理发店的笑声（2015）

继续啊
Father Sean Flynn. He was my priest growing up.
Sean Flynn神父 伴我长大的神父
That's why I left the church.
也是我不再去教堂的原因
Buzzy...
Buzzy
He sodomized you, didn't he?
他鸡♥奸♥了你 是不是
No. No, no, no. No.
不 不 不 不 不
He didn't sodomize me. He was a great and wise man.
他没有鸡♥奸♥我 他是个伟大又睿智的人
He made me feel special at a time when no one else did.
从没有人像他那样 让我觉得自己很特别
And then He sodomized you!
然后 他就鸡♥奸♥了你
Oh! No, no, no.
啊 不是不是
He never did that. That's not what this story is.
他从来没做过 故事不是这样的
He was the center of my family's life,
他是我们家庭生活的中心
And then he got sick -- very sick.
之后他病了 病得非常厉害
So we prayed for a miracle, because Sean Flynn taught us
所以我们祈求奇迹 因为他教过我们
That if you prayed hard enough, miracles do happen.
如果祈祷的足够虔诚 奇迹就会发生
But guess what? They don't.
但结果呢 什么都没有
And I never even got a chance to say goodbye to him.
我连跟他告别的机会都没有
Oh, Buzzy, miracles do happen.
Buzzy 奇迹是会发生的
They happen all the time. You just have to look for them.
它们一直发生着 你只是需要去发现
Yeah, that's what my next priest said,
是 我下一位神父是这么说的
And I wanted to believe him, but then --
我也想要相信他 但后来
He sodomized you?!
他鸡♥奸♥了你吗
Geez! No.
天啊 不
No, no, no!
没没没
I-I-I started dating someone.
我 我开始约会了
I lost interest in the church.
然后对于教堂就没兴趣了
What is the matter with you?
你脑子里都想些什么鬼啊
What the hell kind of foolishness
你昨天对A.J
Did you say to A.J. Yesterday?
说了什么傻不拉唧的屁话
Why? What happened? He tried to kiss me.
干嘛 怎么了 他想亲我来着
I knew it.
我就知道
Do you know how weird it was to have that skinny, goofy,
你知道那个宛若Tom Hanks的干瘦傻货
Tom-hanks-looking fool coming at me?
冲我过来的时候感觉多奇葩么
That forrest gump tried to get in my box of chocolates!
阿甘想吃我这盒巧克力
I knew he was into you. He's not into me.
我就知道他喜欢你 他才没有
He told me you put the idea in his head.
他跟我说是你加给他这个想法的
Now I'm in the middle of your little drama with him.
现在我也被卷入你和他的小戏码里了
What drama? Look, can we please get off the local
什么戏码 我们能不能下了慢车
And take the express to cut-the-shit ville?
坐上快车赶紧去"少说屁话"村儿
You're worried A.J. has a thing for me
你担心A.J对我有感觉
Because you still have unresolved weirdness with him.
因为你对他还有些理不清的怪想法
Okay, you are so off base with this.
你这想法简直太离谱了
I mean, seriously,
说真的
It is so wrong, it's entertaining,
大错特错 简直搞笑
So, I mean, go on.
所以 你接着说
You haven't dealt with your stuff,
你没有处理好你自己的心情
And it's made things weird between you two.
这让你们的关系变得怪怪的
Now you're probably gonna tell me
现在你大概会告诉我
What you would do if you were in my position,
要是你在我的境地 你会怎么做
Which I'm definitely not in.
可这压根不是我的处境
I wasn't gonna do that. Seriously, do it.
我可没准备说 说真的 你快说
What would you do if you were in my position?
你要是在这种境地 你会做什么
There's two possibilities. If you don't have feelings for him
有两种可能性 如果你对他没感觉
And it's just sexual tension, release it.
仅仅只是性♥欲♥的话 就放开干
A little futon funk would be the best thing you could do.
滚滚床单就再好不过了
And the other one?
那另一种呢
If you still have feelings for him,
如果你对他还有感觉
Don't jump into bed with him.
就别着急跟他上♥床♥
That would be the worst thing you could do.
没有比这更蠢的行为了
If you were anywhere in the ballpark
如果你说的关于我处境的话
Of what I was actually going through --
还算靠谱
I'd really have to figure out how I felt about him
我得好好想想对他是什么感觉
and which direction I'd take it in.
