理发店的笑声（2015）

Don't you mean 411?
你的意思是411(中国的1♥1♥4♥)吗
Uh, no, A.J.
哦 不 阿吉
If I meant 411, I woulda said 411.
如果我的意思是411 我会直接说
Well, is it an emergency?
好吧 这事很急吗
No. I'm just giving you information.
不 我只是在告诉你一点消息
You want to chew on that for a second?
你到底能不能说了
You know, why don't you
你知道 你为什么不
just cut hair and let me do the talking, huh?
好好剪你的头发让我来说话呢
All right.
好吧
Anyway...
不管怎样
So, the turds down at Blue Cross
所以说 在医疗服务救济协会的政策下
are jacking up the rates of your health benefits.
会提高你们医疗福利的比例
Thank you, Obama-Stan.
谢谢你 奥巴马-斯坦
And Donny, friggin' "Elnh-enh-elnh" Donny,
然后多尼 只会"呃-呃-呃"的多尼
says the only way that I can keep my costs down
说只有一个办法可以让我降低成本
is if I lose an employee. Wait, are you gonna fire one of us?
那就是我得失去一名员工 等等 你要炒了我们中的一个
Joy, fire one of you? I could never do that.
乔伊 炒你们中的一个 我永远做不出这种事
So you're gonna pay the increase? No, Danni, now, listen,
所以你要涨我们的工资 不 丹尼 现在 仔细听
I said I could never do that.
我说过我永远不会做那种事
Someone's definitely got to go.
有人得自己离开
Yeah, that's for sure. That's for sure.
是的 这是必然的 必然的
Um, I'm just gonna let you guys pick him.
呃 我会让你们选出那个他
O... you know what? Or her.
呃 你知道的 也可能是她
All right, whatever.
好吧 怎么样都好啦
Guess it really was a 911, huh?
这可真是紧急事件 不是吗
That's too soon.
事情太突然了
Do you guys think the real reason
你们认为
Ben's taking a hard line with us is be...
本要对我们采取强硬措施的真正原因是
No!
不
Maybe I'm wrong. You are.
可能我错了 你错了
W... what were you gonna say?
你想说什么
That he's broke. That he has a small penis.
他是不完整的人 他下面很小
Okay, I believe he's doing this
好吧 我相信他之所以这么做
because he thinks it's what's fair.
是因为他认为这样公平
Really? You think it's fair
真的吗 你认为这样公平吗
that he's making us fire Charmaine?
他让我们炒了夏尔曼
Me? Why me?
我 为什么是我
What? "Broke Hip Mountain"?
为什么 "断背山"
"Two and a Half Ton Men"?
"两吨♥半的男人"
You think I can't hear you?
你以为我听不见你说的话吗
I... I'm gay, not deaf.
我 我是基佬 又不是聋子
You called me Dr. Dre-idel.
你叫我幻想达人
Oh, come on... you're black, you're Jewish...
哦 醒醒吧 你是黑人 你是犹太人
it's just sitting there.
好好坐着就行了
Well, if anybody should go, it should be Danni.
好吧 如果非得有人走的话 一定是丹妮
She's pretty. Pretty girls can always get paid.
她太漂亮了 漂亮的女孩在哪都能拿钱
I can't go anywhere.
我哪都去不了
Every penny I make goes to food, rent,
我挣得每一分钱都花在了食物 租♥房♥♥
household essentials, my dad's medical bills.
家具 我爸爸的医疗费上了
Guys, I have to vent a little bit, here.
我得 我得小小的发泄一下了 就在这
Sometimes, Ben is...
有时候 本
Not that thoughtful.
考虑的不是很周到
I said it.
我发泄完了
You'd feel a lot better if you just said "Asshole."
你可能直接骂他 傻X 感觉更好点
What are you smiling about?
你在笑什么
Nothing. It's just weird that this is coming up,
没什么 就是很奇怪突然发生了这样的事
cause, uh, the thing, the phone call
因为 呃 这个 这个电♥话♥
that I wanted to tell you about earlier,
我想早点告诉你的
takes care of this problem.
有关这个问题
What is it? I don't really want to say
到底是什么 我真不想说
in front of everyone... think I might jinx it, so...
在所有人面前 就当我倒霉吧 所以
I can't! I'm sorry.
我不能说 对不起
Then don't. Look, maybe what we do is...
那就别说了 看 说不定我们我们现在干的是
God! It really would, though.
天呐 但它真的
It would really take care of this problem,
它真和这个问题有关系
if it happened, and I don't know if it will.
如果它发生了 我不知道它会不会发生
Dude, either tell us or don't.
小伙子 你到底要不要告诉我们
Enough with the tease.
