老妈驾到（2021）

Call Your Mother S01E05

Part 4 March 1, 2021, 10:32 a.m.

我真的厌倦等待时机了
I'm just really tired of waiting for something to happen.
能出来真好
It's nice to be out.
我也厌倦了等待
I was tired of waiting around, too.
我太厉害了
I did great.
我拿了半个玉米风味椒盐脆饼
I got half an ear of corn, flavored pretzels,
加上所有的康普茶
all of the kombuchas,
我告诉卖♥♥乳液的女士今天是我生日
and I got one hand exfoliated by the lotion lady
她就帮我去了一只手的角质
when I told her it was my birthday.
但今天不是我生日
It's not my birthday.
你很有天赋啊
You are a natural at this.
猜猜她给哪只手去了角质
Guess which hand they did.
我喜欢这个游戏好吧
Okay. I love this game. Alright.
我觉得是左边这只
Oh, I -- I think it's the left one.
另一只也很棒啦
I mean, the other one is really nice, too,
但是这只软一点
but, uh, this one's a little softer.
你去过好莱坞露天剧场吗
Hey, have you ever been to the Hollywood Bowl?
没有但我一直想去来着
No, but I've always wanted to.
虽然我没有票
Oh, well, I don't have tickets or anything,
但如果你往剧场上方走500英尺
but if you hike like about 500 feet up above the Bowl,
你差不多就能看到表演
you can almost see the show
而且差不多可以听到音乐
and you can almost hear the music.
所以你车里才有一个望远镜吗
Is that why you have binoculars in your car?
是啊
Yeah.
省了很多口舌
Well, that saves us a conversation.
你在干嘛
Whatcha doing?
什么都没干
I'm not really doing anything.
那是绷带吗
Is that a bandage?
是的我纹身了
Yep. Yeah. I got inked.
我去了纹身店
I got it down at the tattoo shop.
我现在有纹身了
I'm a tat guy now.
不过我暂时不能沾水
Got to keep it out of the water, though.
这个小崽子不能洗泡泡浴
No bubble baths for this bad boy.
你纹身你疯了吗
You got a tattoo? Are you insane?
-为什么 -我也不知道
- Why? - I don't know.
尝试新事物吧
Just trying something new.
ABT[一直在努力]
A.B.T. -- always be trying.
SN[新东西]
S.N. -- something new.
我知道是怎么回事了
Okay, I know what this is about.
自从我们谈过恋爱史后
You've been acting weird ever since we had that conversation
你就一直怪怪的
about our dating history.
什么什么恋爱史
What? What conversation?
你是说那什么
Oh, it had something to do with, uh...
德国和三人情侣吗
Germany and -- and throuples?
我就知道你吓到了为什么
Yeah, I knew that freaked you out. Why?
我只想让你知道我愿意做任何事
I just want you to know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes
让你对我保持兴趣
to keep you interested.
我可以纹身穿孔
I'll get tats, piercings.
我愿意再吹一次萨克斯风
I'm willing to play the saxophone again.
我真的不想让你厌倦我西莉亚
I really don't want you to get tired of me, Celia.
我为什么会厌倦你
Why would I get tired of you?
因为你想
Because you want --
你想要变化异域风情和冒险
you want variety and exotic locations and adventure.
我只是
I'm just a...
只是个白人直男
just a straight, white man.
嗯从你说我想要什么就能看出来
Yeah, I can tell by the way you're telling me what I want.
隔离以后
Look, after quarantine started,
我不能旅行也没有派对了
I couldn't travel, there were no more parties,
我还在缓刑期
I was still on probation,
我的发型师搬回奥马哈了
my hairstylist moved back to Omaha --
-等等什么 -是吧这是我自己剪的
- Wait. What? - Yeah, I know. I had to cut this myself.
我得停下来歇会儿
I just had to stop and be for a minute.
这给了我时间去弄清楚
And it gave me time to figure out
我真正想要什么需要什么
what I truly wanted and needed.
