理发店的笑声（2015）

What the hell is this?
这是什么玩意
An angry black woman.
一个非常生气的黑人妇女
I was talking to your meter maid husband.
我是在跟你的交♥警♥老婆说话
You were parked illegally. You broke the law.
是你违章停车 你犯了法
Okay.
好吧
Am I finished?
你帮我剪完了吗
Oh, you're about to be.
噢 你就要完了
You knew that was my scooter.
你知道那是我的摩托车
Friends don't give friends tickets.
是朋友就不会给我开罚单的
And friends don't ask friends to not do their job.
是朋友就不会要求我不要履行职责
Joy, back me up.
Joy 支持我一下
Tell tommy he's wrong.
告诉Tommy他是错的
Uh, no. I'd rather not get involved.
不 我最好还是不要参和
It feels racially charged.
不然感觉会牵扯到种族问题
Tommy, just rip the ticket up.
Tommy 就把票撕了吧
We'll pretend this never happened.
我们假装什么事都没发生
Too late. It's in the system.
太迟了 已经登记进系统了
Once you write a ticket, it cannot be undone.
一旦你写好罚单 就不能改变
Here you go, charmaine.
给你 Charmaine
What is that? It's $40 for the ticket.
什么东西 是罚单的40块
I am not getting in the middle of a fight
我不会让我的工作老婆
Between my work wife and my home wife.
和家里的老婆 卷入一场争斗
Buzzy, that's like me paying for charmaine's ticket.
Buzzy 这样就像我在付Charmaine的罚单一样
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
是啊 不然你准备怎么样呢
Give me the damn thing.
给我那破玩意
Give him back the money.
把钱还给他
I thought you said once something was in the system,
我以为你说一旦进入系统
It cannot be undone.
就不能改变了
Oh, that's that meter maid bullshit.
这只是交♥警♥胡扯的
Hey,there.
嘿
What are you doing?
你在干什么呢
Playing "Candy crush."
玩"糖果大爆险"
Oh, that's a good use of your time.
你可真会利用你的时间
Someone's got to crush the candy.
总得有人来爆了这些糖
What you got there?
袋子里装着什么
Oh, pomegranate -- the thinking man's apple.
石榴 思想者的苹果
You ever had one? We've shared one before.
你没吃过 我们以前吃过一个
We have? Yeah, it was 10th grade,
是吗 对 是10年级的时候
And we were taking the bus.
在公交车上
You asked me if I wanted some, and I asked you what it was.
你问我想不想吃 我问你这是什么东西
And you said, "It's a pomegranate,
你说 "是石榴
The thinking man's apple."
思想者的苹果"
I really said the thing about pomegranate before?
我以前真的说过石榴的事
Yep.
没错
Um...You were on your way to practice,
呃 你在去训练的路上
And I was on my way to choir.
我在去合唱团的路上
Oh, you were trying to grow a mustache,
你那时候在尝试留胡子
And I was working a side pony. Oh, yeah.
我在演一个小马配角 是啊
That was a really bad week for both of us.
那周我们俩过得都挺差
So, um, what are you doing tonight?
那么 你今晚要去干什么
Oh, uh...I have plans.
噢 呃 我有安排了
I made plans.
我安排好了
I have a plan that I planned out.
我安排好去安排了
You don't happen to have any plans, do you?
你不会碰巧有安排吧
Hey, there.
喂
Suggest.
那你建议
Too early.
太早了
Oh, too late.
噢 太迟了
the 8:50?
八点五十
Sounds good.
不错
Me, too. Okay, bye-bye.
我也是 好 拜拜
Wrong number.
打错了
Oh, really? Yeah, it wasn't that girl lucy,
是么 难道不是你今晚要约的
Who you're going out with tonight?
那个叫Lucy的女孩吗
Because that's what your caller I.D. Said, peter pomegranate.
因为你的来电显示出♥卖♥♥♥了你 Peter石榴号♥
Okay, you're all set.
好的 完成了
Um, you haven't cut my hair yet.
你还没开始剪呢
Oh, right. Sorry, I'll start right now.
哦 对 抱歉 我现在就开始
Okay, you're all set.
好的 完成了
Mo, what the hell are you doing? Huh?
