理发店的笑声（2015）

Hey, Mo, are you gonna eat your pickle? Not if you w
Mo 你要吃你的腌黄瓜吗 要是你想吃的话
Here. You can take mine.
来 你吃我的吧
What did I do?
我怎么你了
Buzz, you just pickle blocked me.
Buzz 你拿腌黄瓜挡我路了
My bad.
我的错
Joy, I think you'll be happier eating Mo's pickle.
Joy 你吃Mo的腌黄瓜应该会更开心
It's, uh -- it's younger than mine.
他的 比我的嫩
Oh, my god, you guys. Did you see this?
我的天啊 你们看见了吗
I did. There it is
看见了 这就是了
Charlestown south high school reunion.
查尔斯镇南部中学同学聚会
All I got was a video of my dad
我只收到了我爸
doing the ice-bucket challenge.
冰桶挑战的视频
Too little too late, dad.
太少了也太晚了啊老爸
Oh, there's the reunion invite.
啊 看到同学会邀请了
Frickin' reunion.
该死的同学会
It's like a friendly reminder
它就像个友情提示
that your childhood sucked.
告诉你你的童年逊死了
All right, all done.
好了 都搞定了
Mo, can you beer me?
Mo 给我来瓶啤酒
Danni, look.
Danni 快看
It's a picture of you and C.J. Price at prom.
你和C.J.Price在毕业舞会的照片
Oh, poor C.J.
可怜的C.J.
I was not very nice to him that night. No, you were not.
我那晚对他态度可不怎么友好 确实不怎么友好
But it's kind of funny when you think about it.
不过想起来还挺好笑的
'cause you ditched C.J. to be with A.J.
你为了A.J.甩了C.J.
To give him a B Let's just say I was not nice, okay?
为了给他口 我们还是称之为不友好吧
I am sure you did things in high school
我敢肯定你们高中也做过
you were not too proud of.
不太引以为豪的事吧
Not really.
并没有
Oh, what about when you and I tried out for cheerleading
比如那次我们参加拉拉队选拔
but I got it and you didn't?
结果我选上了你却没选上呢
You wanted to be a cheerleader?
你居然想当拉拉队长
Two, four, six, eight,
二 四 六 八
who do we humiliate?
我们嘲讽谁呢啊
Yeah, I'm excited about this reunion.
想起同学会我就兴奋得不得了
Show all those haters who said I'd never amount to anything.
让那些骂我成不了大器的人瞧瞧
Like that douche right there, Sal Resigno.
比如这个混♥蛋♥ Sal Resigno
Ugh, I hate him.
我恨死他了
You know I heard he's a toll-booth operator now?
我听说他现在在收费站工作
Yeah, I can't wait to see him
我都等不及见到他
so I can rub all my success in his face.
让他好好感受一下我的成功了
Look, I hate to intrude on
我不想打断一些
something I care so little about,
我一点都不关心的事
but if he's a toll-booth operator
可如果他只是个收费站的收费员
and you own your own business,
而你有了自己的生意
haven't you won already?
你不是已经赢了吗
No. The guy humiliated me, Buzz, all right?
不行 这家伙羞辱了我 好吗Buzz
He deserves to have all of this rubbed in his face.
好好感受一下这满身的成功都是他应得的
Nobody deserves that.
没人应得那些玩意
Uh, how exactly did this guy humiliate you?
具体来说他怎么羞辱你了
With two question marks and a comma.
用两个问号♥和一个逗号♥
Ben and Sal ran against each other for junior class president,
Ben和Sal初中竞选班长
and Sal changed all of Ben's signs
Sal涂改了Ben所有的标语
from "Ben for class president grossman"
从"Ben 班长候选人"
to "Ben? For class president? Gross, man."
改成了"Ben 班长猴选人"
See, now, kids, punctuation matters.
看见了吧孩子们 标点符号♥很重要
Yeah, and I lost that election because of Sal Resigno.
我就因为Sal Resigno输了那场竞选
But it's not just that, all right?
不过不止是因为这事 好吗
Guy was acting like he was better than me or something.
那家伙总是装作比我厉害好多的样子
Plus he's anti-semitic.
加上他还是个反闪米特分子
Are you sure he's not just anti-Ben?
你确定他不仅仅是反Ben分子吗
You know how Sal would have said that?
你知道Sal会怎么说这句话吗
"Jew" sure?
"犹"确定吗
He'd always try to throw the word "Jew"
他老是想把"犹"字
into every sentence and act like he didn't.
