理发店的笑声（2015）

我不想找什么乐子 我只想玩牌
I call.
摊牌吧
You're really into this poker game, Buzz.
你对扑克牌陷得好深啊 Buzz
Why'd you want to play so bad? Because it's fun!
为什么你这么想玩 因为有乐子啊
But you just said --
但你刚才不是说
Would you just show your cards, Mo, please?!
别说了 Mo 快摊牌吧
Geez.
天
Ah! Look at that!
啊 快看
Loser, loser, loser!
输了 输了 输了
Winner, winner, winner!
我赢了 赢了 赢了
Yeah! Whoo!
好耶
So, do you guys like this guy your cousin's marrying?
话说你们喜欢你们表姐的未婚夫吗
Oh, Joey? Yeah, he's perfect for her.
噢 Joey 喜欢啊 他们很配
He's an even bigger skank than she is.
他比我们表姐还喜欢勾三搭四
Yeah, we've all had a whack at him.
是啊 我们都和他有过一腿
He's like the neighborhood sex pinata.
他就像是"隔壁老王"
I didn't go all the way with Joey.
我跟Joey可没做那档子事儿
I'm saving myself for marriage.
我可是要等到结婚那天呢
Yeah, she's an irish virgin.
没错 她是爱尔兰式小处♥女♥
I'm sorry. What?
那是什么意思
Oh, the front door is triple locked,
噢 "前门"的确上了三道锁
But if you go around back,
但是如果你选择"后入"的话
You can crawl right in through the doggy door.
你还是可以从狗洞里钻进去的哦
You guys must be really excited
你们一定很激动吧
That you have a cute, new baby to fawn over.
因为有个可爱的新宝宝来让你们宠了
Well, Colleen already has a 7-month-old
Colleen已经有个七个月大的宝宝了
From her last boyfriend.
是她前任男友的
Ma's upstairs, baby-sitting him right now.
妈正在楼上照顾他呢
He's half black.
他有一半黑人血统哦
I can whole hear you.
我完全听得到你哦
Somebody should tell that baby up in the Doyles' apartment
真该有人叫Doyles房♥里的宝宝安静点
That there are gentlemen trying to play poker out here.
我们可正在打牌呢
Hey, baby, there are gentlemen trying to play poker out there!
嘿宝宝安静点 他们正打牌呢
Thank you. Thank you, Lonnie.
谢谢你 谢谢你啊 Lonnie
Okay, ladies, show 'em.
好了 女士们 亮牌吧
Two pair -- jacks and fives.
两对 一对J一对5
Hee-hee
嘿嘿
I'm sorry. You said "Jackson five."
抱歉 一对J一对5听起来像"Jackson 5"
I'm like a dog with a bell. I got nothin'.
我就忍♥不住唱起来了 我没有牌出
Me too. Damn!
我也是 靠
Hey, maybe you should quit bluffing there, Buzz.
嘿 Buzz 你打牌的时候别再虚张声势啦
Yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna bluff next time.
好好 我下次就不唬你们了
That's what you said the last four hands.
你前四手牌也是这么说的
Now you're just bluffing about bluffing.
你现在是在唬人说 你没有唬人
Thank you for pointing that out, Lonnie.
谢谢你指出这一点 Lonnie
All right, I am running to the atm.
我得去取点钱了
Nobody move.
你们都别动啊
We pick this up when I come back.
等我回来我们再继续
I love weddings.
我喜欢婚礼
Joy, was yours and Bart's wedding day
Joy 你和Bart结婚那天
The happiest day of your life? Mmhmm.
是你一生中最快乐的一天吗 嗯哼
Is there anything more romantic
还有比"直到死亡才能将你们分离"
Than "Till death do you part"?
更浪漫的事吗
can you keep your lips still, please?
能请你保持你的嘴唇不动吗
I mean, you and Bart are the
你和Bart是我见过
happiest couple I okay, mouth closed, please!
最幸福的 好了 请闭嘴
I don't want to mess up your face!
我不想化坏你的脸
I want to marry a rich guy who's tall, dark, and handsome.
我想和一个黑人高富帅结婚
Or a rich girl who's short, blond, and pretty.
不过一个矮富美的金发妹子也行
Are you bi?
你是双性恋吗
Yeah, I'm bi.
对啊 我是
I'm gonna marry whoever buys me more stuff.
谁给我买♥♥的东西多我就跟谁结婚
You know what the most important thing in marriage is?
你们知道婚姻最重要的是什么吗
Honesty. You have to tell the truth to each other.