玩笑开够了没
God, where was this foreplay at prom?
天呐 舞会的前戏在哪
You know what? You're totally right.
你们知道吗 你们说的都没错
I'll stop. Sorry. Thank you.
对不起 我闭嘴 感谢你的配合
Okay, so, we stick together...
说到这里 我们可以团结起来
You guys, I'm gonna play professional baseball!
大伙儿 我要成为职业棒球运动员啦
What? Yeah, yeah!
什么 是的 没错
Benny Bloemhof called me this morning.
班尼·布鲁姆霍夫今天早上给我打电♥话♥了
He wants to meet with me. Who's that?
他想和我见面谈谈 他是谁
Benny Bloemhof is the biggest sports agent in New England.
班尼·布鲁霍夫是新英格兰地区最棒的体育经纪人
If he signs me, I'll be pitching in triple-A, at least.
如果他和我签约了 我能在三A级以上级别的球队打球
And that takes care of our problem.
这也正好解决了我们的问题
A.J., that's awesome.
阿吉 太棒了
I get your chair.
那你的椅子归我了
Not gonna happen, Whoopi.
门都没有 乌碧
What's so good about A.J.'s chair?
阿吉的椅子有什么好的
Oh, it's the view.
哦 是因为坐在我的椅子上可以看见一道美丽风景
At sunset, you get, like, a sliver of light
在日落时分 你可以瞥见一束明亮的光
right between the adult bookstore
穿过街对面的成人书店
and the needle exchange across the street.
和针具交换门诊点之间
Ah, right by where that tweaker's yelling at that pervert.
啊 也可以说就在吸毒者和性变♥态♥者频繁出没的地方
Gosh.
天啊
Sometimes, after we close,
有时 在我们打烊以后
I like to just sit there and watch the light change.
我就喜欢坐在那里 看着灯红酒绿
It's a nice place to be.
这真是一个好位置
Not gonna cry.
别哭
Not gonna cry.
不准哭
All right, anyway, we'll see what happens.
不管怎么说 我们终会达成一致的
I got a meeting at his office after work.
下班之后 我要去他的办公室开会
You got a meeting at whose office after work?
你要去谁的办公室开会
Benny freaking Bloemhof... maybe you've heard of him.
伟大的班尼·布鲁霍夫 也许你听说过他的大名
He's only the biggest sports agent
他是整个新英格兰地区
in all of New England.
唯一一个杰出的体育经纪人
Yeah, Mo. I know who he is. Thanks.
好了 莫 我早知道他是谁了 真是谢谢你了
Why's he meeting with you?
他为什么和你见面
Uh, he's a sports agent. I'm a baseball player.
额 他是一名体育经纪人 我是棒球运动员
Uh, your little brother's a baseball player.
哦 你的弟弟也是一名棒球运动员
You were a baseball player.
你曾经是一名棒球运动员
All right, I'm actually probably better now
好吧 但我确实在肩膀弄伤之后
than I was before I blew out my shoulder.
变得更加出色了
I'm gonna pitch in the major leagues.
我将会在职业棒球协会当投手
Mm, no, you're not.
让我想想 不 这压根不可能
You know why you're not?
你知道你为什么不可能吗
Because you're a barber, just like your father.
因为你是一个理发师 就像你父亲一样
Not only am I gonna play in the major leagues,
我不仅要加入职业棒球协会
but I'm gonna be so good,
还要取得出色的成绩
you're gonna have to put my picture up in your office,
你总有一天会把我的照片高高地挂在办公室的墙壁上
and it's gonna look down on you
每当你走进办公室并关上门之后
every time you go in there and you close the door
照片中的我会深深的鄙视你
and you bring down the little shade and do god knows what.
你会在阴影下遭受你应得的惩罚
You don't want your picture in there with that.
你不可能想要把你的照片放在那里的
That's disgusting.
听起来真恶心
I don't want that.
我也不想这样子
All right. Well, you know what?
好吧 既然如此 你必须知道
The mouth says one thing, A.J.,
阿吉 嘴上说起来容易
but the apron and the scissors say something very different.
但做起来就不一定能实现了
All right. Shop reopens in 10 minutes.
就说到这里 还有十分钟理发店就要开始营业了
I need to know who's leaving by the end of the day.
你们要在今天之前明确告诉我谁将会离开
See, that is an asshole.
看看他 这才是真正的混♥蛋♥
Hey, Mo, you know what I'm in the mood for?
嘿 你知道我现在想去干什么吗
Popcorn shrimp. We should go to Legal Seafood.
爆米蹦虾 我们可以去海鲜店
Legal Seafood?
去海鲜店
You can't even afford the insurance increase.
你连增长的保险费用都承担不起