sex stuff to each other,
性行为有些想法和感觉
And I need you to talk me through it.
我需要你给我讲讲清楚
What's it supposed to feel like to know that you're gay?
同性恋到底应该是什么感觉
It feels like you're attracted sexually to other men.
就是在性方面会被其他男人所吸引啊
I don't understand what that means, Buzz.
我不知道那是啥意思 Buzz
I-I-I don't know.
我不知道
Is there a way that you could maybe explain that to me
你能不能换个不同方式给我解释解释
differently that...takes longer?
更详细一点的方式
Sure.
好吧
Have a seat.
坐下
You know, when I came out, a friend of mine
当我出柜的时候 我的一个朋友
shared something with me that was very powerful.
跟我分享了一些非常有用的东西
I'd like to share that with you now.
我现在可以跟你分享一下
Oh, that's great. What is it?
太好了 是什么
Porn.
毛♥片♥
I don't think that that's necessa--
我觉得没有必要吧
No, it's the only way to be sure.
错 这是唯一的确定方法
You're gonna like this first one.
你肯定会喜欢这第一个的
It's about sports.
是有关体育的
Now, the coach here is very disappointed in Antoine's practice habits.
这个教练对Antoine的训练习惯很不满意
Sure.
好吧
Hey, guys, what are you --
嘿 伙计们 你们干啥呢
Okay, then. See you later.
好吧 还是回见吧
Ahh! Ah-ha-ha!
啊 哈哈哈
Okay, fine. All right? Whatever.
好吧 好吧 无所谓啦
You and Buzzy are B.F.F.S.
你和Buzzy是死党
But that's no reason to ruin
但是你也没必要毁了对他
what could've been a beautiful experience for him.
可能是很美好的一次经验啊
Hey, I feel like little girls like you
嘿 我可觉得你这种小女生
Grew up with a different view of marriage
和我这种小女生
Than little girls like me!
成长♥期♥间对婚姻的看法有很大不同
I love weddings.
我喜欢婚礼
Hey! Kyle! Less yapping, more booty-clapping.
嘿 Kyle 少叽叽喳喳 多拍拍屁♥股♥
Oh. I wish I could make it clap.
我倒希望我能拍响它
Actually, Tragic Mike, I could use a break.
行了 可怜的麦克 我得休息一下
Ride that little pony for a while.
去找那只小马驹骑会儿吧
Charmaine, I don't thi--
Charmaine 我可不想
Ohh. Okay. Here he comes.
哇 好吧 你看他来了
W-what do you mean little girls like me?
什么叫我这种小女生
We went to the same high school together.
我俩上的是同一所高中啊
We took driver's ed together.
我俩一块儿上的驾驶课
You lived a block away from me.
我俩家就差了一个街区
Oh! You know what, officer? Could you please stop?
呃 警官 能麻烦你暂停一会儿么
It just touched my head.
那玩意碰到我头了
Thanks. My knee is killing me.
谢谢 我的膝盖要疼死了
I also teach at Spin For Your Life
我每周二和周四
On Tuesdays and Thursdays.
还得去"为生命旋转"那教课
What?
怎么
Go on. I'm not even here.
你们继续 就当我不在
Danni, I'm talking about
Danni 我说的是
My life before I got adopted and moved here.
我被收养和搬过来之前的事儿
My biological father only married my mom
我的生父之所以娶了我妈
Because she got pregnant with me.
只是因为她怀了我
That's exactly like my friend Marco.
这简直像极了我朋友Marco
And anyway, he only did it 'cause he was supposed to
别理他 我爸这么做只是出于责任
So it didn't last. And when he took off, she fell apart.
并不长久 他一走我妈就崩溃了
I never saw her again after that.
之后我再也没见过她
Charmaine, I didn't know that. That's horrible.
Charmaine 我不知道这事 这太糟了
Right?
是吧
Girls need moms.
女孩儿们需要妈妈的
Dude, we are not experiencing this together.
哥们 我们没在跟你讨论这事儿
Fine.
好吧
Rude!
真没礼貌
Within a year, I was in the foster-care system,
不到一年我就被送去寄养系统了
And I stayed there for 10 years.
在那儿一呆就是十年
So you want to know why I have a problem
你要想知道我为什么
With people getting married for the wrong reasons?
对不是真心想结婚的人有意见
That's why.
这就是答案
Look, I totally get that,
听着 我完全理解你
And I'm so sorry it happened to you.
我也很遗憾这事情发生在你的身上
But nothing you said is about Buzzy, is it?
但你说的这些并不关乎Buzzy 对吗
Um... the bathroom's locked.
呃 厕所是锁着的
Is there, like, a spoon with a key on it?
有没有把上带着钥匙的勺子
'cause when my sweat dries, I get super-cold.
我的汗要是干了 我会觉得超冷的
Now, see how these two guys are playing naked leapfrog?
看见这俩人裸着玩跳背游戏了吗
Yeah. And thank you for pausing it.
看见了 谢谢你还暂停了
Buzzy, can we talk?
Buzzy 能聊聊么
Oh. Yes, please.
当然 拜托你了
I'm gonna go try and find a boob to look at.
我得赶紧找个奶♥子♥瞅瞅了
Sure. What's up?
当然可以 怎么了
Buzzy, do you love this meter maid?
Buzzy 你爱你的小警♥察♥女朋友吗
Yes! For a very long time.
爱啊 爱了很久
Are you gonna stay with him until one of you is dead?
你会一直这样 直到你俩中的一人死去吗
Not a moment longer
是的 绝不多爱一秒