老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E02

Part 4 March 1, 2021, 10:31 a.m.

I think I'm your sign, Jean Jacket!
不我叫简·雷恩斯
No, uh, uh, it's Jean Raines.
简·雷恩斯夹克
Jean Raines Jacket?
你父母怎么回事
What was wrong with your parents?
我有份工作给你
Look, I have a job for you.
我开了一家大学咨♥询♥公♥司♥
I started a college counseling business.
应用程序很快就会推出
Applications roll out pretty soon.
我需要一些帮助
And I could use some help.
我不是大学辅♥导♥员
I'm not a college counselor.
我在加州也没有执照
And I'm not technically licensed in California.
谁还没点瑕疵了
We all got stuff.
你是老师你喜欢孩子
You're a teacher. You like kids.
你的嗓音特别优雅动听
You have a rich, buttery voice.
你太完美了
You're perfect.
你才刚认识我啊
You just met me.
是的但我对你有感觉简
Yeah, but I have a feeling about you, Jean.
我觉得我可以雇你
I have a feeling that I could hire you,
然后取消所有的面试
cancel all my other interviews,
这个周末就可以去棕榈泉了
and go to Palm Springs this weekend.
我的确很喜欢引导年轻人走向光明未来的想法
I do like the idea of guiding young people towards a brighter future.
我喜欢
I like that.
你明白我的意思吗
You see what I'm saying?
我没办法这么正经地说那种废话了
I can't say crap like that with a straight face anymore.
你很适合我的生意
You'd be perfect for my business.
她太容易相信别人了
And she's too trusting.
我们刚认识就已经是好朋友了
We just met and we're already best friends.
虽然感觉很棒但她不能在大街上乱♥交♥朋友啊
I mean, it's sweet, but she can't do that out on the streets.
她很健谈
She's very chatty,
即使嘴里都塞满了
even with enormous amounts of food in her mouth.
她总是给我们做她著名的松饼
And she's always making us her famous muffins
著名的松饼以及著名的松饼
or her famous meatloaf or her famous quiche.
为什么著名
Why were they famous?
她觉得这些东西就像凯文·科斯特纳
She thinks they're like Kevin Costner.
因为他们都"炙手可热" 大家都喜欢
Because they're hot and everyone loves them.
你得帮我们找到她
Hey, you have to help us find her.
她是最好的人
She's, like, the nicest.
她问你过得怎么样的时候
When she asks how you're doing,
不仅有礼貌还有眼神交流
she's not just being polite -- she makes eye contact.
很奇怪就像她真的想知道你的近况一样
It's weird, but it's like she really wants to know. You know?
你们描述一下她的样貌吧
I just need a description.
我来吧她大概一米六五
I got this. She's about 5'5".
聪明风趣性感
She's smart, she's funny, she's sexy.
嗓音优雅动听
She's got this rich, buttery voice.
她的微笑就像魔法一样
Uh, she got a magical smile.
可以照亮整个房♥间
It just lights up the whole damn room.
我们已经确认他是嫌疑犯了
We've already identified him as our suspect.
这是真警♥察♥ 这种话可不好笑
It's not funny when there's a real cop here.
拜托伙计
Come on, man.
你好啊
Hello?
我错过自己的派对了吗
Did I miss my own party?
妈你没事啊你怎么回家的
Mom, you're okay! How did you get home?
坐公车啊
I took a bus.
妈太扯了
Mom. That's nuts.
你怎么知道要坐公车的
How'd you know how to do that?
你的成长过程中有一些严重的空白啊
I'm finding there are some serious gaps in your upbringing.
雷恩斯妈妈
Mother Raines.
不不行
Ooh, no, no.
他不喜欢分享是吗
He doesn't share, does he?
他不喜欢分享他妈妈
No, not his Mommy.
还好你没事
Thank goodness you're okay.
很抱歉我把你弄丢了雷恩斯妈妈
I'm sorry I lost you, Mother Raines.
-并没有 -那是我的台词
- I don't think so. - Yeah, that's mine.
没关系西莉亚
That's okay, Celia.
只有你愿意和我一起出去
You were the only one who offered to hang out with me.