还有怎么处理这件事
Yes, you would.
对 如果靠谱
Figure it out.
想明白点
Hi.
嗨
Hi. Mmhmm.
嗨 嗯哼
Oh, I'm not comfortable!
哦 真让人不舒服
What's wrong, Lonnie?
你怎么了 Lonnie
That was just hard to watch.
我实在看不下去了
What was?
什么事
Ben and Rita seeing each other like that.
Ben和Rita互看对方的样子
What's weird about Ben and Rita seeing each other?
Ben和Rita互看有什么奇怪的吗
They had intercourse two nights ago.
他俩两天前滚床单了
What?!
啥
Oh, that is excellent.
哦 屌♥爆了
You said you weren't gonna say anything!
你说过不会告诉别人的
Mo!
Mo
I couldn't think of anything else to talk about!
我想不到别的话题了
Great! Now my sisters know.
好得很 现在我的姐♥妹♥们♥都知道了
Oh, yeah, right, like you didn't tell your sisters.
哦 对 就跟你没跟你姐妹讲似的
Of course I didn't tell my sisters.
我当然没跟她们讲
You think I want my family to know I had a go-below?
你觉得我会想自己的家人得知我上错人了吗
What?
啥
You must have been really horny the other night
那天晚上你肯定是饥渴难耐了
to take a bite out of that kosher pickle.
不然怎么会咬这根犹太小黄瓜
Yeah. Horny's one thing, But that?! That's sick!
没错 饥渴也就算了 不过找他 你疯了吧
I don't ever want this to end.
这场面怎么都看不够啊
Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Okay.
好 等一下 等一下 好吧
If anyone here had a go-below, it was me, all right?
如果说有人上错人了 那也是我 好吗
I mean, come on. Come on.
我说 拜托 拜托
Look at her and look at me, huh?
看看她 再看看我 是吧
I am looking at you.
我看着你呢
It's like looking at a very hairy 6-year-old.
就像看着一个长毛的6岁小孩似的
Oh. Oh!
哦 哦
Okay. Okay.
好吧 好吧
Well, guess what, Rita?
你猜怎么着 Rita
You talk like a cartoon dinosaur!
你说话跟个卡♥通♥恐龙似的
No, I do not!
呸 我才没有
Yeah. And for your information,
哦 再告诉你一声
on planet Earth, I'm the bigger catch, right?
在这个星球上 我才是抢手货 懂吧
I'm cute-to-handsome. I own my own business.
可爱又英俊 还有自己的事业
You know what? You want to know the truth?
想知道真♥相♥吗
I can tell you the truth!
让我来告诉你真♥相♥吧
Oh, yeah? Yeah!
哦 是吗 没错
I faked my orgasm! I faked my orgasm!
我是假装高♥潮♥的 我是假装高♥潮♥的
Well, that took a turn, didn't it?
哎哟 形势真是大改啊
Okay, boys, say goodbye and thank you to Buzzy.
孩子们 跟Buzzy道个谢说再见
You know, I never caught your names.
你看 我刚才没听清你们的名字
I'm Sean. I'm Flynn.
我叫Sean 我叫Flynn
Wow. I used to know a --
我以前认识一个
Oh, never mind.
哦 算了
Boys, what do you want to say to Buzzy?
孩子们 你们想对Buzzy说些什么
Thank you, Buzzy. And goodbye.
谢谢你 Buzzy 再见
Yeah.
好
Yeah, uh...
好 呃
Goodbye, Sean, Flynn.
再见 Sean Flynn
Oh, no, no, no.
哦 不不不
That -- that could have been a coincidence.
这 这只是个巧合而已
Or was it a miracle
或者 是个奇迹
Because I prayed for you to have closure with father Sean Flynn?
因为我为你祈祷 希望你和Sean Flynn神父做个了结
Are those really my only two options?
你非得派俩孩子吗
Who is it?!
谁啊
It's Danni?
我是 Danni
Hey. What are you doing here?
嘿 你来干嘛呢
Hi. I needed to see you.
嗨 我需要见你一面
It's 1:00 in the morning.
现在是凌晨一点
I know, I know, I know. I know, it's just, um...
我知道 我知道 我知道 只是 呃
Okay.
好吧
Um...
呃
I-I-I feel like there's this -- this weird tension between us,