然后我们认识了我发现就是你
And then we met, and I realized it was you.
你是说我吗穿着米黄色裤子
You mean me, the Iowa boy with the beige pants
在家干着无聊工作的爱荷华男生
and the boring work-from-home job?
我是说我爱你笨蛋
I'm saying I love you, dummy.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
让我看看那个纹身
Okay, let's see that tattoo.
好的但是事先声明
Okay. Okay. But just so you know...
-我是为了你纹的 -很好
- ...I got it for you. - Great.
意思是"西莉亚永恒挚爱"
And it stands for "Celia for all time."
-好 -好我重申一下
- Okay. - Okay. Again...
-"永恒挚爱" -很好
- ..."for all time." - Great.
西莉亚肥
"Celia FAT"?
"永恒挚爱"
"For all time."
-赶紧洗了 -我已经预约了
- Have it removed. - I already made the appointment.
亲爱的你还在啊
Oh, honey, you're still here.
我以为你有安排了
I thought you had plans.
我明天去找汉克
Oh, I'm just gonna see Hank tomorrow.
他本来想小睡结果直接要睡到明天了
His nap ran into regular bedtime.
-约会怎么样 -太棒了
- How was your date? - It was great.
我们吃了一顿小碟晚餐我做了一半的美容
We had a small-plates dinner, I got half a beauty treatment,
然后玩了一个"哪只手更软"的游戏
and we played a game of "Which hand is softer?"
听起来很奇怪啊
That sounds w-weird.
你还会再见他吗
So, um, are you gonna see him again?
不不不
No. No, no, no, no, no.
他很贴心但不适合我
I mean, he was very sweet, but not for me.
但是至少等一周再告诉丹尼
But don't tell Danny for at least a week.
你是对的
You were right.
我感觉我找回了力量
I feel like I took my power back.
知道为什么吗
You know why?
因为我是大♥师♥
It's because I'm a guru.
我真为你骄傲妈妈
I'm really proud of you, Mom.
我也为自己骄傲
I'm proud of me, too.
雷恩斯妈妈
Hey, Mother Raines.
未来的雷恩斯妈妈
Hey, Mother Raines in the making.
我来拿落在这里的衣服
Just grabbing some clothes that I left here,
我要走了回头见
and I'll be heading out. See you all later!
等等你约会时出什么事了
Wait. What's going on? What happened on your date?
我还在约会中周末要去棕榈泉
Still on it. Going to Palm Springs for the weekend.
回头见
See you all later!
说好的淡定不显露情绪呢
Uh, what happened to being aloof, not giving it all away?
那可是棕榈泉
Well, what happened is... Palm Springs.
显露的可不只是情绪了
I'll be giving away plenty.
大家再见
See you all la--
好吧非常感谢
Okay, I mean, thank you so much.
一开始你确实帮我缓解了紧张
You definitely helped with my nerves in the beginning,
但事实证明我不是那样的人
but turns out, that's not who I am.
我喜欢分享
I'm a sharer.
维克多说我和周六的园艺店一样开放
Victor says I'm as open as a garden store on Saturday.
他很喜欢
And he loves it.
说真的大家回头见
So, seriously, see you all later!
玩得高兴
Have fun.
我都跟他说了不要这样
This is exactly what I told him not to do.
有些时候吧有舍才能有得
Sometimes you have to give something away to get something back.
他会受伤的
He's going to get hurt.
只有敞开心扉
Opening yourself up is the only way
才能有一段真正的感情亲爱的
to have a real relationship, sweetie.
我的感情很真实啊
My relationship is real.
我知道
Oh, I know.
我说的是莱恩
I-I was talking about Lane.
你的感情没问题
Your thing is good.
现在我要脱掉这些衣服
And now I'm gonna get out of these clothes
穿上我的胜利羊毛衫了
and put on my victory fleece.
谢谢你的帮助
Thanks for your help.
抱歉
Sorry.
-不你来 -不不请吧
- No, you go ahead. - No, no, please.
我绝对不会切除脑瘤后
I could never have sex in a closet
还在壁橱里做♥爱♥的
after removing a brain tumor.