虽然你丢下了我让我自己
And yes, you ditched me and I had to make my way back
从"好"回来但是没关系
from the middle of Ho, but that's okay.
吃一堑长一智嘛
It needed to happen.
我发现这样不行
It made me realize this situation isn't working.
什么
What?
没事我没事的
It's fine. I-I'll be okay.
等等所以你你要回爱荷华吗
Wait, so you're -- you're going back to Iowa?
-不 -实际吧我
- No! - Actually, I --
妈我很抱歉
Mom, I'm so sorry.
我不该发母女保持界限的邮件
I shouldn't have sent that boundaries e-mail.
太蠢了我是从"今天心理学"下的
It was stupid. I got it off PsychologyToday.
-杰姬 -现在你要回爱荷华了
- Jackie -- - And now you're going back
如果可以重来
to Iowa and if I could do it again,
我愿意每天都和你一起吃早餐
I'd have breakfast with you every day.
我可以把早餐当晚餐
I'd have breakfast for dinner,
晚餐当早餐午餐我们就
dinner for breakfast, lu-- Lunch, we would just --
就吃正常的午餐
we would have regular lunch.
我家就是你家
And my home would be your home.
我家也是你家妈我给你腾半张沙发
My home would be your home, too, Mom. I'd give you half my couch.
伙计们
Wow, you guys.
那你们听到这个消息肯定很开心
You're going to be really excited about my news, then.
因为我哪儿也不去
Because I'm not going anywhere.
感谢上帝
Oh, thank God!
我以为你要走呢
I thought I lost you.
什么叫你哪儿也不去
What do you mean you're not going anywhere?
我找到大学辅♥导♥员的工作了
I got a job. I'm going to be a college counselor.
没错感谢你今天早上拒绝我
That's right. Thanks to your rejection this morning,
我在外面找到了工作
I found work on the streets.
我的朋友肉豆蔻就是这么找到工作的
Mm, that happened to my friend Nutmeg.
别担心伙计们我知道你们有自己的生活
Don't worry, you guys. I know you have your own lives.
我不指望你们随时在我身边
I don't expect you to be around whenever I want.
我也会很忙的
In fact, I'm going to be busy, too.
我找到了一份工作和一个朋友
I found a job and a friend.
我可能没有时间陪你们了
I may not have time for you.
骗你们的我一直有时间陪你们
That's not true. I'll always have time for you.
你们吃晚饭吗
Do you want to get dinner?
妈我们得回去工作了
Mom, we have to go back to work.
现在是下午3点
It's 3:00 in the afternoon.
这里不分四季你们怎么知道的
There are no seasons here! How can you tell?
妈回头见
We'll meet up with you later, though, Mom.
再见弗雷迪的妈妈
Bye, Freddie's mom!
-爱你 -再见爱你
- Love you! - Bye. Love you.
-简 -丹尼你什么都不用说
- Jean... - Danny, you don't have to say anything.
不不不我想说
No, no, no, I-I want to.
我
I-I-I --
我真的很喜欢你
I really like you.
毕竟我这么好
What's not to like?
-但问题是我 -听着我
- It's just the thing is, I-I -- - Look, I-I --
你不用纠结了
I'm going to let you off the hook here.
你才分居两个月
You've only been separated for two months.
还没准备好出来乱搞
You're not ready to start fooling around with anyone.
我没有乱搞
I wasn't fooling around.
你说谢丽尔是你老婆
Well, you called Cheryl your wife.
说我"只是个租客"
You called me "Just a renter."
你还有些事需要了结
You've got some stuff to sort out.
我还有大学生要辅♥导♥
And I have some college to counsel.
看来咱俩都变成辅♥导♥员了
Looks like we're both gonna be counselors now.
我不太了解我的新工作
I don't really understand my new job.
那你愿意等我做个了结吗
I don't suppose you want to wait till I sort my stuff?
我不喜欢等待
I don't like waiting.
明白不喜欢复杂
Got it. Don't like complicated.
不喜欢等待
Don't like waiting.
如果你想列清单的话我还不喜欢核桃
If you're making a list, I also don't like walnuts,
沙文主义者或者叫我放松的人
chauvinists, or people who tell me to relax.
这清单不错
It's a good list.
你做得对
You're doing the right thing.
你在保护自己你没事