强行加入每句话 还假装他没有
Really? He never did anything like that to me.
真的吗 他在我面前从没这么干过
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say
那我大胆猜测一下好了
it's because you're not Jewish, mo.
因为你不是犹太人啊 Mo
Anyway, when I see that toll-booth operator,
反正 等我看见那个收费员
I'm gonna rub all of this in his face.
我要让他好好感受一下这满身的成功气息
Can somebody please change the subject
能来个人换个话题
so he stops doing that?
好让他别再那么做了吗
Joy, what are you doing here?
Joy 你在这干什么呢
Everybody left for the reunion.
大家都去参加同学会了
Oh, Buzzy, something horrible happened.
Buzzy 发生了一件可怕的事
I found an injured pigeon on the sidewalk.
我在人行道上发现了一只受伤的鸽子
He must have flown into the front window
他一定是飞着撞上了窗子
and broke his little beak.
撞坏了他的鸟喙
You talking about those
你是在说那些
filthy, disease-ridden rats with wings?
肮脏的 满身带病毒的 长翅膀的耗子吗
I'm sorry, did you say
不好意思 你是说
"one of god's beautiful creations"?
上帝的伟大杰作之一吗
Yes.
是的
Anyway, he was stunned and helpless,
话说回来 他吓傻了 又无助
so I made a swaddle out of a shaving towel,
所以我拿剃毛巾把他裹起来
and I rushed him to the vet.
赶紧把他送去兽医那儿了
Where they promptly threw him into a furnace,
而兽医瞬间就将他扔进了火炉
but go on.
不过你继续说
They promised they would give him seed
他们保证会给他吃点种子
and monitor his vitals.
观察他的脉搏的
Oh, hon, he's in the dumpster.
哦 亲爱的 他已经在垃圾箱里了
But go on.
不过你继续说
Anyway, I left my dress here,
总之 我把我的裙子忘在这了
so I had to come back,
于是不得不回来
and now I'm super late for the reunion.
现在同学会我已经迟到好久了
Well, you got to stop taking care of every
你不能再在路上停下来照顾
single little wounded bird that crosses your path.
每一只受伤的小鸟了
Oh, Buzzy, I can't have fun
Buzzy 我要是知道有一个小生命
if I know some poor little creature's in pain.
在受苦 我就没法开心啊
Oh, I'm kidding, Joy.
我开玩笑的 Joy
It's good to know there are people
世上有你这样善良的人
like you in the world.
让我很欣慰
Thanks, Buzzy.
谢了 Buzzy
But you're late and the bird is dead.
不过你迟到了 鸟也死了
Bye-bye, birdie.
"欢乐今宵"
Oh. Lonnie, what are you doing here?
Lonnie 你在这干啥呢
Oh, I'm waiting for my date.
我在等我的伴呢
She should be here any minute.
她应该马上就会到了
A date? That's nice, Lonnie. Have fun.
伴 真好啊 Lonnie 玩得开心
Yeah. She's classy,
是啊 她特别高雅
So I'm gonna take her out to a nice breakfast --
我要带她吃一顿丰盛的早餐
French toast.
法式吐司
Lonnie, it's 7:00 p.m.
Lonnie 这会儿都晚上七点了
Yeah, I think she's running a little late.
是啊 我猜她得迟到一会儿
Hope she hasn't forgotten.
希望她不是忘了
That would break my heart.
那样我会很伤心的
But you go have fun.
不过你去吧 玩得开心
You poor little wounded bird.
你这个可怜的受伤的小鸟
I forgot we went to high school with so many hot girls.
我都快忘了高中有这么多身材惹火的姑娘
I'm getting a lot of looks, Mo.
不少人都关注我呢 Mo
It could be they just can't place you
可能是因为你没戴那顶软呢帽
without the fedora.
他们记不起你是谁了吧
They know who I am, Mo.
他们知道我是谁的 Mo
Where the hell is Sal Resigno, huh?
Sal Resigno究竟在哪儿呢
He better have the guts to show up.
他最好有胆量出现
Why don't you go see if he's checked in. No, not now.
你干嘛不去看看他有没有签到呢 不 现在不行
I don't want to seem overanxious.
我不想显得太焦急了
Okay, now I'll go check.
好了 我现在去看看
Old friend of Ben's?
Ben的老朋友吗
No, he can't stand the guy.
不是 Ben受不了那家伙