Mo 你到底在干什么
I've been watching you over here.
我一直在观察你
You're in some sort of loop.
你好像陷在什么循环里
I'm so sorry about that, sir.
先生 我很抱歉
Buzz, can you help this nice customer out, please?
Buzz 你能送我们这位顾客出去吗
sure.
没问题
That better not be what I think it is.
你手里拿的最好别是我想的那样
If you don't think it's weed, then it isn't.
如果你觉得这不是大♥麻♥ 那就不是
Hey, hey, what's going on with you?
嘿 嘿 你怎么了
Ben, you're not gonna believe this.
Ben 你不会相信我的
What?
什么
My folks are getting a divorce.
我的父母要离婚了
What? No!
什么 不
Not Dottie and Jasper -- they were like parents to me.
别是Dottie和Jasper啊 他俩就像我的亲生父母一样
They were like parents to me, too.
他俩也像我的亲生父母
You remember when they used to bathe us together?
你还记得他们把我俩放在一起洗澡吗
Not so loud, not so loud.
声音小点 声音小点
So, what happened? I don't know.
发生什么事了 我不知道
When ma told me on the phone, I got so upset, I fainted.
当妈在电♥话♥上告诉我的时候 我太过焦虑 晕倒了
Wait, you fainted?
等等 你晕倒了
I-I was really upset.
我太焦虑了
Still, who faints?
那也不至于晕倒啊
Ben, I don't know who I am anymore.
Ben 我都不知道我是谁了
I thought I was the son of Dottie and Jasper Mccracken,
我以为我是Dottie和Jasper McCracken
The perfect couple.
这对完美夫妇的儿子
I mean, sure, they fought, but they always made up.
我的意思是 没错 他俩吵过 但他们总能和好
But now, they...
但是现在 他们
They...
他们
No, mo! No, no!
不 不 不 不
Don't you dare faint, all right?
你可不能晕
You're a man, god damn it. You hear me? Yes. Sorry.
你是男子汉好吗 听到我说话了吗 听到了 抱歉
Come here, sit down. Okay.
快过来 坐下 好的
Sit down.
坐下
Take a breather, all right? Yeah, you're right.
深呼吸 好吗 好的 你说得对
I just got to sit down for a second and collect my...
我需要坐下来一会 集中
My best friend, ladies and gentlemen.
女士们先生们 这就是我最好的朋友
You know, just so we're clear,
咱们澄清一下
You don't have to lie to this guy.
你不必对我说谎
If you're dating someone, we're cool. Oh, we are?
我对你约会这事儿完全没意见 真的吗
Dude, if you want to go out with this lucy tonight,
兄弟 如果你今晚上想和这个叫Lucy的约会
I'm fine with it.
我没有意见
Okay, if you're fine with it,
如果你没有意见
Why do you have to tell me you're find with it, dude?
那干嘛还要告诉我你没意见 兄弟
Because those are the words that you use
因为当你要传达你对某事没意见时
To convey that you're fine with something.
都是这么说的
Why? Do you not want to go out with lucy?
干嘛 你不想跟Lucy约会吗
Do you not want me to go out with lucy?
你不想让我跟Lucy约会吗
Of course I want you to go.
当然不是
Why "Of course"?
干嘛还加个"当然"
I don't know, A.J.
我不知道 AJ
Because if you two ever become a thing,
因为如果你俩发展得好
You get to say "I love lucy!" How fun is that?!
你就要说出"我爱Lucy"了 听起来多搞笑
I feel so bad for that mo.
真是为Mo感到难过
Tommy's got a thick skin.
Tommy脸皮很厚的
I'm sure he's not mad at you anymore.
我保证他已经不生你的气了
Not homo, mo mo.
我念的是Mo 不是homo(指同性恋)
Our mo. You know, about his parents getting divorced.
我们的Mo 他的父母要离婚了
Oh, I didn't hear that. Is that happening?
我都没听说 要离了吗
Yeah, his mother just decided to suddenly end the marriage.
没错 他的妈妈突然决定要结束婚姻
Poor mo has no idea why.
可怜的Mo都不知道为什么
I'm here to see mo mccracken.
找一下Mo McCracken