诚实 你们必须坦诚相待
Sometimes it's better to keep it in
如果讲出来会伤害对方的感情
If it might hurt someone's feelings.
有些事还是不说来比较好
The most important thing in marriage is obvious --
婚姻最重要的当然是
Sex!
性
Sex fades over time.
性会随着时间流逝的
Not if you have enough batteries, huh?!
除非你有足够的电力 对不
Oh, yeah!
太对了
Hey, Joy, you're the only one of us who's married.
嘿 Joy你是我们中唯一一个已婚的
What would you say is the most important thing
你觉得找丈夫的时候
To look for in a husband?
什么是最重要的
You know, I -- I guess I'd say...
呃 我觉得应该是
Someone you can count on.
找个你能依靠的人
You have that with Bart, right?
就像你能依靠Bart一样 对吗
Well, excuse me for a second.
稍等我一会
She's probably gonna call him to say she loves him.
她一定是要打电♥话♥给他说她爱他
Rhonda, you may be too dumb to live!
Rhonda 你简直蠢死了
What do you think's going on with him?
你觉得他怎么了
Maybe he and Tommy are having problems in the bedroom.
也许他和Tommy房♥事不和
I mean, they both wear sleep apnea masks,
他们都戴着睡眠呼吸暂停供氧面罩
And it can't be easy to make love with those on, right?
戴着这玩意儿他们一定很难做♥爱♥吧 对吧
I mean, think about trying to open-mouth kiss a man
想象一下想要张着嘴巴亲一个男人
With that sort of apparatus on your mouth.
嘴巴上还戴着那种仪器
What the hell are you talking about?
你到底在讲什么
I'm just guessing, man. Well, don't guess, mo.
我只是随便猜猜 兄弟 你还是别猜了老兄
Oh, but, you know, alternatively in nights when they want to make love,
但也有可能 在他们想做♥爱♥的夜晚
They could take their masks off
他们会把面罩拿下来
For some face-to-face lovemaking.
面对面地做♥爱♥
I don't think face-to-face lovemaking
我觉得面对面做♥爱♥不符合
Is, uh, an option with their lifestyle, A.J.
他们的生活方式 AJ
Unless -- and I'm just spit-balling here,
除非 我也就是随便猜猜啊
But if there was some sort of wedged pillow situation,
但是如果他们碰到某种卡枕头的情况
Which, when placed under the hips --
就是把枕头垫在臀部下面
All right, you need to stop it right there, Mo!
别再说了 Mo
Just sayin',
随便讲讲嘛
It would open a fella up like a flower.
这能让一个人像花一样开放
Jesus!
天啊
That's the last thing I needed,
我最不想看到的就是
Was a visual of bloomin' Buzzy!
Buzzy"开放"的画面
Thank you!
谢谢你
Just tryin' to figure out what's wrong with him.
我只是想弄清楚他到底怎么了
What do you mean? He's got a serious gambling problem.
你什么意思 他有严重的赌博问题啊
He does? Since when? Since always.
他有吗 从什么时候开始的 他一直都有啊
Why do you think I own a barbershop called Buzzy's?
不然我怎么会拥有一家叫"Buzzy"的理发店
Because who'd want to get their hair cut
因为没有人会想在
At a barber shop called "Little assholes"?
一家叫"小混♥蛋♥"的理发店剪头发吗
Mm-hmm! I knew it! I'm gonna kill him!
嗯哼 我就知道 我要杀了他
Buzzy's gambling with you guys, isn't he?
Buzzy在跟你们赌博对不对
Uh, no, no, no, it's just the three of us.
呃没没没 只有我们三个人在玩
Well, if it's just the three of you guys,
如果就你们三个人玩的话
Whose hand is that?
那叠牌是谁的
Uh, we're playin'...
呃 我们在玩
Ghost poker!
鬼扑克
That's the ghost's hand.
那是鬼的牌
"Ghost poker"?
鬼扑克吗
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
对对对 当然啦
You know, y-you deal to the ghost,
就是你给鬼发牌
And whatever the ghost has is wild.
不管鬼拿到什么牌都是万能的
And haunted --
也是闹心的
Because it belongs to the gho-o-st!
因为它是属于鬼的
Well, you know, it's a good thing
好吧 你们知道吗
He's not gambling with you guys
还好他没在跟你们赌博
Because if he was,
因为如果他赌了
He'd be gambling with the money
他就是在用
He set aside for his mother's medication.
他留给他母亲买♥♥药的钱赌
Oh, that would not be a good thing to gamble with.
这可不是应该赌的东西
No, it would not.
对 可不是嘛
His mama needs those pills